Bleeding Soul and Silent Screams
Chapter 5 Hold On
"Lost and broken
hopeless and alone
smiling on the outside
but hurt beneath my skin
my eyes are fading
my soul is bleeding
I'll try to make it seem okay
but my faith is wearing thin"
- death's rose
Ginny's legs began to grow weak and he knees began to buckle. She quickly sat down before she fell. She was too numb to move or say anything. She couldn't breathe and she couldn't think, but worst of all, she couldn't cry. She felt the tears in her eyes but they still wouldn't fall. She didn't cry when she had the knife to do it for her. And right then she desperately needed her knife. She needed to breathe, she needed to think, and she needed to cry. And if she couldn't cry then she would bleed, she would bleed away all the tears. She slowly rose and her body shook. She had to get to her room as fast as she could. She quickly got up and started to run up the stairs. As she reached the top, she bumped into Ron and dropped what she was holding. But she didn't care and she didn't turn back when he called out to her. Everything was blur and she needed her knife to make it focus.
"Gin, are you okay? You dropped something!" Ron called. But she didn't turn back and just slammed the door. He bent down and picked up what Ginny had dropped.
It was a newspaper, the Daily Prophet in fact. "What had made here so upset?" he wondered. He turned the paper over and his eyes widened in horror.
"Mum! Mum, come here quick!" he shouted.
"What dear? What is it?" Molly asked with a confused look on her face.
"Its P-Percy, he's d-dead."
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Ginny was so upset. She couldn't cry and although she wanted to very badly, the tears wouldn't come. So she cut. She cut again and again, but the ache wouldn't lessen and she still couldn't breathe. So she cut deeper. She ran out of room on her arms so she cut her thigh. Her skin was very sensitive there and finally the ache lessened and she could breathe again. She made two thin but very long cuts just above her left breast. Those were for her father and brother, two people she would never see again.
Her family was stunned. They were even more upset that they had to learn about their son's death through the newspaper and weren't informed personally. Stephan's excuse was that he got home quite late from the "incident" and wanted his wife and her children to have one more happy night before they found out the horrible news. But Ginny knew the truth. He had come home late, but only by an hour. He had purposely stayed downstairs just so everyone would think he had come home very late.
The paper has said that Percy was gunned down and then robbed on his way home from work. It said that the ministry suspected it was muggles who had killed him because they left his wand and all wizarding objects behind. "That was strange," Ginny thought. Hadn't her father died the same way? She climbed the stairs and went into the attic. She was searching for an old newspaper, the one that had reported her father's killing.
On the morning of January 23, the body of Arthur Weasley was discovered among garbage bins close to the Ministry. On the evening of January 22, witnesses said they saw Arthur Weasley leave the building on his way home. The murder appears muggle related. He was attacked with a muggle firearm and then robbed of any possessions valuable to them. His wand and any wizarding objects were left behind. Since this appears to be the work of muggles, the ministry cannot open any investigations. But our sympathy goes out to Molly Weasley and the rest of her family.
That was all they could offer, their sympathy. Well their sympathy had gotten her an abusive stepfather and their sympathy wouldn't bring back her brother. Ginny sat in the attic for the rest of the afternoon, re-reading the article word-by-word.
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It was the day before they would return to Hogwarts, also the day of Percy Weasley's funeral. The family had been mourning all week and on their beloved Percy's funeral it was raining. As they lowered the coffin into the ground Molly Weasley became hysterical. The rest of her brothers and him had gone over to support her, while Harry and Hermione hugged. And there she was Ginny Weasley, standing in the rain with no one to comfort her and with no one to care. Her spirit was broken and everything seemed out of place. Two people she had loved very much left her before their time was done and no one was there to tell her everything would be okay. She knew deep down in her soul nothing was okay and nothing would be fine. Her life was broken into pieces, just like shattered glass. It was too painful to fix and would be swept aside into a corner, just like her. Any hope she had gotten back was gone. She wasn't completely broken but she was falling off the edge. And as she screamed inside no one would come, no one would help her. She had questioned all reasons for living, but found no good answers. Was her life that worthless to herself and others? But something in her heart told her to hold on, hold on for just a bit longer. Hold on for something better to come, hold on for someone to save her from the pain and suffering. So she would hold on for a while longer. Holding on for someone to help and holding on for something better.
A/N: I couldn't help writing another chapter. I didn't want to be mean and leave you guys hanging on the end of chapter four so I wrote one more. Sorry this chapter wasn't as long as the one before but I'm short on time today. I'm going away for the weekend and won't be back until Sunday night. If I have time I'll write then but don't be expecting a post until Monday or Tuesday at the latest. I hope you enjoyed!