Chapter 8 Weak
"lie to me,
convince me I've been sick forever.
and all of this will make sense when I get better.
I know the difference between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but wonder,
which of us do you love?"
-evanescence
"Ginny, get up, you're going to be late for lessons," said Hermione as she shook Ginny. Ginny's mouth twitched and her fingers moved but she was still very asleep. Hermione grabbed one of her pillows and threw it at her has hard as she could, hitting her squarely in the face.
Ginny sat up suddenly, "What the fuck? Can't you tell I'm trying to sleep?" she screamed at Hermione.
"Yea, well you've slept too long. Classes start in fifteen minutes and you already missed breakfast so you better hurry up! And just because you look like crap doesn't mean I'm going to excuse you from the first day," Hermione added looking at Ginny's pale face and the bags under her eyes.
"Well thank for the support, Hermione," Ginny responded sarcastically as she walked over to the mirror. But she agreed; staying up very late had taken a toll on her appearance. Her face was very pale, her natural curly hair hung limp around her face, and two very noticeable bags were just bellow her eyes.
"Don't forget to check your schedule, Gin," Hermione said quietly before leaving the room. Ginny walked over to her trunk and began to rummage through it, looking for her schedule. When she finally found it, it said:
Weasley, Virginia Molly Year 6
Schedule:
DADA 7
Potions 7
Herbology 6
Lunch
History of Magic 6
Care of Magical Creatures 6
Charms 7
Transfiguration 6
Ginny opened her mouth in shock. How could three of her classes be seventh year classes? She quickly got changed and headed to Professor McGonagall's office.
She knocked on the office door and waited for permission to enter. "Come in," said a voice from inside. Ginny opened the door and stepped in.
"Yes, Ms. Weasley, what can I help you with," said the professor not looking up from her work.
"Well professor, you see, I just looked at my schedule this morning and I think something's wrong with it. Three of my classes are seventh year classes and I'm only a sixth year. So I was hoping you could maybe fix this," Ginny said hesitantly.
"Sorry I did not inform you earlier Ms. Weasley, but there is nothing wrong with your schedule. You excelled in these three classes and you were at the top of your year. The headmaster saw it best that you move ahead one year in these classes so that you would be presented with a challenge. No doubt re-learning things you already know would come as a bore," McGongall said giving Ginny a short smile, "I suggest you get to your class Ms. Weasley, we don't want you to be late."
She hurried Ginny out the door and left her there to stand. "This is just what I need," Ginny thought to herself sarcastically. As if her problems weren't bad enough already she was now in three seventh year classes. "A sixth year with the homework and classes of a seventh year, wonderful," she thought again. She turned and began to head to her first class hoping it wouldn't be as bad as it seemed.
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It was lunch and Ginny sat in the great hall, picking at her food. She wasn't at all hungry. DADA had been bearable, but also difficult and very advanced. The class was very far ahead from what she had learned in her fifth year. She felt like a child who knew nothing and everything was too hard to understand. Potions had been the worst out of her morning classes. She had managed to lose thirty-five house points and get yelled at three times by Professor Snape, all in the same day. Hermione walked over to Ginny and sat down.
"Hey, Ginny. How were your first three classes?" She asked.
"Okay, I guess. Nothing special," Ginny replied with no emotion in her voice, "Where's my brother and wonder boy?"
"Oh, I think they're coming down now. I left them in the common room talking about Quidditch," She said.
She watched Ginny get up and start to leave, "Gin, where you going? You hardly ate lunch."
"That okay, I wasn't very hungry in the first place. I guess I'll go to the library and get some work done," she said as she walked away.
Ginny really was planning on going to the library. The work Snape had assigned was enormous and had to be done by Friday. But as she heard Ron and Harry's voices she quickly hid in the shadow of a statue.
"Harry I just don't get why you care so much," Ron said shrugging his shoulders, "She's just my sister, no one special, no one important."
"Ron, I really think we should spend some more time with her. Ginny's just seemed so distant and cold ever since we got here and it's bugging me," Harry said seriously.
"I don't believe it. Harry, she's just playing one of her stupid little girl tricks to get everyone's attention. She did it all summer long and now she's doing it here. Just ignore her for a couple days and she become the normal Ginny again," Ron said with a laugh. But he turned serious again when he asked, "Why do you like her or something?"
"No, I don't like her. I like Hermione and you know that," he replied.
"Yea, yea," said Ron shaking it off, "wouldn't that be funny? If you actually liked Ginny and she had already gotten over you? That would be hysterical! I mean come on, who would like Ginny anyway? She's too weird," Ron said and both boys entered the great hall laughing.
Ginny felt like there was a boulder holding down her heart. She ran looking for an empty place to be alone in. She reached the second floor girl's bathroom and quickly ran in locking the door behind her. She sank to the floor and began to weep. It had been an entire month since she had cried and now everything was coming out. With each sob her body would shake. She willed herself to stop but the tears kept coming.
"Tears are for the weak. I'm not weak so I can't cry. The knife cries for me so I won't have to," Ginny sobbed to herself and repeated, "the knife cries for me."
Still sitting on the floor she looked up at her surroundings. She recognized it immediately and remembered all that had happened. This was the place that had ruined and practically killed her.
"Why did you betray me, Tom?" she whispered softly, "friends don't do that. Friends don't betray each other, Tom."
Ginny stood up and walked to the mirror. "Why did you leave me, Tom? Why?" she began to scream.
"You were my best friend, my only friend. How could you do this to me? How could you?" She screamed into the silence.
"I trusted you, I loved you. Why did you leave me? What did I do to deserve this?" she screamed again.
"How the fuck could you do this to me? I hate you! Do you hear me? I fucking hate you!"
Ginny grabbed her knife from her pocket and carved 'I Hate You' on her arm, then on her leg and finally on her chest. She sank to the floor again in sobs and watched the blood flow freely from her.
"Did you hear me, Tom? I hate you,"
A/N: Yeah, it's kinda dark there at the end. Sorry to ShadowontheMoon that there isn't enough D/G stuff yet but don' worry there will be plenty more to come.