Chapter 11 Strong Girls Don't Cry
"You're too important for anyone
There's something wrong with everything you see
But I, I know who you really are
You're the one who cries when you're alone
You think that I can't see right through your eyes
Scared to death to face reality
No one seems to hear your hidden cries
You're left to face yourself alone"
-evanescence
Ginny didn't know how long she had been crying in his arms. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours. All she knew was that the tears wouldn't stop falling and with each sob he would say comforting words. She slowly started to push the tears back in. Even though Draco knew her secrets the others didn't. If she let all her emotions out she wasn't sure she would be able to keep them in around the others. Slowly she pulled away and looked into Draco's eyes, studying them with intensity. They were usually a dark gray when he was around others and an even darker gray when he was around Gryffindors. But know they were a light gray filled with worry, care and maybe even love? Ginny gave a small smile; she had something to live for now, something worth while. She wasn't completely gone although most of her still was.
Draco felt Ginny's sobs lessen as he whispered comforting words into her ear. It wasn't much, but he knew it would bring her a small comfort. He felt her slowly pull away, along with the warmth she had given him. As she pulled back she looked into his eyes and he looked into hers. They were red and puffy from her crying, but Draco still thought them pretty. He still saw the pain and fear in her eyes but there was something else. Hope. He saw hope and it made him happy that she had something to hope for. They both sat in silence staring into each other's eyes.
Ginny finally spoke, "I think I need to get back to the common room now."
Draco nodded and walked her down to the seventh floor. When they reached the portrait hole Ginny said, "Thank you for everything, Draco. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
With that she gave him a quick hug and walked into her common room. Draco stood there for a few moments with a smile on his face. He had offered to save her and she had finally accepted and that could only make him one of the happiest people alive.
Ginny entered the common room and saw Harry, Hermione and Ron sitting by the fire and talking. Of course they didn't see her, but at the moment she could care less. She headed to her room and sat on her bed pulling the drapes around her. She took the knife out of her pocket and stared at it. She looked at its sharp edge and felt its heavy handle, but got no urge to cut. Her heart felt no weight and her breathing was calm and steady. So she stuck the knife under her pillow and climbed under the covers hoping the next day would be a brighter one.
Ginny woke at six in the morning feeling better than she had in along time. It had been the first night she hadn't had a nightmare and it had been the first night she hadn't woken in a cold sweat clutching her knife. She climbed out of bed and headed for the showers. When she returned it was seven and she still had time before breakfast. She took the knife from underneath her pillow and stared it, twirling it in her hand. But she still felt no urge to cut and she still felt no weight on her heart. She let out a sigh filled with both relief and frustration. She was relieved that she had found another possible way to deal with her pain. But she was frustrated that if her new way to deal with the pain worked that she would have no use for her knife. And her knife had been her best friend through out the summer and since the beginning of the year. She didn't know if she could lose her only friend and it scared her and confused her. She stuck the knife in her pocket and made a deal with herself. She would not cut for the sake of it; she would not cut just to have her friend still close to her.
The trio was already eating at the Gryffindor table when Ginny entered the great hall. She gave a quick glance at the Slytherin table and saw Draco watching her. This time not feeling any fear she made short eye contact with him and walked over to her table. She grabbed and orange and a piece of toast and sat down next to Hermione. Once again the trio had not bothered to acknowledge her presence among them but continued talking as if she was not there at all. They were all talking animatedly about their upcoming tests and homework assignments, which Ginny could care less about. But she still payed a small amount of attention just in case one of them noticed her existence and bothered to say something. But as always no one noticed and Ginny finished her breakfast with the same silence she had sat down with.
As breakfast ended and Ginny left the great hall she noticed Draco in the corridor and walked over to him.
"Good morning. Did you sleep well last night?" he asked pleasantly.
"Yes I did, as a matter of fact," she replied with the same pleasant voice.
"Well, that's good. I was wondering if you wanted to spend sometime together and talk, maybe this week?" he asked.
"Sure, that sounds great. How about tomorrow night in the astronomy tower?" she replied.
"Okay. See you then," Draco said and left to his classes. Ginny continued down the corridor with a smile on her face.
0+0+0+0+0+0
Her morning classes had been somewhat decent. So far the day was going good for her, especially since she felt no urge to cut. She had also managed to not get yelled at in potions. She was even amazed by it, hoping her luck would stay. Ginny had decided to skip lunch since she didn't feel very hungry. She walked into the common room and saw Hermione sitting on the couch. Not saying anything, she headed up to her room, but stopped when Hermione spoke.
"Hey Ginny, wait up," Hermione called. Ginny turned around, this probably wasn't good. Hermione only spoke to her when she wanted to know something or did know something.
"Hey Hermione," she said faintly.
"I, uh, I wanted to talk to you real quick. Do you want to sit down?" Hermione said gesturing to the couch.
"Alright," Ginny said with a sigh and followed her to the couch.
"I wanted to talk to you before Ron came up here and went ballistic," she started off, " I, umm, I saw you talking to Malfoy after breakfast and I wanted to know why you were."
"And you told Ron?" Ginny squealed.
"Yea, and Harry too. I mean they have a right to know," Hermione said pointedly.
Ginny grew quick with anger. She was angry that Hermione had seen her and Draco in the first place but was even angrier at the fact that she just had to tell Ron and Harry. Did all three of them want to make he life even more miserable?
Ron and Harry came hurrying into the common room and walked straight up to the couch.
"Virginia, why were you talking to the ferret this morning," Ron questioned trying to hold back the anger in his voice. She winced when he used her full first name, it always meant he was angry. But her anger came back quickly when she heard him call Draco 'ferret'.
"What's it to you?" She said coldly.
"Don't give me that attitude, Virginia. I'm your brother and your protector and I have a right to know why you were conversing with the enemy," he said with anger in his voce. He then shouted when she gave no reply, "Tell me now!"
"I don't have to tell you shit," she snarled, "You may be my brother but your not my protector and you certainly haven't been when I needed protection the most."
"Ginny-" Harry started, but she cut him off.
"No, don't give me that Potter! Maybe it's just me, but it seems that only when you think I need saving you come to my rescue. Or maybe it's just that not enough people are worshipping you, so you have to save someone just to get back in the spotlight. I can see it all in your eyes, you don't care about me, all you care about is the fame and glory. Well you can take your precious fame and glory and shove it up your ass because I don't need your help and I don't need you to rescue me!" Ginny snapped.
"Ginny, why can't you just see that we don't want you to get hurt?" Hermione asked as Ginny turned to leave.
"I'm already hurting but you three idiots can't see it. No, you can't because you're already too wrapped in yourselves to see anything," Ginny said angrily.
"Please, Ginny. Please don't turn your back on us. All we want to do is help you with whatever problem you're having," Harry begged.
"Oh, so I have a problem now?" Ginny replied sarcastically," You know, all three of you are the knights in shining in armor waiting to rescue a damsel in distress from the dragon. The famous and wonderful trio. But you're all too caught up in each other to see that I'm hanging of the cliff by one hand. And when I fell from the cliff, who saved me? The dragon did."
With that Ginny ran to her room and slammed the door. Tears were slipping down her cheeks as she tried to force them to leave.
"Strong girls don't cry. Strong girls don't cry. Strong girls don't cry," she repeated again and again but the tears wouldn't cease. She felt her breath leave and her surroundings speed by. She quickly grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote:
Draco,
I've changed my mind. Meet me tonight in the astronomy tower.
-Ginny
She quickly attached it to her owl and sent it off. Ginny then took the knife from her pocket. She wasn't going to cry because she was strong. She wasn't going to cry because the knife would bleed for her.
A/N: Ron, Harry and Hermione get closer to finding out about Ginny but they are still completely clueless. Well this chapter is longer than the one before and I hope you all are happy with it. Tell me what you think!