Pan, Elaine, and the Insane Elf

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this fic, I wouldn't want to own anyone either, except Gwian, I'm pretty intent on Gwian.

Erik looked as the shipped flew towards 'Neverland'. "Oh, Captain!" Erik said inching his way towards the pirate, "Why is it so, so small, after all, I always heard that 'Neverland' was a dream come true. But my dream is to have a house like everybody else, and to have a wife like everybody else, and to take her out on Sundays." James blinked, "To take her out on Sundays?" Erik nodded proudly, James shook his head. "So you see," Erik continued, "This is not my dream, in fact I don't see any houses at all, and no marvelous ladies, and defiantly no, no, and none, restaurants. Like Denny's I love Denny's!" James ignored Erik for a while thinking of his master plan, Pan would want to save this unfortunate freak, and all he would have to do is tell him where he lived, simple, pure and simple. GENUIS! The boat slowly skimmed the water before stopping in the middle of the bay. James strutted up to a megaphone which was lying, very carelessly on a barrel. "Pan!" he yelled out, "I have a hostage! A helpless captive, a Hopeless prisoner! So you better come down RIGHT now and help him!" nothing happened, Erik blinked, "I'm not helpless, or hopeless." He burst into tears, "I thought you liked me!" he whined, falling to his knees he held on to the Captains coat, "I thought you thought I was witty! Funny!" He blew his nose on the fleece, "I thought you felt sorry for poor Erik!"

"Good gosh!" mumbled Hook looking at the pathetic French groveling at his not phlegm covered jacket. "PAN!" he called once more, "Rid me of this thing!" as he said this boy flew out of the trees and landed on the deck…

"Rivendell!" Jim called running ahead, "Alls well!" said Fezzick chasing after him. "Oh, H#&(&&," mumbled the fairy. Fezzick stopped.

"She swore!" Jim didn't stop.

"Who cares!" they continued running, except Blue, who flew, I can rhyme too, hehe

Rivendell was gorgeous, with the water falls and all. And they made their way to the very last house. Fezzick knocked. "Hello." Said a blonde elf, Jim was dazzled by the blonde hair, and beautiful hair. Fezzick nudged him, "Oh," he sputtered, "Lord Elrond called us, he said it was an emergency." The elf looked very relieved. "You must be here about Legolas, the fiend." Fezzick and Jim glanced at one another. "Come in, come in." they followed the grinning elf. He led them into a lovely hall, where at the end sat a frowning elf sitting glumly in his seat. "Lord Elrond." The blondey said bowing very low, "The giant, the fairy, and the human boy are here to tract down Lego…."

"Do not utter that name!" Elrond cried.

"Yes, my Lord." The latter left.

"Now," said Elrond standing up, "I have a mission that you must complete."

"Yes sir." Jim said.

"Three months ago, a hobbit of the Shire named Frodo Baggins came here with 'The Ring of Power.' I assigned nine companions to go with Frodo and destroy it. They were Aragorn son of Arathorn, Gimli son of Gloin, Bormeir sp? son of Denethor, and an evil elf, whose name I will not utter here. The other ones volunteered.

"Well I have just gotten word the elf," Elrond uttered elf with much malice, "has abandoned the Fellowship!" Blue gasped, Jim stared in horror, Fezzick bent over and muttered, "Ship." In Jim's ear.

"Yes abandoned them." Elrond continued, "He received an invitation to a convention of people with Angel Hair, but our spies have now informed us that this "Convention" is really a trick form evil Plankton, to catch all the witless chick magnets!" Elrond wiped his brow. "Well do you accept the mission?" Jim nodded.

"What's a Syen?" Enjolras asked, looking at the girl.

"What's a Syen! It's me! I'm a Syen! What the fang! You twit!" Enjolras surveyed the girl, she had dark hair and glasses, and freckles, my gosh, she was wearing shorts and a T. shirt! How scandalous! "Hey um-Enjolras?" Syen said waving her hands, "My friend Pimpernel, the author of this strange fic, asked my to stop you from jumping the Seine, because," she said wagging her finger, "That place is strictly for Javert." Enjolras was a bit speechless. "Now, I am supposed to convince that there is something good and beautiful in life. But the question is how am I going to do that with a stuck up revolutionary?" Enjolras blushed.

"Well, why don't you tell me a story where bad prevails over good?"
"Why the fang would I want to do that?" It was hard for Enjolras to explain,

"Just do it." Syen rolled her hazel eyes.
"Fine, just don't be so dumb about it. I'll tell you 'King Arthur' evil wins in the end of that right?"

Syen's style of King Arther

Once upon a time is some place, I could care less, there was some kid named Arther, that I don't remember how but he pulled some dumb sword out of some rock and he became king. Well he started the Knights of the Round Table. The were Gwian, That's pimpernel's darling, Gareth, that's Maidenhair's darling, Percival, whose Gwain's son, but he doesn't come in till later. And Kay, whose Arthur's step brother, Baylan and Ballan, who kill one another, and the idiot Lancelot. Now King Arthur is like way too long, so I'm going to tell you the story of Elaine, because then you'll know about Galahad and all that crud. Well Elaine fell in love with Lancelot, but Lancelot won't marry anyone, because he's in love with Genevieve, that's Arthur's wife. Well, Elaine pretends to be Guinevere, and…Do you know the poem 'The Lady of Shallot'? Enjolras nodded. "Well that's Elaine, well Elaine has a baby, and his name is Galahad, and he saves everyone blah, blah, blah. Couldn't I tell you Physiology for dummies instead?

"No." Enjolras said, Syen shrugged her shoulders. "Well Elaine dies of grief and is laid in a boat and washes down the river. THE END

"Wait." Enjolras said, "Is that really how it ends, she dies pinning over Lancelot?"

"Yep."

"Gosh." Enjolras said.

"What?" said Syen, "Gotta crush?"

"So what if I do!" Enjolras exploded.

"You know, you could meet her." Enjolras brightened,

"How?" Syen smiled and pulled out of her purple shorts pocket a remote control. "I stole it form Cosmo." She pulled out a little T.V. from the book bag on her shoulder, "Now she said flipping channels, "Aw, here we are." She T.V. stopped with the a beautiful girl walking on the side of the river….

Well, what do you think so far? If anyone would like to be in it, besides Syen, feel free just to ask! Maidenhair, you're coming in the next chapter darl'in!