Chapter 14 Lies
"Look here she comes now,
Bow down and stare in wonder.
Oh, how we love you,
No flaws when you're pretending.
Without the mask,
Where will you hide?
Can't find yourself,
Lost in your lies."
-Evanescence
Ginny gave a deep sigh as she looked in the mirror. Sure the dress she had chosen was beautiful, but at the moment she was having second thoughts on the ball. "No. You're going to go and for once you're going to enjoy yourself because for one night you're just pretending to be somebody else," Ginny's mind said, trying to reassure her. Ginny took another look in the mirror.
Her hair was in lose, long curls that grew a little past her shoulders, accenting her face. She hadn't bothered to put on much make up. After all she would be wearing a mask. She had put on some eyeliner and mascara to give her mask a more dramatic effect. Ginny looked down at her dress; she didn't know why she chose to wear black. Everyone else was wearing bright and vibrant colors. Black looked depressing and secretive but somehow the way it looked on Ginny made her look radiant, even more than the other bright and vibrant colors. It was a simple black dress. She didn't want anything to fancy or too frilly. She wasn't planning on getting noticed. It was a strapless black dress that fit perfectly on the top and cascaded all the way to her feet. It had a slit on the side that went a little above her knee. For her mask she decided to go simple too. The mask only covered her eyes and she held it on a wooden stick. The mask was also black but lined with silver sequence at the top and black and white feathers sticking out on one side. Most girls had decided to wear a mask that had a string to tie it to their face, but Ginny had decided to hold hers against her face to add to her dramatic effect. Although her scars weren't very noticeable against her pale skin, she didn't want to take any chances. Ginny used a simple blemish charm to hide her scars for the few hours she would be at the ball.
Ginny took a bathrobe from her trunk and wrapped it around her. She hid the mask along with her knife under her pillow and did her best to cover her black dress with the bathrobe. Her plan was to go to the common room and appear as if she wasn't attending the ball, that way the trio wouldn't look suspiciously at her. The second they left she would grab her mask and meet Draco on the sixth floor.
Ginny made her way down to the common room and plopped onto the couch. The trio was talking animatedly about the ball, as Hermione giggled at Harry's every word. It made her sick. Hermione always had this habit of giggling too much when she was around Harry, which was all the time. Ginny found it annoying and sickening, owning to the fact that it was too high-pitched and so Un-Hermione like.
She watched as they all left and quickly threw of her robe and rushed to get her mask. As she reached under her pillow and grasped the mask, her hand brushed the handle of her knife. She wished she could bring it with her but knew it would only be too noticeable under her dress. She hurriedly left the common room and headed towards the sixth floor, trying to forget her knife.
Before she knew it, Ginny was face to face with Draco.
"You look beautiful Gin," he said with a smile.
"You're not too bad either," she replied.
They walked in silence until they reached the doors to the great hall.
"You ready?" Draco asked.
"As much as I'll ever be," Ginny said with a sigh as Draco opened the door. Ginny stepped into the hall and gave a small gasp of surprise. It was beautifully decorated and almost had an early rich, eighteenth century look to it. She had been right when she guessed that she was the only one wearing black. Each girl seemed to have on a slightly different color from the next, which only added to the beauty of the room.
Draco took her arm and walked her to the drink the table.
"The worst part is over Gin. The entrance is always the worst part," he said.
"Definitely," was all she could say still staring at the beauty of the room.
"Hey Ginny, you want to dance?" Draco asked.
"Sure, I'd love to," she replied and flashed him a smile. The Weird Sisters struck up a new tune and Ginny began to dance. She held the mask close to her face and let go of everything. Ginny felt completely different, as if she was another person. She swayed with the rhythm of the music and let her emotions do their own dance. As the song ended the tune changed to a slower one and she began to slow dance with Draco.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" he whispered into her ear.
"More than I probably should, I shouldn't be here," she whispered.
"Don't say that, Gin. You deserve it. You deserve this ball more than anyone else," he said bringing her closer. The song ended and a faster tune was struck.
"Do you want to sit down?" Draco asked.
"No!" she exclaimed, "I want to dance! I want to dance!"
She spun around and gave Draco a big smile.
"Okay then. I'm going to get drinks," He said and turned around to leave.
Ginny spun around in circles again. She didn't care if she didn't have anyone to dance with all that mattered was that she danced. Draco finally returned fifteen minutes later with drinks.
"Sorry I took so long, there was a long line," he said.
"That's okay, I was having fun dancing," Ginny said as she quickly took a few sips of pumpkin juice.
"Ginny, have you been dancing this entire time?" he questioned seeing her flushed face. She gave a quick nod and began to spin again.
"Come over here, I think you need a break," Draco said grabbing her wrist.
"No Draco! Let me stay here, you can sit down if you want but I want to dance!" she exclaimed and gave a giggle.
Draco lifted an eyebrow in surprise. Ginny rarely laughed these days and if she did, it didn't sound like that. Her giggle sounded strained and forced almost as if it were covering up something else. Why was she acting strange all of the sudden? Draco pondered this as he went to set the drinks down. When he turned around he noticed Ginny making her way slowly through the crowd trying to find a new place to dance.
Ginny was starting to a feel an ache creep into her calf and her feet were hurting terribly. But she forced herself to keep laughing and keep on dancing. She suddenly stopped when she heard whispers.
"Isn't that Ginny Weasley?"
"Wow, she actually looks pretty for once."
"What is she doing here?"
"Is that Ginny?" Ron asked as he saw a redheaded girl in a black dress.
"I think so," replied Harry.
Then something hit her. It was worse than being invisible and it was worse than the cutting she had to deal with, It was the worst emotional pain she had ever felt. People were noticing her because she was pretending to be something she wasn't. She wasn't Ginny Weasley anymore, but someone completely different. Ginny felt ugly and disgusting. They notice her now? They notice her now when she gives off fake smiles and laughs and dresses as beautifully as she can? But they can't notice her when the pain is truly showing and every inch is eating away at her? Ginny began to feel lightheaded. Her breath was caught in her chest and her surroundings began to speed by again. Then she saw them all. They were all laughing as she stumbled to the floor and tried to lift herself up only to fall back up again. She fled the great hall as fast as she could and ran to her common room. She needed her knife. Only her knife could take away her dirty and hopeless feeling.
Draco watched horrified as Ginny stumbled through the crowd and out of the great hall. He jumped up and forced his way out of the crowd, but it took him a good five minutes to get out of the great hall. If he thought she was going to the astronomy tower with her knife she would have a five-minute start. Draco knew Ginny had to go back to Gryffindor to retrieve her knife and that would give him a little more time to catch up with her. He knew she wasn't stupid enough to cut in her room on this night, especially since all of the younger grades would be dining in their houses.
Ginny reached the common room and ran upstairs. She didn't bother to take a break even though she couldn't breath and her legs felt as if they were on fire. She hastily grabbed her knife from beneath her pillow and ran out of the common room. No one noticed. She urged herself to the astronomy tower; just a few more steps and the pain on her heart would be relieved. On the last step she slipped and tore the bottom half of the dress, scraping her knee. But she payed no notice and pushed herself up once again. Ginny pushed the tiny button on the handle and watched as the knife slid out. She looked at it as her knife gleamed in the moonlight and then watched as it slid across her arm leaving a trail of blood.
Ginny cut at her arms again going over cuts that had been made recently and old scars. She tore at the bottom of her dress so she could find more skin to heal the pain. As she cut she couldn't help but feel dirty and pathetic. She felt the lies surround her. Each and every lie. This whole ball had been a lie. It wasn't her and when she figured it out she had panicked. She should have never gone, but at the time she hadn't seen it for the lie it truly was. Everyone saw her lie and had actually noticed her. That was the worst of it all; the part that made her feel worse than anything else. Once again she saw them laughing at her as her world spun by. She sliced open another scar, attempting to make the laughing stop. They were all laughing at her. Laughing at her foolishness and laughing as she tried to cut them out. But the laughter continued and all she could do was cut deeper. She didn't come back to reality until she heard someone speak.
"Ginny, don't! Stop!" Draco screamed. She appeared to be in some sort of trance. Her cuts were becoming deeper and longer.
Ginny's head snapped up and saw Draco running to her side. Instantly her eyes began to well up with tears and she quickly grabbed Draco and let her tears fall.
The instant Ginny had looked at him, he saw the tears in her eyes. He ran over and pulled her into a strong hold. At the moment he didn't care if she stained his shirt with her blood. He just wanted her to stop the cutting.
"Ginny, babe, what happened?" He asked sadly.
"It was the lie. The whole thing was a lie," she said before she burst into another fit of sobs and her body shook.
A/N: intense there at the end. The last chapter was light and now this one was dark so I'm not sure yet what I'm gunna do with the next one. Bu thanks to all of my wonderful reviewers, you guys make my day!