Chapter 15 Lost
"I hold my
breath as this life starts to take its toll
I hide behind a smile
as this perfect plan unfolds
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied
to
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved
And I
I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of
all I have created
I'm longing to be lost in you
Away from this
place I have made
Lost in a dying world I reach for something more
I
have grown so weary of this lie I live"
-Evanescence
Ginny awoke with a start to the sound of a loud knock on her door. She wearily stood up and looked down at her clothing. The night before she had been to exhausted from the crying and cutting to change out of her dress. When she had finally returned to her room she had walked straight to her bed and crawled under her covers.
She walked over to her mirror and looked at herself. Her hair was very frizzy and all of her makeup was smeared from the crying. She noticed the tear in her dress and saw the cut on her knee. She instantly felt guilty. Luna had done her a wonderful favor by helping her buy the dress, and what had Ginny done? She'd gone and ripped it the first night she wore it. Another loud knock sounded at the door.
"Ginny," said the voice and Ginny recognized it as Hermione's, "I know you don't want to talk to me, but you've got a letter for you from your mum and I'd rather not slip it under the door."
"Alright. I'll be there in a minute," Ginny muttered. She walked over to the door and opened it, snatching the letter from Hermione.
"Ginny I saw you at the ball with Draco and-," but Hermione's voice was cut off when Ginny slammed the door in her face. She wasn't in the mood to hear one of Hermione's idiotic lectures. She walked over to her bed and sat down, tearing open the envelope.
My Dearest Ginny,
I know it is a little soon to write you a letter, being that it's just the start of November. I decided to write and tell you that you need to come home for Christmas. Your brother, Harry, and Hermione are coming back and I would like for you to return with them too. You already know how much it would upset Stephan if you didn't return and I miss seeing my little Gin. I wrote this letter in advance so it would have time to sink in. It would upset Stephan very much if you didn't come home for the holidays. And we both know it isn't good to upset your stepfather. I know you dread coming home because of what happens here, but things are changing. Stephan is a good man and he deeply cares for you. You're very special to the both us and it would mean a lot if you returned for the holidays, especially to me. I also heard you attended the Masquerade Ball. Good for you Ginny. It shows that nothing can get you down and nothing can stop you from enjoying yourself. Ron said you seemed to be having a lovely time, so I hope you enjoyed yourself. I love you dearly and miss you very much. Please take into consideration my request and come home for the holidays.
Love,
Mum
Ginny stared at the letter in shock. How could her mother even think of asking her to come home? Didn't she know that was the last place she wanted to be? She had planned to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays even though it meant spending a lot of time alone. She'd rather be at Hogwarts by herself than deal with the beatings and be surrounded by others. But she knew she would have to return. If she didn't go with the trio, Stephan would surely come and come up with some lame excuse to drag her home. Ginny gave a deep sigh. When had everything become so difficult?
She remembered the days before Hogwarts where she would play outside with her brothers. They would let her play Quidditch with them and would always let her win.
She remembered planning pranks with Fred and George to get back at another brother for something they had done. She remembered running up to her father everyday when he returned from work and giving him the biggest hug. Her father had always laughed as he swooped her up in his arms, giving her a big kiss on her cheek. She remembered listening to the tales her older brothers told of their adventures at Hogwarts. She remembered that she couldn't wait to join them in school.
When had everything changed? When had she become lost to everyone? That's when her horrible memories from the chamber flashed before her eyes. No one knew what had really happened down in the chamber, except that The Great Harry Potter had killed the Basilisk and saved pathetic Virginia Weasley's life. No one had bothered to ask what had happened before Harry had showed up, and that remained one of the darkest secrets she held.
Flashback
Ginny was huddled up against a statue shaped as a snake. She had just been taken to this chamber by none other than Tom. He had betrayed her; her first friend and the one she loved betrayed her. All she could do was cry. She was to scared to run away. She knew Tom would just stop her and hit her again. Would anyone see that she wasn't there? Would anyone save her? With each passing minute Ginny's fear increased.
"Stand up Girl," Said Tom with a cold voice. He began to beat her as her cries of pain echoed across the chamber. She sunk to the floor barely concious. She prayed for death to take her right then and end all her pain. The pain was unbearable and her fear only made everything worse.
"What are you crying for, filth? This is nothing compared to what will happen to you soon enough. But I think I'll wait just a little longer. Your precious savior Potter will be here soon enough and after I kill him you'll be my little prize. Maybe if you're any better than the other little girls I'll keep you alive a little longer. God only knows you need to be taught a lesson you little whore," Tom said with a cruel laugh.
Ginny let out another sob. How could something like this happen to her? But she could no longer think as a fist came flying at her face and black filled her eyes.
End flashback
That was when she had become lost. At the age of just eleven she had turned into the invisible and worthless girl she still was at the age of sixteen. Ginny choked back a few tears. Her thoughts ran for her knife, but she held off. She had cut too much last night and she had become mentally and physically weak from it. Instead she got and put on a black pair of pajama bottoms and then pulled on a gray sweater. She tied to tame her frizzy hair with a comb and then tied it back into a ponytail. She put on some slippers, grabbed her wand and the letter. She didn't care if Hermione would try to stop her, she was going to see Draco and no one would keep her from it.
As Ginny entered the dungeons she realized she didn't know the password to Draco's room. She knew where it was but knew she would have difficulty getting in. She walked over to the portrait that led to his room and stood there for a few moments. "Draco probably isn't her anyway," she thought. When she turned around to leave the portrait opened and Draco stepped out.
"Ginny what are you doing here?" he asked.
"I came to talk to you and show you something," she said quietly.
"You're lucky no Slytherins saw you. They would have your head for even being in the dungeons," Draco said as he quickly urged her inside.
She took as seat on his bed and waited for him to join her.
"What is it you wanted to show me?" he asked as he sat down. Ginny took the letter from her pocket and handed it to him without saying anything. He took the letter with a serious expression.
"And she still wants you to come home after everything he's done?" he said.
"Yes," Ginny replied sadly, "and if I don't go home he'll just come here and make up some excuse to take me away. I don't have a choice."
"And what do you think is going to happen when you get home? Do you think the beatings will just stop? By the time you get home he'll have had no one to beat for three months. All his anger would have been kept inside and he going to unleash it on you the second you step foot in that house." Draco said with worried eyes.
"I know, Draco. But what other choice do I have? I've got no where else to go, she said, "but at least I can still write you letters while I'm gone, right?"
"Well actually my father is making me go home for the holidays as well. He keeps a close watch on me and it would be practically impossible to talk to you without getting caught. I'm sorry, Gin, I really am." He said as regret washed over his face.
"Oh," was all Ginny could say as an even deeper sadness washed over her. Without Draco to help her she would turn back to her knife for comfort. She didn't want to go back to her knife. She didn't want to wash away the little progress she had made.
"Lets try not to think about it right now Gin. It's still a month away. Lets just enjoy the little time we have," Draco said as he pulled into a close hug.
Ginny had stayed in his arms for over an hour. They had mostly sat in a comfortable silence but managed to talk about a few things.
"I think I should go now. Somebody will have noticed why you aren't out of your room yet," Ginny said. But the instant she left Draco's arms she felt all the cold and sorrow rush back into her heart. Draco got up and walked her to the portrait. As they both walked outside he gave her one last hug.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Ginny," he whispered and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. Ginny turned around with a small blush rising in her cheeks. She touched the spot he had kissed almost if to savor the feeling. She had been lost for a long time, but when she was with Draco she wasn't lost at all.
A/N: some more painful memories for Ginny in the beginning. And yes finally the Draco/Ginny romance is starting to form. Its not a lot but still something. I know I'm updating again rather quickly, but I prefer writing for you all instead of doing my homework. I hope you all enjoyed it!