"Fake smiles and silent screams
I only live
inside my dreams
Put on a face to hide my pain
watch my blood
run down the drain
tell myself everything will be alright
and
wipe away the tears at night
unnoticed in the back of the
crowd
I'll hide in my invisible shroud
Put on a show and
smile wide
so much to cover up, so much to hide
if it makes you
happy, I'm fine, I'm okay
I'll just hide all of my pain
away."
Ginny awoke with a small smile. It was the day before she would return to Hogwarts and to Draco. She pushed back her covers and walked to her closet. She grabbed a pair of jeans, a white tee shirt and a black zip up sweater.
As she began to change she thought about the past days. Stephan had avoided her at all costs. He almost seemed in fear, but Ginny knew better. He was just holding off, waiting for her guard to go down and then he would go after her. But no matter what she would be ready to face him. Her mother had appeared extremely happy over the Holidays. She had truly begun to believe that everything Stephan did to Ginny was over. Although when she saw Ginny's hair she had panicked. Ginny made a quick lie and told her mother that she wanted to change her hair but it didn't go as planned. Molly reassured her that Ginny's hair would be back to normal in no time. She gave her a hair re-growth potion and in a matter of two days her hair was back to its normal length.
Ginny walked over to her bed and grabbed her knife from under the pillow. She put it in the pocket of her sweater but gave a slight frown. The pocket wasn't deep enough. It would keep the knife from being seen, but if she happened to move to quickly it would surely come out. She gave a shrug and did her best to push the knife farther into her pocket; after all, this was one of the last clean sweaters she had left in her closet.
Ginny then swept her hair into a quick ponytail and began to head to breakfast. She reached the staircase and began to hurry down the steps, if she was lucky she might get a good meal before her brothers finished it all.
As her pace quickened Ginny didn't notice as she bumped into Hermione. But she did stop dead in her tracks when she felt the weight from her pocket quickly leave. All she could do was pray that the knife didn't land on the button and that Hermione wouldn't hear as it hit the stair.
Although Ginny begged she be spared of this one incident her luck ran short. Hermione stopped at the top of the stair as she heard the deep thud and a quick whoosh as the blade escaped its handle. Hermione slowly turned around and began to walk back down the stair.
Ginny didn't turn, but kept her eyes shut tight hoping that Hermione would brush it off. She began to panic when she heard the footsteps grow nearer with each second.
Hermione gently picked up the knife and examined it.
"Gin, is this yours?" she asked with an ounce of surprise in her voice. Ginny didn't answer. Maybe if she just ignored Hermione she would drop the subject and leave.
"Gin, I asked if this was yours or not," Hermione repeated a little louder. She placed a hand on Ginny's shoulder and felt her give a slight jump. Ginny slowly turned around, but kept her eyes on the floor.
"Yes," she whispered and in an instant she grabbed the knife from Hermione and ran up the stairs. She hurriedly closed the door to her room and threw the knife under her pillow.
"Maybe she'll leave me alone," Ginny thought silently to herself. But she felt her heart speed up as Hermione gave a swift knock and entered before Ginny could speak a word.
She strode up to Ginny and looked her straight in the eyes. Ginny felt many emotions sweep over her. But out of all her feelings the worst she felt was shame. The way Hermione had looked at her made her feel ashamed for everything she had done. What did she do to deserve this?
"Ginny, show me your arms," Hermione demanded. But all she could do was nod her head "no" and back up away from her.
"I'm not playing your stupid game, Virginia. Show me your arms now," Hermione demanded with obvious anger in her voice.
"No," Ginny replied with a harsh tone. She had worked too hard to keep everything secret and she wasn't going to give in now. She wasn't going to give up without a fight.
"Stop acting like a child, Virginia," she said coldly, "I don't have time for your little games. Just show me your damn arms!"
"I – am – not – a – child," Ginny said through clenched teeth.
"Then why are you acting like a child?" Hermione snapped, "Be an adult and grow up. Its time to stop living in your fantasies and starting living in reality."
"What does growing up have to do with seeing my arms?" Ginny said with anger apparent in her voice.
"Because only a child as stupid as you would do what I think you're doing with that knife," Hermione said and made a quick grab for her arm. Ginny tried to push her back but the grip on her arm was tight. Hermione was tearing at her sleeves and before she could think of anything else her hand was flying through the air.
With a loud smack Hermione gave out a small cry and released Ginny's arm.
"I – am – not – a – fucking – child," Ginny repeated loudly and clearly just to make sure Hermione heard.
"Ginny why can't you just tell me what's wrong? I want to help. I remember you saying that you were already hurting. Please, Gin, all I want to do is help," Hermione whimpered. Ginny sneered as she saw small tears forming in Hermione's eyes. Did she think her dumb? Did Hermione actually think she was going to fall for that act?
"I don't need your help," Ginny snapped and gave another sneer.
"But Gin, I just don't get it. Why? Why are you trying to kill yourself?" Hermione asked.
Ginny's mouth dropped instantly. How could Hermione even accuse her of trying to kill herself? She didn't know anything, so how could she possibly help in the first place?
"Fuck your help," Ginny whispered as tears formed in her eyes. She grabbed the knife from under her pillow and ran into the bathroom.
At the moment she could care less if Hermione told her entire family. She just needed to be alone with her knife. Ginny rolled up her sleeves and looked at her pale skin. She felt disgusted, ashamed, and filthy. She hated Hermione for finding out her secret. She hated her for ruining what was once just hers and would never be again.
"One last time, just one last time" was all Ginny could keep thinking as she slid the blade across her skin. Her knife would save her one last time, one last time before her precious world was stolen from her.
A/N: I know, very short chapter. But I didn't want to put too much in this one. So now that Hermione knows I wonder what will happen next?