Chapter 6- Oh gods, a Gusher

-

Blaise floated dreamily into the Great Hall. Her feet may have touched the ground, but her thoughts were languorously lifted into another realm, one where she and Terry were in each other's arms. Gliding by the Gryffindor table, her eyes met those of a freckle-faced, red-haired Gryffindor boy. Blaise, feeling at peace with the world, waggled her fingers in greeting and smiled while she passed. In her wake, she heard a cry of pain.

"Crikey, Hermione, why d'ya hit me with that ruddy book?"

"Oh, dear. Did I accidentally nudge you with One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi? I was trying to show Harry what Gillyweed looks like in its natural state. So sorry, Ronald."

Gryffindors might be brave, but they sure aren't subtle, Blaise thought.

Her smile widened when she met the dazzling blue eyes of the cleverest Ravenclaw with the most talented lips in the entire school. She gave Terry a look that could have heated his hot chocolate. She slowed when she approached, using her schoolbag as a screen to run her fingers across the ends of his silky hair. He shivered. Blaise smirked. That's how you do subtle, Ms. Granger.

Of course, subtle to a Gryffindor was anything but to a Slytherin like Draco. He watched her slide into place beside him, raising a pale brow in amusement. She grinned. How quickly they'd grown accustomed to sitting together. Too bad they never had the idea to spend their meals plotting and prodding one another before.

"Picked up a new Boot, Zabini?"

After eating for a few moments in silence to punish the amused wretch for his impertinence, she decided what was good for the Nag was good for the Nagina, and jibed, "How are those dishpan hands, Malfoy?"

His eyes narrowed into grey slits. "What's a dishpan?"

"Muggles use them when they have to wash dishes by hand."

Pursing chiselled lips in an adorable pout, Draco silently showed her his hands, palms up. They were red and roughened from his labour during detention.

Blaise slanted a glance over to a table where a fiery-haired girl was staring back with a Slytherin-like sneer. Ginny had heard about their detention and was gloatingly pleased about it. Miss Weasley's eyes were a bit too brown this morning.

Blaise turned her attention back to the boy beside her after a sideways glance in another direction. Terry was concentrating on his breakfast. She gave Draco a meltingly sympathetic look while reaching into her robes for a vial. Placing it on the table, she took Malfoy's hands in hers. After another check assured the Ravenclaw coast was clear, she tenderly placed a kiss on each palm. Ignoring lips now twitching with warped enjoyment, Blaise uncorked the vial and poured the liquid onto his palms.

While massaging sore skin, Blaise cooed breathily, "Poor baby...how could mean old Snape endanger these talented hands?" Dropping the act, she said, "I asked Lorelei for a potion after I finished detention. It's supposed to work quickly. How do you feel now?"

Draco smiled. A real smile and not the superior smirk that usually passed for one. Girls all over the Hall sighed.

Blaise snuck a peek at the Gryffindor table. Ginny had sighed, and then promptly scowled.

Draco raised his hands. They were restored to pale perfection. In gratitude, he kissed Blaise on the cheek.

Blaise's next peep confirmed Ginny hadn't liked that. A peek in the other direction made her heart jolt. Terry was watching, and he hadn't liked what he'd seen either. He was glaring and moving his lips as if preparing to utter a jinx. She groaned inwardly. How could the situation get worse?

Immediately, Blaise regretted tempting the heavens. A familiar black owl swooped down from the rafters to drop a letter in front of her. The black stationary was addressed in her mother's bold handwriting. Something about the envelope was causing her breath to catch in her throat. Edina had used one of those before, when someone got engaged.

Draco asked, "Why the look of terror, did mumsie send you a Howler?"

Biting her lip in dread, Blaise looked at Terry in anguish, and then pressed her lips together to hold back a sob of distress. "I wish it was a Howler, but it's worse--much worse--than that. It's a Gusher!"

The black missive unfolded and an arch, plummy voice rang out piercingly, drawing attention from every table. Students listened in hushed expectation.

Sweetie, darling! I just popped back from my crystal reading, where Cissy and I ran into Patsy Parkinson, and she told us she's heard you and Draco are quite the item. Well, am I sorry I ever doubted you. I should have known when you wanted new clothes that there was a reason. I'm thrilled!

Of course, bloody, bollocky, selfish, two-faced, piggy Patsy says it won't last, but Cissy tells me she had a prophetic dream, darling, that you and Draco were going to get married, so we're forgiving Patsy her little snit. Out with anger, in with love, and all that....

You're a fabulous, wonderful girl, and I'm sure dear Draco thinks so too. All right, cheers, I'm so happy for you, darling!

Only 'dear Draco's' firm grip on her arm kept Blaise seated during the horrid Gusher's excited recitation of her mother's message. Laughter filled the Hall while the envelope exploded into a shower of black confetti. Blaise wanted to jump to her feet and dash from the Hall to escape the ridicule pouring from every side. She couldn't make herself look to see what Terry's reaction was.

Beside her, Draco assumed an arrogant expression, loudly saying, "Merlin, Blaise, was your mother sober?" His disgust was so convincing, she could have kissed sneering lips in thankfulness.

"Sober...no chance of that... Edina and Narcissa only patronise that Gazer to drink her elderberry wine." Blaise thought she did a good job at copying the disdain in Malfoy's tone.

He drawled, "I suppose we'll be exchanging vows if we don't watch it."

"Just remember I'm partial to emeralds if you go looking at rings, Draco darling."

He smirked. "Of course, you fabulous, wonderful, girl."

Grateful beyond words, she asked, "Care to walk your future wife to her first class?"

Draco sneered at the Ravenclaw table. "I don't see anyone else offering."

Blaise refused to look anywhere other than the face of the only boy who had stood up for her when she needed it most. Lips trembling, she smiled her thanks, placing her hand in his as they walked toward the doors of the Hall. Following Draco's lead, she strolled casually, pretending they weren't being pointed to, that she didn't hear the gossip and laughter.

At the door, Draco paused and asked in an impudent voice that carried to the nearby tables, "So, do I get to kiss the bride?"

Blaise forced a giggle, knowing those who heard the last question would quickly tell their friends. She hoped it would hurt Terry to hear the speculation.

-

-

The Gryffindor table was abuzz with rumours about the Slytherin couple. Refusing to participate in gossip, Ginny bent her head and mechanically ate her breakfast. Beside her, Colin tilted his head to gaze concernedly. "Are you all right?"

"Sure, Colin, I'm just hungry." To prove her point, Ginny stuffed a slice of melon into her mouth and almost choked.

"Yeah...sure," he said doubtfully, pounding Ginny's back and peering into her downcast face. "So, what do you think about that scene with Zabini and Malfoy?"

"I don't think anything. I don't care what those two do. They can go pick out china patterns this weekend for all I care."

Colin looked unusually serious. "I'd have thought you of all people would recognise Slytherin sarcasm when you heard it. Malfoy was obviously trying to blow off that Gusher thing from Blaise's mother." He ruefully admitted, "It was rather well done of him."

"Well done! Implying her mother was drunk, walking Blaise to class because no one else offered..." Ginny's indignant speech trailed away as she scanned the Hall and found Terry Boot.

The tall boy had just grabbed another student by his robes threateningly. Letting go with a shove and an angry shake of his head, Terry snatched his gear and stormed out. His fellow Ravenclaws immediately began whispering.

"Looks like Terry wishes he'd offered to escort Blaise, too."

"What do you mean too?" Ginny demanded incredulously.

Colin's fair skin turned pink as he revealed, "I wanted to jump up and tell Blaise I'd walk her to class, but everyone was staring and..."

"Why would you want to help a Slytherin?"

Colin's lips turned up. "Blaise has always been decent to me, never pushing me into a wall or tripping me up and mocking me for being a Potter fan like the rest of them do." He confessed, "I had a crush on her a few years back. I heard Fiona Flint talking to her about the Yule Ball once, walking behind them in the corridor to the Hall." Colin smiled sheepishly. "I blurted out that I'd go with Blaise if she wanted."

"Oh Merlin...you never breathed a word all this time...what happened?"

"Well, Flint told her not to 'encourage a grotty Gryffindor' but Blaise was actually nice, in a Slytherin way."

Ginny poked Colin in the ribs, hard. "Go on."

Smiling in reflection, he said, "Blaise looked me up and down, smiling this half smile that was really..." Stopping to clear his throat, the blushing boy continued, "Anyway, she said, 'If I wanted to go to the stupid ball, and I was in the pit of despair because no Slytherin asked me to go with them, and I was able to bear the thought of being seen with someone younger, and shorter--and I could lower myself enough to consider a bloody Gryffindor--it would be you Creevey.'"

Listening to the moony-eyed remembrance, Ginny had to admit the letdown was pretty nice, for a Slytherin.

Damn. Maybe Zabini is one of the few decent people in her House. If that's true, what is she doing with Malfoy? Ginny, struck by a thought, looked at Colin. What if he wanted me to pretend I liked him to get another girl's attention? Would I do it? Yeah, I would. But I wouldn't flash him or let him touch me however and whenever he wanted and act like I enjoyed it so bloody much! She thought of Draco. What if he looked like Malfoy, though...oh gods...

Colin was regarding her with amused bewilderment. "You had quite a conversation with yourself, shaking your head yes and no and yes again. What were you thinking about?"

Ron said, "She was probably thinking how hilarious to see Slytherins getting what they've had coming to them for years--couldn't happen to a nicer couple. OW!" Ron's glee was cut short by a blow to his arm by an extremely heavy bag of books wielded by a girl with flashing eyes.

"Sorry again, Ronald. Perhaps Ginny was thinking the same thing I was, that Malfoy was gallantly saving Blaise from embarrassment and how sad he's more the gentlemen than you are." Nose in the air, Hermione left the Hall.

Ron sputtered, "Gallant...Malfoy gallant...what is gallant anyhow?"

Rising to her feet, Ginny gave him a cool look and said crisply, before following her friend, "I'd tell you to get a dictionary, but I know you wouldn't, so I'll clue you in. Gallant means chivalrous- courteous to women. It's a quality you lack sorely, Ronald."

-

-

The course of true love never did run smooth, Luna mused as she entered Muggle Studies that afternoon. Blaise hadn't appeared at lunch or met her afterwards. It had been just her and Gregory the Smarmy, waiting in vain. Luna had drawn a moustache on his upper lip to relieve boredom whilst she waited. She made herself leave before she gave into the temptation to darken his eyebrows.

Luna gave Blaise a searching look when she walked past. The girl must have used some of her Siren cosmetics, because no one would be able to tell that she'd ever been the least upset...perhaps a Complexion Charm?

Blaise smiled half-heartedly in response to her concerned look and slipped a note into Luna's hand. After taking her seat, she opened the note to read,

L,

Sorry I left you alone with Gregory, spent lunch holed up desperately scrambling through cosmetic kit for charms to make me look something other than total crap. I now love and hate my mother. Can we meet same time tomorrow?

B

Covertly checking to ensure Beatrice-Ginevra was looking the other way, Luna curved her lips conspiratorially at the girl behind her. She was happy to get a conspiratorial smirk in return.

Turning around, she observed Hands listening in satisfaction to an unfortunate boy stammering his way through his recitation of Act III of Much Ado About Nothing.

The professor's gaze met hers and gleamed maliciously. "Tell us, Ms. Lovegood, which portion of the ladies' speech do you find most effective in championing their cause for turning Beatrice's affection to Benedick?"

You horrid little man, I was staring at you the entire time. Well, at that pudding stain on your shoulder any rate.

Determinedly serene, Luna replied airily, just to see Hands' lips tighten in irritation, "Oh I suppose the part that goes...But nature never framed a woman's heart of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice; disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her eyes, misprising what they look on, and her wit values itself so highly that to her all matter else seems weak: she cannot love nor take no shape nor project of affection, she is so self endeared."

The Professor nodded brusquely and said, "What struck you, Ms. Zabini?"

Luna noticed Ginny turning to watch Blaise, who said trippingly enough to make the Bard proud, "So she turns every man the wrong side out and never gives to truth and virtue that which simpleness and merit purchaseth."

Abruptly, Ginny turned away from the girl's challenging stare. The professor, disappointed in his hope of needing to belabour a point due to student incomprehension, picked on a nervous girl who didn't know what she thought about anything except having to use the toilet. Hands excused her cheerfully and spent the rest of the class explaining what Shakespeare really meant in Act III.

Afterwards, the two matchmakers stayed behind for a moment. Breaking the awkward silence, Blaise said, "We have caught her, madam."

Luna caught the reference and grinned before replying, "If it proves so, then loving goes by haps: some cupids kill with arrows, some with traps."

-

-

Scowling at his plate of bland food, chosen according to Snape's warning about the stomach churning nature of tonight's detention, Draco was thoroughly put out. He looked at the empty seat beside him and then glared evilly at the one responsible for hurting his friend and causing her to skip two meals in succession. The girly-haired boy gazed defiantly back at him. Draco curled his lip.

Oh, so now you've developed a spine, eh? Where was your backbone this morning, Boot? It wasn't you getting Blaise out of that mess, now was it? You didn't dry her tears, did you? Are you jealous I've got the bollocks you lack, coward? You'll get yours Terry-Boy, just you wait.

'Terry-Boy' turned back to his dinner, apparently realising the impossibility of out-staring a Slytherin. Draco sneered at the craven's back before picking at his own food once more.

"Is Blaise...okay...about...this morning?"

Malfoy refused to speak to the pug-faced daughter of 'Piggy Patsy' Parkinson.

Never tiring of her exercises in futility, Pansy simpered, "Should I go and try to comfort her?"

Inexplicably, Draco's gaze locked with the velvety brown eyes of Ginny Weasley. Weaselette didn't glare, sneer or challenge his stare. Instead, she looked like she...admired him?

Enraged by the feeling of warmth that soft approbation gave, he rose and disdainfully threw his serviette onto the table. He answered Pansy's question in a carrying voice dripping cold insinuation, all the while freezing Red's melting look with one of ice. "I've already comforted Blaise earlier, probably why she's too tired to eat. Thanks for reminding me, Pansy. It's time I go up and comfort her again."

Perversely satisfied by the hurt reflecting in Ginny's eyes and the sight of three Ravenclaws holding back an enraged Terry-Boy, he paused by the youth struggling to break free. Sneering tauntingly, Draco's eyes mocked the other boy's efforts to have at him. Crabbe and Goyle lumbered over, grins of expectation creasing their broad faces. Half the Ravenclaw Quiddich team forcibly dragged Boot away.

Slytherin, dark laughter caused silly girls to shiver happily. Sweeping out of the Hall, minions cracking knuckles in anticipation following behind, Draco headed toward the kitchen to find his friend something to eat.

-

A/N: Eddy and Cissy aren't Eddy and Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, but there are--hopefully amusing--similarities in characterisation, and the 'Gusher' was filled with favourite bits of phrases gleaned from the show. :D