Bleeding Soul and Silent Screams

Chapter 21 Portkeys and Secrets

"I took their smiles and I made them mine.
I sold my soul just to hide the light.
And now I see what I really am,
A thief, a whore, and a liar.
I run to you,
Call out your name,
I see you there, father away.

I'm numb to you. Numb and deaf and blind.
You give me all but the reason why.
I reach but I feel only air at night.
Not you, not love, just nothing."

-Evanescence

It had been three weeks and Hermione was becoming anxious. Ginny hardly ever left her room in the past weeks, only to come to one meal a day. She attended her classes, but barely participated in any of the class work. She hadn't spoken once, to anyone, in three weeks.

"Luna, when are you going to talk to Gin?" Hermione asked as she walked up to the Ravenclaw.

"I've tried Hermione, I've really tried," she said wit ha sigh, "but I barely see her these days and when I do, she seems to disappear before I get the chance to talk to her. I'll try to talk to her today, but I can't be sure I'll even see her."

"Don't worry, you will see her today. I promise you that," Hermione said with a small smile.

If Ginny wasn't going to leave Gryffindor Tower, then Hermione would just have to bring Luna up there herself.

"Meet me outside the great hall before lunch, okay?" she said.

"Alright," Luna replied with a small amount of hesitation in her voice.

Ginny had been pacing her room, contemplating if she should attend lunch or not. She sat on her bed and decided against leaving the room, she didn't want to feel Hermione's eyes on her or his. He still watched her from across the hall, just like he had in the beginning of the year. She didn't want to make contact into his silver orbs for she knew she would once again lose herself in them.

Ginny felt a wave of emotion sweep over her. Just like the others before, she didn't understand the feeling it gave her. Was it love? Hate? Anger? Fear? What ever this feeling was, it consumed her each time and left her only in confusion. She only wished she could cut it away.

"No, don't think like that," Ginny tells herself. She has been cut free for three weeks. Three weeks of unbearable emotional pain, agony, and torture with nothing to relieve it. The knife that was once kept in her pocket or underneath her pillow now lies at the bottom of her trunk, covered in a thin layer of dust. Every glitter of light she sees, she longs for her knife. The feeling of control; control over her emotions, control over her pain, it gives her such a feeling of power. The power to choose how much pain she releases with each cut.

"Don't think like that, Gin, don't think like that," she tells herself again. But she's been thinking like that for three weeks. She's been longing to release all of her pain for three weeks. But she feels a small amount of pride. A pride that lets her run her hand across her arms and legs without feeling the ugly scabs that once covered them. Now all that's left are thin, long scars, barely visible against her pale skin.

She runs her fingers over the scar on her wrist. It's almost completely healed, but she can still tell that the skin there is weak. It's not like the others; instead it's wide and deep and a constant reminder of what happened. Each time she runs her fingers over it she feels the pain it released, only to make her wish for her knife again.

"I'm going to fight this, with or without Draco's help. I'm going to come out strong," she tells herself. As the thought passes through her mind once more she feels a strength she's never felt before. The strength to keep fighting, to not give up, to live through her problems without hiding behind her knife.

She no longer cares about the opinions of others or whether they see her scars. For the past week she's gone to bed in shorts and a tee shirt with nothing to cover her scars. She no longer tugs at her robes or wears long sleeve shirts. She's not afraid if they ask because she knows they won't. They never noticed her before, why start now?

She's not proud of what she did three weeks ago, but she proud that she isn't living in fear anymore. "You're strong Ginny, and this time it's true. You don't have to comfort yourself anymore with that lie because now you know its true," she thinks to herself. Ginny sits on her bed, arms wrapped around her knees, with a smile of strength and triumph.

Hermione waits but the doors to the great hall gently tapping her foot. She gives a small smile as Luna approaches.

"Come on, let's go," Hermione said pulling Luna's wrist.

"Where exactly are we going?" asks Luna.

"To Gryffindor Tower, I know she's there. Every else is at lunch so you both can talk. Trust me, it will work," she replied at the look of suspicion of the Ravenclaw's face.

As they reached the Fat Lady's portrait Hermione quietly whispers the password.

"Alright, I'm pretty sure she is in her room. Good luck," Hermione said.

Luna made her way up the staircase to the Girl's Dorms and enters the room without a knock.

"Luna, what are you doing here?" Ginny asked with a small amount of shock in her voice.

"Before you say anything Gin, can you let me talk and I swear I'll let you have your say," Luna replied and started again when she received a nod from Ginny.

"I'm not going to deny Hermione sent me to talk to you because she did. She says she's worried for you and so are Harry and Ron. But personally, I don't believe her. She barely paid attention to you before, and now all of the sudden she is, because of one little secret she found out. I didn't ask her because I wanted you to tell me in person. Although the golden trio might be putting on a show, I really do care what happens to you Ginny. We aren't the closest of friends but I want to understand what you're going through and do my best to help, even if I can't help that much. I'm not here to judge you because of one little secret. My opinion of you as a person won't change, I won't judge you because I'm here to be your friend."

"It's hardly a little secret," Ginny replied with a slight laugh.

"If you'd rather not talk about it, that's alright with me. Only when you're ready to talk will I ask."

"Thank you Luna."

"For what?"

"For showing me that I can trust you. So far the only person I've been able to trust is Draco and as of right now, that doesn't seem to be working. But I will tell you because I think you deserve to know the truth. You've been a loyal friend and I'm truly grateful for it. But promise me one thing."

"Yes?"

"Promise you won't tell the trio or anyone else. They don't deserve to know the truth, because they've been blind from the beginning."

"I promise with all my heart, Gin."

"Come here," Ginny said pulling Luna close to her. She released her arm from her leg and bore it out to Luna. Luna gave a small look of surprise as she gently brushed her fingertips over the scars.

"Gin, I'm so sorry. I wish I could have been there from the beginning to help you."

"Don't be sorry, I'm no longer sorry and you shouldn't be either. I've been learning to forgive myself for the pain, I've been learning to accept what happened to me isn't my fault and it never will be. I did it because—because I wanted to the pain to stop."

"I knew you wouldn't do something like this for attention. That's all Ron ever says. He says that you're a selfish spoiled brat who wants all the attention in the world," Luna replied but gave a slight gasp at what she had just said.

"It's okay, I kind of already knew that from the beginning. Ron is an ass, too caught up in himself to care. I'm surprised he even cared. But now, I suppose, is a good time to tell you what happened. It will take some time but I will tell you the truth that you deserve to know."

It took Ginny almost an hour to tell her tale to Luna. Luna felt completely horrible for Ginny as she began to say her good byes and headed toward the common room. She now saw Ginny's cutting as a release of pain and emotion that she could no longer bear. But in the end Ginny admitted that her cutting had caused more pain instead of trying to rid herself of it.

"Well, I suppose she told you. So won't you know tell me?" Hermione said quickly as she saw Luna coming down from the stairs.

"No, sorry, I can't tell you," Luna replied as she walked passed Hermione and toward the portrait.

"What do you mean you can't tell me?" she said trying to keep her anger under check. She had wait an hour in the common room only to be told that she wouldn't find anything out.

"She was right Hermione, you don't deserve to know the truth. You simply wouldn't be able to handle it. Hell, even I probably didn't deserve to hear the truth, but I've gained her trust as friend and I'm not going to break it now," Luna said sharply before leaving the common room.

Ginny silently re-read the letter she had just received moments earlier.

Ginny,

I couldn't be sorrier for how I've hurt you. What I did and what I said was wrong. I know you would have never done something like that to me. Your heart is too loyal, too loving, to betray someone as I have betrayed you.

But what can you expect from me? After all, I am but a Malfoy who knows naught the meaning of love and has never experienced. I beg your forgiveness, Ginny, and I promise to make it right. Please meet me in my private room ant 8 o'clock tonight. The password is 'Pureblood'. Please, Ginny, I want to make it up to you.

Love,

Draco

Ginny gave a warm smile as she thought of Draco. Maybe things were now changing for the better.

Draco glared daggers at the letter he had just received from his father. Although he had not opened it, he recognized him family seal immediately. He wanted so much to rip the letter to shreds, but his father would surely punish him.

Draco,

Your presence is requested at 8 o'clock tonight at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. We have much to discuss about your future plans for becoming a loyal servant of the dark lord when you graduate. Do not let me down and embarrass our family name.

Your father,

Lucius Malfoy

Draco threw the letter into the fire with a look of disgust on his face. Things were only getting worse. His father was expecting him to become a death eater and the girl he desperately loved couldn't hate him more. He fell on his bed with a thud as his thoughts remained on one Ginny Weasley.

Draco made his way across the courtyard toward the Forbidden Forest. He had almost reached the end when he was stopped by none other than Hermione Granger.

"I'm only going to ask once, Malfoy. Where is Ginny?" she said calmly.

"How should I know, Mudblood?" he asked with a sneer as he shoved past her.

"I heard her tell Luna that she was coming to see you tonight at eight o'clock. Why isn't she with you now?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know Granger," he hissed, "but I had no idea Miss Weasley would be visiting me tonight. She probably headed toward my private chambers."

Draco pushed past her once more but stopped dead in his tracks when he thought of what he had just said. She was meeting him at 8 o'clock in his private room; he was meeting his father at 8 o'clock by the forest. He had no prior knowledge of agreeing to meet with her.

"Oh shit!" He yelled as he put the pieces of the puzzle together. Draco turned and ran as fast as he could back to the school.

Ginny made her way toward Draco's room with a slight hop in her step. She could only imagine what it would feel like to be safe again in Draco's arms. She whispered the password and entered the room to find that no one was there. She searched the room but found nothing. When she turned to leave Ginny noticed a small envelope with her name written on it. She slowly made her way toward it, with curiosity in her eyes.

Draco ran toward the dungeons as fast as he could. He began to feel his legs grow heavy as he gasped for air. As he reached the portrait he ran in and saw Ginny grab the envelope.

"Ginny, no!" he yelled as he made a dive for her.

Draco felt the familiar sensation of something pulling the back of his navel. He could feel Ginny's body next to him as the rushing sound filled his ears.

With a loud thud and a soft groan Draco found himself on the cold floor of a prison cell. Ginny was at his side, but unconscious.

"Draco, so nice of you to join us."

A/N: Getting closer to the end. I know most of you probably think I'm evil for leaving you on a cliffie, but I want the next chapter to be really good! I hope you liked this one!