Withering Rose
Chapter 4
Disclaimer: same old, same old. I own nothing, except a car with a dented bumper and a crazy horse named Wally.
But he had made no effort to find her.
At least the fainting had stopped. As much as it hurt her to not see him or hear from him all summer, Ginny had to admit that her health seemed to be generally in a better condition. She was much less social now, keeping to herself most of the time in her room or in the gardens. She went to the gardens so often now, occasionally passing whole days among the flowers and under the sun. Her parents were mildly concerned, but she wouldn't admit that anything was bothering her.
No one would understand anyway, how hard it is, she thought. The way every little thing reminds me of him. This rosebush, with its beautiful flowers and sharp thorns. The small snake that silently traveled across the path that the bench she sat on was located. The way it smelled when it rained, that was his smell.
Maybe a more sensible girl would have stayed inside and away from the things that caused her the small twinges of pain every time she opened her eyes. But she didn't want to forget him, and so she let herself into the garden daily, or nightly, knowing full well how she would feel.
She couldn't understand what had changed. She had been so sure of his feelings. If she hadn't been, she wouldn't have risked everything saying that. She knew he loved her, why wouldn't he admit it? What had happened?
Ginny blamed herself now. Because of what she had to say, she had lost the most important part of her life. Watching the sun set and the stars come out, she wondered how she had even let herself begin to feel the way she did about him; he was her brother's school rival, the boy from the family that her family would never accept, the boy that saw everyone as being below himself-her friends, her family, even, she had thought, herself.
Draco thought about her more than he would admit even to himself. There were nights that he spent sleepless, wondering if she was doing the same thing. This had to be the first time in his life that he could not control himself. He willed himself to pretend as if he were in control though. He had enjoyed his rendezvous, and had not gotten caught. It would not be practical to give up the game now, now that he had made this sacrifice for his and her wellbeing. The alleged wellbeing that neither of them were enjoying at the moment.
Yet his resolve never faltered. And he had never contacted her, never sent her an owl, never flown his broom to her house, and never used a portkey or the floo network. He didn't care how much he had to suffer just so she would be protected in the long run. And in this fashion, Draco Malfoy was a very selfish person.
Author's Note: Thanks to LovingEmerald for reviewing! I've found motivation to start writing this again, and hopefully will keep the chapters coming. I love reviews, they give me a lot of encouragement since this is my first fic. Also, I really have no idea where this is going until I write it.. : ) Constructive criticism is good, as well as ideas, etc. Thanks for reading!