Chapter Six

Disclaimer: Everything is property of Joss Whedon, Marti Noxon (for the Buffy stuff) and Marta Kauffman, David Crane, and Kevin Bright (for the Friends stuff).

"Well, welcome to the Casa Del Xander," Xander announced his typical Xander style of things as he unlocked the door leading into his apartment. "It's kinda small, but it's home."

"And the ceiling fan is very attractive," Anya added in as she tossed her purse on the kitchen counter and walked over towards the refrigerator. "Want anything to eat?" she asked politely a moment later as the two guests entered the place.

"Don't eat it," Xander warned. "She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe!"

"Then let me describe it!" Monica began eagerly as she walked over towards Anya. "It's the difference between a trained chef and a lay person," she added as she quickly grabbed the cheese from the open refrigerator.

"My fiancée," Chandler announced as he sat down on the couch. "Always the competitor."

Monica turned around and gave a helpless glance over at Xander. "You can't describe Parmesan cheese?" she asked in disbelief.

"Not that cheese!" Xander exclaimed as he grabbed the cheese from Monica's hand and shoved it back into the refrigerator. "This cheese," he corrected as he wrinkled his nose in disgust, handing Monica some sort of green and moldy horror.

"One word," Monica said as she handed it back to Xander. "Really old."

"That's actually two words," Xander began as he tossed the cheese into the trashcan. He sighed heavily, ignoring Monica's glares as he turned towards Chandler. "Want a tour of the place?" he asked.

Chandler shrugged. "Think I got the gist of it. Needs a chick and a duck though."

"Well, um, Monica is it?" Anya began as she looked towards the other female. After the woman nodded, Anya continued, "Well, I can show you where the bathroom is and where you'll be sleeping."

Monica nodded as she and Anya began walking towards the bathroom. "I know you're engaged, but still just to be safe, Xander is mine and you cannot have orgasms with him!" Anya informed Monica plainly.

Monica's eyes widened slightly the same way they would when Phoebe would say something weird like that. She smiled, knowing that Phoebe and this Anya girl would probably get along great with each other. "Don't worry, I have Chandler," she assured Anya.

As soon as Anya and Monica were out of hearing distance, Xander walked over to Chandler and sat down next to him on the couch. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Chandler began as he moved back slightly away from Xander. "But my father's the gay one, not me."

Xander shook his head a little, not wanting to know the story behind that statement. "Nothing like that," he began. "But more about you and Monica."

"Like what?" Chandler asked.

"How did you know when you were ready to propose to her?" Xander asked seriously. "What was the one moment that told you that you were ready to marry her?"

"Well, I knew I loved her very much, and I knew that she was eventually going to want to get married, and she had done this crazy thing where she put her name down to hold this place for our wedding before I proposed...Anyway, after I looked at it, I knew. She was truly special and I wasn't going to let her go," Chandler said with a smile. He turned back towards Xander. "Why do you want to know?"

"Ok, you cannot tell anyone about this, least of all Anya," Xander began as he looked to Chandler for confirmation. He smiled, taking Chandler's nod as a sign that he would not tell anyone. "I'm thinking about proposing to Anya. I'm not sure exactly when, but I know I really want to."

Chandler nodded slightly. "You're going to make it," he began. "I can assure you that."

Xander smiled. "Thanks. It feels so good to get that off my chest," he said happily before frowning. "I definitely need more guy friends," he declared. "There's just too many girls. I really miss Oz."

Before Chandler could think about the Oz guy mentioned before, Anya and Monica came bursting back into the living room arguing loudly.

"It is not!" Anya yelled as she tossed some spare sheets onto the couch. "Xander is more man than Chandler will ever be! Just look at him in bed, only don't since he's my boyfriend and you're just jealous that you're boyfriend can't do the things he can!"

"Are you kidding me?" Monica asked in horror. "I made Chandler what he is!"

"Unless you can make men's penises get bigger, I stand by my statement that my boyfriend is better than yours," Anya said as she shooed Xander and Chandler off the couch so she could start putting the sheets on it.

"Anya!" Xander began as he grabbed her by the wrist, getting her attention.

"What?" Anya asked. "These are the sheets we used for Dawn that one time. Are they the incorrect ones to be using?"

Xander sighed as he pulled her closer towards the kitchen. "Remember how we talked about those things that should not be mentioned in front of other people?" he asked. Before Anya had a chance to answer, he continued. "This is one of those things."

"But shouldn't you be proud of your physical attributes?" Anya asked in confusion.

Xander sighed again as he pulled his girlfriend into a hug. "You'll understand this whole tact thing one day," he began as he saw Monica quickly fixing the messy sheets on the couch. "Now what do you say about getting some rest?"

"Rest?!" Anya asked in horror. "You think being with me is rest? Maybe Chandler is a better boyfriend!"

"Mine!" Monica quickly yelled as she wrapped a possessive arm around Chandler.

Xander groaned in spite of himself. "Being with you is not rest," he whispered to Anya. "But we have company," he said as he gestured at Monica and Chandler with a nod of his head.

"You said you picked them because you said they could put up with our sex life!" Anya shouted.

"Which we can," Monica injected. "I mean, we're going to be--"

"Playing with Phoebe's sock bunnies!" Chandler added before Monica could go into the details of their own sex life.

Anya screamed loudly as she clung to Xander. "You let them bring bunnies in here?" she asked in horror before abruptly turning to Chandler and Anya. "You brought bunnies into my apartment?!" she shrieked.

"What's her deal?" Monica asked Xander.

"Bunnies frighten her," Xander answered plainly as he placed a comforting arm around Anya and began rubbing her back soothingly. "Don't worry, Ahn, they didn't bring real bunnies into the apartment," he assured her. "You didn't, right?" he asked a moment later.

Chandler nodded. "No real rabbits," he declared firmly.

"Good," Anya said plainly as she began walking towards the bedroom. "Then we'll see you in the morning," she finished as she turned around and grabbed Xander's wrist at an attempt to bring him into the bedroom with her.

"I want gum," Dawn announced as she paced around in the Magic Box. She was unsure exactly of whose idea it as to stay until they had finished training in the other room, but it had seemed like a good idea to both Joey and Ross. And as a result, she was stuck in the main part of the Magic Box with nothing to do.

"Oh!" Phoebe exclaimed loudly as she reached for her purse. "I have gum! I really do!" She sighed as she began emptying the contents of her purse onto the table in front of her.

"A sneaker?" Dawn asked with an arched eyebrow as she held the green high top between her thumb and forefinger.

"Oh, that's normal for Phoebe," Ross pointed out.

"A fish?" Dawn asked with more shock as she looked at the small fish in a bag. "Why exactly do you have a fish?"

Phoebe frowned a bit as she could not remember when she had even purchased the small animal. "Um, it's for you!" she said with a cheery smile. "As a thank-you for letting us stay in your house!"

"Thanks," Dawn began as she continued to sound confused. She shrugged it off as she sat down next to Ross. "Is this really normal for her?" she whispered to the paleontologist.

Ross nodded. "This is her small purse," he whispered back.

"Right," Dawn said as she returned her attention to the fish in front of her. "Hope this doesn't bother Buffy," she thought out loud.

"Oh, I have fish food in here somewhere!" Phoebe called as she continued emptying out her purse.

"Ooh! Broke a nail!" Rachel announced as she stopped training and began wiping the beads of sweat away from her forehead. "We have to stop."

"Over a fingernail?" Giles asked, sounding very shocked and confused.

"Giles, we have been working quite hard all evening," Buffy pointed out as she began cooling down with some stretches. "For Rachel's sake, I think we should call it a night."

Giles nodded slightly. "You may have a point," he began as he walked over towards the back storage closet and began taking off his padding.

Buffy beamed proudly as she returned to her full upright position and began walking over to the weapons chest. She pulled out a stake and walked back towards Rachel. "Here, this is for you. A sort of 'Welcome to Sunnydale' gift."

"I can't exchange this for store credit," Rachel pointed out with a frown.

"Never loose that," Giles commanded simply. "If you do, then you can consider yourself dead in this town."

"But I thought this is only good against vampires," Rachel said as she tried to keep the various demon and vampire facts straight.

Buffy nodded. "True, but one-this is Sunnydale and vampires are literally crawling all over the place and two- with enough force behind it, that could kill a demon." She sighed, walking over towards the door, motioning for Rachel to follow. "Giles, you'll lock up, right?" she asked as she and Rachel entered the main part of the store without waiting for the answer.

"Come on," Buffy continued as she and Rachel headed for the main Magic box door. "We're going home," she announced as she opened the door and waited for everyone to follow her lead, which they did slowly. "Oh, except for you Ross," Buffy added. "Giles has to lock up and you're staying with him."

Ross shrugged as he walked over towards the bookshelves. He smiled, picking up one of them and began reading it.

"Home sweet home," Dawn announced as she ran up to the porch of 1630 Revello Drive. "It's relatively safe," she added with a smile as she unlocked the door.

"Alright," Buffy said as everyone filed into the foyer and cluttered around in a group, not knowing where they should be going. "Ok, Dawn, why don't you show Phoebe to her room, whichever one of our rooms she wants."

"What about me?" Rachel pouted. "I'm the Slayer. Shouldn't I get to pick my room?"

"Oh," Buffy began. "I just thought you'd be hungry, you know, after all the training, but if you'd rather go upstairs--"

"Food?!" Joey asked happily. "Where is it?"

"Probably in the kitchen," Phoebe said proudly as she followed Dawn upstairs.

Rachel smiled. "Sure, I could use some food," she said as she began following Joey towards the kitchen. She smiled, walking over to the refrigerator and pulling out a nonfat yogurt. "Spoons?" she asked curiously with a glance towards Buffy.

"Drawer underneath the sink," Buffy announced from her position at the entrance to the kitchen.

"So Buffy," Joey began as he approached the blond with his hands full of two bags of chips and a small bottle of Coke.

"Yea?" Buffy asked as she eyed the amount of food he had in his hands.

"How you doin'?"