Considering the fact that I have nothing else to do, have chapter three.
-Disclaimer: Je ne possède pas "The Legend of Zelda." Il est à Nintendo, Inc.-
A Contemporary History of Hyrule
-Chapter Three: The Hero of Time-
Section 1- Ocarina of Time
For the most part, Nintendo's game The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time does a very nice job of presenting a historically accurate picture of what happened to Link between ages ten and eighteen (he didn't just breeze through all those temples in a week, you know). However, there are a few minor errors that are worth correcting.
Firstly, Link was not a mute. He was a very outspoken young man- often too outspoken. During his first meeting with Princess Zelda, they actually spent most of the time debating the economic repercussions of the King's latest decree, arguing so heatedly that Zelda eventually sentenced Link to death. She relented only when Navi flew out of Link's hat in indignation. The conversation then continued as is shown in the game.
Also, it should be noted that Zelda had not, in fact, hit puberty at age ten, as seems to be implied in the game.
Another major difference has to do with Navi. She was the least intelligent of all the fairies in the forest, which is why she was assigned to Link. Her vocabulary consisted of three words ("hey," "listen," and "hello") and her voice resembled fingernails on a chalkboard. During the battle with Phantom Ganon, Navi's shrill "HELLO!" distracted Link, almost costing him his life. He promptly sliced her in half, and continued the remainder of his quest in blessed silence.
Finally, Zelda revealed her identity to Link much sooner than is shown in the game. However, as it is the desire of the editor that this text be rated PG-13, he is not at liberty to discuss in any depth what happened during their first reunion. Or second. Or third.
Section 2- The Golden Age and Ganon's Return
After Link's epic defeat of the horror that was Ganon, it is common knowledge that he put the Master Sword to rest, presumably for good, and was returned to his childhood to live out his life as it would have been. There has been some controversy over whether or not he remembered his quest, but the fact that the first thing he did was sneak right back into Zelda's chamber seems to suggest that he did. Zelda, too, remembered how Link had, almost single-handedly, saved the land, and persuaded her father to arrange for his adoption by a wealthy Hylian family. He moved in with them immediately after, and was a nuisance right from the get-go. A ten-year-old with an arsenal as large as Link's was has the potential for mischief of huge proportions. The first thing Link did was put a bomb in the outhouse.
Hyrule prospered. With peace came a few notable advances in technology and literature. A more advanced sewage system was implemented, and soon after the Hylians were enjoying the comforts of indoor plumbing. This, naturally, gave rise to the need for plumbers, a job willingly taken up by the Zora. While they did have some Hylian competition, Zora plumbers were generally much preferred as they eliminated the problem of having to deal with the, shall we say, saggy pants of humanoid plumbers.
The Golden Age also gave rise to a parody movement among authors. Hylian literature, which until this point had been generally dark and dreary, soon became known for its upbeat nature and clever humor.
From the time he was about twelve, Link spent all of his time at the headquarters of the Royal Guards. He fully intended to become the Captain of the Guard someday, mainly because he saw that as his best shot of getting a hot wife (namely, Zelda). However, just as he was initiated into the Guard at the standard age of thirteen, Princess Zelda mysteriously vanished.
Contrary to anyone's expectations, though, Link did not quit the Guard when he heard the news. Nor did he quit after an extensive search had been performed, turning up nothing. He simply trained and rose quickly through the ranks of the Guard, attaining the rank of First Lieutenant by the age of nineteen. Contrary to most historical accounts, he did not use bribery.
Then, suddenly, Link too disappeared. He returned a year later with Zelda. Exactly what happened to Link during this time is chronicled in Link's Quest to Find Zelda, a historical work by TempleMaster17. As it is the only account of this period, no statement can be made as to its adherence to the truth. The only known facts are that Link was gone for a year, and when he came back Zelda was with him. Get those perverted thoughts out of your head.
The day that Link left is widely recognized as the end of Hyrule's golden age. Within a week the King had died. While the official report cited natural causes, the fact that he was found dead in the middle of the square with a knife in his back went a long way to contradict this statement. With Zelda gone, there was no heir to the throne, and so a committee was appointed to nominate the next ruler of the Hylians. Several people were outspoken about why they were the natural choice for King or Queen, and most of them were wrong. One woman was reported to have claimed that she should be the next queen because she had crabs. Amused but slightly sickened, the committee asked her in the strongest possible terms to leave.
The only candidate who seemed to make any sense was Impa, who was the Sage of Shadow and had been Princess Zelda's caretaker. However, the committee could not choose a candidate as king or queen until they had heard from every one of them. Thus, it was almost a year before it got down to the vote. That was the day that Link and Zelda returned to Hyrule.
The two promptly made a beeline for the castle, and the first thing Link did upon finding the room where the committee was meeting was put an arrow in Impa. Zelda was made queen on sight, and she immediately pardoned Link, and later made him Captain of the Guard. Funny how things work out.
As it turned out, Impa had been a traitor to the cause of justice and dippin' dots (which are the same thing, if you think about it), opting instead to aid in the return of the King of Evil, George Bush (Ganondorf's pseudonym that he used while imprisoned, under which he published several books advocating human sacrifice and polygamy). It also turned out that her efforts had been met with moderate success. Or maybe "moderate" is something of an understatement, as a week later Ganondorf showed up at the headquarters of the Guard to congratulate Link on his promotion. He promptly left, leaving behind a note as well as a very bemused Link. The note read:
Dear Link,
Once again I congratulate you on your promotion to Captain of the Guard. Please give my regards to Zelda, as I hear she has been made queen following the tragic death of her father. Take my advice, and ask her to marry you. I think you two will be happy together. Sincerely,
Ganondorf, the King of Evil.
P.S. I will be killing one random person daily until stopped. But wait, you can't stop me without all seven sages, and it seems as though you've gone an put an arrow through the head of one of them, haven't you? HA! Sweet dreams....
The original copy of this letter still exists, and is on display in the Royal Hylian Library.
Thus Ganondorf, aided by Impa, was able to make his return to Hyrule. The next chapter will discuss, on a side-note, the nature of the Sages and the Shiekah, then move on to how Ganondorf was dealt with for the second time.
So, there's chapter three. Now give me feedback. And by feedback I mean what you thought of it and, more importantly, why. A comment like "It's good" or "It sucks" doesn't do me much good. Keep in mind that I have a lot of room here to make up anything that didn't happen in the games, so if there's some kind of event you'd like to see mentioned, tell me. Now, REVIEW!
-Disclaimer: Je ne possède pas "The Legend of Zelda." Il est à Nintendo, Inc.-
A Contemporary History of Hyrule
-Chapter Three: The Hero of Time-
Section 1- Ocarina of Time
For the most part, Nintendo's game The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time does a very nice job of presenting a historically accurate picture of what happened to Link between ages ten and eighteen (he didn't just breeze through all those temples in a week, you know). However, there are a few minor errors that are worth correcting.
Firstly, Link was not a mute. He was a very outspoken young man- often too outspoken. During his first meeting with Princess Zelda, they actually spent most of the time debating the economic repercussions of the King's latest decree, arguing so heatedly that Zelda eventually sentenced Link to death. She relented only when Navi flew out of Link's hat in indignation. The conversation then continued as is shown in the game.
Also, it should be noted that Zelda had not, in fact, hit puberty at age ten, as seems to be implied in the game.
Another major difference has to do with Navi. She was the least intelligent of all the fairies in the forest, which is why she was assigned to Link. Her vocabulary consisted of three words ("hey," "listen," and "hello") and her voice resembled fingernails on a chalkboard. During the battle with Phantom Ganon, Navi's shrill "HELLO!" distracted Link, almost costing him his life. He promptly sliced her in half, and continued the remainder of his quest in blessed silence.
Finally, Zelda revealed her identity to Link much sooner than is shown in the game. However, as it is the desire of the editor that this text be rated PG-13, he is not at liberty to discuss in any depth what happened during their first reunion. Or second. Or third.
Section 2- The Golden Age and Ganon's Return
After Link's epic defeat of the horror that was Ganon, it is common knowledge that he put the Master Sword to rest, presumably for good, and was returned to his childhood to live out his life as it would have been. There has been some controversy over whether or not he remembered his quest, but the fact that the first thing he did was sneak right back into Zelda's chamber seems to suggest that he did. Zelda, too, remembered how Link had, almost single-handedly, saved the land, and persuaded her father to arrange for his adoption by a wealthy Hylian family. He moved in with them immediately after, and was a nuisance right from the get-go. A ten-year-old with an arsenal as large as Link's was has the potential for mischief of huge proportions. The first thing Link did was put a bomb in the outhouse.
Hyrule prospered. With peace came a few notable advances in technology and literature. A more advanced sewage system was implemented, and soon after the Hylians were enjoying the comforts of indoor plumbing. This, naturally, gave rise to the need for plumbers, a job willingly taken up by the Zora. While they did have some Hylian competition, Zora plumbers were generally much preferred as they eliminated the problem of having to deal with the, shall we say, saggy pants of humanoid plumbers.
The Golden Age also gave rise to a parody movement among authors. Hylian literature, which until this point had been generally dark and dreary, soon became known for its upbeat nature and clever humor.
From the time he was about twelve, Link spent all of his time at the headquarters of the Royal Guards. He fully intended to become the Captain of the Guard someday, mainly because he saw that as his best shot of getting a hot wife (namely, Zelda). However, just as he was initiated into the Guard at the standard age of thirteen, Princess Zelda mysteriously vanished.
Contrary to anyone's expectations, though, Link did not quit the Guard when he heard the news. Nor did he quit after an extensive search had been performed, turning up nothing. He simply trained and rose quickly through the ranks of the Guard, attaining the rank of First Lieutenant by the age of nineteen. Contrary to most historical accounts, he did not use bribery.
Then, suddenly, Link too disappeared. He returned a year later with Zelda. Exactly what happened to Link during this time is chronicled in Link's Quest to Find Zelda, a historical work by TempleMaster17. As it is the only account of this period, no statement can be made as to its adherence to the truth. The only known facts are that Link was gone for a year, and when he came back Zelda was with him. Get those perverted thoughts out of your head.
The day that Link left is widely recognized as the end of Hyrule's golden age. Within a week the King had died. While the official report cited natural causes, the fact that he was found dead in the middle of the square with a knife in his back went a long way to contradict this statement. With Zelda gone, there was no heir to the throne, and so a committee was appointed to nominate the next ruler of the Hylians. Several people were outspoken about why they were the natural choice for King or Queen, and most of them were wrong. One woman was reported to have claimed that she should be the next queen because she had crabs. Amused but slightly sickened, the committee asked her in the strongest possible terms to leave.
The only candidate who seemed to make any sense was Impa, who was the Sage of Shadow and had been Princess Zelda's caretaker. However, the committee could not choose a candidate as king or queen until they had heard from every one of them. Thus, it was almost a year before it got down to the vote. That was the day that Link and Zelda returned to Hyrule.
The two promptly made a beeline for the castle, and the first thing Link did upon finding the room where the committee was meeting was put an arrow in Impa. Zelda was made queen on sight, and she immediately pardoned Link, and later made him Captain of the Guard. Funny how things work out.
As it turned out, Impa had been a traitor to the cause of justice and dippin' dots (which are the same thing, if you think about it), opting instead to aid in the return of the King of Evil, George Bush (Ganondorf's pseudonym that he used while imprisoned, under which he published several books advocating human sacrifice and polygamy). It also turned out that her efforts had been met with moderate success. Or maybe "moderate" is something of an understatement, as a week later Ganondorf showed up at the headquarters of the Guard to congratulate Link on his promotion. He promptly left, leaving behind a note as well as a very bemused Link. The note read:
Dear Link,
Once again I congratulate you on your promotion to Captain of the Guard. Please give my regards to Zelda, as I hear she has been made queen following the tragic death of her father. Take my advice, and ask her to marry you. I think you two will be happy together. Sincerely,
Ganondorf, the King of Evil.
P.S. I will be killing one random person daily until stopped. But wait, you can't stop me without all seven sages, and it seems as though you've gone an put an arrow through the head of one of them, haven't you? HA! Sweet dreams....
The original copy of this letter still exists, and is on display in the Royal Hylian Library.
Thus Ganondorf, aided by Impa, was able to make his return to Hyrule. The next chapter will discuss, on a side-note, the nature of the Sages and the Shiekah, then move on to how Ganondorf was dealt with for the second time.
So, there's chapter three. Now give me feedback. And by feedback I mean what you thought of it and, more importantly, why. A comment like "It's good" or "It sucks" doesn't do me much good. Keep in mind that I have a lot of room here to make up anything that didn't happen in the games, so if there's some kind of event you'd like to see mentioned, tell me. Now, REVIEW!