I woke up in the early, early morning. If I were working, I would be getting off a shift about now. But... I wasn't on duty. I don't know what I'm on.

It is easy when you are a doctor, to know things and to try and cure them. But when it is actually you in that skimpy gown – things get a lot more confusing...and scary.

The sun wasn't up yet, but I knew I could not go back to sleep.

I picked up a pen and a pad that was by the phone by my bed and started writing.

There was nothing else to do and writing always helped me get everything out. But instead of just writing, I wrote letters.

Dear Elliott,

I am madly and passionately in love with you.

"NO, I COULDN'T PUT THAT."

I really value our friendship and would never want to ruin that. Even if we did it once. You mean more to me than I think you know, and I try to show you, in my own little ways. I just want you to know that I see you, somebody knows you, and wants to know you. I feel as though I have known you longer than I have. You are a treasure. I only hope one day you will know just how truly gorgeous, and smart, and dear you are. Because you are. You really are.

"I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SIGN THE LETTER. THAT IS THE MOST CRUCIAL. I FEEL LIKE I BABBLED THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. I FEEL LIKE I SAID THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER, BUT IT'S HOW I FEEL. OH, SCREW IT!"

Yours Always,

J.D.

I knew I would probably go through several drafts before I even thought of giving it to her. I would probably never give it to her.

But I had to write it.

"God, I love that girl."

"Something I can help you with there Doctor Dorian?" an old voice croaked while opening the door.

"No, sir. I was just- uh, help me with what?"

"Alrighty, Sport. I just saw you had a letter there. Thought maybe I could drop it in the mail for you."

"Oh, no. I was just getting some things out... Thank you though, Dr. Kelso."

"I just thought I'd come in and see... well, just see how you are, son."

"I'm fine, sir. This is a great place you have here."

Kelso smiled but didn't laugh. That was something I guess. He looked so, so calm.

"If there is anything we can get you, son, just let us know."

"Thanks." I said as he closed the door and left the room. I watched the light shrink into a small white sliver, then darkness.

Boy was that strange. The chief of medicine coming in to my room and seeing how I was. I don't know if he would do that for his own wife let alone an intern like me. Maybe I was dreaming... it is still pretty early.

"Let us know if there is anything we can get for you... Son."

What was that about? Why would he say that unless-, had my test results come back?

The clock clicked 5 am...