A/N: This one takes place just after Voldemort's first defeat. I know it's rather… scattered, but just go with it. Think of it as a monologue.

Chapter 7- Peter's Problems

What am I to do? What am I to do? No where to go, he knows. He knows and there's no one to protect me. Stupid! Stupid! Sirius will be after me, and I am all alone… all alone. Remus could protect me! Yes! That's it.

No, he wouldn't do that. No! No! No! No where to go. No where to hide. I need a place… need a place.

My master! Oh my master is gone! Oh, what am I to do?

The boy! They said it was the boy! How did a boy manage that? Maybe the boy can be my protection, oh sweet little Harry. But they took him away… took him away to the Muggles. Bad little boy abandoning me! Oh my master would be so angry at the boy. He would lash someone, he would. Cruciatus! Ha ha ha… but he isn't here… no no he isn't and I'm doomed! I'm doomed!

Maybe… maybe if they can't find me, yes! If they can't find me they can't catch me ah-ha! That bastard Black, denying his family for the Muggle-born Evans. I bet he liked her, I bet he did. Everyone liked Evans. Soft hair, green eyes… she looked over me. I'll bet she's sorry now, I bet she is. Sorry that she didn't see me there.

Oh… oh… Lily… she's dead… they said she's dead. Oh dear sweet Lily, gone from this world. Oh that boy doesn't have his mum. Oh dear sweet Harry, no longer having his mum. Or dad. Oh James! My dear friend, what have I done? Why? Why are you gone? You can't protect me from Sirius! Oh come and protect me! Protect me someone!

My mum… she'll be home soon, won't she? What'll she think, oh, what'll she think?

I have to leave! I must pack up and leave! Where will I go? I can't work anywhere, my name will be scarred! Damn Sirius! Damn him! Walking around with his perfect hair and perfect personality. Everyone loved him. Loved him, they did, they loved him. No one liked me. Not until they needed me to be the secret keeper. What a perfect job that was. Allow me to introduce you to my friend You-Know-Who. Ha ha ha. Oh what I would have given to see their faces. The ultimate practical joke!

They liked jokes. They liked to play them on me too. Playing jokes on poor pathetic Pettigrew who'd laugh and take it. I didn't have to take it anymore, but now… now I'm undone!

Worthless! A peon! No… no, don't say that, don't say that. Someone will care for me. Someone out there will take care, yes, I just have to find them. Think. Think. Someone out there must love a worthless rat like me! A rat! Kids like rats!

No! No! No! Kids kill rats. They mistreat them, the way they mistreated me. Marauders! Causing more trouble with each other than with anyone else. Always getting me involved, pinning me as the one who did it. Let Peter take the blame, he won't mind. Yeah, I didn't mind. I would just make up for it. And I did, ha ha ha.

But he took Lily too! Damn you Vol—He-who-must-not-be-named! You promised you wouldn't touch her! You promised! And now you've left me to take the blame. Oh, what am I to do? What am I to do with myself? Who will protect me? Lily would have protected me! She never did like when Sirius got violent. Oh Lily, why can't you protect me now why?

Oh… I must leave, I must leave and find Sirius. He was a good friend, a good friend. Oh Sirius don't hurt me, please.

He's hurt me before, he has, why would now be any different. He'd kill me, I know he would. He comes from dark magic, dark magic I tell you. He wouldn't think twice before casting a curse! Avada Kedavera! Then poor Peter Pettigrew would be gone, known for a no good Son of a Squib, left in the street for the rats to eat there own!

Rats! I can live the rats! They'll take care of me! They'll take good care of me, since I'd be one of them. Oh thank you James for helping me learn! Thank you for helping me! You've saved me without even knowing it.

Dumbledore doesn't know… he doesn't know I was secret keeper. Ha ha ha! Yes! I can see it now! Sirius Black in Azkaban where he belongs! Yes! Oh, I must be careful. Tedious. I can do it. I can save myself. No need of Marauders or Master!

Oh, my master, I didn't mean that! I didn't mean it, oh how I miss you. Without you, though, I will live on. Survive. Yes. Ha ha ha.

A/N: Wow… that was even harder to write than I imagined. Sorry it was so short. Must say my mind is in a very weird place now. I see Peter as indecisive and someone nutters, so I hope you still like this version of his resentment. I didn't see him resenting any one person, which is what makes it so weird. And, just in case you're wondering, the deal I referred to is my belief to why Voldemort was going to let Lily live, and was just trying to get her out of the way.

Anyway, please review… I think I have an idea for a more main character, but we'll see.

Thank you:

Hydraspit: Hey there… were you able to finish the other 5 chapters to this point? If not, I'd love to hear what else you have to say on those chapters!

Fast-Talking Johnny: Okay, so much to answer so little room. Yes, Molly dwells a bit on it when she shouldn't, but I think it's more that I showed her alone. I'm sure she doesn't think on it all the time. With the Tom thing, I think you're right, he didn't really have a chance to love his mother because he was too young to even really know her, but it was a good way to have an excuse to kill his father, who he truly hated. Thanks for saying so on the Argus chapter… It was something I thought of and ran by my roommate at the time, thinking it would be interesting. She thought so too.

JamieBell: Sorry it's taking me so long on what seems to be your favorite fanfic of mine. Thank you for reviewing and giving me your thoughts.

Pullmanlover: Thank you for reviewing, and thank you for the compliment! I think that's what I try and pull off here: characters no one really considers or if they do, in a manner they wouldn't think of them.

Long-tall-texan: Oh thank you! I hope you get to read this chapter, and I appreciate your review!

Daisaigai Katie: I guess when I found out they were related that I kind of made the assumption that they were siblings. Just what I was thinking, but I could be wrong, of course.

Libyanauthor: Thank you. I'm sure you could come up with something as, if not more, creative than this. It's just my random thinkings.

Mell Minamoto: Good suggestion. I have been thinking on using Peter for quite a while, but had to get myself into a completely crazy mindset to do so. Hence I've had about 20 peanut butter kisses from Halloween and I'm finally getting back to this fic!

Angel718: Here you go… request granted!