Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.

Chapter 9- Noble Neville

Why me? Why does everything happen to me? Cornish Pixies, howlers, broken wrists, everything! Why?! It's not like I don't try. I probably try harder than anyone in my year, including Granger. Honestly, I do. Even when I was younger I tried everything I could to move objects, like my cousin Joel could do. He was always ahead of me in everything. True, he was older, but does that mean everyone has to praise him? Not that it's Joel's fault I can't even do the simplest of spells.

There was only one person that continued to test the theory that I could be a wizard, and a bloody lot of good he was. Hanging me over balconies and sending large snakes into my room. Harmless snakes, but how was I to know that? I was only five!

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't turn out more like Dad. Gran always says how good he was, how well he did. Why can't I make her proud like Dad did? I don't ask that, though. She might just get upset. I hate to see her upset too; it's even worse than when she's angry. Uncle Algie starts to mimic Gran when she goes on about 'Family Honor', but that's because he doesn't care much about it. I do, and I try. I really try, and I always seem to fail.

I can't do anything right. I tried to ask Hermione to the Yule Ball, and she already had a date. She was real nice to me, when she turned me down, but still… it's hard to hear you're not good enough. Even after Ginny said she'd go with me I had a hard time. She seemed more interested in the Ravenclaw than she did in me. Ginny was always really nice to me too, though. She stuck up for me when Harry and Ron were laughing at the idea that I had a date. Then again, that could be because they were laughing at her in the process. Still, she found some other guy. She dated him at the end of that year. Honestly I think that if I had stood like a wall between her and Corner she still would have seen straight through me.

I mean, who would be stupid enough to want to be with me anyway? I'm not cool or daring. I mess up the easiest spells, and take hours trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong with them. It's impossible that anyone would like me. Mum and Dad met in Hogwarts. Gran said Dad wrote home and couldn't stop talking about Mum. Gran said that she had to wait until summer before she could get his attention enough to find out about anything else. I suppose I don't have to meet someone at Hogwarts, but it would be nice to have the option.

Options are something I generally don't have. I don't have the option to have my parents back, that's for sure. They've been saying that they're trying to figure out how to get them back in a right state since I was seven. At least, that's the first time I remember asking. I guess I better stop hoping for a miracle. Sometimes I thought that perhaps I could find a plant. I had heard that even Muggles would use the healing powers of plants. I spent hours and hours of my time after that looking in books, seeing what different plants did. It was an obsession with me. Gran would have to tell me to put the books away before coming to dinner. I didn't want to put them down. I knew that somewhere, somehow inside those books there was an answer, a secret message that no one at Mungo's had noticed, telling them exactly how to cure Mum and Dad.

Sometimes I would daydream about how I would find it and be a hero. Everyone would look at me and smile and say 'I'd bet his family is proud'. Wouldn't that be some way to uphold the family honor?

None of it will happen, though. None of it will ever occur. I'll always be mediocre. I'll always be poor Neville Longbottom who couldn't do a spell to save his life. Sometimes I look back at how far I've come, at what spells I actually have gotten the hang of. It's a short-lived excitement, though. The thought of how far ahead other students are. Of how much better Granger can do and how much more capable Dean or Ron even are in comparison to me. I'll never be as good, no matter how far I go, but I guess I'm destined to keep trying.

A/N: Here is the one good thing that came out of my nervous breakdown last week. I was in my car after Winter Guard practice, bawling as I drove home and found myself identifying with the unlikeliest of characters. I just hope he has a good friend to talk him down from moments like these… because I'm lucky to have a really good best friend who did… (thanks a million Karbear! My best friend and my sister at heart…)

Please Review!

Thank you:

Katkit: Thanks a lot! I'm glad you liked it.

Capriceann hedican-Kocur: As we have already emailed, I'm sure you remember the answers to most of those questions. I'm glad you like this one. I hope you like this chapter as well.

JamieBell: I'm glad the Peter chapter worked properly. I don't think he's a really rational character. I feel bad for anyone who tries to edit that in their mind ;) I know the Dean chapter didn't exactly match up, but I had to write it that way or it would have been very repetitive. I wanted to initial reaction to come across, which I don't imagine would have been very good.