Please see first chapter for disclaimer & other info

A/N: Sorry for the wait, everyone! Thought I'd share some amazing stats. with you all. At the time of posting, MTS has 400 reviews and over 5,000 hits. I'm overwhelmed. Thank you to each and every one of you who takes the time to read and/or review. I'm sorry I can't always reply individually, but I'm truly grateful. I'm primarily an angst writer so it warms my heart to see so many people that are supportive of my attempt at humour :D Without further ado, I present...

Chapter Fourteen: Space Etiquette 101

Tatooine was just as hot and sandy as Anakin remembered. The Coruscant Wings had landed in the middle of the desert, close to Mos Eisley. Jabba's infamous palace hadn't been too far so the Skywalker duo had opted to walk. Artoo followed close behind.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Luke mumbled as he looked up at the entrance of the palace. Anakin couldn't help but laugh.

"If only Obi-Wan could hear you now, son." He too looked up at the seemingly endless palace. He hadn't ever been this close to it before, despite his living on Tatooine. The slave chip could do that to you.

Moments later, one of Jabba's guards had come outside. Anakin had let Luke use the Jedi mind techniques on this one. He was so proud of his son, who handled the weak-minded guard with ease. He would definitely be making his recommendation to Obi-Wan that Luke take his trials. He would like to see Luke's padawan braid tucked away in the same safe his was in.

Anakin breathed deeply. Luke had managed to reason with him on the remainder of the journey here. As much as Anakin hated to admit it, he had been acting like an idiot. He had spent most of the time meditating. Of course, he was still very angry with Han. Very angry, indeed. But he had forgiven Leia. She was his little princess after all. He just hoped she hadn't involved herself in this mess.

The guard led them into a large room, where women of various species were dancing, much like in the famous Mos Eisley cantina. Anakin raised an eyebrow and then caught the eye of Jabba.

His mind drifted off for a moment eyeing the very familiar droid that stood beside him. Threepio. Which meant…

Anakin felt like all those hours he spent meditating were a waste. There was that anger the Jedi were preaching about, flowing through his veins. He wasn't sure if he was watching one of those terrible B-grade adult Holonet films or if he'd stepped into some crazy, twisted Han Solo sex fantasy.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

Anakin was sure he would have preferred to remain in blissful ignorance when it came to the knowledge of 'how would Leia Skywalker look in a gold bikini?'

Beside him, he knew Luke was taking control of the situation. He caught Leia's eye for a moment. Ever the courageous girl Padmè had raised her to be, he didn't even see a glint of fear in her eye. Despite the fact she had followed Han here (although Anakin still liked to think he kidnapped her) and gotten caught in this bizarre trap, he was proud of her for staying strong.

And in that simple moment, it clicked. This wasn't his little girl sitting up there, patiently waiting to be rescued by her daddy. Leia was a young woman now. She was strong. He was almost certain he could see a plan formulating in her head. Luke finished his speech.

It was time for them to go into aggressive negotiations. He stopped-

Lightsaber time!

With a quick flick of the wrist both Luke and Anakin took out their lightsabers. Green and blue began to strike down the various species of Jabba's minions. Many fled the room in fear. If it had have been just the one of the Jedi, surely it would not have been a success. But the Chosen One and his Jedi son in a room with two lightsabers and a room full of morons had spoke for itself. There was no one left.

Anakin heard a shrill cry and looked up onto the platform. Leia was strangling the foul Hutt with her own slave-chain. Anakin was impressed. The room was silent. Luke and Anakin looked at each other expectantly and then faced Leia.

She glared back at her two rescuers and went to open her mouth.

"Not a word, young lady!" Anakin snapped. "You are in so much trouble once we get back to Naboo. And make no mistake, you WILL be coming back with me, and you WILL be bringing along Captain Han Solo. We have some things to discuss."

Leia could see her father was in no mood for arguments. So to keep the peace, she kept her mouth closed. Suddenly, she became very conscious of what she was wearing. She tried to hide some of her revealed flesh but failed miserably, warranting a snort from Luke.

Surveying the damage, Luke looked around the room. "What now?" he asked his father.

Anakin grinned evilly at his children.

"I think it's time to find a certain Captain Han Solo!"

The trio had decided to split up to find Han and Chewbacca. Luke and Leia had gone in one direction and Anakin in the other. Each team had taken their portable arm-comlinks. Leia had been fairly certain Jabba's guards had split up Chewie and Han.

And for the first time, Anakin was glad to be seeing Han. They had much to discuss. More like Anakin had much to yell at the smuggler about.

Like Space Etiquette 101.

Lesson One: It is extremely unprofessional to lure unsuspecting 18-year-old politicians into traps on Tatooine. Especially after you had just taken her father's credits in a game of Sabacc. Which you cheated in.

Yep, Anakin Skywalker would definitely be having words with Han once he found him. If he found him. The palace was designed so anyone who went wondering without permission would ultimately get lost and make their way to the Rancor pit. And Anakin didn't really want to end up there.

He passed another set of dungeons. They all looked the same to him. He walked for another five minutes and then finally came across something that caught his eye. Or more accurately something caught his acute Jedi hearing. It was a voice.

It was an unmistakeable voice. Anakin had found Han.

Smiling, he raised the commlink to his lips. "I've found him."