The
next day at breakfast, no one was talking. Ron and Hermione left the
table as soon as Harry came into the kitchen. Harry sat down at the
table, but he couldn't eat, not after what had happened the night
before. Now he really wanted to talk to Ron and Hermione, but they
wouldn't even stay in the same room anymore. He left the kitchen
before he had even taken a bite of everything. He went back up into
his room and closed the door. Harry heard a loud 'meow' from behind
him. Crookshanks jumped onto his bed. "What are you doing in
here?" Harry said as he went to get the cat. "Hermione will
probably kill me if she sees you in here." He tried to pick
Crookshankes up, but he hissed, swiped a paw at Harry, and ran under
Harry's bed. Harry gave up and fell onto his bed. He closed his eyes
and felt something nuzzling his arm. He looked over at Crookshanks,
who was now on his bed. "Fine. But if she kills me it's your
fault." Geeze I'm talking to a cat, Harry thought. He
closed his eyes again.
A few minutes later, the door opened.
"Crookshanks there you are." Hermione said. Harry heard her
sneak over to his bed and pick up the cat. She started to walk away.
Now was his only chance.
"Hermione?" Harry said. She
stopped, but didn't say anything. "Can we talk?" he
asked
"I thought you weren't talking to me because I'm a -
"
"I didn't mean to call you that. I was just so mad at
Ron that it just came out too fast."
"But do you really
feel that way?" she turned around and faced him.
"No.
Ron was being a jerk and I spit everything out so fast that I didn't
really know what I was saying."
"Really?" she
asked. Harry nodded. "Well he was being a jerk, but still I
never thought you'd start saying things like that."
"Sorry."
Harry said. Hermione didn't respond. "Well I guess you can go
back to not caring about me anymore. Not that it really matters that
much."
"What do you mean not caring about you?"
Harry
thought for a minute. "I don't know..." He sat down on his
bed and put his head in his hands.
"Harry? Is everything
okay?"
"Yeah it's great. It's always been great. In
fact, the only thing that could make this summer any better would be
if I were to just die right now. Maybe then I would be happy for one
time in the last three years." Hermione let Crookshanks go and
sat down next to him.
"You haven't been happy?" Harry
didn't answer her. "Harry? Well if you didn't want to talk then
why'd you make me stop?" she got up and started to
leave.
"Wait Hermione I -" but she was already gone.
Harry fell backward onto his bed, rolled over and buried his head in
the blankets. Wow Harry could you screw up your life any more?
he thought. He felt his eyes beginning to water. It's like no one
cares anymore, he thought. Like no one wants me around. Harry
could hear someone coming upstairs. They stopped in front of his open
door and started to walk in.
"Harry?" Ginny asked. She
touched his shoulder. "Are you awake?"
"Go away
Ginny." Harry said
"I only want to tell you something. I
really am sorry that I got you into trouble with Ron and Hermione and
if you never talk to me again then I'll understand." she waited
for a minute, and then turned and left his room, closing the door
behind her. Harry felt like he should have said something, but he
really didn't have anything to
say.
Harry stayed
in his room the whole day. Around five o'clock, he heard someone
knocking at his door. "Come in." he said, and Charlie
walked in.
"Mum sent me up here to make sure you were still
alive."
"Well apparently I am." Harry
snapped
"Woah, what's wrong with you?"
"Everything."
"Is
something going on between you and Ron and Hermione? I noticed you
weren't talking anymore."
"Yeah I screwed up our
friendship ten times over. And now they won't talk to me, partly
because I told them not to." Harry explained
"Why don't
you want them to talk to you?" Charlie asked
"Ron was
being a jerk, and I went off at him, and said some things that
weren't very nice."
"Well he's a jerk a lot. What was he
saying about you?"
"That I cut myself and I sneak girls
in and I'm screwing up his life and bla bla bla bla bla..."
Charlie
laughed. "You sneak girls in?"
Harry laughed "No I
don't! Well... she snuck herself in..."
"Wooo
Harry..."
"Shut up. I didn't ask her to come."
"Sorry.
And he thinks you cut yourself. Wow he really is going mad."
"Tell
me about it." Harry said
"You couldn't have cut
yourself like that. It's physically impossible. Believe me I've been
cut by large claws before, and those were all large claw cuts. By the
way, how is your leg?"
"It's fine; almost completely
healed. How's yours?"
"Oh it's okay. I'm walking on it.
But this isn't about me. He thinks you screwed up his life? Well I
hate to say it but he's screwing up his own life."
"It's
just that... I've really wanted to talk to them... and they aren't
even staying in the same room anymore." Harry explained
"Is
everything okay? I mean if you really need to talk with
someone..."
"No I'll be okay. At least as okay as I'm
ever going to get."
"Alright. Well I'll talk to Ron, but
I don't think it will do much good."
Harry smiled "Thanks."
"No problem." Charlie left the room and closed the door
behind him. Harry sat up in his bed and looked down at his hands. He
really wanted to talk with someone, anyone, even Ginny. You either
chased them all away or killed them remember? Harry thought. Then
Harry realized something. He hadn't thought about Sirius much the
whole summer. The thought of it made him feel horrible. His godfather
had died and he only thought about it occasionally? He fell back and
looked up at the ceiling. Harry could see Sirius's face again, and
then it faded away. He felt tears falling down his face. He really
wanted to talk to, or at least see, Sirius again. But it's too late;
he's already dead. Harry heard someone knocking. The door opened and
Ginny walked in.
"Harry... can we talk?"
"Sure."
"Are
you mad at me for getting you into trouble? Because I really don't
want you to be mad at me." Harry noticed that she was crying.
"Ron and Hermione hate me, all of my past boyfriends think I'm
horrible, and I just don't want you to be mad at me too." Harry
sat up and hugged her. She fell into his arms and began crying
uncontrollably. Then she fell onto his bed, and Harry lied beside
her. She looked at his face. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah."
"You
look like you've been crying."
"Yeah well -" Ginny
moved closer to him and curled up in his arms.
"Why can't
all boys be like you?" Ginny asked. Harry didn't answer her, and
eventually she fell asleep.
