Ella looked at the mirror before her. She had never been so nervous in her entire life. She was dressed a white dress, not overly fancy, but elegant. The dress complemented her well, and she was going to wear a large hat.

It was about an hour to go before Ella's wedding. She was very nervous and very jittery. She remembered that Suellen said to Susie once that brides were often nervous before the wedding.

Donald and Ella were to be married in one of New Orleans' Catholic churches, it was a small simple ceremony, with no family members attending, just a few acquaintances, mainly on Donald's side.

Nobody from Tara had come, they either couldn't afford it or didn't want to come, or both. She did feel a bit lonesome and lonely. She decided that if she ever had daughters of her own one day, that they would never have a wedding without family members present.

Despite her feelings of nervousness and loneliness, she was happy, she was settling down and hopefully she and her husband would be well-liked, high society members of New Orleans. The children they would have one day would go to the best schools, make friends with the other socialites' children, and they would attend all sorts of parties, charity events, and such with all the other high class people of New Orleans.

At Tara, they did some things like that, but it couldn't be the same as the high class of New Orleans. Ella smiled briefly at the thought of such splendor and openness of New Orleans. Ella was also happy about the new home that was purchased. It was a beautiful light-blue three story manor that was in a very prominent neighborhood of New Orleans. It was simply beautiful. Ella had provided most of the money, and Donald chipped in a little.

Looking at the mirror, Ella's thoughts shifted to Beau Wilkes. Why was that happening? Ella asked. For several weeks, he had been in her thoughts, and several dreams. It wasn't like she was in love with him or anything, so why was he in her thoughts so often? She wondered.

Ella pushed the thoughts of Beau to the back of her head. She was going to be a wife. She always had the dreams of being Joe Fontaine's wife, but that, even back at Tara seemed very unlikely. Ella was very happy knowing she would not become an old spinster.

There was a knock at the door, and then a young servant girl entered. "They're ready for you, Miss Ella." She said simply. Miss Ella, Miss Ella Kennedy. She wouldn't ever be that again after today, she would Mrs. Ella Hedgecock. She turned around and accompanied the girl down a hallway. She came to two double doors, and they opened before her. She never felt so nervous in her life.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two months had passed since her wedding, and life wasn't exactly going as Ella planned it would be going. There house was in an affluent neighborhood, but most of the people were polite, but distant. Apparently because she wasn't Creole she wasn't welcomed with open arms.

That isn't to say that all the people were like that. Southern chivalry did exist in some families. They had Ella over for tea, and they talked about their families, and things that went on in New Orleans. It might have been nice, but still it wasn't going as Ella really intended.

Also, Donald was a lot different. He was very focused on business. Ella always pictured marriage differently. He could be a very imposing man, but also indecisive, irritating as well, but at times, kind and polite. Ella wanted to be happy, but she was finding that hard. She knew she could adapt to him, people were different, and it would take time for her and Donald to get used to one another, Ella decided. One day they would be a happy husband and wife.

Despite this, Ella did see him at times a kind of pussy-footed man, indecisive especially with business. He would complain about problems at work, and Ella found this dull, no matter how much she tried to be interested in it, and she found his babbling very irritating at times. Once again, after the conversations, Ella would realize that it was something he did, and it would take time to get used to it.

Ella seemed to be a changing person. She thought she might be becoming a more mature, responsible individual, more of an adult. She didn't like the thought of being someone like Aunt Pittypat, an eternal child. She had experienced independence, and had enjoyed it.

Ella, even though she had her qualms put on a happy face. She was kind and patient with Simon on the surface, no matter how much he irritated her at times. Life continued this way for a little while.

One day, a servant by the name of Lucy was brushing Ella's hair, and putting it into a particular style that she liked, the butler, Logan knocked and came in. "There are some men here to see you, Miss Ella." That struck Ella as odd; usually callers for her were women, while Donald handled most of the men. "Thank you, Logan, tell them that I'll be done in a moment." "Put my hair into a bun, Lucy, I'll worry about it later." Lucy did so. Ella stood up, and quickly composed herself, and opened the door and went downstairs.

Ella, descending the staircase, saw that there were three men, in work clothes sitting on various furniture in the living room. They all stood up when Ella walked into the room. "Please gentlemen, sit down." Ella said politely. "Now, what is this all about?" She asked as she sat down on a chair.

"Well, Mrs. Hedgecock." One began. "I'm really sorry to have to tell you this." He said as looked nervously around the room. "But, Mr. Hedgecock, he was killed in an accident on the docks today." Ella's eyes went wide open in shock. "Killed?" "Oh my lord." She said as she pulled out a handkerchief. "I'm really sorry, ma'am." The man said politely.

"If you'll excuse me, gentlemen." Ella said as she dashed out the room and up the stairs. She went into the room, and closed the door behind her and locked it. Then fell onto the bed that she and Donald shared.

The following week was like a dream to Ella. Her house became a house of mourning; she wore all black, as well as all the servants. She had the tasks of writing the sad news to all Donald's kin as well as her own. She noticed that Donald's brother was her lawyer in Atlanta, that didn't go unnoticed. She was no longer a wife, but now a widow. She didn't like the idea of being of widow. Widows were supposed to become shut-ins and be constantly weeping for their beloved. Donald Hedgecock wasn't Ella's beloved. She didn't cry once over his death, and Ella felt guilty about that. She felt like she had lost a pet or something like that. The day of the funeral, Ella felt ill. She presumed that she was feeling that way out of guilt.

The ceremony was very solemn, and went as well as funeral could be expected to go. Ella managed to cry at the funeral, making her seem like the heartbroken housewife who lost her husband. A lot more people showed up than Ella had expected. A lot of the neighbors who had rejected them came, probably out of respect.

After the funeral, guests came into the house, but Ella didn't want to see them, so she went into her room after giving them a brief hello. The people were thoroughly convinced it was out of heartbreak. Locked in her room, she heard tidbits of conversation that proclaimed she was so young, and so unfortunate to lose her husband at such an age, and how she would come to understand her husband's death one day.

It wasn't that. Ella understood and accepted Donald's death, but she felt sick, sick from guilt. She felt horrible about not feeling bad about Donald's death. She was standing against the door, trying to listen to some conversation tidbits, when Ella suddenly felt sick. She ran to the chamber pot just in time, and she threw up in it.

Deciding that rest should help, she wiped her mouth, composed herself, and lay down on the bed. She did fall asleep not to long afterwards. Over the following days, she did have the sickness of guilt come and go, but she realized it wasn't guilt not long afterwards, she realized that she was with child.