"Cho?"
Harry asked. He was chasing her down the halls on a cold Saturday
afternoon in November. Why is she being like this? Why won't she
talk to me? Harry thought. "Cho? Cho stop please! I need to
talk to you." But she just kept walking. Harry lost her in a
large crowd. He gave up and turned away from the group. Why is she
like this? he thought. I month ago she wanted to be with me
every day. Now she runs away from me. Harry looked up and noticed
that he had walked onto the seventh floor, and the door to the Room
of Requirement was in front of him. He opened it and walked inside.
"Hello?" No one answered. The room was quiet and warm.
There was a very large bed in the middle of it. Harry looked at the
bed. I guess this is what I want, Harry thought. He climbed
into the bed and immediately fell asleep.
When he woke up, the
room looked the same. He turned onto his side and looked at the fire.
There was something in the fire... someone's face... Harry sat up and
looked harder. It looked a lot like... no you're seeing things it
can't be... Harry shook his head and looked back at the fire. The
face was gone. I am seeing things, Harry thought. He lied back
down and closed his eyes. Why does everything end up like this?
he thought. Why couldn't it have been me, Dumbledore, anyone
except Sirius. The more Harry thought about it, the more he
realized that Sirius had been his way into the adult world, his
information and support. And now he's dead because of me. His
thoughts turned to the prophecy. Voldemort only killed my parents
because he was after me, and they were in his way. Wow I must be on
some kind of killing streak. Pretty soon everyone will be dead. And
then it will just be me and Voldemort, and then I'll die so it will
only be Voldemort... that's great I was put on this earth to kill and
then be killed... great just great. Harry looked into the fire
again. Why is Cho so distant? Why is everyone so distant? Is there
something I don't know about? Well knowing what happened last year...
oh Harry there's been this group that's been following you for like
ever and the teacher who predicts your death actually did predict it
once... last year no one had told him anything. It's my life!
I should at least know what's going on. And now it's happening again.
Even Ginny has stopped talking to me. Harry sighed. What is
going on? All I want is to know what's happening and to have some one
to talk about it with... I used to have that. Ron and Hermione used
to listen to me all the time. But not anymore. They're too busy with
each other to even care. Why are they doing this? Harry glanced
at the clock that was hanging above the fire. It was already eight
o'clock. He wondered if anyone was looking for him... if anyone
cared... he felt tears running down his face. Stop it, he told
himself. You're not supposed to cry... boys aren't supposed to
cry. He took a deep breath and climbed out of the bed. Stop
it, he told himself again. He whipped his tears away. Stop it
already. He walked out of the room and back to the common
room.
Harry
walked into the common room. He tried to walk quickly and quietly so
that he wouldn't be noticed. He snuck into his dormitory and sat down
on his cold bed. Ron came bursting into the room. "Where were
you?" he asked
"What?"
"We had practice
tonight and you didn't come."
"Oh... sorry I
forgot."
"You can't keep forgetting all of the time! We
need practice if we're going to win the cup this year."
"I
don't care about quidditch." Harry
muttered
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You
don't care? Then why are you on the team?"
"Good
question." Harry said
"If you're going to have this
kind of attitude about winning then -"
"Ron I don't care
about winning!" Harry screamed. "I don't care about winning
and I don't care about quidditch!"
"Then why are you
wasting your time on the team?" Ron asked
"Because I
used to like to play... until this year. Funny... I thought what's
really going on in my life mattered more to you than if we win or
not... guess I was wrong." Harry got up and left the
room.
"Where are you going?" Ron asked
"To tell
McGonagall that I quit." Harry said. He had only gotten three
feet away from the Fat Lady when Ron came running out.
"Harry
wait! Listen I... I don't want you to quit. I just... I dunno. I
don't know what's been wrong with me lately. Geeze you must hate me
after all I've put you through." Harry didn't answer. Instead he
kept walking. But he wasn't going to McGonagall. He just wanted to be
alone, to have some time to think. He walked out onto the quidditch
pitch and sat in the stands. He remembered how fun quidditch had
been. Now it wasn't fun anymore. Nothing was. When I was a first,
second, and third year, everything had been fun. Nothing was serious.
Even Fluffy didn't seem that scary anymore. That's when this all
started... this whole I must be heroic thing... Why do I even care if
other people die? Why am I always saving the day? He sighed and
wished he had someone to ask all of this... someone to talk to... but
you killed him, remember?
