For the Good of Gondor

by Irena

AU, set after the War of the Ring. An update two years in the making....

18. chapter 18

Disclaimer:  I don't own Middle Earth, I don't own the place, the people, yadda yadda.  I suck on canon. The usual.     Pls see bottom for more notes….

……

The baby squealed and laughed brightly as she wriggled on the thick carpet.  Light from the fire gilded her hair into a mass of shiny curls and her pink arms pumped in rhythm with her giggles as Legolas lowered his head to brush his lips against her feet again.  He kissed one small foot, then the other and then the first again, and then pushed the feet down to smile at his daughter.  Her giggles increased in volume and the happiness he felt at the sound almost erased the unpleasant itchy feeling of being watched from between his shoulder blades. 

He hated being watched.  He hated being watched so closely that he was unable to even turn around without seeing one of the women scrutinizing his every move.  It had been several weeks since the incident that no one dared discuss, but he still felt their eyes on him almost constantly.  He hated being unable to move freely to make arrangements for what he needed to do.  He could move stealthily when needed, but it was difficult at best in these circumstances.

 His feelings about being watched so closely by Aragorn were strong as well, but confusing at the same time.  On one hand, Legolas resented the almost constant presence of the man.  He seemed set on spending every spare moment of every day watching over-- nay, smothering—the Elf, as if it were some lack of attention that had driven Legolas to such depths of despair.    On the other, some hidden portion seemed to enjoy the man's company.  Perhaps their long friendship still made him feel as though there was something still there, some common thread that they still shared.  Or, a perverse voice whispered in the back of his mind, the woman inside liked the attention and wanted it to continue, to intensify.   He closed his eyes at the thought and shook his head.   She would not win this game.  She COULD not win this game.

He looked down again at his daughter.  Her eyes were so much like his but sparkled with an innocence he would never again possess.  She reached up and easily caught one of his braids and drew it into her mouth, sucking on the fine hair with great enjoyment.   He could feel his lips curling into a smile as she tried to grab at the shadows the firelight cast on his hair with her other hand.  

He drew a tender foot to his mouth again, bestowed another feather light kiss on the sole, and then offered a small silver rattle to replace his braid.   Luthiél looked for a moment as though she might wail in protest, but then grasped the shiny object and flailed it around, nearly hitting her own face several times in the process. 

Straightening, he spoke quietly.  "Don't be so concerned, Aragorn.  I would never harm her."  He arched his back, trying to make the itch into a kink that could be stretched out and forgotten.   After a moment he turned to face the grey eyes that still had not left him.  "If you recall, I am in my present predicament because I couldn't harm her.  I certainly won't start now." 

The king leaned into the ring of firelight.  He had lingered in the shadows, allowing the play of the flames to paint his face with shadows and valleys.  His chair squeaked as he moved forward.  "You would deny her your presence.  Is that not harmful?  Do you not think she would suffer without you?"

Legolas found he could not meet the eyes that now cut through him.  "That was not my intention.  You know that.  I have told you many times."  Against his will, his eyes turned again to Luthiél.  "I will not leave her.  She has worked her way into my heart and I cannot bear the thought of her coming to harm at the hands of some functionary who thinks only of advancing the welfare of some other family or of political gain.  I will not allow that to happen." 

There was a sound of pleasure from the figure that still lingered half in the shadows.  "Then you will stay."

"I did not say that."  Legolas turned cold eyes on the man. 

"You cannot take her to Valinor.  You forget that she is my child and belongs to Gondor.  She belongs here."   Aragorn sighed deeply.  "I cannot stop you from leaving, but I will not allow you to take her from me."

"And you think that she would find acceptance here?  You forget that she is also my child and half-Elven on top of that."  Challenge was obvious in the erect carriage and blazing eyes of the Elf.  "She is different by the very circumstance of her birth.  Do you think she would not notice that she was unusual?  Will she not realize that she is the only one of her kind here?  How cruel can you be?"

Aragorn fluidly rose from his chair and came to kneel by Luthiél.  His callused hand ran through her soft curls as he spoke.  "You spent so long denying she existed, and then you denied that she was yours.  Then you denied that you had any feeling for her.  Now you would claim her so completely that there is no more room for me in her life?"  He smiled down at the child as she firmly gripped his finger and yanked it into her mouth.  "Don't think that I will give her up so easily."  He raised his eyes to the figure that seemed to both lean towards him and away from him at the same time, if that were possible.

"And what will you do with her?  You say she cannot be your heir because she is female.  She is useless to you."  The soft voice was almost biting in its bitterness. 

Frowning, the king leaned over and kissed his daughter on the forehead.   Luthiél cooed up at her father and hit him on the chin with her rattle.  He smiled down at her indulgently and then continued.  "She is not useless.  She is everything to me."  He looked back up at the Elf again.  "She may not be able to inherit, but she can forge a strong marriage alliance some day in the future.  No royal child is ever useless, regardless of gender."

Legolas glared at the man on the other side of the carpet.  "So you would raise her to be a 'proper woman'?  Make her timid and weak, afraid of her own shadow and then marry her off so that she can spend out all her days bearing children for a man she does not love, each year becoming more lifeless and worn?"  His voice thickened in disgust.  "I would not have that fate for a dog, much less for my child." 

Anger colored the grey eyes and made them flash in the firelight as the king glared at the Elf.  "You think so little of me, Legolas.  I would never expect such things for any woman in my life, least of all her."   He looked down at his daughter and ran his fingers through her curls again.  "Besides, I expected that you would teach her all the things that she should know in the world.  She will need to learn archery and riding, as well as how to fight.  I can think of no one better than you.  Together, we can teach her so much more than one of us could alone." 

Eyes dark with some unnamed emotion, Legolas leaned forward and whispered, "And what will you teach her, Aragorn?  The same lessons you've taught me?  Will you teach her not to trust anyone?  Will you teach her to look in every corner for a knife or dagger aimed at her heart?  What has she done to deserve such lessons?"  The words were precisely enunciated yet softly spoken.

The man seemed to age for a moment, the firelight deepening lines and etching pain into his face.  "Whether or not you like it, Legolas, we are bound together through her.   We can either work together to overcome our differences for her benefit or we can sit here and make each other bleed until there is nothing left of what we were."   Aragorn lowered his hand again to touch his daughter's soft cheek.  "I would wager she would prefer the first option." 

There was nothing from the other side of the carpet but the soft exhalation of breath, too soft to be a sob.  "Sometimes I think there is nothing left of what I was."   Legolas sat ramrod straight and looked up.  The eyes were still hard but were filled with unshed tears.   "I find myself struggling to remember what I was like before I came here, but it gets harder with every passing day."  He looked at the man across from him, but there was no longer any heat in his gaze, only sadness.  "What will you do when I can no longer remember myself?  Will you rejoice?"

Aragorn leaned forward and firmly clasped the shoulder across from him, ignoring the stiffening and flinch of the body beneath his hand.  "No."  He tried to pour every ounce of sincerity he had through his hand and into the Elf.  "I would never rejoice at such a thing.  I would see as the death of one of my dearest friends.  I do not want that to happen." 

Without thought Legolas leaned his face towards the hand on his shoulder, almost as if drawn to the heat that radiated from it.  After a moment, he spoke.  "It is not all your fault, as much as I would like to blame you.  I allowed this to happen as much as you did."  He closed his eyes and sighed.  "I consented to much of this so that I could find a way to free you from Davyn's spell.  And then I allowed myself to be manipulated by those I should not have trusted.  I gave in much, much too easily."  He started as he opened his eyes and shrugged the hand off his shoulder.  The eyes were hard again, unforgiving.  "Do not expect that I shall give in again, not without a fight."

With a grim smile, Aragorn withdrew his hand.  "I would expect nothing less from a Prince and a warrior, my friend."  He turned his attention to the child that lay between them, her bright eyes now closed in slumber.  "I would have us in unison for her sake.  Can we not come to some understanding -- for her?" 

Legolas stood fluidly and moved across the room, turning his back to the man.   He came to stand by the bed and regarded it for a long moment.  Finally he spoke, still not facing the one at the fire.   "I am not opposed to an understanding with you, provided you can do one thing." 

"What would you have of me?"  Aragorn stood slowly, cocking his head to one side.

"I would have the truth from you for once."  Legolas turned.  "Why me?  Davyn said there were others you could have had, but you chose me.  Why?"  He crossed his arms and waited. 

Aragorn flinched.  "I do not know." 

"You lie."  Legolas shook his head.  "How can you expect me to trust you, to go through the charade you call an 'agreement' if you cannot answer a simple question.  Why me?"

The king carefully stepped around the slumbering child and leaned his head against the mantel.  "I have no answer for your question, Legolas."

"You lie."  The voice was low as not to wake Luthiél, but was filled with venom all the same.  "After all that you have done, why is it that you cannot tell me this one thing?  All I ask is the truth."  He tilted his head.  "I think I deserve the truth after all that I have been through.  It is little enough.  Why me?"

Turning back to the Elf, Aragorn shook his head.  "You know not what you ask, Legolas.  It is not a simple answer."

"I know full well what I ask, Aragorn.  I ask only for the truth.  Why me?"  He choked down on the urge to scream and instead stepped forward, hands clutched into tight fists.  "Why did you choose me?"

"Why did I choose you?  Look at yourself and ask that question," Aragorn snapped.  "*Look* at yourself.  You are beautiful and you were before this happened.  You were wise and strong, but kind.  You were my friend who I could tell anything and you would not judge.  You were mysterious and Elvish in all the ways that inspire awe, but young enough to remember how to laugh and smile.  You were my equal in most things and my better in some.  You were everything that a man could ever want of a partner."  The king paused, horrified at the torrent of words that gushed from his mouth.  He shook his head sadly.   "You were everything I ever wanted except you were a man."

Legolas froze, eyes glittering like ice chips in the shadows that played on his face.  One hand worked its way up to the bedpost as he held his breath.

"You were everything I ever wanted, except you were a man," Aragorn repeated.  "We fought side by side as brothers, and you were as much a part of me as Arwen -- perhaps even more because we shared things that she never could understand."  The man swallowed and plunged on, stepping towards Legolas as he spoke.  "I remember regretting once that your father had sons and not daughters, but I never considered you anything but a friend, I swear it."

Time stood still for the Elf as he turned his eyes and looked at his hand.  Long, slender fingers gilded by the firelight wrapped around the wood of the bedpost, the small knuckles gleaming white.   He brought his hand in front of him and turned it this way and that.   The nails were immaculately manicured and ended in delicate points.  Even the calluses seemed somehow more fragile.  A woman's hand.  He raised his eyes to find Aragorn standing in front of him, watching him carefully. 

"You were everything I ever wanted, Legolas.  I just never thought to find it in a woman."  The king gently grasped the small hand in front of him and engulfed it in his own much larger one.   The other hand gently found a delicate chin and lifted the small face to meet his gaze.  He furrowed his brow as the Elf trembled in his hands.

"I don't understand." Legolas barely whispered the words but they were as clear as if he had shouted.  "I don't understand how you could see me in that way."  His voice grew louder as he spoke.  "I am not beautiful.  I am not delicate.  How is it that you could see something so different than what I am?" 

Aragorn sighed.  "I do not know how to answer that question, Legolas.  All I know is what I see now." The man winced and gently rubbed his thumb on the tip of the Elf's chin.   He spoke softly, almost as if to himself.  "What a warrior queen I have given Gondor.  A far better queen than either it or I deserve."  He rubbed gently as Legolas closed his eyes and leaned ever so slightly into the touch. 

Legolas finally opened his eyes and looked at the man with tortured eyes.  "I don't understand."   He then jerked his head and hand away as if he had been burned.  "Get out."  

"Legolas…" The king reached to comfort the elf, but his hand was shrugged off. 

"Leave me.  We will come to an understanding tomorrow.  I… I cannot think rationally now.  I don't want to do anything rash."  Legolas turned his back to the man and found his escape route blocked by the bedpost. 

Once again, Aragorn laid a hand on the narrow shoulder.  "I know you cannot understand.  It is not the way of your people to think in these ways.  Simple lust must be almost unfathomable to you."  He squeezed and then started rubbing Legolas' arm with a gentle pressure.  He leaned in and spoke softly, a mere fingers breadth from a delicate ear.  "But my feelings for you were never simple, I swear."

Legolas shivered as he felt the hot breath slide across his ear.  Something woke inside and slithered beneath his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up and gooseflesh rise on his arms.  ::No.  Not her.  Not now.  I will not let her do this::  "Don't touch me."  His voice sounded weak and confused to his own ears.  He turned and looked at the man, failing to suppress a shudder as he did so.  "Please, just get out."

Aragorn felt the shudder run through the small frame, and was shocked to see pain so evident in the eyes that turned towards him.  Yet the lithe body leaned closer to him, almost as if drawn despite the words that fell from the tight lips. "You war within yourself.  What do you fight?  I would help if you would but let me.   I cannot bear to see you in such pain."

"Then don't look, Aragorn."  The Elf glanced at the empty area where the mirror once stood..  "I am alone.  Utterly alone.  There is no one here who knows who I am.  They see only what they want me to be."

"You are not alone.  I am here, I know who you are and I would have you no other way."   Aragorn lifted his hand and caressed a pale cheek, then ever so gently brushed a lock of golden hair behind a delicate ear, allowing his fingers the lightest contact with the edge and pointed tip.  "Do not reject what I offer you out of hand."

Legolas closed his eyes and shuddered.  In the pit of his stomach something tensed and then uncurled, sending warmth throughout his body.    ::No.  NO!  Go away!  I don't want you.::

"And what would you offer me?"  Legolas pushed the feeling away from him, and opened his eyes.   "Would you free me from this if it were in your power, I wonder?"   Slender fingers came to rest on the golden collar, the nails making the slightest tapping noise on the metal as they made contact.  The pale skin bore only the slightest trace of the brutal scar that had marred it in the weeks before.   "And more importantly, what price would such a service bear?   What would you have of me in return?"

Aragorn narrowed his eyes and frowned.  "You are cruel in your mockery.   I would only help you, nothing more."

"Cruel?  I am cruel?"   The blue eyes widened.  "I am trapped in a strange place, in a body that is not my own, surrounded by those who are not my kind.  I am utterly alone except for my own mind, and I fear that too has turned against me.  I feel more of what I am bleeding away every day, and I wonder what I will become when there is nothing left."  Legolas paused and then sighed.  "Perhaps I am cruel.  I know not my own mind anymore."

"Perhaps if you stopped fighting whatever it is you war against, your pain would stop and your mind would be clear again."  The words fell into the room like bitterly cold snowflakes and Legolas felt a chill run up his spine.  The man continued.  "Perhaps if you accepted what has happened, we could then turn our efforts to finding a way to make things more bearable as things stand -- to keep you from losing what you have of yourself." 

Legolas froze as the man's hand again traced the barest outline of his ear.  "You would have me give up this fight and become what you have made me?"  He was unable to tell if his shudder was from the thought or from the touch.

"I would not have you in so much pain."  The grey eyes bore into the Elf's.  "I would have you as happy as I could make you, and I would like to have you here for Luthiél."  The man sighed again and stroked the golden hair beneath his hand absently.  "I cannot change this.  I wish that none of this ever happened, but mere wishing will not make that come to pass.  I have had the lands searched for anyone who could free you from this spell, but it seems that Davyn was unique in both his art and venom."

"Elrond or Gandalf would know how to defeat his spell.  Or even Galadriel." Legolas ignored the hand on his hair as he considered the possibilities. 

"Perhaps.  But you would have to leave Luthiél here.  Even if I were to allow you to take her with you, which I will not, she is too young to travel." 

Whipping his hair from the man's hand with a jerk of his head, Legolas snapped.  "I will not leave her.  I cannot leave her." 

"Then you stay."  Aragorn said the words with firm finality.   "And we come to an understanding so Luthiél will be happy.  So that WE will be happy."

"You mean so that YOU will be happy.  I understand you well enough, Man.  The urge to dispel your guilt over my betrayal must eat at you day and night."  Legolas could feel his lip curl in distaste as he spoke.

Grey eyes went as cold and hard as the ice that covered the pond outside and the man drew himself tall and proud.  "I would not have you say such things.   You know as well as I that there were times you were not entirely unwilling."  A grim smile ghosted the thin lips.  "I'm sure you remember them well."

Blindingly fast, Legolas buried his fist in the man's stomach, knuckles seeming to drive through skin and muscle.  Aragorn's eyes widened equally in pain and surprise as he doubled over.  It was an easy enough matter for the Elf to shove him the rest of the way to the ground, straddle the broad chest and wrap slender, pale, delicate hands around the throat of the king.

Legolas bent forward and whispered, "All I know is that I could kill you so easily, if I desired."  The tone was quiet and at total odds with the storm that roiled in the wild blue eyes.  

Aragorn lay on his back and felt the cold from the stone floor radiate up through his back and into his chest.  He swallowed hard and looked up at the vision of beauty that stared at him with eyes that didn't seem to see him at all.  "Legolas."  He spoke around the thumb that had lodged itself firmly in his windpipe and realized the chill in his bones was not just from the floor, but from a slowly dawning sense of fear.  

The blue eyes blinked and looked through him.  "I could crush the life out of you right now.  And then I would be free."  Legolas said it almost as if the thought had never occurred to him before and the fingers seemed to tighten of their own accord.  "I would be myself again if you were dead, wouldn't I?"  He shook the neck in his hands violently when there was no immediate answer.  "WOULDN'T I?"

The king struggled for air, each breath more painful than the last, as the grip seemed to grow tighter with each beat of his heart.   The slender fingers were branding their way into his flesh, the nails biting small semi-circles of pain into his neck.  It took all his will to keep his hands still and not fight the Elf that sat lightly on his chest and crushed the life from his body with hands that looked too delicate to cause any harm at all.  Only a small gurgle escaped his lips as he tried to speak, so he simply nodded.

At that sound, Legolas blinked and then looked down at him with eyes that were suddenly sane again.  The flutter of the man's pulse tickled across his fingers and drew him back, beat by beat, to himself and what he was doing.  The grip slowly loosened and air burned its way back into Aragorn's lungs.  

"Why?"  The words came out as a croak from the king's abused throat.  "Why do you not just finish it now?  Surely you would be happier if I were dead." 

Legolas released the man's neck as if he had been burned and crawled to sit on the floor against the bedstead.  Drawing his knees up to his chest, he considered the question for a long moment and then answered.  "I do not know.  I think that if I were to do such a thing, I would lose even more of my self than if I stay the way I am.  As much as I want to be free, I could not bear the price I would pay for such an action."  He leaned his forehead on his arms and sighed.  "I am defeated." 

Aragorn sat up, rubbed his sore throat and crawled to kneel next to the huddled form that seemed to shrink in upon itself as he watched.   "You will have to learn not to do such things.  The servants will talk."

There was a slight snort from behind the folded arms.  Legolas looked up and raised an eyebrow at the man. 

The king arranged himself to sit in front of the Elf and then met the eyes squarely.  "You will stay.  It is the only way."

Legolas stared at the man for a long moment before lowering his eyes to look at the floor.  "I will stay." 

The king tried to capture the small chin in his hand but Legolas shook his head, refusing to look at the man.  "And we come to an understanding now." His voice was still scratchy. 

"What would you have of me?"  Legolas' voice was soft but filled with pain. 

Aragorn winced at the tone.  "I will not hurt you, Legolas.  Nor would I make you do that which you find distasteful or wrong."

"What would you have of me, then?  Do not toy with me, just tell me."  Legolas looked up and his eyes flashed for a moment before he looked back down at the floor, his very posture proclaiming his defeat.

With a sad smile, Aragorn spoke.  "Don't do that.  I would rather die than see your spirit extinguished."  He shook his head and continued.  "I would simply have you act in front of others as if there is harmony between us.   I would have you be my glittering Elf Queen and blind all with your beauty and wit."  His hand came up of its own accord and gently brushed a pale cheek.  "I would not have you in such pain or conflict anymore."

Legolas shuddered under the touch and turned his face towards the hearth, watching as the fire seemed to die before his eyes.  "You never ask anything for yourself, do you?  It's always for the good of someone else."

There was no answer from the figure across from him and the tense silence stretched between them.

Finally Legolas spoke again.  "If I do what you want, what benefit do I get?"  He buried his face in his arms as he waited.

"Peace for yourself and happiness for Luthiél."  The man leaned forward.  "I would think that would be reward enough."

There was a long silence from the huddled figure and then, just when Aragorn thought to speak again to break the quiet, one word fell from the hidden lips.  "Fine." 

Aragorn blinked and cocked his head.  "What?"

"I said 'Fine'."  Legolas did not raise his head to look at the man, but merely spoke from between his folded arms.

"Is that it?" The king could not help the surprise that was in his voice.  "You have nothing else to say?"

"What would you have me say?  Would you have me curse you and swear and implore the Valar to strike you down for this?"  This time Legolas did look up briefly and then hid his face again.  "I will do as you ask, for Luthiél's sake and her sake alone." 

Aragorn raised an eyebrow and rubbed his throat thoughtfully.  "That was entirely too easy.  I am still alive and unperforated.  Are you deceiving me in some way, Legolas?"

There was a strangled laugh from the huddled form in front of him as the Elf raised his head to meet his eyes.  "Me?  Deceive you?  Since when have I misled you or lied to you since this entire ordeal began?  It is simple.  You have won, I have lost.  There is nothing else to be said."

Gently, Aragorn reached forward to reverently touch the golden hair and trace the barest edge of a small ear.  Goose bumps raised themselves on a pale arm and neck in response to his touch.  "There are no winners here.  Only those who would make the best of the position we have been given."   He smiled tightly.  "Sometimes surrender is not so bad, Legolas.   You'll see."  

Something odd flashed in the blue eyes that watched him so warily, but disappeared so quickly he thought he might have imagined it.  After another strained silence, he stood up.  "To show you that I trust you and your word, after this night you shall be left alone if you so wish.  I know you would do nothing to harm Luthiél or yourself.  I trust you implicitly.  I know that you have no deceit in you."

The Elf stood slowly and nodded.  "Thank you."

On impulse the man leaned over and placed his finger on the rosebud lips.  "Do not thank me.  If not for me none of this would have happened.  I know this."  His finger traced the soft outline of the pink skin as he spoke.  "I would make things right as best I could." 

Legolas shuddered at the touch, but simply nodded. 

"Good night, Legolas." With those simple words, the man turned and retired to his own chambers.  The oaken door made a solid thunk as it closed and then was locked from the other side.

Lips warm and tingling with unwelcome sensation, Legolas narrowed his eyes and glared at the door.  The sound of movement in the other room continued, and then stopped, eventually followed by the sound of snores.

With a fluid motion, Legolas crossed the room to the door to the sitting room and threw the bolt, locking out any who would disturb him.

His attention was drawn back to the fireplace and the baby who slept there. 

Silently, he built up the fire and marveled at how the warm golden light turned her pale skin into a color so much like her father's.  He then shook his head.  Such thoughts were not good to consider.  If he thought about that, then he would think about how much her father loved her and how much they would miss each other.  He could not bear to follow such thoughts to their natural conclusion.

He paused and listened intently, but the hour was late and there were none awake or near to hear what happened next.

He counted three flagstones from the corner of the hearth and tugged hard.  With a small grinding sound the stone wriggled and then came loose, revealing a small cavity underneath with a small leather bag hidden there. 

He gripped the bag and opened it, spilling the contents onto the hearth.  Two small rings glinted there, and a handful of silver and gold coins, a spool of golden thread, and some silk ribbons.   A small glass vial with a clear liquid completed the set.

The first ring was picked up and closely examined.  A small ruby nestled in a setting of finely worked gold.  It had been easy enough to keep the ring last time Valda had dressed him up for some important occasion or another.  It was small enough to not be noticed missing, yet big enough to have value. 

He then picked up the other ring, a square emerald in a basket of finely worked gold.  He held the two rings together and showed them to the sleeping child.  "These two should buy our way past the city gate, I hope.  I think I can get some more before we leave.  The more, the better."   He lightly touched the coins.  "And these should buy us some food and necessities as we travel to the Havens."  The thread and ribbons were next.  "And this should get us past the maid who sleeps in front of the doorway every night.  She should be easily bought."  His eyes fell on the glass bottle.  "And this will take care of Aragorn."  Guilt filled him as he spoke the words.

With a sigh, he regarded the pitifully small pile, and then touched his fingers to his lips.  They still tingled from the man's touch.  The guilt was burned away by slowly growing dread.  ::We need to go, and soon.::

Shaking his head, Legolas reached down to run a finger over the plump cheek of the baby.  "He is right on one thing.  You are still too young to travel and it is too cold.  We'll have to wait a while longer."  He returned his hand to his own lips to touch them again.  They were warm and soft against his fingers.  "I think I can wait.  I know I can play his game while you grow strong."  He shook his head sadly.  "I have no deceit in me, he says.   How little he knows."

He ran his hand up his arm softly, almost in a caress.  "And I can endure his attentions, and even his touch if I must."   Something slid beneath his skin again as he thought of the man's hands on his body again.  Every hair on his arms stood on end and a shiver went down his spine.  "Grow quickly, Luthiél.  I can wait, but I don't know if she can."  The words were barely whispered, and the baby slept on.

……………..

Notes….

I'm sorry this took so long to update.  I hope this small snippit makes things more endurable, and I'm working on the next part, I swear!  Those who know me or have been following my LiveJournal would know what happened, but I'll just sum up quickly. 

I went to the midnight premiere of The Two Towers on December 18, 2002.  I woke up the next morning unable to turn my head.  This developed into extreme pain, numbness and loss of use of my right hand.  After seven weeks off work, extreme pain, an MRI panic attack followed by an open MRI on a double dosage of Valium, it was discovered that I had somehow herniated a disc in my neck  and it was pressing on my spinal cord.    I have had some recovery and am working half days, and undergoing physical therapy to see if that will help clear this up.  Otherwise, I'm looking at injections in my spine or surgery, neither of which are really happy, fuzzy concepts for me.

So that is my roundabout explanation about why this has taken so long to update.  I apologize.  I really do. 

I know several people have emailed me and I WILL answer them, I swear.  I'm just a little slowed down at times, good days and bad, you know.   Some days it hurts to type, some days I can't feel my thumb, and some days I'm just fine.

This story will be finished…   I swear it.

Also… again, for the record…. I know I've said this before but… this is an AU. ALTERNATE UNIVERSE.  Meaning that it is by my rules.  I know my way around the works of JRR, but I'm not a huge Canon snob.  I will make things fit as I can, but my heart is not going to break if I get a few things wrong.  I also stated before that I personally don't like working so much with the Canon characters because I don't want to take them rabidly Out Of Character (OOC).   

As to Lanelese's hair color, Yes, she is a champagne blonde.  And she's cute as a button too.  Just ask her, and she'll tell you all about how cute she is.  Seriously.    She and Clotild are real people, transplanted, personality and all, into my story. 

And I do love all my reviewers, even if I don't always respond promptly to you.  Thank you for being so patient with me.