(I do not own FB. I do not follow the Manga, and I have twisted the character's personalities to fit how I believe they might react in this situation. I think that covers everything.)

Chapter 9: I just can't love you.

Kagura sat in absolute silence. She stared out the window in Kyou's room, where she had stayed the night alone, just staring out that window, thinking about what she had become now. Kyou was a constant in her thoughts. But what drifted through her head now were not thoughts of love.

Meanwhile, downstairs, the rest of the household had just finished a silent breakfast. Kyou ate as he glared at the table, lost in his own thoughts of how he could have possibly prevented this from happening. Tohru stared at her plate, picking at the food, but not eating much. Shigure refused to eat at all, feeling entirely responsible for what had happened. Yuki stared at the wall across from him, sighing occasionally as he pondered what might be done too Haru, who was taken back to the main estate for punishment, though Hatori had had to take it upon himself to bestow the punishment, as Akito wouldn't do so.

Tohru blinked and stood up, taking her still half full plate into the kitchen. And emerging shortly with a full dish, only to be met by curious gazes from the others, "Kagura needs to eat too. I doubt she'll feel like it, but she really does need food so she can keep up her strength and try to recover." The young girl explained.

Yuki nodded, and Kyou stood up walking over to Tohru and holding his had out for the plate, "I want to take it to her."

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Yuki said quietly as he looked at the floor, "I don't think she wants much male contact right now, understandably so."

Tohru nodded and replied softly "I think maybe Yuki is right. It's not that you've done anything wrong of course, Kyou! But I just don't know if-"

"I want to take her the damn food!" Kyou snapped before managing to calm himself down, "I know that she doesn't need a guy right now. But it's me. I mean, I'm the boy she's always loved, right? I need to be there for her." His tone carried unmistakable sadness. Regret that he hadn't notice his own feelings sooner. It seemed to almost plead that he wouldn't lose her because of this.

Tohru relented and handed him the plate. Yuki rolled is eyes in a 'here we go' expression and settled back onto the floor beside the table. Kyou made his way to his room and tapped on the door, "Kagura? It's me, Kyou."

"Go away." The voice that seeped out of the room through the closed door was cracked and strained, worn out from the crying. It was such a weak voice, not at all the one he was used to."

"I brought food." The cat said persistently, as he knocked again. At least she was speaking calmly now instead of screaming. This was progress.

"I'm not hungry." She mumbled so that he could barely hear her. Inside the room she continued to stare out the window. The wind rustled through the leaves outside. It was a beautiful day outside, but Kagura didn't care. In her mind, it was raining, a storm of thoughts that wouldn't stop. One thought ringing through that she didn't want to have, but couldn't get rid of. Tears still trickled in a steady stream down her cheeks.

Kyou walked into the room, he wasn't going to let her deter him, "Kagura, you have to eat. You haven't eaten since yesterday." He walked over and sat the dish on the floor in front of her, along with the chopsticks, and hoped she would eat.

Kagura's gaze never left the window as she pushed the food aside with her foot, "I said I'm not hungry."

Kyou went to put a hand on her shoulder, but she pulled away before he could. It was obvious she still didn't want touched, but at least she wasn't screaming at him. He let out a heavy sigh, joining her in staring out the window as he spoke, "Kagura. Don't keep doing this. I…I know you're angry. I should have been there to stop it. I'm sorry."

She was silent. Not that she thought it was his fault, she wanted so bad to let him know that that was the furthest thing from her mind. He wasn't at all responsible. The truth was it was all her fault. But when she opened her mouth to speak about what had happened, all that came out was a small whimper.

"Right, I just thought…you know. I figured I should let you know that I wished I had been there to stop it." Kyou moved to get up, glancing at her as he did so, and continued to speak. "I would give anything to take it back, to be able to make it so this never happened…I just wanted to tell you that. And…and, I realized…maybe I care...a lot more than I've let on."

"Oh." Kagura choked out as tears welled up in her eyes and she trembled slightly. "Oh, Kyou!" She managed to get out at last with a strangled sob, "It…it's not your fault! I…I shouldn't have let it happen! And. I'm so sorry, Kyou! I want to say I still love you! I really do…but…"

Kyou stood there, slightly stunned at this outburst. She wasn't screaming, just quietly crying, and choking out words between ragged sob, "Kagura…no…" It wasn't her fault! How could she even think that! And she couldn't be about to say what he thought she was. Kagura would never, never say that! She was a constant in his life!

"Kyou, I just can't!" She sobbed her body quivering as she buried hear face against her knees, "I can't…" This was the thought that had haunted the boar all night and morning. She could say that she still loved Kyou. She wanted to believe that she could, but it was impossible. Things could never be the same.

Kyou stepped towards her, he wanted to hold her, to let her know that he truly loved her, and that they could get through this, "Kagura, you couldn't have stopped it…and…please…just don't give up yet. I…I'm here for you, forever."

"Please, just leave…I can't handle this. I can't love you Kyou, I can't! It hurts too much to love…anyone!" She stammered the words with surprising calm as she remained with her face buried in her knees.

Kyou sighed and made his way to the door. He opened it, and paused, turning back to face her, "Kagura, if you change your mind again, I'll be waiting for you."

The young girl heard the door slip shut and broke down into body shaking sobs. The one thing she thought would always be in her life, her love for Kyou, was gone. Well, not gone so much as subdued. The feelings were still there, but they frightened her. The thought of being close to people scared her.

((Finally, another chappie up! Anyways, too many people to respond to individual reviews. It will be a while until my next one too. I'm having trouble with the story, and I can't figure out how to get them together, or if I should get them