Well… long writer's block. It took me nearly three years to update this. I'm going to try and finish this up this summer, but I offer no promises. This story is and always has been a AU. Although information in book five could have changed the outcome of this story, I'm choosing to ignore the prophecy and simply focus on Lily and her recovery.

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter world.

Chapter Six

Actions Speak Louder

In the perfect picture, sunlight would have shone through the window, awaking Lily from her slumber. Lily would have then gotten out of bed, humming perfectly in tune with the sparrows and robins that were perched on her windowsill. She would then make her way to the kitchen where a feast would be waiting and Sirius and Remus would be waiting there. Sirius would be ready to apologize for the mayhem he'd caused the other night. Remus would be standing next to him, proclaiming his undying love for her. Lily smiled in her sleep, temporarily forgetting why Sirius was mad at her in the first place. In the few moments before she remembered why she had gone to bed crying, Lily enjoyed a short moment of complete bliss.

Then she remembered.

The other nights argument came back to her full force. Sirius' accusations had hit her full force, just as the sunlight had brutally awoke her. Lily pushed her long hair out of her face and ran to the window, violently slamming the curtains shut. She looked at the floor, finding the parchment letter lying next to the bed. She picked it up and put it on top of the dresser, the hastily made up the bed, leaving the room with a lived-in yet still shabby look to it. She left the room, still wearing James' old t-shirt and sweat-pants, the clothes she slept in. She walked into the kitchen, not surprised to see nobody there. Sirius was always slept late when they'd been at Hogwarts, whether it be through a class or through breakfast, it usually didn't matter to him if he missed something. Remus was simply exhausted all the time, but it was rarely his fault. The previous night had probably worn him out. Lily felt her stomach give a slight pang when she realized that she had caused more trouble with him. Remus had enough on his hands; he didn't need her hysteria and Sirius' accusations on his hands.

But he invited you, a voice nagged in her head. Lily tried to push Remus' pain out of her mind as she stumbled around the kitchen looking for coffee. Remus usually had a well blended mix of Muggle and Wizard foods. He always said that he kept the best of both worlds in his kitchen and Lily tended to agree with him. Lily finally found frozen coffee beans in his freezer and started over to the coffee maker. Along with his various Muggle utilities, Remus also had electricity installed. He claimed that it saved him time and energy.

As the coffee began to brew, Lily looked around the kitchen for anything that she would eat. She found a box of cereal in one of the cabinets and started eating it straight out of the box. She sat down in a chair and watched the coffee maker as it slowly hypnotized her with its slow drip. She didn't notice Sirius make his way into the kitchen until he had planted himself in the way of her view of the coffee maker.

"Lily," he stated. He grabbed the box out of her hand and took out a handful, expertly tossing the box back to her. She caught it and dug her hand back in as if it had never left.

"What?" she answered. She turned her head to look at him. Sirius had a ragged look to him. The eleven years in Azkaban hadn't agreed with him, but they also hadn't given him the look that it gave so many others. Maybe it's because he was innocent, a voice in her head whispered to her.

"Why did you do it? Why did you leave me there?" he asked. The question lacked Sirius' normal joking tone. His voice was full of the serious nature that he never seemed to have had before.

"I don't know. Maybe because I was on the brink of a nervous break down? I lost my husband and my child within six months of each other. You can image in I'd be upset." Lily told him, her voice holding a slightly sarcastic nature to it that hadn't been heard by anybody since her Hogwarts days.

"Eleven years, Lily?" Sirius said again, his voice bitter. "Eleven years? Yes, that would be honoring James' memory. Locking his innocent best friend away for eleven years." He turned away from her. Lily felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She'd been warned that he wouldn't be that happy with her. She'd known all along. They had always told her that secrets were dangerous. This one had just been thrown back into her face.

"Do you hate me?" she whispered. Sirius turned towards her. She could tell that the question had caught him off guard. The anger slowly melted from his eyes and was replaced by forgiveness.

"How could I hate all I have left of him?" Sirius whispered. He turned towards Lily and wrapped her in a hug. "I can't hate you. I only hate what you did."

In the doorway, Remus smiled. He didn't have to play mediator after all.

The first September had been the hardest. She couldn't ever decide what to bring, what the other girls would bring, what they would be wearing under their robes. Did they like soccer or did they have some sort of wizarding sport? Did they read the novels that she had enjoyed and did they take the simple algebra and English classes that she'd been attending since first grade? Entering the wizarding world would be difficult. She had made a whole new life for herself the first time and now she had to do it all over again.

She hadn't really spread her stuff around the room that Remus had let her have, so packing was simple. All she had to do was put her robes and wand into her bag and she would be all set for the return trip to Hogwarts. She had spent her first three years there trying to find her place. Was it going to be like that all over again?

She pulled the parchment letter off of the floor and carefully placed it in her bag. She knew that James wouldn't have wanted her to throw her life away. He would have wanted her to get on with her life and enjoy it, just like he had. Lily picked up her bags and headed out to the front of the house where Remus and Sirius were waiting for her. Sirius had declined an offer from Dumbledore to take a position at Hogwarts, instead deciding to let the idea of his innocence sink in with the people before he was thrown at their children. Remus had offered him his house for as long as he wanted it and Sirius had gratefully accepted.

"Are you ready to go?" Remus asked. Lily looked at him and nodded then looked at Sirius. The week had gone by so quickly since their talk. Although things weren't the way they used to be, Sirius had gradually opened up to her. She'd begun to understand that the hell he'd been through for the last eleven years was similar to the private hell she'd put herself through.

"I'll miss you guys," Sirius said. Lily dropped her bags and he wrapped her in a big hug. "Don't do anything that would betray him," he whispered into Lily's ear, so quietly that Remus hadn't heard. Lily blushed and quickly pulled away from Sirius. He continued onto Remus, wrapping him in a hug. "I'll miss you, Moony."

"Let's go," Remus said. He pulled himself away from Sirius and walked to the front door and picked up his bags. Sirius opened the door and let the two out. "It better still be standing when I get back, Padfoot!" he yelled over his shoulder. Sirius laughed and shut the door. Remus began the walk to the train station, Lily trailing behind him.

"It's going to be so different now," she confided. Remus only nodded, his face holding a grim expression. Lily looked at him and then looked away. She could tell that he was upset about something, but she didn't really want to ask about what. He'd been there for so long, the only one to visit her in her St. Mungo's time. He'd been there for her for so long, she could grant him this moment of silence.

"We're here," Lily said awhile later when they arrived at the train station. Remus once again nodded. She bought two tickets that would take them to King's Crossing and led him to the train. The ride was going to take them twenty minutes, then the crossover to the Hogwarts Express would take a few moments. However, the ride to the castle itself would take hours. Lily pulled her bags onto the train and sat down in an empty seat, remembering the last time she'd ridden a train with Remus. She remembered the comforting feeling of his arm across her shoulder, then realized that Remus had chosen to sit in a different seat, far across the train from her.