At dawn we rode back at full speed. Tristan went straight to Arthur, but I wanted to relay our adventure to Lucan and Marta, who certainly would have been enthralled.

"Guinevere," I said when I reached the wagon. "Where is Marta?" Lucan was sitting with Dag, helping him steer the wagon. Guinevere looked at me for a moment.

"I thought she was with you."

"No, I left her here yesterday. I was with Tristan scouting."

"I have not seen her since last night. She said she was going to look for you but she never returned to the wagon."

My heart stopped. Guinevere shared my thoughts and instantly jumped out of the wagon and began running down the caravan, asking all if they had seen the little orphan girl. I spun Brego and ran ahead to Galahad, Bors and Lancelot. The caravan started moving, for it had stopped during the night.

"Have you seen Marta?" I asked desperately.

"Who?" asked Bors.

Then something caught my eye. It made my heart stop and made me deaf to all. Lancelot was talking, but I didn't hear a word he said. I just stared at the small footprints leading down the trail away from the caravan, as far as my eyes could see. I kicked Brego harder than I meant to and he reared. The other knight's horses were startled and they back away from me. I pushed my horse forward and down the trail. I heard the others shouting for me, but I pushed harder following the trail. After what seemed like an eternity, I saw the tracks veer off into the woods.

"How could I have missed this?" I cursed myself. I jumped from the saddle and fell into the bush I pushed through looking for any sign of Marta. And then, I found the worst thing possible. Underneath some shrubbery there was a little bundle of blankets. I slowed when I reached it, dreading what it might be. I pulled the cloth and recoiled in despair. Little Marta lay there blue and frozen. Dead. I fell to my knees, sobbing so hard I did not here the footprints behind me. I pulled Marta's frozen body into my lap and hugged her close, hoping that she may be alive.

"Lily…" I turned to see Lancelot standing behind me, watching with sorrow in his eyes.

"It is all my fault," I whimpered. My heart had been torn in two. "I told her to trust me, that I would take care of her, and now I have lead her to her death."

He kneeled next to me.

"You could not have predicted or prevented this."

"I told her she could ride Brego. I promised. And because I was annoyed and thought I was too good for her, I left her. I lied to her and now she has perished."

"You are too hard on yourself Lily…"

"she was looking for me Lancelot!" I cried. "She was coming to find me!" I double over, racked with sobs. Lancelot wrapped his arms around me.

"There are casualties in every war…" he said slowly. I knew he was trying to console me, but my anger for myself was coming out on him.

"You call this a casualty of war?" I yelled at him, motioning to the little girls body. "What did she do to deserve death? Perhaps not being fast enough? Strong enough? Or even just being a girl? What justifies her death Lancelot?"

He didn't respond, he just slowly stood up and extended a hand to me.

"I am sorry Lily. But what is done is done. Now, all you can do is give her the treatment she deserves. Bury her in the land of her ancestors. Let her be with her people. Where she is going, there will be no more sorrow."

I took his hand and slowly stood. I Mounted Brego and Lancelot put Marta's body behind me. Together, we slowly rode back to the caravan. I wore no emotion on my face when we returned, but my eyes were hollow and red. Arthur rode towards me with a relieved look on his face.

"Lily, when I heard you had rode off alone-" he stopped when he saw the small hand hanging out from underneath the blanket. The knights were silent as I rode toward the wagon. Guinevere looked at he body with tears in her eye and little Lucan paled. I dismounted and attempted to carry Marta's body to the back of the wagon, but because she was frozen, she was too heavy for me. Galahad came over and gently helped me lift her in.

I did not go near the wagon again.

We arrived at the frozen lake that day. The drums were getting closer.

"Is there no other way?" asked Arthur to Tristan.

"No," said Tristan shaking his head. "We have to cross the ice."

Arthur sighed. "Get them all out of carriages. Tell them to spread out."

The knights yelled some orders and everyone got out of the carriages except for Lucan and Guinevere. I walked in silence, pulling Brego along behind me. He was going slowly so not to crack the ice. I was numb all over, but not from the cold. From grief. I wanted to die. I wanted the Saxon army to take me so that I might be with Marta and apologize to her for letting her down. The pounding of drums knocked me out of my reverie. No, that was constant. What was it that was different? I looked to Gawain, who was standing by me. He head was tilted to one side, listening. That was it…there was no more drumming. It had ceased. I turned and looked back to the trail. We were more than half away across, but I could still see the masses of men that the edge of the lake. Saxons.

The knights looked at each other and sighed. Lancelot hung his head. Then Bors said, "Well I'm tired of running. And these Saxons are so close behind, my ass is hurting." The others broke into smiles.

"Never liked looking over my shoulder anyway," added Tristan, as he pulled his bow and arrow off of his horse.

"It'll be a pleasure to put an end to this racket," said Gawain as Jols the squire took his horse.

"We'll finally get a look at the bastards," said Galahad.

"Here, now." Dagonet suddenly took his battle-axe and bow and headed off toward the edge of the lake. We were to make a stand. I saw Guinevere get out of the carriage and grab a cross bow.

"Ganis, I need you to lead the people. The main Saxon army is inland so if you track the coastline until you're well south of the wall, you'll be safe," said Arthur to the young Ganis. He protested.

"You are but 8 to 200!"

"Nine." It was Guinevere. "You could use another bow."

We continued to unload the weaponry, when Arthur came up beside me.

"You can go with the caravan, Lily. You do not have to stay."

"Do not insult me Arthur," I hissed, not looking at him. "After what I have done, the last thing on my mind should be fear. If a six-year-old girl can face death to ride a horse, I think I can face it to provide freedom to my friends. Besides," I added, looking up at him, my face softening. "I think it will help to kill some Saxon bastards." He smiled and walked away.
I watched with Tristan as the caravan moved away. Fulcinia was now sitting in the carriage with Lucan, who was watching Dag sadly. They waved goodbye to each other and a smile crept to my face for ht first time that day. I had never seen Dag be so moved by a person, let alone a little boy.

"Hold until I give the command." We watched as the Saxon army began to walk across the ice.

"you looked frightened," Lancelot said to Guinevere. "There are a lot of lonely men out there."

"Don't worry, I won't let them rape you," she replied. I smiled inwardly. But part of me was crying out: Why couldn't he tease me like that? But I knew he never would. I was too much of a sister to him. A Saxon arrow came flying towards us, and I suddenly felt nervous. This was my first real battle. How would I handle it? I had experience-fighting loan Woads or shooting them down from trees, but my only hand-to-hand combat was with Tristan. Arthur had never thought it useful to teach me how to fight with a blade, but I knew it was only because he hoped to keep me away from these battles. Tristan on the other hand, knew that it was a valuable lesson that I would need. He taught me in secret for many months before Arthur found out. A drunk Roman knight had once tried to rape me, but he sobered up when he realized I had swiped his sword. In the fight that followed, I won out easily, with the intoxicated soldier on the ground and my blade at his throat. Dag and Gawain broke us up just in time, but apparently Arthur had been watching from tower, and saw the whole thing. After that I was allowed to accompany them on short missions.

The arrow landed far short and skidded across the ice.

"I believe they are waiting for an invitation," stated Arthur. "Bors, Tristan."

"But we are far out of range," protested Guinevere. Lancelot cast her a smirk as Tristan and Bors let loose their arrows. They hit at least four Saxons. Guinevere seemed to be in awe. Arthur just raised his eyebrows at her and she scowled. Sometimes, I felt she was just too proud. It is all right to admit mistakes. The Saxons began marching across the ice. We all pulled back the strings of our bows and took aim.

"Aim for the ranks," said Arthur. "Make them cluster." My brother is brilliant.

We let loose a flurry of arrows, and Saxons on the flanks dropped like flies. It took the brutes a few more volleys to realize that their best bet for survival, at this point anyway, was to be in the middle, so they all pushed together. The cracking of the ice grew louder, and for a moment I hoped that maybe we wouldn't have to fight. The ice would just swallow them up and we could be on our way. But as Lancelot always told me, it was foolish to trust a hope.

"It's not going to crack," said Arthur, and I could hear the despair in his voice. "Fall back! Prepare for combat," he commanded as he withdrew Excalibur. As I pulled out my blade, I suddenly wasn't scared anymore, at least not for myself. Despite myself, I took sidelong glances at my fellow knights. Galahad was so young and had so much life back in him. He had something to live for. Gawain barely remembered the land he called home, and was dying to see it again. Bors had a family. Dag had little Lucan waiting for him at Hadrian's Wall. He had even mentioned to me about raising the little boy as his own. Guinevere had her people who needed her. And this was her home. She belonged to this land. Lancelot and Tristan were rogues who wanted nothing more than to be rid of Britain and to travel on their own and to go back home to Sarmatia, where their families long had awaited them to return. Arthur. Arthur had his beloved Rome to return to, a place I had never been. What did I have? What reason was there for me to survive this battle? I was scared for them. They may lose their lives in this battle for a cause not their own, when they should be somewhere else. Why should they die? They have fought too many battles to die now, in one they should not even be in. 'Perhaps even Lancelot will think me brave,' I thought to myself. I looked to my right and saw Dag's battle-axe. It was just laying there, almost calling me to it. I glanced up at Dag and saw him looking at me. 'Oh no.' I quickly looked back at the approaching Saxons. They were so close I could almost see their individual faces, and already I could see they were hideous beings. I had made up my mind. I turned to grab the axe, but it was gone. When I looked up, I was shocked to see Dag running out onto the ice waving the axe like a mad man.

"Cover him!" shouted Arthur. We pulled out the bows and arrows and began firing the archers who had taken their positions, ready to take Dag down. I was terrified as I saw the arrows whizzing past him. He struck the ice hard with his axe. And again. And again.

Then, the ice started to crack. Dag was about to bring down the final stroke that would break the ice, when an arrow shot into his chest.

"Dag!" yelled Bors. I dropped my bow and sprinted out onto the ice. Dag was not going to die. I wasn't going to let it happen.

"Lily!" yelled more than one voice. I could make out Arthur and Lancelot clearly, but the other sounded somewhat like Galahad. I knew Tristan was would never shout my name. He would never shout anything. By the time I reached Dag, two more arrows were protruding from his chest and stomach, and the ice was fully cracked. Somehow, under all the pain, by force of will, Dag had managed to bring one harder stroke upon the ice. Arrows flew by me. I grabbed Dag's cloak, just preventing him from going under the water in the hole he had fallen into, but it was only a matter of time before I myself was pulled in. Dag was so heavy to begin with, but his soaked clothes and armor added another 50 pounds to him. Then, some of the weight was lifted, and I looked to see Arthur next to me. We struggled to get Dag out of that hole, but somehow we managed. It was probably the same thing that made Dag able to hit that ice one last time.

We dragged him across the ice as fast as we could.

"Dag!" yelled Bors again, and he ran out with a shield to meet us. The others were firing arrows frantically. Suddenly, when we were almost there, I felt a sharp pain in my left arm. An arrow had clipped it, leaving a deep gash. I winced but continued pulling Dag with my right arm.

"Help us," I cried, not realizing there were tears streaming down my face. Behind me I could hear the screams of Saxons as the ice devoured them, but I dared not look back. Tristan and Galahad ran out and help us bring back Dag. Galahad took my spot.

"I've got him Lily," he said softly when I still had not let go of Dag's cloak. I nodded lightly and let go and slid back to the others. The arrows had stopped falling, but I didn't care anymore. I sat away from the others, facing the mountains as I heard Bors sobbing.

"Stay with me…Dag! Stay with me!" But he was gone. I knew he was gone the moment I saw him looking at me. I knew it, and I did nothing about it.