SAURON'S ARMY
Guess what kids? Stupid little frodo ran right into the path of the Great Eye. The Dark lord sent for his little orkses and had them cut Frodo into little T-bone steaks. They took the ring and gave it back to their master. As soon as he received the precious gift. He was once again placed into his grand suit of armour and had his mace at his side.
He strode along and came up to Samwise Gamgee and gave him a good old whack up the bum with the mace and sent sting down his throat. Blood gushed from Sam's rear end and now it came from his eyeballs because Sauron had just gouged them both out. He grabbed the Hobbit and ripped his tongue out and put barbed wire in his mouth and pulled it out his bum and cleaned out his insides by using the barbed wire like dental floss. he then got a big knife from a dead rohirrim soldier and put it up his poo poo hole. he then spat on the dead hobbit and and said "That's for all the trouble you've caused."
Later that evening, Gandalf had just finished brushing his teeth with a kangaroo paw when he turned to Saruman and asked: "Do you eat lambrusco covered marinated chocolate dipped Fell beast teeth on a fresh corn cake with a side of baby drool on toast?"
"Yup." Saruman answered. At that moment, Sauron burst in with a really mad look on his face... not that the two wizards could tell (I think it's the helmet).
"Where isss my army hmm? white wizard and all round psychadelic china eating foooool!"
" Huh? Oh yeah Thaaat army. I think that they are chewing gum over there in the garden shed."
Sauron ran over to the little wooden shed where all 9999999 Uruk-Hai troops were balancing baby elephants on their heads and chewing bubble gum. When Sauron called out their individual names, they all lined up quickly within days. Because all of Middle Earth was counting on this guy to deliver peices of horror to their door, he had to think slowly and carefully.
Aragorn was floating on his Green Goblin glider when the Batman torch was seen up in the sky. "Hmmm. There must be trouble afoot." Aragorn said to himself.
A few seconds later, half of Middle Earth was surrendering to the red eyed freak. It was up to Aragorn to save the day. He ran up to Sauron with his Ak-47 sorry... sword and was immediatley steered in the other Direction when he saw Arathorn (his daddy) lying on the ground with mortal wounds and critical blood loss and evidential pain stuff. Sauron walked up to Ara G and Ara Th and pulled out his mace He pointed at him and Aragorn reached for his sword as he'd dropped it before he saw his father. Sauron stepped on the sword and made it shatter. Aragorn picked up the broken part and cut off Sauron's finger. "Damn. Not again!" That's when Sauron realised that Aragorn had amputated the wrong finger. Ha Ha Ha!" Sauron laughed out loud.
Aragorn grabbed his stuff, jumped onto his glider and flew off. The armoured Maiar (Sauron) took after him. They ended up in a place where vines tangled everywhere. there were broken brick walls and smashed windows. Sauron grabbed Aragorn and put him up against a wall and started to beat the snot out of him. Aragorn slipped out of the evil lord's grip and slid down the wall. "Stop. Sauron it's me." Aragorn distracted Sauron as he pressed some buttonds on his wrist control unit. Slowly and silently, the glider floated up behind Sauron and the razor sharp 'talons' of the glider sprung out the front.
Aragorn stood up in front of Sauron and changed the look on his face from a sad helpless look to a bitter look. "Godspeed Sauron." The glider sped up behind Sauron, making a feeble attempt to impale him. Sauron did a huge backflip and the glider went underneath him and missed. Aragorn's life flashed before his eyes as the gliders blades stabbed into him and stuck him to the wall.
"I don't like you much" Aragorn muttered. He then dropped dead on the glider.
From that day on, Sauron has ruled the roost.
THE END