Compatible Evil
Chapter Two: Library Tantrums
Disclaimer as before
"Now, please Miss Hermione, will Miss sit still while Winky dresses her?"
Winky was almost crying. Her dark green ears drooped lower and lower around her pointed face, and she twisted the Hogwarts tea towel around in her spindly fingers desperately. Her other hand held a yellow t-shirt with a unicorn prancing across the chest area, already crumpled and rumpled from the fight. Hermione Granger, on the other hand, was sulky. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks as she wriggled around in a pair of yellow cotton socks and a nappy². In one hand was clasped a red lollipop, the other was clenched into a fist beating the shag pile rug.
"No!" she bawled unhappily.
"Please Miss Hermione, just let Winky dress Miss!"
Draco Malfoy was sitting next to her on the carpet, dressed in a pair of brown dungarees and a green t-shirt, quite happily playing with his teddy bear. The bear was missing an eye and an ear, and was obviously much loved; currently Draco was so overcome with affection that the left paw was in his mouth and he was chewing voraciously. The bear kept squeaking and wiggling around so that Draco had to almost sit on it to nibble effectively, and his little face was screwed up with concentration.
"Master Draco is behaving for Winky," the houself tried, "look at good Mister Malfoy."
Hermione spared no look for the other toddler, only slammed her lollipop onto the rug. She tugged at it vigorously, but only succeeded in getting it more tangled and more stuck to the rug. She began to scream in earnest, throwing her whole body onto the floor and beating it with all appendages.
"Oh no Miss Hermione!" cried Winky, and a large tear rolled down her cheek, "Please Miss Hermione!"
"What's going on?"
Blaise Zabini was a tall, athletic boy. His hair was brown and curly, spiralling out from his head in wild abandon. It partially covered a pair of brilliantly blue eyes and a snub nose, set above a wide mouth that smiled frequently. He had free periods on a Thursday morning, and had so volunteered to look after the toddlers, as magical studies had proved that houselves were incapable of taking proper, simulative care of small witches and wizards. Draco stopped his chewing, and looked up.
"Blaise!" he cried happily, allowing the bear to roll away to a corner, nursing its paw.
"Hey, little man," Blaise knelt down next to his friend and took his hand in a comical handshake, "how's it going?"
"Teddy?" Draco asked hopefully, "Playtime?"
"Yeah, playtime. Why is Granger screaming?"
Winky had vanished, leaving the t-shirt and jeans behind, neatly folded on the rug. Hermione carried on screaming, flailing her little fists about in distress.
"Hey, you're not even dressed yet," Blaise observed, and Draco watched with interest, "come on Granger, let's get you dressed."
Hermione raised her tear stained face to him, and screamed loudly.
"Whoa," was Blaise's response as he picked up the jeans, "you scream loudly. Tell you what, if you get dressed, we can go to the library."
Hermione gave him a very suspicious look, but stopped her tantrum and sat up. Blaise opened the t-shirt widely and grinned at her through the hole in the neck.
"Hey Granger, didn't think you'd want to wear clothes like these. Shouldn't it be a book and not a unicorn?"
The toddler gave a cry of rage, and tunnelled forward towards the Slytherin. He laughed as she ripped her head through the neck hole, and took her arms in his hands and directed them through the arm holes. Hermione, who didn't seem to be aware that she had the t-shirt on, kicked and bit at his arms while he held her at arms length.
"Right, and now for some trousers," Blaise grinned triumphantly as Draco cheered him.
Hermione looked at him with a pout in her eyes, pushing her lower lip out a little. With the dried tear tracks on her face she looked pathetic, and Blaise felt a small stab of guilt.
"Don't look at me like that," he commanded, wrestling her into the jeans, "I don't think you really want Weasley to see you in nothing but a nappy."
"Bad!" Hermione proclaimed, but allowed him to slot her legs into the appropriate places, "book?"
"Yeah, some books," Blaise sighed, taking Draco's hand and dragging the teddy bear from its corner, "you want anything else?"
"Breakfast?" Draco said hopefully.
"Oh no you don't, you've had breakfast already. You spat it on Snape remember?"
"Ha ha!" proclaimed Hermione, pulling herself upright, "Bad man."
"Yeah, sure. And then you threw up on Pansy, remember?"
"Ya ya," Draco replied, grinning, "yucky."
"It was yucky for Pansy, certainly," Blaise agreed, shutting the door behind them, "I have never seen her run so fast."
"Fast," Draco repeated, dragging his bear along by the leg, "yucky Pansy."
"Right, you better hope she doesn't hear that. She'd kiss you to death."
Draco made a disgusted face as they went down the stairs, teddy bumping along behind him. Hermione was making faces on the other side of Blaise, clinging tightly to his hand as she peered through the banisters.
"High," she remarked unhappily, "not good."
"You scared of heights Granger?" Blaise grinned, and she shook her head furiously, "we're almost at the library."
"Outside," Draco bossed, pointing at a window, "Draco wants to fly."
"You'd fall off the broom, midget."
Draco gave him a foul look as they enter the library. Instantly, Hermione dropped Blaise's hand and dropped to her knees. She crawled straight across the entrance to the front desk, and let out a loud cry to alert the witch sitting there to her presence.
"Miss Granger," Madame Prince dropped her novel and peered over the edge of the desk, "how lovely. Aren't you just adorable? And what can I do for you?"
"Blooper?" Hermione said hopefully, "Bloopers come here?"
"Blooper? Well, I'm not sure what you mean, but we do have a nice new book about Wloopers. Would you like that?"
"Please," Hermione said, reaching her arms up.
Blaise rolled his eyes and picked Draco up like a sack of small potatoes. The child fidgeted around in his arms and reached for the floor, stiffening his body awkwardly.
"Oh no, you don't," Blaise whispered, putting the child down next to a desk on which his homework was spread out, "you're staying right here."
"No!" Draco said defiantly, and tried to totter off.
"Bindus," Blaise said lazily, and a pale blue rope snaked out and grabbed Draco by the ankle, attaching the other to the table leg.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" bellowed Draco in rage, tugging at the rope desperately.
Madame Prince turned to them and shushed them angrily, looking as if she had swallowed a lemon. Hermione was sitting on the floor at her feet, happily turning over the pages of a huge encyclopaedia complete with colour illustration. She was pawing them happily, Madame Prince oblivious. Blaise turned back to his arithmancy equations with a sigh; why did ∑µα equal 92.46? He snuck another glance at Hermione before Draco began biting his ankle furiously – she would probably know instantly. He wondered briefly if she had already done the homework and if he could persuade her to give it to him.
"No!" an anguished yelp broke him away from his work, and he turned in his seat quickly, shaking Draco off.
Madame Prince was standing bent double over the book, tugging at Hermione's little waist in an effort to get her to leave the book alone. It was covered with spit and dribble, and even a bit of phlegm, and there was a page being chewed up in her mouth. She was squealing like a stuck pig, reaching out desperately for the book.
"Granger, I don't know what you're doing, but that is a book! I have never seen you behave in such a manner! What has got into you? Leave it alone! Alone! Leave that book alone!"
Blaise, slowly turning red in mortification, heard the strange gasping noise and looked down to see Draco laughing uproariously. He was tugging the rope for support, looking as if he would fall over at any moment; the laughter was convulsing his body so.
"Wow, I've never seen you laugh so much," Blaise mused.
"ZABINI!" Madame Prince was looming over him, looking as if she would breathe fire at any moment, "Get this BABY out of MY library! You're banned! All three of you!"
Blaise swept all of his work into his leather satchel and bolted upright as Hermione – crying loudly – was thrust into his arms. He seized Draco around the middle with his other arm, hitting the child with a textbook accidentally, and fled the library. Madame Prince chased them to the doors, cradling the injured book in her arms with tears in her eyes.
"Hey Zabini," a voice greeted curiously, and he realised that his free periods were over and break time had started, "what happened?"
Ginny Weasley stood in the doorway of her empty charms classroom, regarding the Slytherin curiously. He looked like her had electrocuted, hair in every direction and panting loudly. Under each arm was a toddler and Draco was sporting a large blooming bruise on his cheek, while Hermione was wailing loudly and grumpily. His bag had come loose and a trail of papers led up the hallway to where he now stood.
"Weasley," he breathed almost reverently, and stuffed the children into her arms, "you can look after them, right? Take them to lessons or something? Please? I haven't done my homework, and I've been banned from the library because of her."
He pointed at Hermione, who was busy playing contentedly with Draco's hair, tears drying on her skin.
"Zabini, what happened to Malfoy?"
"He got hit with a book! Please!"
"Okay, okay," she responded, "Ooo's a wuvely wickle baby-waby?"
As she looked up from her cooing over the adorable toddlers, she caught sight of Zabini skidding around a corner with his arms full of parchment and his robes flapping out behind him.
"Awww," she told the captivated children, "Never mind, oo can come wiv aunty Ginny to Herbology, to play wiv some planty-wanties, won't dat be fun?"
Hermione gave her an angelic smile as she hugged them both close to her. Draco Malfoy, alternatively, gave a glare filled with so much loathing and mischief that she swallowed in sudden, unexplainable nervousness. But really, how much trouble could they be, and Professor Sprout loved Hermione and children generally. She set off for her lesson.
…
²nappy / diaper
Thanks to prin69 -Draco's too old for his eyes still to be birth blue, though I thank you for coming up with an excuse for me!; Dynastydragons02 – I thought Hermione would take this time to revenge herself on as many Slytherins as possible; CherryPieKitten – they'll have to stop being babies soon, or we'll have no lemons for tea; Miranda – you ought to feel sorry for the babysitters, we have a hard life you know (watching cable television and eating biscuits is tricky); Merciful Sky – 'freakin' adorable'? Thanks, I think (!); and foxeran – and he's about to become a very, very naughty kitten. Peeing on beds is nothing compared to what he's about to do…