A/N: Whew! Another Saturday posting, but this one is rather longer than my others
so far. Readers and reviewers are placed upon a gleaming pedestal. Disclaimers
apply as always.
------------------------------
Chapter 18
As Snape listened to his bitter words fade from the campsite, he watched the
Potter boy shift uneasily where he sat, wanting to protest Snape's statement but
unable to do so. Either something else was holding his tongue or the boy was
starting to use his brain for once.
After a moderately appropriate interval for thought, the boy spoke his protest
albeit weakly. "Surely it wasn't actual conditioning. Maybe he just put a charm on
you? A defense?"
A good argument, however misguided. "I've most of my memory back, Potter."
Cursing himself at the unintended slip and the show of vulnerability, Snape
plunged on quickly in the hopes the boy hadn't caught it, "I was able to compare
some of what Voldemort did with what Dumbledore did- it was very similar."
"But Severus-"
"Do you imagine it was my choice to set my own energy against myself?" Snape
snapped. "A charm is cast upon a person or a thing and uses the caster's power-
not the power of the person it is cast upon. I was conditioned by Voldemort, and I
was conditioned by Dumbledore on how to respond to it." The anger that surged
through Snape lent him energy and he felt his spine straighten further where he
sat, biting off his words as he spoke. "Remove your blinders and admit to the truth
of it."
After a few moments of silence, the green-eyed gaze lowered with a flicker of
internal pain. "I ... understand," he whispered sadly, and the silence grew further
as the boy struggled with his emotions. It seemed as though he was hurt by the
idea... another sign of his innocence being stripped away from him by others.
Snape sighed internally and let the boy think in peace while he considered his own
options.
Remaining on his own, with or without the boy. Well, certainly being on his own
would make it a lot easier on him to travel- but he couldn't remain on the run
forever. One side or the other would catch up with him eventually, and he disliked
being forced to go one way or the other. He would make his own decision.
Going back to Voldemort and trying to make his way there. Blatantly foolish.
Going to Dumbledore. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea, but he knew enough
to realize that the sense of betrayal was fed by emotions and that there was likely
a very good reason for Dumbledore's actions. At least one that Dumbledore had
perceived to be good. It didn't mean he was about to give up his newfound anger
and mistrust of the old fool.
As though his thoughts had been following similar pathways, the boy spoke up
again- quietly as though to not startle a snake into striking. "Don't you think he
deserves a chance to explain?"
Snape was about to snarl his reply in the negative, but again his brutal honesty
made him refrain from doing so- instead, he got up and paced. Among the
memories he'd recovered were the ones of Dumbledore's foolish trust in him,
taking him in when his trust in himself had shattered- when he made his first
break with the Death Eaters and Voldemort.
//Severus... Merlin- sit down boy. Here, let me help you; you'll be all right. ...
You'll be just fine.//
Shaking his head to dislodge the recollection, he reluctantly growled, "Perhaps."
The boy again showed some wisdom in keeping his trap shut. Then again, when
faced with a prowling ex-Death Eater on the edge of his temper it might be
self-preservation instead.
Eventually he spun to a stop and faced the boy. "We'll need to get to the coast
without any more dilly-dallying through the trees for secrecy. That means a direct
line of flight which will take us over towns. And that means I'm going to have to
cast an area invisibility spell to cover us both as well as the broom." Pausing for
breath, Snape continued, feeling almost as though he were trying to convince
himself of the necessity rather than informing the boy. "If you've paid attention to
your lessons, you'll know that a spell grows increasingly difficult to cast when it is
made into a range or area effect, and that the difficulty increases exponentially
with each increase in size or distance. Once I cast the spell, I expect for you to
remain silent and not distract me with your babbling or whining." Unfair, Snape
thought to himself, but he ignored it as usual. "We'll pack up the campsite once
we've eaten, and fly to the coastline. It should take approximately five hours.
We-" he emphasized with a dark stare, "-will use the portkey at that time and
return to Hogwarts. Once we are there, you will go to the hospital wing and Poppy
will check you over while I have a discussion with the Headmaster."
With that he turned away from the boy, ignoring him in favor of preparing a quick
meal from their purchased supplies. His movements were efficient as customary,
and he put effort into ensuring they remained that way in front of the boy. He was
all in favor of intimidating him into silence, especially as it ensured he wouldn't
have to answer any questions at that moment. Behind him, Potter set about
packing up the blankets, rolling them into a tight bundle with the ease of someone
used to doing chores.
Stirring the stew over his magical fire, Snape wrinkled his nose at the smell of the
chemical preservatives that Muggles customarily put into their manufactured foods.
Yet another reason to not remain on his own in the Muggle world. Food heated, he
served out portions and set one down for Potter to claim. Snape found that these
Muggle foods were best tolerated when they were heated, so he consumed his as
quickly as he could manage.
While the boy at his portion, Snape set about to packing away the rest of the
supplies and removing traces of their presence in the area. When Potter finished,
Snape cleaned the dishes and banished them to join the rest of their supplies to
be shrunken and pocketed. The portkey was wrapped in cloth and pocketed; Snape
didn't trust shrinking and enlarging a magical item that was going to have to work
over an extra long distance. With a last study of the area for anything missed,
Snape waved the boy over. "Stand close and remain within five feet of me; I'm
making the spell only as big as the broom is long; it will fit us both sitting on the
broom as well. Once I've cast the spell, get on the broom behind me and keep
quiet."
* * * * *
Feeling pale but curious, Harry nodded, waiting to see what shape this new spell
would take and how it was cast.
With Severus' spoken commands, Harry watched as though in slow motion as
power flared from Severus' wand, glowing softly as it was filtered from Severus'
body. With the wand gestures that Severus made an outline took shape, forming
itself into a circle around him, slowly rippling like black velvet billowing in the wind
before taking flight to hover and surround him- surrounding them both.
Harry let his eyes fall to slits as though to savor the wind, however it wasn't wind
he felt; rather he was able to sense the power flowing and encircling the two of
them. For a moment it grew dark, and all he could hear was Severus' voice
muttering the final words of his spell before the cloak-like outline shimmered to
Harry's sight and turned clear. Harry couldn't help but breathe, "Beautiful..."
Severus scowled at him and gestured brusquely towards the broom, his brow
furrowed as he continued to concentrate upon the spell. Sheepish and repentant,
Harry quickly followed Severus' previous orders and clamped his jaw shut before
getting onto the floating broom behind Severus.
Pushing them off from the ground, the flight path that Severus took this time kept
true to his word; they traveled in a straight line, heading east towards the coast
with small turns to avoid hills and the last of the mountains. It got easier and
more interesting as they reached the towns that sprawled along below them. Small
roads became larger ones which met with other ones bustling with the traffic of
tiny cars, dotted increasingly with houses and then shops. Large roads met with
more large roads and directed cars on and off of highways which lead to a very
distant city.
Harry kept his balance mostly through his natural reflexes, but he found that he
was never surprised by a change in direction and was able to lean into the turns
without overbalancing or causing Severus trouble which he was thankful for. Not
wanting to rub Severus the wrong way, Harry relied mostly upon this balance and
avoided touching Severus whenever he was able; his Professor was still feeling
shock and betrayal from his perception of the Headmaster's past actions and
wasn't likely to appreciate Harry gripping his shoulders or waist.
Finally sighting the coast, Severus directed the broom along the beaches in search
of an area they wouldn't be spotted; predictably the beachfront property was
populated by some housing areas as well as a boardwalk and public beaches that
were being enjoyed for the summertime weather. Looking down at people
sunbathing reminded Harry that he wasn't wearing the most comfortable of outfits
for the heat. Surprisingly however, he didn't feel that bad off; what he wanted over
everything else was a bath and a comfortable bed.
As they found a place that wasn't as well developed as the others, Severus
brought them in for a landing with his customary smoothness although Severus'
aura was wavering with his exhaustion. Checking that there were no witnesses,
both Harry and Severus were thankful as Severus cast a Finite Incantum on the
invisibility charm and they came into view.
As Harry expected, Severus' mind used the five hours and multitasked enough to
further consider his position during the trip. Now his aura showed that he was
quite tired, and Harry didn't feel the freshest either. However, it was Harry's turn
for his thoughts to turn down an uncustomary avenue. He could agree to find
someplace here to rest before taking the portkey back, presumably to Hogwarts ...
or he could urge Severus that they should return to Hogwarts now. It would mean
more comfort sooner, but it would also mean that Severus would be worn down
and perhaps slightly less guarded when he spoke to Professor Dumbledore than he
would be when he was rested.
Did Harry dare trust Dumbledore fully to do what's best for Severus when Harry
didn't know exactly what Dumbledore had done to him or why? The instinct to
protect Severus remained, and Harry found that he didn't want to be sent to the
hospital wing- especially if it meant Severus facing Dumbledore alone.
Decision made, Harry spoke firmly before Severus could. "Sev- sir," he rethought
quickly, deciding that a little respectful formality would help his case. "You'll be
coming back with me, won't you?" When Severus nodded distractedly, Harry
continued with relief. "I think that we should either rest before using the portkey
and returning, or that I should come with you when you speak to Professor
Dumbledore."
Brow furrowed again, Severus growled, "Do you think that I require a chaperone? A
guard, perhaps?" His tone of voice was a promise of dark things to the person who
gave him an answer he didn't like.
"I think that you should have ... a witness with you." Harry stubbornly frowned
back at Severus, "And this isn't only about you. This is affecting us both now, and
I want answers, too."
"You'll get your answers in your own time. You are a student who has been hurt,
and it is my responsibility to have you checked over by Madame Pomphrey upon
our return." Severus' tone was factual, and if there was a show of concern it was
well hidden from Harry's eyes, even in his aura.
"You were hurt too," Harry argued, "Even worse than I was. Much worse."
"I am an adult and as such am responsible for myself. I will visit the hospital wing
once I've ... discussed things with the Headmaster." Although there was no trace
of emotion in Severus' voice or features, his aura roiled with his suppressed anger
and hurt.
"I'll agree to go to the hospital wing if we rest here first before taking the
Portkey," Harry returned, going for the brave and straightforward 'Gryffindor way'
and hoping it would work. "You're too tired now to deal with the Headmaster about
this serious a subject. Not alone."
Severus' anger grew as he paced despite his weariness. "My healing potions are
effective, but nothing replaces treatment by a trained mediwitch. You're going to
the hospital wing- tonight."
"I'll go to the hospital wing when you do, after your- after *our* meeting with
Dumbledore." Mulishly, Harry added, "The sooner the meeting is done, the sooner
I'll be in the hospital wing."
Severus was plainly at the end of his patience, but between the practicality of
there being a witness to monitor Dumbledore's actions and the logic of getting it
all over with the soonest, Severus finally snarled, "Fine. We're using the Portkey
now," and reached into his pocket for the item; a carefully shaped clear crystal.
Socks and trash were for shorter distances.
Harry reached out to touch it as Snape firmly grasped the broom, and the two of
them were suddenly linked as they were lifted and pulled by the navel. Seconds
passed during which everything but Severus was a blur, and finally they were
lightly dropped to the ground in a landing smoother than Harry had yet experienced
with portkey travel.
With grass under their feet and trees just behind, they turned as one to behold
the structure standing across the field from them.
Hogwarts.
so far. Readers and reviewers are placed upon a gleaming pedestal. Disclaimers
apply as always.
------------------------------
Chapter 18
As Snape listened to his bitter words fade from the campsite, he watched the
Potter boy shift uneasily where he sat, wanting to protest Snape's statement but
unable to do so. Either something else was holding his tongue or the boy was
starting to use his brain for once.
After a moderately appropriate interval for thought, the boy spoke his protest
albeit weakly. "Surely it wasn't actual conditioning. Maybe he just put a charm on
you? A defense?"
A good argument, however misguided. "I've most of my memory back, Potter."
Cursing himself at the unintended slip and the show of vulnerability, Snape
plunged on quickly in the hopes the boy hadn't caught it, "I was able to compare
some of what Voldemort did with what Dumbledore did- it was very similar."
"But Severus-"
"Do you imagine it was my choice to set my own energy against myself?" Snape
snapped. "A charm is cast upon a person or a thing and uses the caster's power-
not the power of the person it is cast upon. I was conditioned by Voldemort, and I
was conditioned by Dumbledore on how to respond to it." The anger that surged
through Snape lent him energy and he felt his spine straighten further where he
sat, biting off his words as he spoke. "Remove your blinders and admit to the truth
of it."
After a few moments of silence, the green-eyed gaze lowered with a flicker of
internal pain. "I ... understand," he whispered sadly, and the silence grew further
as the boy struggled with his emotions. It seemed as though he was hurt by the
idea... another sign of his innocence being stripped away from him by others.
Snape sighed internally and let the boy think in peace while he considered his own
options.
Remaining on his own, with or without the boy. Well, certainly being on his own
would make it a lot easier on him to travel- but he couldn't remain on the run
forever. One side or the other would catch up with him eventually, and he disliked
being forced to go one way or the other. He would make his own decision.
Going back to Voldemort and trying to make his way there. Blatantly foolish.
Going to Dumbledore. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea, but he knew enough
to realize that the sense of betrayal was fed by emotions and that there was likely
a very good reason for Dumbledore's actions. At least one that Dumbledore had
perceived to be good. It didn't mean he was about to give up his newfound anger
and mistrust of the old fool.
As though his thoughts had been following similar pathways, the boy spoke up
again- quietly as though to not startle a snake into striking. "Don't you think he
deserves a chance to explain?"
Snape was about to snarl his reply in the negative, but again his brutal honesty
made him refrain from doing so- instead, he got up and paced. Among the
memories he'd recovered were the ones of Dumbledore's foolish trust in him,
taking him in when his trust in himself had shattered- when he made his first
break with the Death Eaters and Voldemort.
//Severus... Merlin- sit down boy. Here, let me help you; you'll be all right. ...
You'll be just fine.//
Shaking his head to dislodge the recollection, he reluctantly growled, "Perhaps."
The boy again showed some wisdom in keeping his trap shut. Then again, when
faced with a prowling ex-Death Eater on the edge of his temper it might be
self-preservation instead.
Eventually he spun to a stop and faced the boy. "We'll need to get to the coast
without any more dilly-dallying through the trees for secrecy. That means a direct
line of flight which will take us over towns. And that means I'm going to have to
cast an area invisibility spell to cover us both as well as the broom." Pausing for
breath, Snape continued, feeling almost as though he were trying to convince
himself of the necessity rather than informing the boy. "If you've paid attention to
your lessons, you'll know that a spell grows increasingly difficult to cast when it is
made into a range or area effect, and that the difficulty increases exponentially
with each increase in size or distance. Once I cast the spell, I expect for you to
remain silent and not distract me with your babbling or whining." Unfair, Snape
thought to himself, but he ignored it as usual. "We'll pack up the campsite once
we've eaten, and fly to the coastline. It should take approximately five hours.
We-" he emphasized with a dark stare, "-will use the portkey at that time and
return to Hogwarts. Once we are there, you will go to the hospital wing and Poppy
will check you over while I have a discussion with the Headmaster."
With that he turned away from the boy, ignoring him in favor of preparing a quick
meal from their purchased supplies. His movements were efficient as customary,
and he put effort into ensuring they remained that way in front of the boy. He was
all in favor of intimidating him into silence, especially as it ensured he wouldn't
have to answer any questions at that moment. Behind him, Potter set about
packing up the blankets, rolling them into a tight bundle with the ease of someone
used to doing chores.
Stirring the stew over his magical fire, Snape wrinkled his nose at the smell of the
chemical preservatives that Muggles customarily put into their manufactured foods.
Yet another reason to not remain on his own in the Muggle world. Food heated, he
served out portions and set one down for Potter to claim. Snape found that these
Muggle foods were best tolerated when they were heated, so he consumed his as
quickly as he could manage.
While the boy at his portion, Snape set about to packing away the rest of the
supplies and removing traces of their presence in the area. When Potter finished,
Snape cleaned the dishes and banished them to join the rest of their supplies to
be shrunken and pocketed. The portkey was wrapped in cloth and pocketed; Snape
didn't trust shrinking and enlarging a magical item that was going to have to work
over an extra long distance. With a last study of the area for anything missed,
Snape waved the boy over. "Stand close and remain within five feet of me; I'm
making the spell only as big as the broom is long; it will fit us both sitting on the
broom as well. Once I've cast the spell, get on the broom behind me and keep
quiet."
* * * * *
Feeling pale but curious, Harry nodded, waiting to see what shape this new spell
would take and how it was cast.
With Severus' spoken commands, Harry watched as though in slow motion as
power flared from Severus' wand, glowing softly as it was filtered from Severus'
body. With the wand gestures that Severus made an outline took shape, forming
itself into a circle around him, slowly rippling like black velvet billowing in the wind
before taking flight to hover and surround him- surrounding them both.
Harry let his eyes fall to slits as though to savor the wind, however it wasn't wind
he felt; rather he was able to sense the power flowing and encircling the two of
them. For a moment it grew dark, and all he could hear was Severus' voice
muttering the final words of his spell before the cloak-like outline shimmered to
Harry's sight and turned clear. Harry couldn't help but breathe, "Beautiful..."
Severus scowled at him and gestured brusquely towards the broom, his brow
furrowed as he continued to concentrate upon the spell. Sheepish and repentant,
Harry quickly followed Severus' previous orders and clamped his jaw shut before
getting onto the floating broom behind Severus.
Pushing them off from the ground, the flight path that Severus took this time kept
true to his word; they traveled in a straight line, heading east towards the coast
with small turns to avoid hills and the last of the mountains. It got easier and
more interesting as they reached the towns that sprawled along below them. Small
roads became larger ones which met with other ones bustling with the traffic of
tiny cars, dotted increasingly with houses and then shops. Large roads met with
more large roads and directed cars on and off of highways which lead to a very
distant city.
Harry kept his balance mostly through his natural reflexes, but he found that he
was never surprised by a change in direction and was able to lean into the turns
without overbalancing or causing Severus trouble which he was thankful for. Not
wanting to rub Severus the wrong way, Harry relied mostly upon this balance and
avoided touching Severus whenever he was able; his Professor was still feeling
shock and betrayal from his perception of the Headmaster's past actions and
wasn't likely to appreciate Harry gripping his shoulders or waist.
Finally sighting the coast, Severus directed the broom along the beaches in search
of an area they wouldn't be spotted; predictably the beachfront property was
populated by some housing areas as well as a boardwalk and public beaches that
were being enjoyed for the summertime weather. Looking down at people
sunbathing reminded Harry that he wasn't wearing the most comfortable of outfits
for the heat. Surprisingly however, he didn't feel that bad off; what he wanted over
everything else was a bath and a comfortable bed.
As they found a place that wasn't as well developed as the others, Severus
brought them in for a landing with his customary smoothness although Severus'
aura was wavering with his exhaustion. Checking that there were no witnesses,
both Harry and Severus were thankful as Severus cast a Finite Incantum on the
invisibility charm and they came into view.
As Harry expected, Severus' mind used the five hours and multitasked enough to
further consider his position during the trip. Now his aura showed that he was
quite tired, and Harry didn't feel the freshest either. However, it was Harry's turn
for his thoughts to turn down an uncustomary avenue. He could agree to find
someplace here to rest before taking the portkey back, presumably to Hogwarts ...
or he could urge Severus that they should return to Hogwarts now. It would mean
more comfort sooner, but it would also mean that Severus would be worn down
and perhaps slightly less guarded when he spoke to Professor Dumbledore than he
would be when he was rested.
Did Harry dare trust Dumbledore fully to do what's best for Severus when Harry
didn't know exactly what Dumbledore had done to him or why? The instinct to
protect Severus remained, and Harry found that he didn't want to be sent to the
hospital wing- especially if it meant Severus facing Dumbledore alone.
Decision made, Harry spoke firmly before Severus could. "Sev- sir," he rethought
quickly, deciding that a little respectful formality would help his case. "You'll be
coming back with me, won't you?" When Severus nodded distractedly, Harry
continued with relief. "I think that we should either rest before using the portkey
and returning, or that I should come with you when you speak to Professor
Dumbledore."
Brow furrowed again, Severus growled, "Do you think that I require a chaperone? A
guard, perhaps?" His tone of voice was a promise of dark things to the person who
gave him an answer he didn't like.
"I think that you should have ... a witness with you." Harry stubbornly frowned
back at Severus, "And this isn't only about you. This is affecting us both now, and
I want answers, too."
"You'll get your answers in your own time. You are a student who has been hurt,
and it is my responsibility to have you checked over by Madame Pomphrey upon
our return." Severus' tone was factual, and if there was a show of concern it was
well hidden from Harry's eyes, even in his aura.
"You were hurt too," Harry argued, "Even worse than I was. Much worse."
"I am an adult and as such am responsible for myself. I will visit the hospital wing
once I've ... discussed things with the Headmaster." Although there was no trace
of emotion in Severus' voice or features, his aura roiled with his suppressed anger
and hurt.
"I'll agree to go to the hospital wing if we rest here first before taking the
Portkey," Harry returned, going for the brave and straightforward 'Gryffindor way'
and hoping it would work. "You're too tired now to deal with the Headmaster about
this serious a subject. Not alone."
Severus' anger grew as he paced despite his weariness. "My healing potions are
effective, but nothing replaces treatment by a trained mediwitch. You're going to
the hospital wing- tonight."
"I'll go to the hospital wing when you do, after your- after *our* meeting with
Dumbledore." Mulishly, Harry added, "The sooner the meeting is done, the sooner
I'll be in the hospital wing."
Severus was plainly at the end of his patience, but between the practicality of
there being a witness to monitor Dumbledore's actions and the logic of getting it
all over with the soonest, Severus finally snarled, "Fine. We're using the Portkey
now," and reached into his pocket for the item; a carefully shaped clear crystal.
Socks and trash were for shorter distances.
Harry reached out to touch it as Snape firmly grasped the broom, and the two of
them were suddenly linked as they were lifted and pulled by the navel. Seconds
passed during which everything but Severus was a blur, and finally they were
lightly dropped to the ground in a landing smoother than Harry had yet experienced
with portkey travel.
With grass under their feet and trees just behind, they turned as one to behold
the structure standing across the field from them.
Hogwarts.