Futokutei!

Land of Eternal Fanfiction

Hello…? Hello…? –pokes at ear- Okay…I'm back and ready for action! Here's a random crossover fanfic that I hope will make you laugh. No, I don't own any of the people in this but JJ and Liz. JJ…is me…Liz…is me sister…Anywho, I got this idea, yet again, while in the shower. Heh. I think I've bashed my head on the wall one too many times…Again, hope you enjoy the randomness of the Land of Eternal Fanfiction!

Oh, and one more thing: all characters are their normal ages. Liz is twelve, JJ is twelve, and Naota is twelve. The only character whose age has been altered for the authoress' sake—and the character's, because if not, the authoress might chew off his butt—is Yahiko's; instead of age ten, he is now twelve. –nods- Okay…

Chapter One

JJ sat on the couch upside down, her feet on the back and her head dangling above the floor. She wore a T-shirt that reached to her hips and tight black pants that ended at her knees and hugged her figure.

Reaching out to the coffee table, she grabbed the spork that had been Liz's victim. With the other hand, she grabbed the chopsticks that were still stuck together. Looking from one utensil to the other, she tried to decide which to use for her ramen. Her options were difficult; her decision wasn't. Gagging at the twisted handle of the spork, missing two prongs, mottled and broken, JJ threw it over her head and grinned, breaking the chopsticks apart and drumming on the air with them.

Liz sat on the floor, reading a manga, wearing some baggy pants that hung loosely from her hips, and a tank top that was tight and left about an inch of skin showing between the pants' hem and the shirt's end, her long red hair drifting to her waist. The spork flew through the air and hit Liz in the head. Growling, she spun around. "Oi! JJ-chan! What was that—OH, MY GOD! BOB!"

And with that she shoved the spork in her mouth, mottling and distorting the poor utensil even more. JJ stuck out her tongue. "Busu!"

"Chan."

"Busu."

"Chan."

"Busu!"

"Chan, chan, chan, CHAN!"

"…Jou-chan…?"

"…CHAN!"

Twitching, JJ fell off the couch backwards, landing on her face with her chopsticks still in hand, feet in the air.

"…Ow…"

Liz blinked, took the spork out of her mouth, took a deep breath, and then exploded into laughter, holding her sides. JJ sat up and grabbed her bowl of ramen. Sticking the chopsticks into the steaming noodles, she announced, "The KKK scares me."

Liz sat up, also, from where she had toppled over laughing. Sticking the distorted spork named Bob in her mouth, she blinked. "The wha-wha-wha?"

"The Ku-Klux-Klan…"

"Oh, yeah!"

"They give me the chills."

"Learned about 'em in history class."

"Mm-hm…" JJ slurped some ramen into her mouth, nodding. Spinning around on her butt, Liz whipped out a Game Boy and music from The Legend of Zelda started to play.

Jiggle, jiggle…

JJ and Liz paused, looking up. The only noise in the room was the music from the Game Boy. Liz glanced at JJ; JJ glanced at Liz.

"Did you fart?"

"NO!"

"Oh…"

JJ twitched and the started to hum the Star Wars music. Liz shrugged and went back to the game.

Clank, clank…pound, pound…

JJ jumped up, throwing the ramen to the coffee table. "That was NOT me!"

Liz snickered. "I know. It's comin' from the closet."

Her eyes widened as she looked up, JJ staring back at her. "Wha…?" JJ whispered. Liz closed the Game Boy and crawled over to the closet door. The lights flickered, and then went out, the doorknob of the closet jiggling.

"Aaaaieeee!" JJ screeched, hiding underneath her sister. Liz looked down, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes…?"

Laughing nervously, JJ rolled out from under her and stood up, panting. "Open the door before I pee my pants…"

Liz laughed and stood also. "Scaredy-chan…"

"Fat busu."

"You…went too far there."

"Gomen!"
"S'okay…"

Reaching forward, Liz's hand got closer and closer to the doorknob. It stopped jerking as soon as her fingertips brushed it. JJ started to hum the Jaws music. Liz shot her a look over her shoulder and grasped the doorknob. Twisting it, she tugged on the door, JJ hiding behind her.

"AAAAAAIEEEEEEE!"

You know those old '40's horror movies? And that cheap scream? Well, that's what just sounded, the eerie noise bouncing off the darkened walls and sending chills down the girls' backs. Liz jumped slightly.

"JJ, I haven't even opened the door yet…"

JJ sweatdropped. "I knew that." Pressing Stop on her tape recorder, the scream stopped and she shoved it into her pocket. Shaking her head, Liz tugged on the door again.

"Chikushou! I can't get this freakin' door open!"

"Wimp…" Shoving her sister out of the way, JJ grabbed the doorknob and pulled, leaning back. Pausing, she rolled her sleeves up, flexed her muscles, and started to yank harder.

"Eeeeer…gaaaah…URK!"

Liz sweatdropped and stepped away from her. "If you need me to go get your baseball bat, I'm sure Mom won't mind when she gets back from the real world, that another door has been smashed…"

"Aha!" JJ took out a chopstick, ignoring her sister, and poked it in the hole of the doorknob, moving it around until she heard a click.

Liz squeaked, covering her eyes. "JJ! You—that…LOOKED SO WRONG!"

The younger girl sweatdropped and turned the doorknob, opening the door. As she swung it open, she squalled as something—or someone—fell on top of her.

"AACK—!"

A boy had tumbled from the closet and landed on top of JJ, and Liz burst into laughter, but stopped.

"Hey…who are you and why were you in our closet?"

"And GET OFF OF ME!"

The guy sweatdropped and rolled off of JJ, standing up. Somewhere in the house, the scary Star Wars music started to play.

"Oi!" JJ popped up beside the guy. "My CD player is working again!" Glancing at the boy, she let out a happy little squeal…and glomped him.

Liz stood, blinking. In the darkness she couldn't tell who it was, so she shoved JJ off and started to whap the boy's head repeatedly.

"YOU…STALKER…! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN OUR HOUSE?"

JJ tried to get Liz to stop, scrambling here and there, but failed. "Liz! Don't beat him up! It's YAHIKO!"

Liz paused, hand raised, the other holding the boy down, and narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, right, JJ."

"I'm serious!"

The guy sat on top of Liz, how, she still doesn't know, and muttered, "Busu…"

Liz blinked, twitching. "…Wha?"

Yahiko laughed and stood up, shrugging his shoulders as the lights flickered back on. JJ snickered. "Ohhh, boy…"

Standing up, her eyes glinting, Liz growled, her sharp teeth revealed to him. "What did you call me…?" she snarled. Yahiko meeped and instinctively JJ grabbed him, hugging his head to her bosom. He meeped again.

Liz's clenched fists twitched. "How DARE you call me 'busu'?"

Yahiko wriggled in JJ's grip as she turned her back to her sister. "You are NOT allowed to pummel my Koishii!"

Liz's nose twitched as her narrowed eyes glinted again. "Koishii, eh?"

JJ nodded. Yahiko pulled away from her chest and rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, lady, I don't even know your NAME."

Growling, JJ's fists clenched as Liz's did the opposite. The boy blinked.

"Oi…I'm TALLER than you!" Laughing, he counted how many inches taller he was than JJ—only one—and the girl's face reddened with anger, her eyes turning a sheer blue—bluer than they were, of course.

Liz whistled, her face astonished. "Darn, Yahiko. You had just brought Evil Liz come out, but she went away as soon as you brought Evil JJ out!" She lowered her head, leaning forward and over to stare into JJ's eyes. JJ tried to bite her nose, but she missed by a centimeter and her mouth snapped shut loudly.

"I don't get it…" Yahiko rubbed the back of his neck again.

"Evil JJ is the hardest to bring out. Evil Liz can emerge for simply knocking me over." Grinning with satisfaction, Liz crossed her arms. "Never seen her eyes this blue since I shoved her face in that cow pie in that one RK AU!"

Yahiko looked up to the ceiling as if calculating something, then nodded. "Oh, yeah…I remember that fanfic…" Sweatdropping, he added, "So…what'd I do to make Evil JJ come out?"

Cocking her head to the side, Liz pondered this, suddenly as calm as ever. "You called her lady…and short. She hates that. And you're the anime guy she loves the most, Yahiko-kun. So it probably really made her mad."

Swallowing and blushing slightly, Yahiko laughed and backed away from JJ, who seemed frozen: he legs were spread and planted in the ground; her arms were crossed; her teeth were gritted and her lip curled as she snarled in rage; her eyes were sharp and created a new shade of blue; her pupils disappeared and she growled again.

Liz grabbed the half-dead spork and settled down on the couch, eyeing the ramen on the coffee table and wondering if it would poison her if she ate it after JJ did.

JJ took in a breath, and then let it out slowly, eyes closed. She flashed them back up to Yahiko and tackled him. Yahiko yelped and tried to get her off. She licked, bit, blew, whacked, elbowed, and kneed. Growling, Yahiko fought his way on top of JJ. She stuck her tongue, trying and determined to lick him.

He wrinkled his nose. "Sick…you just barely missed my lips…"

Liz fell over with Bob, laughing. JJ glowered at Yahiko. "So?"

"…"

"…"

"He knows you dream about him!"

"…Wha…?"

"Shove it!"

"Mm-hm. She's got a vespa bite right here…"

"What's a vespa bite?"

"SHOVE IT!"

"A hickey."

"AAACK—!"

"I SAID SHOVE IT!"

Liz nodded and shoved her mouth full of ramen, figuring that it wouldn't be contaminated if JJ had been eating with chopsticks. JJ twitched and her eyes returned to normal. Narrowing them again, she hissed, "Get…OFF…"

Liz picked up a ramen noodle and slurped it into her mouth. "You know you liked it, JJ."

JJ threw her sock at her and Liz pretended to choke and die. JJ twitched. "It doesn't smell THAT bad…"

Liz sat up and nodded. "Yeah, it actually does."

Yahiko sweatdropped. "A hickey? THERE? Oh, my God…"

JJ raised a hand and pushed him over. He laughed and grabbed her arm, dragging her with him. Landing on top of Yahiko, JJ blushed furiously, rolled off of him and to the couch. "TOO CLOSE! TOOOOOO CLOOOOOOSE!"

Liz and Yahiko and Bob laughed manically, when suddenly Liz stopped them by saying, "Wait a minute…there's GOT to be another guy in there for me!"

Gah…it's late. I need to go to bed. –yawns- Oh, and Damona! Again, not stealing the spork idea. Bob really exists. Hai. LOL
Japanese Words…:

Busu: ugly

Chan: little, usually used at the end of the name, like JJ-chan

Jou-chan: babe, cutie

Chikushou: damn

Kun: dunno…but it's used like chan, just doesn't mean little

Oh! And vespa bite: I got this from FLCL. According to that, the vespa woman leaves a mark on you when you've been dirty. I believe…LOL And what's really scary, is my sister Liz says that she found some on my neck. O.o

Arigatou! Arigatou for reading! –bows quickly- And remember to REVIEW!

Spoiler:

Liz's guy will appear in the closet next chapter, so stay with us here!