I am Jhonen Vasquez and I created Invader Zim. I am also the Countess Elizabeth Bathory. The greatest pleasure of all is to torture a child to death. Taking baths in the blood of my victims will preserve my own youth and beauty. People admire me and consider me their hero for torturing and murdering children, because that means I kick ass with so much style.

Chapter Five: Gaz

With vampire piggies closing in all around her, Gaz savagely punched buttons until only one piggy remained. Finding itself alone, it beat a strategic retreat down a corridor.

Smirking smugly, Gaz sent her avatar after it. This time, she was going to get them all... every last one.

But with a final thundering explosion, horrifying in its suddenness, the screen turned red and the most unwelcome words in the language appeared before her eyes, "Game Over."

No... NO... NNNOOOOOO!

Gaz hadn't gotten this vampire piggy after all. It got her. No way existed for Gaz to lose a game without rupturing every last blood vessel in the room, but a sneak attack was her least favorite way of all.

A raging inferno leaped before Gaz's eyes, broken bleeding bodies of the eternally damned writhing in agony before her. She leaped to her feet on the seat of the couch, screaming and screeching and thrashing her arms and kicking, working herself up to a frenzied tantrum that would get any child over the age of two sent to its room until it was ready to start acting its age. Gaz prepared to fling her GameSlave at the wall as hard as she could, remembering only at the last second that this wouldn't be the wisest move.

Frustrated in her urges to resort to her favorite method of dealing with any and all setbacks - utterly unbridled violence - Gaz first gritted her teeth like a grizzled old rat caught in a box trap, then threw back her head and shrieked until the very window panes vibrated.

This was the only time she wished Dib was around. Well, she needed SOMEONE to accuse of distracting her! Dib offered a nice convenient target at which to vent her rage, a good safe target that wouldn't do anything unfair as hitting her back!

But nobody was nearby, frustrating Gaz more than ever. The nerve of Dib. Some brother he was. He was supposed to be always there for her, ever ready to do all the stuff she didn't feel like doing! He was a great big eleven years old, but she was only a little girl of ten, still just a baby! If she felt like beating the spit out of him, then it was his brotherly duty to let her! What kind of a selfish excuse of a brother was he anyway, not being around at the one time she needed him?

Gaz grabbed a cushion and tore it to shreds with her teeth. In being such a coward and hiding like that, he wasn't letting her express her anger! She had to keep it all inside and that wasn't fair! By the time she was finished with the cushion, the living room looked like the aftermath of an indoor blizzard.

Gaz unleashed one final scream of furiously outraged dissatisfaction. Now she'd have to start all over again. She supposed worse things had happened to her over the course of her life than having to start another game, but she couldn't think of any right now.

And as soon as she had once more gotten THIS game going, she knew, oh she just knew Dib spied on her eagerly awaiting the very moment when he could cause the most disruption possible. THAT was the very second he would come along, and ... oh the outrage, the violation... he... would... TALK. And deliberately choose the very moment to do the one thing he knew would make her lose her game. Hours beforehand, she knew it, oh, she just knew it.

As Gaz thought about the moment when she would see Dib again, her hands began to shake. A couple of times, just his walking into the room had been enough to make her lose her game. Deliberately, as always.

Just thinking about how Dib would knowingly and intentionally make her lose her game, because he selfishly insisted on being beaten up only at the times he HIMSELF chose, Gaz could feel her anger building all over again. From some remote location Dib had deliberately made her angry... and she had no way of making him pay!

She slammed her fist down on the Start New Game button with renewed fury. This time she would get those vampire piggies, every single last one of them... the vampire piggies that had so treacherously cost her that last game. They would pay...

Burning with self-righteous indignation, Gaz set her face grimly and threw herself into this fresh game with a new intensity.

Revenge made the world go around.

(A/N) I didn't write Dib into this scene because the result would not only be not funny itself, it would be SO unfunny that it would make all previous four chapters not funny either.