NOTES: This is a short chapter, I know, but if this one wasn't short, the others would end at a stupid point and it just wouldn't have worked well, dammit!

Can I also just say how good it is to be back on FanFiction! I developed a slight obsession in autumn and then by spring I just abandoned it, but now I'm getting back into the full swing, even though I'll have to entice people back to read my fics, I'm enjoying being back, although it's changed a lot! I'm even attempting a short one off fic this evening, after being inspired by an amazing Sinistra/Snape fic I'm currently involved with.

So, as always, ENJOY!

Hermione struggled against the large vampire but his weight and size proved to be her disadvantage. As he got closer, she could feel his breath on her neck.

Suddenly the vampire screamed, 'MY GOD WOMAN YOUR BREATH!' and recoiled in horror as he felt his nostrils erode.

Despite her offence, Hermione seized the moment and brandished a pineapple from her back pocket, (bet you didn't see that one coming folks!) threatening to throw it at the vamp, who, jumped back in fear, landing clumsily on the floor, allowing Hermione to make her exit.

As she ran through the graveyard in search of her new friends, she thanked the Pineapple God that vampires feared pineapples as much as they did. Every slayer through out time had had a rather disturbing love for pineapples, a fruit, vampires found lethal if ever coming into contact with.

After a little while of running, jogging, then walking and finally sitting down for a couple of minutes to regain her strength, (she really did need to hit the gym) Hermione heard a girl scream. Running in the direction of the squeal, Hermione found Ron being chased after by a small vampire infant who was a couple of feet taller than Flitwick. Ron continued to scream as Hermione jumped on the infant, crushing it under her terribly un-worked out body.

Before she could mock Ron for his terribly embarrassing squeal, for which his excuse later was that the vampire infant had poked him really really hard, Hermione's well trained bat-like ears picked up yet another scream, this time from Harry. Instinctively, Hermione ran to her rescue, enjoying another quick sit down and a shot of vodka from the 'Mourners Mini Bar' (COMING SOON TO EBAY!) along the way.

After fighting off a rather beastly vampire all by herself, Honestly? Would it have killed Harry and Ron to help her?, they realised that Josso was nowhere to be seen.

'That's it!' Hermione cried in desperation, 'Come Monday morning, collars with bells on will be mandatory!'

The next day, Ron, Harry and Hermione found themselves in Flitwick's Charms classroom, as he spoke in a monotone about how demons and vampires were created. Being the geek, I mean, lively interesting and unique person that she is, Harry was fascinated, yet horrified at this new world of excitement that she had been plunged into. Ron meanwhile, was finding amusement trying to look down Hermione's shirt, whilst, of course, fearing for his best friends life. Hermione managed to sit there looking interested, all the while pissed out of her skull with all her clothes on backwards, a childish grin plastered to her face.

As Flitwick stood atop a large pile of books, he found the looks of awe, concentration and whatever the hell look Hermione had on her face. 'Don't worry, Jammy will be fine,' Hermione said slurredly, placing a drunken hand on Harry's shoulder and missing, falling heavily to the floor, giggling insanely.

'Harry, Ron, the drunken hoe is right, you shouldn't worry about Josso, the vampire's have only captured him to lure Hermione to them.' Harry and Ron made solemn faces, but attempted freaky-ass smiles non the less. Flitwick continued comfortingly, 'Look at it this way, worse case scenario; Josso is tortured by the vampires horribly and painfully while he begs them to kill him and when they finally do, after what seems like to Josso, years of unimaginable torture, they turn him into a vampire, and he then seeks revenge on us all for not helping him, doing to us what the vampires did to him.' Flitwick smiled. 'So don't worry, the chances of that happening are very slim, I mean, we have Hermione protecting us.'

Ron and Harry shared knowing glances and Hermione snored loudly, sounding as if a pneumatic drill had taken her place.

Josso found himself in a darkened room where he was chained to a bed. His momentary fear had been replaced by excitement as he searched for Draco in the darkness. Suddenly, Josso found him, as he took off Josso's blindfold. He found he was not chained to a bed, but a wall and that many other men in leather were eying him in a way that made him feel uncomfortable. Draco kissed him to make him feel more at home and told him that he was going to make Josso young and beautiful forever. Oh My God! He called me beautiful!

Josso's momentary bliss ended abruptly as he felt two very sharp teeth sink into his neck for the second time in two days. He felt a odd warm sensation as his blood was drained.

As Josso's body became limp, Draco pierced the tip of his finger and shoved it forcefully into Josso's mouth, forcing him to drink. As he did so, he felt his strength return, but more than he had ever known.

He was a vampire.

But at least he had a boyfriend.