I am Jhonen Vasquez and I created Invader Zim... BUT NOBODY BELIEVES ME!
Longest chapter of all, also much angst in with the humor... but you expected that, right?
Chapter Five: Dib
Come on... come on... come on end the auction! End the auction already! I My bid's in, just three minutes left, the auction's as good as over so END THE AUCTION!
Refresh... REFREEESH! Ahh... still the highest bidder... Now ENDTHEAUCTION!
Man I've GOTTA win those alien sleep cuffs... nobody else had better bid unless they WANT to be alien fodder!
BBB. Huh. What it REALLY stands for is Benighted Bumbling Blunderers! What else did they get outlawed just because they don't believe it works?
They just don't realize... NOBODY REALIZES... the danger we're in!
I hear him talking... all the time... about... about invasions and slaves and serving a superior race... Are they all deaf? Or are they all just stupid? Or do they WANT to surrender their free will and serve a giant all-conquering invading colossus?
If anybody who really COULD do something realized how much danger we're all in, why... HE'D fall over himself to move mountains! And the only one who does know is me... so how can I possibly do any less?
I'm glad I know what's going on so I can do something about it, and yet so many other times... so very... many... many other times... I wish he'd chosen some other skool, some other town, some other PLANET! Sure, I always knew I'd see an alien some day, but I didn't realize everybody else was THIS blind!
It's all up to me... and I just get so tired sometimes... so sick... and tired... of it all. It's like I'm Atlas... I'm just like Atlas... the fate of the entire world lies on MY shoulders... but nobody offers to hold it for even one second so I can fold my trench coat up over my shoulders so it'll be just a little... tiny... bit easier... to carry it!
Sigh.
It's all up to me... all... up... to me.
They say the doors of history can sometimes turn on some very small hinges... and I may be just one person, but I don't want the world to be destroyed. Not if as long as I have anything to say about it.
This world is just too wonderful to hand over without a fight.
Refresh... Two minutes. Two minutes to go.
We've got so much here... so many, MANY, wonderful things...
Like the way the clouds shine when the rain is over and the sun is coming out... for those few seconds the clouds shine just like the sun itself!
That first taste of Chinese food when I've had to go a couple of days without it because the only thing around is pizza!
When I start up my favorite album on a Friday evening when the weekend's just starting, ohhh MAN, no matter how rotten the week was, that first riff ALWAYS makes me glad I'm alive just to hear it!
Watching my favorite movies when I need cheering up... I've been needing 'em a whole lot more lately... I'm so glad they made 'em!
The way the robins sound first thing in the morning when I'm the only one awake, I mean, not even any video game noises or ANYTHING...
My favorite little corner of the park where nobody can see me from the road and I can just relax away from everybody with enough trees and bushes to hide me no matter what season it is...
That feeling, oh that wonderful wonderful FEELING, when I've managed to not get beaten up at skool and made it all the way to my own room after not one bad thing's happened to me all day and when I lock the door behind me it means nothing else will either; of course that doesn't happen often but that makes it... all the sweeter... when... it... does...
Wait... a... second...
Hm.
I just... realized... I like people I've never met a LOT more than I like the people I HAVE met...
I... I - I love the human race... yes, really, I do... but, well... I just don't like PEOPLE most of the time.
Always calling me "crazy"... always telling me to go to the Crazy House for Boys and not come out... shoving me into lockers... whispering... snickering... pushing me around beating me up tripping me and THEN pointing and laughing and NO! No. I'm not at skool now. Tomorrow morning will be time enough to go through all that again.
So then... just why am I trying this hard? I... I don't know... I never ask I just DO it! Oh no... Not only did I just bid an entire month's allowance on these things... but I'm sitting around watching an online auction like I have nothing else to do! SOMEBODY ELSE BID PLEASE! I CHANGED MY MIND! BID BID BID!
One minute. Refresh. Still top bidder... Refresh. Still... Refresh... Come on somebody please, I don't want them any more!
Why DO I do all this? The only people who don't treat me like dirt avoid me entirely. Or they both treat me like dirt AND avoid me as much as possible...
Fifty-five seconds fifty - four seconds fifty- three seconds fifty - two seconds fifty - one seconds...
Whew... eyes...
Hey, the girl across the street is going out again. He always opens the door for her. I guess she must like him doing that. I bet they'll get married.
Me... someday... maybe... Refresh.
They say love makes the world go around. Everybody has someone who loves them.
Everybody but me.
I know she sure did. I think Dad does, but I'm not sure sometimes. HER? Tchehhhh yehRIGHT.
Do I love Dad? I'd also love it if he was home more. Her... Hmmmmmm... hmm...
The Inuit language has 150 words for snow... and Japanese has quite a few words for love. I sure know English could use some more. One word for when the other person lets you feel it... treats you half decently... and another word for when you're trapped with the person you'd LOVE to get away from once in a while and everybody keeps telling you that you LOVE them and they actually seem to even half believe it themselves...
Well I DO NOT love getting threatened and hit, I know that much... and that's about all -
Thirty seconds. Refresh.
Hey, Darkbootie's been a pretty good friend! The Eyeballs don't usually even talk to anybody my age, let alone let them join, but he actually looked at my evidence and offered to sponsor me in as a Junior Member. He's almost like a dad I don't have to make an appointment to talk to. Only trouble is, he works in a restricted area so I've seen him in person only once, and even that was by sheer chance. We can't visit; I don't even know where he lives... none of us can give our home addresses to any other member. Our video conferences will have to do... and if it's an emergency, like when Zim nearly ran over the earth with Mars, well then, I'll just have to sneak into NASAPLACE. Again.
Good old Darkbootie.
Fifteen. Refresh.
Everybody has someone they love or consider a friend, and everybody has someone who loves, or at the very least, likes them. Every single person who gets killed or is taken a slave in this coming alien invasion will have been somebody else's best friend, or girlfriend or boyfriend or parent or child or something. That is more than enough reason for doing all that I do.
And as long as the earth is safe, then just maybe, out of all the people on it, maybe one day I just might find one person who I know loves me. That's enough. That's all I ask. One.
Three. Refresh.
Maybe someday I WILL know once more what love feels like. Love. The love that makes the world go around.
All I have to do to find love is save the world.
Re... fresh... EEE - YES! I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON! The auction's FINALLY over and I WON! Those cuffs are MINE! Heh heh heh heh heh... sleep well tonight, Zim, but your days of freedom are numbered! Now to -
Waitaminute... the price went UP at the last second! Somebody tried to SNIPE me! Good thing I bid more!
Maybe love does make the world go around, but money sure helps it to turn!
THE END