This was a tough chapter for me, and so I suppose now would be a good time to acknowledge my two beta readers, Laurie and Katalyn, both of whom, in their own ways, encourage and challenge me to make this better. Also, if it's not obvious, I failed to mention in the first chapter that this story picks up more or less where season 10 left off.

Usual disclaimers apply.

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A couple days after their conversation, as planned, Luka picked Abby up and they went to Carter's for a visit. After a tour of the house, they retired to the sitting room for coffee. For a while,the trio gamely exchanged awkward small talk; slowly shedding the residual of their difficult history for this strange new fellowship. Eventually Abby put her cup down and stood up.

"I need a cigarette," she announced. Luka and Carter both looked up at her with slight amusement. "I'm quitting." She insisted defensively. "I'm going to go outside for a while and when you're ready, Luka, come on out and we'll go." She shot Luka a knowing look. Carter got up and they embraced warmly as they exchanged thanks and goodnights.

Luka looked at his hands as Carter watched Abby leave and then sat back down. He studied Luka for a moment. "She's something, isn't she?" Luka glanced at Carter suspiciously but nodded silent agreement. "I probably shouldn't keep you too long. Abby will be waiting."

Luka smiled. "No, it's ok. I think she wants us to talk."

"Ah, I see. So what should we be talking about?"

Luka shrugged. "We're concerned how you're doing. How you're taking everything. I guess I'm supposed to know what to say to you."

"Right. Well, what is there to say? I'm as good as can be expected."

Luka considered this response and then chose what he thought would be a safe subject to continue the discussion. "How's Kem?"

"I haven't talked to her much since she went back to Africa." Carter admitted. "I guess I'm just not sure what to say to her either."

"This will be a challenging time for you as a couple."

"More than that," Carter hesitantly confided. "I'm not sure we are still a couple."

"You both just need some time..."

Carter was thoughtful for a few moments. "Before the baby died I had this whole life with Kem and our child planned out in my mind. It all just seemed to fall so perfectly into place. Now I'm afraid what Kem and I had was an illusion. That with the baby gone we'll find that there's really nothing there; it will turn out to all have be a mistake and was never really meant to be."

"But you love each other. That's real."

"I don't know. That's just it. Did we fall in love with each other or did we fall in love with a fantasy? It's the question I wouldn't let myself consider when everything went wrong with Abby, and now here it is again.

Luka looked questioningly at Carter. "What do you mean? What's Abby got to do with it?"

"When my relationship with Abby was failing it was easier to blame her and run away than think about what I might have done to contribute to our problems, or worse, to consider that maybe we never should have been together. We both tried to make it work but it would never have been enough if we were together for the wrong reasons to begin with. I want to believe Kem and I love each other, but what if we've been trying for the wrong reasons? If she doesn't want me without the baby?"

"So, then, why don't you try to find out?"

Carter shook his head. "I don't know. I'm still hurting. She's still hurting. I don't want to go over there if I don't know what I'm doing, especially while we're both still vulnerable. I just need some more time to be sure about what I'm feeling. And to hope she's doing the same." Luka nodded slowly. "I guess I owe you an apology," Carter said after a long pause, glad for an opportunity to change the subject.

"Why?" Luka looked confused.

"I always blamed you for Abby's unhappiness. But I've had plenty of time and experience to realize it wasn't that simple. I shouldn't have given you such a hard time."

"Thanks. I appreciate it. Now I don't feel so guilty for all those times I wanted to deck you." Luka smiled hopefully and was relieved to see Carter laugh. "No, it's ok. Anyway, things with Abby and me were complicated too. There was plenty wrong that didn't have anything to do with you; things I should have done differently." Luka, serious now, stared at his hands.

"Maybe you didn't do so bad." Carter suggested reflectively. "It seems like there's something there between you two." He paused, then smirked in mock-disgust. "In fact, it always drove me crazy." He gave a short laugh.

Luka grinned skeptically and then stood up and stretched, with Carter following suit. "I think if you and Kem really have something, you'll figure it out."

"You're ok, man. I was wrong about you." Carter slapped Luka on the shoulder affectionately. "And believe it or not, seeing Abby with you now might not be so bad." He smiled at the anomalous confession. Luka didn't respond. "You better not keep her waiting any more, now that we've had our talk."

Luka extended his hand to Carter. "It was good talking to you", he said sincerely as they shook hands. "Good luck."

"Yeah, and you owe me. Next time it's your turn to spill your guts," Carter insisted as he saw Luka to the door