Sorry for the delay getting this next chapter up. August was unexpectedly busy. I hope you all haven't given up on me.

Usual disclaimers, etc etc.

Luka could hear the frenetic twangs of Hank Williams Jr pouring from the tv in his living room as he stood in front of his opened refrigerator and expectantly held up some beer and Coke at Carter. Carter indicated the beer, and Luka returned to the living room with their bottles. It was Monday, and at Carter's urging, they were enjoying a sort of "boys night out" of pizza and football at Luka's place. Carter sat on his big leather couch and surveyed the bachelor pad as Luka handed him his bottle and sat down opposite him. "Thanks. Nice digs, by the way."

"Yeah, well, it's home." Luka shrugged, as he opened the pizza box and loaded his plate.

Carter snickered as he did the same. "It's a lot homier than the mansion I grew up in. Or, " he paused, more seriously, "the big empty house I'm sitting in now." He took a drink.

Luka glanced at Carter. "Have you talked to her?"

"No. Not really talked to her anyway. Not yet." He paused reflectively and then shook himself, as he reached for his pizza. "So, what about you? You feel like doing any talking?"

Luka waved him off dismissively. "And miss this?" He gestured toward the tv.

"Yeah, well, I figured that couldn't have been why you agreed to have me over. You hate American football," Carter joked. "Besides, you owe me, remember?"

Luka grinned, shaking his head. "How about we just stick with the football tonight, okay? I should only have to suffer one indignity at a time."

The men's focus the first half of the game was limited to their food and beer and attempts by Carter to explain various rules of the sport and defend its merits to a dubious Luka, who found his version of football much more entertaining. But by halftime, boredom and beer had begun to take their affects. After a bit of job-related small talk Carter, in an attempt to break through Luka's reticence, dove in: "Why'd you leave Croatia?"

Luka looked levelly at Carter for a moment. "For pizza and football, what else?" he tossed out nonchalantly.

Carter smirked, then gamely tried again. "How many kids did you have?"

Luka sighed with resignation at Carter's doggedness. "Two. A girl and a boy."

Carter shifted uncomfortably as awareness of Luka's loss began to sink in. "I'm sorry." He paused uncertainly.

Luka gently brushed away Carter's concern. "It's ok." He smiled encouragingly.

"How do you come to terms with it: having everything and then losing it?"

Luka looked almost amused by the question. "'Come to terms'? You go forward. What choice do you have?"

"Easier said than done."

Luka wordlessly allowed that to be true.

Carter persisted, dissatisfied with the lack of real answers. "Would you do it again? I mean, knowing what was going to happen, would it still be worth it?" Luka didn't reply, avoiding Carter's probing gaze, so Carter continued, "Even if I could un-love Kem and the baby, would I? I suppose I can hardly even say I was a father and yet seeing my son the first time, just the amazement and wonder at the sight of my own child, even though it was for such a short time, changed me in ways I never imagined. I'm just not sure what to do about it now." He felt his emotions threaten to overwhelm him so he fell quiet.

Luka nodded, Carter's admission allowing him to slowly let down his own guard. "Becoming a father for me was like that-how do you say?-being more than the sum of your parts. I wasn't just a man who now had children. I became another person. A father. You're a father, Carter. For the rest of your life, you're that child's father, whether he's here or not. And I think all love, all true love, it's the same. This person, they become a part of who you are. And then they're gone. And then what? You grieve and move on, but you're changed. Becoming reconciled with one's past, present, and future, that's what's hard."

Luka abruptly fell silent. Both men sat in quiet contemplation for several minutes, at a loss for words, emotionally drained, and perhaps a bit embarrassed by their openness. Finally, Luka broke the atmosphere by getting up for another drink, offering Carter one along the way. Carter nodded and shifted and stretched in his seat. "You know, we should be keeping up with the football game; get some highlights, memorize the score, or something, just in case we need an alibi for anything. No one will believe us otherwise," he joked. Luka laughed as he returned to his seat.

They finished watching the game, carefully confining themselves to small talk, and when it was over Carter began to make motions of leaving. Luka got up and saw Carter to the door, where they stood in awkward but friendly silence. "I'd do it again," Luka blurted. "My wife and I, we had our problems even before... We were young, passionate-in anger as much as love." He admitted laughingly. "There were stresses of being inexperienced parents, financial strains, times I should have been more patient, more supportive, more available. We both made mistakes. Marriage, parenting, it was hard challenging work, but being able to share that kind of love with another person is what made it worth it."

Carter nodded, shook Luka's hand, and headed home, both men full of their own thoughts and emotions.