Last Straw
A Story from our favorite Beverage's Point of View.
'…..' are thoughts Shake's thoughts.
Disclaimer: I do not own Aqua Teen Hunger Force characters, or any likeness. I am merely making a story using the characters, Which I Do Not Own. If you accuse me of saying that I did, I will deny you up and down. The quote I just used does not belong to me……………..I own nothing…Not even the Ginger Ale..
A/N: Hey people, it's Waldo, this is my first fanfic. I decided that the ATHF section doesn't have many fics, so I typed one up. Hopefully this one goes over well. Reviews are always welcome, not flames though, I get burned enough by lighting candles.
Summary: Shake learns a lesson that he won't soon forget, but knowing him, he probably will.
Zoom to living room
"SHAKE! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" screams a very irritated box of floating fries. 'What a wonderful wake up call.'
"What now Frylock?" asks Shake, rubbing his eyes. "You woke me up, and I was having the best dream, it was where-"
"I don't give a damn Shake, can you please explain why Meatwad came into my room crying about you threatening to stick a steak knife through his eye?" 'Little nark. When I see that sad excuse for a wad of meat……'
"Well, maybe if you knew the whole story, you wouldn't run in screaming your head off and disturbing me! The little creep ate my steak, and since I had nothing to scare him with, I used the steak knife! Come on, it's not like I did it or anything! Geez, you're so inconsiderate!" 'My God, they act like I bombed an orphanage or something….that's not a bad idea….'
"Now I didn't eat it! I thought that maybe if we left something better out for Santa instead of cookies, I'd get better presents!" explains seemingly innocent Meatwad as he rolls into the room. 'So stupid.'
"There is no Santa, you dumbass! He died because he realized he gave presents to a disgusting piece of meat who doesn't deserve anything!" 'Great, he's gonna cry now.'
"WAAAAAAAAAH! I killed Santa! WAAAAH!" 'My God, is it me, or are these people so predictable.'
"Shake, that is it!" screams Frylock, while pointing a 'menacing' fry at Shake. "I am so tired of your empty threats and your idiotic logic! You never help out around here, you complain about every problem, which, might I add, is almost always your fault! I can't take it anymore! I'm just so sick of you!" yells Frylock as he comforts that annoying thing.
"Well if you are so SICK of ME then why don't YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE! I didn't do anything to deserve this!"
"And that's just it, you don't do anything! This is my house, so you can't kick me out, I'm kicking you OUT! DON'T COME BACK!" MeatWad continues crying from all the yelling.
'How dare they question me, The Great Master Shake! Obviously if I do something, God either told me to do it, or I damn well felt like doing whatever I did! And let's not ignore the fact I was getting kicked out of 'my' house. I can do no wrong, none whatsoever, but they deem fit to kick me out anyway! They'll see, they're nothing without me…..'
"Fine, FINE, I WON'T COME BACK! I'LL JUST MOVE IN WITH CARL!"
"FORGET IT, IT'S NEVER FRICKIN' HAPPENIN'!" Shouts Carl from his house. (A/N How does he know what goes on at all time?)
'I am pissed, no, beyond being pissed! Forced out the door, which, by the way, was shaped especially for me, which adds to the evidence that this was my damn house!'
Cut to M.S walking down the street
Noticing the scarce houses on the street
"Didn't realize how little neighbors we had….I don't need them, I'm Master Shake, I'll find somewhere to go, people are generous, they'll-"
"Hey cup!" 'Cut off…How rude…what now? I'm just walking down the street, which should be a privilege for this drug fairies..'
"Hey, dumb ass! You're the fuck-tard who lives with those freaks and keeps me up with all your wanna-be rap!" Some homo and his friends coming my way with a couple of brass knuckles and a……..metallic bat…'Damn, I'm gonna get my ass kicked because Meatwad listens to shit. Even when I'm away, they're getting me in trouble.'
'You know, most people would have ran, or call me stupid for standing there. But, being the genius I know I am, they'll get scared, expecting my to run away! See what I'm saying?'
"Hehehehe, you think you can hurt me with your plastic toothpick?" 'Only then did I realize my awesome plan backfired just as the bat came in contact with my head…….' Blackout
Zoom to back alleyway
"Damn, I hurt in places a cup shouldn't have." Coming to consciousness, I think that's what Frylock said it was, all I know is that I was sleeping and woke up.
"Oh what the hell did they do…..uhhhhhhhhhhhh…" I went to check to see if any of me was cut shudder off. 'Whew, my hands are still there. My straw…….MY STRAW!…Oh, wait, it's there. Good. Wait, why can't I see anything… "Oh GOD, I'M BLIND!"
"Shut up asshole!"
"Up yours!" 'Nice neighborhood. Thank whoever the hell is up there that it was just a blindfold. I'm in an alleyway, I hurt like hell, and I have no where to go.'
"Well, I can't think of how this could get any worse." Spoke too soon.
Thunder Booms in the distance
"Great, perfect. What the hell did I do to deserve this? Well, now I cannot see how this can get any worse." I flinch, for fear something will happen. Nothing, except for the sound of rain and growling of a bloodthirsty dog. Nothing to worry about. 'Back this up, growling of a bloodthirsty dog? Don't look, don't look.' I slowly turn around, and I come face to face, well, not face to, I'm six feet tall, but I look down to find a……….Chihuahua.
"You Can't do anything, you small, pathetic, HOLY HELL! GET OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT! OWWWWWWWWW!" I'm sure if I were an onlooker, this would be rather funny, in its own way, to see a cup running around being attacked by a runt of a dog.
"OW OW, huh? It's gone! It must of ran and realized it didn't stand a chance against I, Master Shake!" I smile in content.
"Master Shake? Don't look like much of a Master, if you ask me." A voice tells me, didn't have to worry about more pain, it was definitely a feminine voice. 'Sides, what can a girl possibly do?'
"Well," I said, turning around, "I didn't ask you, now did I, and even if I did-AH! Don't sneak up on me, right in my face and everything!" This girl wasn't as tall as me, but I didn't expect to have someone three inches from my face. "Who are you?" She was wearing a motorcycle helmet, I couldn't see her face.
"Well," she said, as she removed her helmet, revealing the most shocking emerald eyes ever, "My name is Aurora, not like you need to know… Wtf mate? Why are you wearing that? Are you promoting a new drink from Burger Trench or something?" 'No one, not one person has ever asked anything that has to do with my…….superior cup body…what the hell am I supposed to say, yea, I used to live with a floating box of fries and pieces of meat with eyes and mouth, and me? Oh, I'm just your average six foot tall cup, with a large straw…A very, VERY large straw…..yea, that'll go over real well…..I'll lie, simple, what a wonderful thing not telling the truth can be!'
"Well, if you would shut your mouth for possibly more than two seconds, I might just tell you! Does it look like I'm showing everyone about the new pistachio flavored milkshake?" 'You know, they need more pistachio milkshakes………..'
"Yes, that's exactly what you look like, shit-for-brains!"
"You are about to not have a mouth, cuz I'll rip it off!"
"I'd like to see you try! Oops, there goes my offer to give you a ride if you rip off my mouth, too bad, see-ya!"
"Damn you! Fine, fine, take your mouth!"
"How immature you are." 'Ha, if she only knew.'
"Least I'm not pretending to have the abilities to have my mouth ripped off, then given back to! Which doesn't even make sense!"
"Geez, are you the damn Energizer Bunny or what? It's like you never shut up! Listen, before my patience wears too thin, do you need a ride? Answer carefully, if it's a smart ass answer, you can just kiss it goodbye."
"Yea, I need a ride, to……..possibly somewhere………." 'Ride is good, ride is very good, but usually a ride is used when you have somewhere to go! Damn I feel the urge to piss her off.'
"…….Well, I suppose you can crash with me, but don't get too comfy, you're not there to live with me."
"Don't worry, I won't spend more time than needed at your 'apartment.' I would hope we aren't walking, I'm sick of that. What we using to get there?" 'Finally somewhere to go.'
"My Harley Davidson, it's parked at he end of this alley. No room to store your costume, so try to wear it a bit longer, your Highness, for Heaven's sake if we discomfort you." 'Yea smart one, that probably explains the helmet. How the hell am I gonna ride her motorcycle? She lead me to a rather shocking taste in colors for a usual red and black don't mess with me bike. 'But nothing wrong with orange and brown, orange is my favorite color anyway.'
"Um." 'How do you get on these things?'
"What, never ridden a motorcycle before?" Guess she was shocked that not everyone does what she does.
"Well, it's not like I abandon everything at any given moment to ride with my gang of druggies who would do splits around town if they were desperate enough."
"Um! Okay, I'll just get that comment outta my head, the only thing saving me from vomiting is knowing you don't even have enough friends to have a gang!"
"Well, what does a ten-speed count for?" I hated being mocked yet I love being unpredictable. I heard her snicker a few times and showed me how to, er, sit on the thing.
"?….Anyway…….You sit in the backseat and hold on to my seat when we start going, k?" Hoped she realized how vague her directions were.
"It's not brain surgery smarto. Sit on the backseat." 'Demanding bitch.' Then she started laughing.
"What, I'm on it! What the Hell is so funny? Sorry if I can't get my ass regulated on this damned seat!"
"Nothing, just chill and get comfortable…."
'I'd say the ride was comfortable, but when every second you're scared of flying off the seat, it would be an understatement.' She lead me to an uggo apartment. God knows what crack whores live here….
"Hey buddy, I'm just trying to start a conversation, pay attention for once." 'Wasn't really paying attention to what Aurora was saying, I was too busy not trying to bitch slap all the old people around! Friggin' starin' at me like I'm a psycho..'
'You'd think that the cat dragged in, ate, then spit up in the hell-hole I'm forced to set foot into. Swear I saw cockroaches having an orgy near that rotting sandwich in the hall. Auroa, whatever the Hell her name is, lead me to a pink door that looked like a cat was skinned three times over.
"Welcome to the Fuzzy Door! My humble abode…Ah, not really, has four walls, a fridge, booze, a toilet….what else you need in life?"
"Fuzzy Door? You call your hang out The Fuzzy Door? Why? Did they have a free crack-all-you-can sniff party, and then you decided to name your little hideout?"
"That's why, you sadistic bastard." She pointed to door, which, as good as any guess, wasfuzzy. Fuzzy Door,…. nah, the randomness of Aqua Teen Hunger Force still beats the shit outta this.'
"I finally got the place cleaned up, so don't act too much of a slob." If only she knew who she was talking to.
"Bathroom down beside the living room, kitchen to the right, two bedrooms near the bathroom. There ya go. Now do you wanna take off that costume? It's starting to annoy me."
"And I give a rat's ass if it annoys you because……..?" 'Damn. How was I gonna get out of this one?'
"Because I'm the one giving you shelter from courtesans that'd be more then willing to rip up your ass…………." She replied, going for my lid."I'll just pull this off." 'Before I could back away, she tugged, which is useless to do. It's not gonna come off that way lady.'
"What the hell? Is this thing glued to you or what? It's like the fucking mask from R.L. Stine." 'Great, that's all I need, a screaming bitch about a monster…….it's not like I have a tail and bat wings or something.'
"Woah, woah, hey, what are you doing?"
"Trying to take off that costume. Doi, smarto."
"Ever heard of the detectives Aqua Teen Hunger Force?" This was gonna take some time.
Three hours later
"So you're actually a giant milkshake?" 'Is this concept really that hard to understand?'
"Yea, and my idiotic, selfish roommates, who are not important enough to talk about, are bastards and kicked me out of my house." Fire trucks are heard outside
"Ha, some blind guy probably caught his house on fire, haha……..Don't you know how to laugh? It's a joke, cause blind people can't cook….. Were you born blonde but dyed your hair or something?" questions Shake.
"No, just that I have a better sense of jokes than you," explains Aurora, while sitting herself on the couch.
"Do you have a TV, stereo, Xbox, or maybe a computer? This place should be called The Boring Hell Hole."
"Yes, but you won't be staying here for long, you'll be at your house using your TV, if you play your cards right." Shake looks puzzled at this, but before he can get a word in edge-wise, Aurora cuts him off. "Don't you miss your friends, Frylock or Meatwad……….. At least Frylock? And before you even ask, I know them, yes." responds Aurora in that matter of fact voice.
"No, why would I? I'll only go back when I want my stuff, which is ninety percent of everything in that house."
"Eh, I see that you're a harder nut to crack. Oh well, I like a challenge. Think about this. You don't like to work, where are you gonna get any type of income, your friends are limited in supply with that attitude that you carry, and not everyone can deal with a talking milkshake. You think your friends are nothing without you, and maybe so, in the stream of things, you have unbalanced their lives… But, it works both ways, you guys obviously need each other. You could use a change of attitude, it would make your life so much better," explains Aurora, opening a Ginger Ale bottle.
"What the Hell lady? Am I a 'challenging' game for you? I don't know how yet to get any money or shelter, but that's none of your damn business unless you want to contribute. Not like I'd take your money. And by the way, it only works one way. I'm not changing, by any means, how I am for the jerk wads I'm forced to live with. And who the hell are you anyway!" shouts Shake while standing up.
"Not like you need to know, but I'm one of those life-lesson deities that are made to right the so many wrongs that people like you do all the time. Usually I don't resort to this," Aurora says calmly, pulling out a Desert Eagle from her jacket, "but I'm not having a case where I couldn't help. Since you won't willingly, you'll change your ways by force. I'll be damned if my record is ruined by the likes of you." With that, Aurora pulls Shake to the window while pointing the Desert Eagle right between his very wide eyes.
"I'll change, I will! Just put that away, and I'll leave." pleads Shake.
"Hmm, heh, fine, but I can watch you whenever I want, so you better hold up your end of the bargain. Jump out the window, and I shall report my success."
"JUMP OUT THE FRIGGIN WINDOW! I said I'd be good!" 'This crazy bitch is gonna kill me either way!'
"Listen, this is dream-like thing. You'll wake up when you jump. Not really sorry to do this, See-ya later!" shouts Aurora as she pushes Shake out the window.
"HOLY SHIT, I'M GONNA DIE, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" 'OH MY GOD, I'LL NEVER GET TO HAVE MY PLASMA NOW!'
Zoom to living room
"AHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M GONNA DIE!"
"Shake, wake up," Frylock slaps Shake. "SHAKE!"
"Oh My God, Frylock, you're here! I'm in the living room, oh God, it was all a dream!" 'I hope this isn't a dream.'
"What was a dream? Shake, you alright?" Frylock is a little freaked out, Shake never had a seizure before.
"Where is Meatwad?" 'What happened?'
"He's in his room. He's in time out. You had a fit after he electrocuted you. He was playing with a steak knife in an open socket…………Are you okay? Do feel pain anywhere? How's your breathing. Is your-"
"No thank you, mother, cuz that's who you sound like, my mother."
Shake, haven't you learned anything?
"Who said that?" 'Is Aurora here?'
"No one else is here besides us Shake. Are you really sure? I mean, we can to the Emergency Room. There-" Shake took a breath.
Better think before you speak. ' Who is that?'
"Um, no Frylock, I'm okay." Say it "But thanks anyway." 'Where did that come from?'
"As long as you're okay."
Next day, Shake is seen walking down the street
"Please no gangs, please no gangs……." Shake's eyes dart around, making sure this isn't a repeat of what happened………. "Aw geez, good……..AH Chihuahua!" A small Chihuahua is seen running around Shake, barking.
"He seems to take a liking to you." States a voice behind Shake.
"Well it's annoying," replies Shake, turning. "AH! It's you, you put me through Hell, pointed a gun at me, threatened my valuable life, and push me OUT A DAMN WINDOW!"
"Glad you learned your lesson. Don't be so uncaring to your friends. It is unbecoming of you, Shake. With all your ungratefulness, I have a feeling we'll see each other again. 'Til then." And she went as quickly as she came, not before getting a wink across.
"You put me through that hell to learn a lesson! Come back here! Oh never mind. Probably just recovering from my shock. Heh," mutters Shake. 'Yea, that's it, just hallucinating." And Shake continued down the street whistling an unusual happy tune.
"I guess Shake will always be Shake. I'll let him be for awhile," said a cheery voice. And with that, she vanished.