Thanks to all who are still patiently reading and reviewing. Sorry I'm so slow with this.
Abby had allowed herself at best only peripheral involvement in Luka's life for some time. Previous expressions of concern had either been rebuffed by him or caused more harm than good. She felt she had no right to interfere in his life, particularly as he moved on to other relationships. Besides, she'd had her own life to worry about, her own problems to iron out. And yet now she felt herself being drawn to him again, almost magnetically. It wasn't that she thought she had any grand solution to offer. It wasn't even that she was overly worried for him-certainly she'd seen him far worse off. There were no outward manifestations of trouble: acting out, missing shifts, or other things she'd seen in the past. It was more a vague air of melancholy that lingered over him, a mechanical disconnect with patients, terseness with coworkers.
The concern for him spread from a place in the back of her mind to a daily awareness of his presence, his demeanor, his mood. In short, Abby couldn't stop thinking about him, couldn't keep herself from being always mindful of him out of the corner of her eye.
Abby watched, but she kept her concerns to herself. She told herself it was for Luka's ultimate benefit that she not meddle. But the truth was that he was getting to her again, which caused her no small amount of unease.
Carter caught her in one such moment at the ER desk, her eyes having wandered briefly from the chart in her hand to Luka, walking past at the far end of the room.
Carter tapped her chart and Abby turned to him blushing slightly. "If you have a minute, I wanted to talk to you."
"I thought we already had our 'talk'," Abby saucily returned, grinning.
"Ha, ha. I wanted you and Luka to have dinner with me one evening this week. My treat."
"What's the occasion?" Abby's curiosity piqued. Their first evening of socializing had been…interesting. Things had changed since then, relationships and circumstances shifted. What would it be like for the three of them now?
"No occasion, really. Just talk. And Luka's not so suspicious, you know." Carter joked.
So they met up at a nice restaurant a couple evenings later. Carter and Luka were already seated at the small square table when Abby got there. "What am I doing here?" Abby thought to herself as she approached the table, glancing back and forth between her two ex-boyfriends chatting amicably. Was she the only one that felt weird about this? Did they ever talk about her when they got together, compare notes? She self-consciously smiled and took a seat on an empty side of the table between them as they looked up and greeted her warmly. Carter seemed perfectly relaxed and happy to be spending time with his two friends. Luka seemed to tense up, uncertainty flashing across his face, as Abby sat down, but maybe that was just her imagination.
"Grow up," Abby admonished herself. "We're all adults here, not teenagers."
"Did I miss anything?" She asked lightly.
"Haven't even ordered drinks," Luka responded. The three sat in silence for a few seconds until the waitress, noting the party's completion, approached the table. Carter and Luka looked at Abby expectantly.
"Uh, club soda."
"Draft." Luka looked at Carter, who glanced at Abby before ordering a ginger ale. Luka cursed to himself and turned to Abby helplessly. "I can order something else." Carter had a way of making him look like a fool when it came to Abby's drinking, Luka thought bitterly.
"No." Abby's cheeks felt hot. "Really, it's ok…" Why did I agree to this?
Carter cleared his throat guiltily. "It isn't Abby. It's me." He paused. "I'm not really supposed to drink."
Luka's expression hardened. "Thanks for telling me."
"It's not your fault. You aren't responsible for other people's actions and choices. I could have said something before. I didn't."
So they'd been drinking buddies? Abby looked at Carter with a mixture of surprise and shared guilt. She felt pained for Luka, but couldn't bring herself to look at him.
"Oh God," Carter groaned, rubbing his temples. "I'm sorry, guys. This is definitely not going as planned."
"It's ok," Luka said quietly, waving off Carter's apology. "Don't worry about it. Let's just order. I'm hungry." All he cared about at that moment was changing the subject.
They studied their menus quietly, glad for the diversion and the opportunity to clear their minds and refocus.
Once the waitress had taken their orders and picked up the menus Carter took it on himself to get the conversation moving.
"I wanted you two to be the first to know." Abby and Luka's attentions turned to Carter expectantly. "I'm going back to Africa for awhile."
"Kem?" Abby asked.
Carter gave a sideways nod. "We're going to talk. I don't want to leave things hanging between us indefinitely. We'll figure things out, I hope, and see what happens from there."
"Sounds like a good plan," Luka remarked encouragingly.
Abby looked dubious. "You aren't actually thinking of moving to Africa, are you? And do you really think she'll want to move here?"
Carter shrugged. "I really don't know. We'll take things as they come. That's why I'm going."
"It just seems a little reckless to me."
Carter laughed. "Why are you against me going?"
"I'm not. I just wonder if you're being realistic, that's all. It's great to believe in the happily ever after, but people have a tendency not to factor real life into that."
"This from the person who thinks up every reason not to let herself be happy," Carter retorted.
Luka snorted impulsively, then quickly tried to cover it with a cough.
"Uh, ok. I thought we were talking about you, not me." Abby defensively looked away.
Carter softened. "I don't want to be reckless. That's why I haven't gone sooner. But there's something to be said for being willing to take risks sometimes. I realize there's a fine line there, and I want to do the right thing. But I'm not going to know what that is sitting around here. I need to go find out."
Abby was silent, thoughtful. Luka cleared his throat tentatively. "When are you going?"
"As soon as Kerry clears it on the schedule. She's working on it."
Luka nodded. "Good luck. And give my regards to Kem."
Abby smiled at Carter apologetically. "I hope things work out for you. Really."
"Thanks." Carter smiled back.
They made small talk as they finished their meal. Abby contemplated the men as they talked. Things had changed, certainly. But some things hadn't changed. She and Carter, affectionate one minute, grating on each other's nerves the next, but always in the end friends, for better or worse. She and Luka, stuck somewhere between friends and lovers, neither fully comfortable in either capacity, never able to satisfactorily define their current relationship. Things left hanging. Like Carter and Kem, she thought. Except, unlike her, Carter was doing something about it. Is that what bugged her?
After dinner, they lingered outside the restaurant for a bit. Carter and Luka studied each other for a moment and then shook hands, former tensions forgotten. Carter then turned to Abby and smiled. "Thanks for coming."
"Sure. Thanks for dinner."
"We should alldo this again sometime."
Abby felt the urge to burst out laughing, but nodded politely instead. I'd rather be run over by an ambulance, she thought.
After saying his goodbyes, Carter walked off, leaving Abby and Luka standing together awkwardly. Abby looked at Luka and rolled her eyes. "Well, that was fun."
Luka smiled. "Yeah."
They stood silent again briefly. Luka was just ready to take his leave when Abby spoke up. "I was thinking, I'd like it if the two of us could talk sometime."
"If this is about the drinking, don't worry about it. It's past."
"Please?" Abby's eyes begged him to agree. There was too much hanging now for her to stand, too many thoughts bugging her. If Carter could go off to Africa, surely Abby could sit down and have an adult conversation with Luka, just to clear the air and see if he was ok.
So Luka agreed, promising to make arrangements as soon as it was convenient, and they went their ways.