Disclaimer: I don't own the turtles, I just play with them. The Celestial Café belongs to me, and any similarity between any real people or places is totally coincidental.

Before the fic Author's Notes: This is the longest chapter yet, and I apologize for taking so incredibly long to push it out. And this will be the end of the flashbacks. For now. I reserve the right to have them pop back up whenever I feel like it.

FunFact:Austin refuses to pick a 'favorite' color. She doesn't want to be biased against all the other colors. But she has 'great affection' for the color known as green.

Misadventures of the Mentally Unstable

Chapter 12

Italics are Austin's thoughts or flashback
"Holy shit, Aus! Not only is your couch butt-ugly, but it weighs a TON!"

There was a grunt from the other side of the couch that sounded remotely like "Up yours, David." The two of them struggled up the steep, narrow steps to her new third-floor apartment. Well, new as in, new to her. The building itself had probably been standing for a century or more, but the apartment had been recently renovated.

The old tattered sofa they were hauling upstairs was the last of Austin's furniture. It had taken them less than two hours to move her things in, seeing as she really didn't own all that much. Five large cardboard boxes held all of her worldly possessions, including pots, pan, dishes, books, cleaning supplies and clothes. She was planning on making a major shopping run with her first paycheck from The Celestial.

With a relieved sigh, they set the couch down after maneuvering it around the little half wall. Austin flopped herself down and grinned up at the dark haired young man sweating lightly and leaning over the back of the couch.

"You are just too awesome, David."

David gave her a smug look and flexed a bicep. "Why yes, I am."

Giggling, Austin waved him over to the fridge. "Have a beer. And grab me one while you're at it. They should be cold by now."

"Tsk tsk, Austin, providing minors with alcohol."

"Oh please, you've drank a hell of a lot worse."

The young man shuddered as he opened the fridge. "Don't remind me."

Austin sat up on the couch, resting her arm on the back of the sofa and watched David as he pried open the beer bottles. It was hard to believe that this was the same boy who had curled up naked on her bed crying when he was only seven years old. And even harder still to believe that he was half-demon. He had charm, grace, good looks, and a killer sense of humor. He'd come a long way from the being the child that had been force-fed blood every day, prophesying horrors never before seen in this world.

David had lived with Austin, Jeremy, and all the other 'Miracles', as they'd called themselves. Yes, it was a childish nickname, but it had been a miracle they'd gotten out of the Institute alive. Austin and David had eventually struck out on their own though, and somehow both had ended up in New York City. He had been more than willing to help her get settled in her new home. Had David not been like a brother to her, she might have considered taking him as a lover. He was only four years younger than she, but was mature beyond his years. Everyone from the Institute had grown up way too soon.

"So… have you told Jeremy where you are yet?"

Austin sighed and took the beer from him, scooting over to make room on the couch. "Yes, he has my new address and phone number. I'm sure I'll get a call from him any day now."

"He just worries about you, Aus. And you know he still loves you."

She grimaced. "That was almost six years ago! We were kids, for god's sake. Besides, he has a girlfriend now."

"Doesn't change the fact that he does."

"David…"

"Do you still love him?"

Austin didn't answer. She took a rather large swig of beer instead.

"You do, don't you?"

"Let's talk about something else."

David sighed and checked his watch then set his half empty beer bottle on the coffee table. "I need to get going, actually. Promised I'd pick up Steph from work."

Austin matched his sigh. "Yah… thanks for helping, David. I really appreciate it."

Standing up he held out a hand and she accepted. He helped her to her feet and gave her a quick hug. It was awkward, since neither of them were used to meaningful hugs. "You have my phone number, Austin. Don't be a stranger, ok? I'll be here whenever you need me."

She nodded again and walked him to the door. "I'll see you around, David."

With a sad smile, he patted her on the shoulder then left the apartment, his heavy footsteps thudding down the stairs and echoing in Austin's ears. She closed the door and looked at her beer. With a frown she threw her neck back and chugged the rest of it. The dark brew made her want to gag as it flooded her system. Austin didn't skimp on beer. This was good stuff; imported dark ale. Strong, too. Tears started to blur in her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away. Then she strode over to David's unfinished bottle, and downed that quickly as well.

She didn't want to think about Jeremy and what she left behind right now. There were four more beers in the fridge. Within the hour, they were all gone.

Susan still hadn't called me back by 5pm. I'd spent all day pretty much just sitting on the couch staring at the phone, willing it to ring, but not really wanting it to. I know what an odd predicament I must have put her in. The long lost daughter she gave up almost twenty years before just shows up out of the blue one day asking to see her. It must have sent her reeling into the realm of surrealism. I wonder what she would say if I called her back and added into the message that she wouldn't be able to get a hold of me tonight because I had a date with a giant talking turtle who rode a motorcycle. That might just break her brain. Either that, or she'd have me committed to an institution. I shuddered at the thought.

And as for my date, for I'd finally decided that's what it was, I was becoming more nervous and apprehensive as the day drug on. I shouldn't have agreed to go out with Raph. I should call him back and tell him that I'm definitely not going out with him. I should tell him I can't see him anymore, and I should tell him he's not really as sexy as he likes to think he his. I should him tell him that nothing is ever going to happen between us. I should lie to him and say all of those things, but what I really should have done? …I really should have gotten his phone number. I highly doubted that he and his brothers were listed in the phone book.

And so, 5:01pm found me at my computer desk, having finally abandoned the couch for a more productive project. The internet is an amazing tool. You can find anything, and I do mean anything. With just a few words and clicks, I found myself looking over a diagram of turtle anatomy and I quickly discovered just how much the mutagen must have changed their bodies. Unbidden, my mind again flashed to Raphael's physique, and I wondered just how different he was from me. I really didn't want any surprises when we finally… I mentally smacked myself away from that train of thought. I was not going to go there. I still had willpower. I could control myself. In theory…

I busied myself by looking at pictures of shells. Carapace, plastron… ok, I could remember those words. Unfortunately they didn't have a search option for 'mutant' turtles. I clicked around some more, reading up on turtle facts, and realizing how very little I really knew about them. When I finally stumbled onto a page that described box turtle mating rituals, I wasn't sure whether I should be scared, or intrigued. Besides, how much of that really applied now anyway? I mean, Raphael was already aggressive which was half the attraction, if not all. Maybe he wasn't even a box turtle to start out with.

I finally flicked off the screen, determined not to think about Raph's skills as a lover. That train of thought was dangerous to follow. Besides, I had to get ready. It was almost 6:30 now, and I only had two hours until he got here. Of course, knowing him, he'd show up early just to catch me off guard.

I wandered into my bedroom and stared into my closet, realizing that I didn't have a clue what I was going to wear. I hadn't done laundry in almost a week and was swiftly running out of clean clothes. Jeans were definitely on the agenda though. I'd ridden a bike before, and anything less than denim just wouldn't cut it. Raph had been right, tonight was supposed to be cool.

Stripping off my current ensemble of tie dye pajama pants and a white tank top, I slipped into one of my other favorite pairs of jeans. A pair that wasn't covered in sewer slime and god knows what else. They were nice and tight in the butt, and loose and flared on the legs with green ivy embroidery on the cuffs and up the side seams. They were damn sexy if I do say so myself, but I'd always been partial to ivy décor.

I pulled on a black satin bra and adjusted it while I once again looked into my closet. With a frown, I pawed through the clothes, determined to find something that would knock Raph on his ass. If I was going to get all wobbly-legged and short of breath by looking at him, then he damn well better feel the same about me.

I finally found what I was looking for. My eyes lit up and I grinned. The blood red velvet top had a gathered peasant style neckline, with a small tie in the front. It showed a sinful amount of cleavage, but still left plenty to the imagination. The sleeves were flared at the elbows in a bell curve and I smiled evilly as I looked at it. He'd definitely like this. And if he didn't? …well… I'd find someone else to go home with; someone who appreciated it. This time I didn't bother chastising myself for the assumption that something was going to happen between us. I was starting to feel a bit reckless and looking forward to my night out with Raph. It must have been the shirt. That always happened when I wore this particular shirt.

My pride and wild abandon soon faltered though when I took a look in the mirror. The stitches stood out on my forehead like a nun at a gay pride festival. The swelling had gone down, and the flesh wasn't quite so red anymore, but the stitches were still black and ugly and kinda crusty now. I'd always been a fast healer, but a couple days were too quick even for me. I was going to be stuck with the stitches for my date. Staring at them in the mirror, I tried to decide whether to put a bandage over them or not. Even if I'd owned cover-up, that would have been out of the question; stitches and makeup don't mix. Besides, I don't wear makeup. In fact, I'm very anti-makeup. Growing up I hadn't really had any women influences to show me the glories of powder, blush, and eye shadow, and now I just found them unnecessary. The only things I owned were lip gloss and a couple shades of light lipstick, which I hardly ever wore.

I finally decided to just let the stitches be. A large white bandage would probably just draw more attention to them anyway.

I set to work on my hair, trying to tame the frizzy curls, but knowing I was fighting a losing battle. With a grunt of frustration, I finally pulled it all back in a loose braid that ended just below my shoulder blades and secured it with a velvet hair tie that matched the shirt. It wasn't outrageously sexy, but it looked cute. I clipped on a dark red ribbon choker and gave myself a little nod in the mirror. It would do.

A low whistle from behind caused me to jump. Normally this wouldn't have bothered me all too much. Normally, it wouldn't have hurt either. But when I heard the whistle, I was on my hands and knees reaching under the coffee table to grab a pen that had fallen and decided to make its home there, my ass high in the air. When I jumped, the backside of my head hit the edge of the coffee table and I let out a rather undignified curse at the sharp pain. I scrambled out from under the table and stood up, rubbing the now sore spot on my head. This was great. Just great. With my luck, I'd probably have to call Donatello and have him put in more stitches.

Turning, I glared at Raphael who was now standing just a few feet away, and giving me that smug look that I'd come to hate. Or love. Depending on how you looked at it. I pulled my fingers away from my head, relieved to see that there was no blood on them.

"You're early." I pointed out and placed my hands on my hips in what I hoped was an admonishing gesture.

"You're wearing a bra." Ah. So I guess he'd noticed yesterday then.

"God, you're such a pig. I don't know why I agreed to this. Stay here. I'll be right back." I stomped off to the bedroom to check my hair one last time and grab a jacket. Sure enough, I'd yanked some strands of hair out of the braid, so I'd have to pull it out and start over. Luckily, it didn't take too long. I was just reaching for the leather jacket I'd laid out on the bed when I caught movement from the corner of my eye. I turned to see Raph leaning against the door frame looking approvingly at my room.

"Nice."

"Enjoy the view while you can, it's all you're ever gonna see." Grabbing the jacket, I strode over to the door, gripping the handle to pull it closed behind me, but I ran into a large green roadblock. Raph wasn't moving from the door and I glared at him. "I thought I told you to stay out there."

He just looked at me with a little half-grin, his eyes slowly raking over my body. "Very nice."

I didn't pull back when he reached for me. Dammit, I was going to stand my ground if it was the last thing I did. His hands caught me around the waist and gently pulled me towards him. That simple movement sent my heart pounding, and I briefly wondered why I'd even bothered getting dressed if he was going to make a play for me right here and now. It would have saved a lot of time if I'd just come out into the living room naked. Hell, we could have gone for it right there on the floor. But Raph had different plans.

I'd expected to feel his hands all over my body, teasing and insistent like they were the night before. I'd expected him to push me back into the bedroom and onto the bed, and then have those wonderfully strong hands rip my clothes off. I'd expected that we weren't actually going to leave the apartment the entire night, and he'd be here with me until morning. With just that simple movement of his hands, that's what I'd expected. But what he actually did, I hadn't expected at all.

He kissed me. Soft, tender, and very slow. One of his hands gently went to the back of my neck and held me against him. I was shocked, to say the least. This action seemed very un-Raph like. But then, I'd only known him for a couple days. Maybe I'd had him pegged all wrong.

Just as I recovered from the shock of the kiss and realized what was happening, I discovered I wanted to kiss him back. But it was too late and the moment was broken; he pulled away from me, a grin forming on his surprisingly soft mouth. I'm sure I was flushed, my lips parted just slightly in surprise and my breathing heavy. Quite honestly, I don't know how he resisted pushing me up against the wall and commencing with a heavy make-out session. I'm sure my face and body movement was screaming for it. Instead he stepped away from me and back out into the living area.

"We're gonna be late. We should get going."

I stared at him. He really was a bastard. He'd meant it when he said he was going to wait for me to come to him, but he wasn't going to sit idly by. He was going to press every one of my damn buttons to help me along the way. With a start, I realized the game he wanted to play. A battle of wills. Fine. He wants to play, I'll play. I smiled slowly and sweetly, and tried to calm my pounding heart. Pulling on my jacket, I tried to pretend like the kiss hadn't meant a thing. He knew that I was faking it, but I could see the look of satisfaction on his face. He saw that I was going to play.

"Where, exactly, are we going?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, highly doubting it was going to be dinner and a movie.

"You'll see when we get there." Raph opened the window and swiftly climbed out, then reached back in for my hand. "C'mon."

"I have a front door, you know."

"And it faces a busy street. C'mon." He gestured insistently at me. With a sigh I grabbed my spare keys and shoved them in my back pocket hoping that I didn't lose this set as well.

Reluctantly, I crawled out after him onto the fire escape. In the three months I'd lived here I'd never actually been out on it, and I realized now just how high up off the ground it seemed. I didn't like the feeling at all. Not necessarily because I was afraid of heights, but more because I had no idea how old this fire escape was, and with my luck it would probably buckle and crash to the ground under my fat ass. I grasped the rusty railing and looked down over the edge. In the dark alley, I could just make out the shape of a motorcycle. Taking hold of my hand, Raph pulled me gently down the rust covered stairs. He must have seen that I wasn't too thrilled about being out here.

I let him lead me down the escape with only a few creaks and metallic groans alerting the night of my descent. Raph didn't make a sound, and I envied his graceful silence. When I finally dropped the last few feet to the ground, he caught me lightly around the waist to help steady me, although both of us knew full well I would have landed fine on my own. He let his fingers linger for just a moment longer than necessary then turned to the bike. The light from the street didn't quite reach this far back into the alley, but from what I could see it looked like there was something covering part of the bike. When Raphael picked it up and pulled it on, I realized it was a jacket. A rather nice big leather jacket. Nicer than mine, actually, and I wondered where in the world he'd gotten it from. It did a nice job of covering his shell though, and anybody who didn't bother to take a second look would just think he was another rider on the street, decked out in leather and weird pants.

Grinning, he picked up a helmet that had been sitting on the back of the bike and held it out to me. I looked at it, then smiled and shook my head playfully. "No thanks." I shouldn't have bothered re-braiding my hair. I'd be lucky if the tie even stayed in, but the reckless feeling was building up again and I wanted to be wild. Screw safety laws.

Apparently Raph felt the same way because he tossed the helmet to the ground unceremoniously, and grinned even wider. With a practiced, effortless movement, he lifted his leg over the bike and straddled the seat. Looking over his shoulder, he silently gave me an open invitation to join him. I didn't hesitate.

My heart thudding wildly in my chest, I climbed onto the bike behind him, unsure of where to hold on. Solving that problem for me, Raphael reached back and grabbed my hands, pulling them around him and I found myself pressed against the soft suede that covered the hard carapace underneath. I could just hold on to the sides of his plastron with my hands, thumbs resting underneath where his warm leathery skin met the shell. I wondered if he could feel it, and if it was an unpleasant touch, or a welcome one. With a deep breath I held tightly to Raph, the expectation of a wild ride through the streets of New York running like electrical currents through my body.

"Ready?" His voice carried back to me sounding smooth and dangerous, speaking of things to come.

I hugged myself to him, my chin finding a rest just above the top of his shell, my cheek against his neck.

"Ready."

We took off like a bat out of hell, and I barely managed to keep a grip on Raph's shell. The motor on the bike was surprisingly quiet and I realized how he was able to park below my window without me hearing him. Don must have done some sort of adjustments it, because this was definitely no ordinary bike. Raphael knew how to handle it though. We flew out of the alley and I was sure we were going to die, but he turned sharp into the street and before I knew it we were passing cars left and right. There was no headlight; Raph was guiding us by the light of the city. We were a dark blur on the streets, weaving in and out of traffic, and I've never experienced anything so thrilling. The wind whipped around me, my braid flipping wildly around. The cool night air chilled my skin that wasn't covered, but the rush of adrenaline more than compensated.

I had no clue where we were going, but I didn't want to get there too soon. This was way too much fun. We dodged this way and that, narrowly missing cars, trucks, pedestrians and stray dogs. I was amazed at Raph's reflexes, and clutched onto him all that much tighter.

My excitement turned to horror though when a siren blasted behind us. I whipped my head around and could see another motorcycle darting around obstacles behind us. A police cycle. My first thought was that I was shocked any officer could keep up with Raph. The second was that we would be in a shitload of trouble if we got caught.

"Faster!" I turned back around and yelled in Raph's ear. I could swear I felt the smile on his face rather than see it. He gunned the motor and I almost lost my grip. I struggled to keep a hold until I felt his left hand firmly grasp mine and hold it against him. If I hadn't been so freaked out that he'd taken a hand off the handle of the bike, I might have enjoyed his touch. The siren grew slightly less shrill and I knew we were gaining ground on him. He was having trouble keeping us with us since we cast no light to guide him. Despite Raph's expert riding skills though, I could tell the turns were a bit more jerky since he only had one hand on the bars. I wanted to tell him to not worry about me, but I was honestly more afraid of falling if he let go of my hand.

A loud honking that overpowered the siren behind us caught my attention and my eyes flew wide open as I looked ahead and realized there was a semi headed straight for us, not fifteen feet away, and cars to both sides.

There are very few moments in a person's life when they think that they are going to die in less than ten seconds. And contrary to popular belief, life does not flash before your eyes. At least not mine. Instead, my senses start to take in details. Things I'll never see again. Sounds I'll never hear again. We were close enough, I could see the dead bugs on the grill of the semi, and I thought that I would soon be one of those bugs. I could hear someone yelling on the street nearby; not at me, but at someone standing next to him. He yelled "Don't forget the cheese!", and part of me was sad that I'd never know who he was, or why his companion shouldn't forget the cheese. But I could smell Raph over all this though. It was a dark scent, spicy and rich that spoke of a risk and danger, and I was surprised I hadn't noticed it until now. Mixed with the smell of the leather, it was wonderful, and I knew I'd never get to smell it again. This hit me more than anything else.

With a gasp and a cry, I buried my face against his neck, not wanting to see my own death coming for me. There was a whoosh of air, and I felt my body tilt drastically, and the bike turn. We're not gonna make it, I repeated to myself silently, like an ancient mantra. But we did. How he kept from spilling us, I'll never know. The wind whistled in my ears but I didn't lift my head. My heart was pounding, and I had a deathgrip on Raph. I was frozen to him, listening to the sounds of the traffic, sure that I had just died but my mind hadn't caught up yet.

The siren quickly faded behind us, and the whistle of the wind died. Raph slowed the bike down, and guided it through more turns, careful and unhurried, almost leisurely. I still didn't look up. The currents of air grew softer on my skin, and when he finally stopped the bike it was so subtle I didn't even realize. It wasn't until he turned in the seat, gently removing my fingers from where they threatened to dig into the hard boney surface of his plastron, that I discovered we were sitting still, and the lights and sounds of the city seemed far away.

Raphael climbed off, then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me from the bike. I slid off in a rather ungraceful impersonation of a pile of goo. The only thing that kept me standing was his arms around me, and I clung desperately to him. Pride be damned, I was just lucky I hadn't peed my pants from that scare.

"You ok?" He asked. All I could do was nod; I didn't trust my voice yet.

We stood like that for a few moments until finally my heartbeat slowed and I thought I could stand on my own. Then I weakly pushed away from him, and he let me go.

"That scared the shit outta me!" I glared at him, but it was only half-hearted. I could see the light still dancing behind his eyes and I knew that he'd gotten a rush from that near-death experience. Looking back, he'd probably been in complete control of the bike, but I hadn't known that at the time. God only knew what he did when he was alone on the motorcycle; probably things that no sane person would attempt. …And dammit… if I didn't want to hop back on the bike and do it all again. Sometimes I wonder just where my brain is. But then again… I knew where it was. It was back there behind him, taking in his wonderful scent and holding onto him for dear life. It was a wonderful feeling, and I couldn't wait for the ride home, even if I ended up dead by the end of the night. At least I would have died happy.

Reaching out, he tucked a strand of loose hair back behind my ear and I shivered slightly. "You're cute when you're scared shitless."

I wrinkled my nose in mock disgust, but the comment made me want to jump up and down in joy. Hey, I'm a girl. He's a guy. And he just told me I'm cute. Just because I don't like people doesn't mean I don't like compliments.

"You're just trying to get in my pants."

"I don't need to try. I could have had you last night."

I wanted to smack him for being so arrogant, but I knew he was telling the truth. Instead I tried to look offended, but I could see he didn't fall for it. I tried to brush it off and looked around instead, to find out where we'd finally stopped. I saw trees. Lots of tall, dark trees. "Where are we?"

"The park."

"…why?"

"You'll see." He gave me a mischievous grin that I swear he borrowed from Michelangelo. Turning back to the bike, he wheeled it into some deep bushes, effectively covering it from sight. When he returned, I saw that he'd left the jacket as well. Then he took my hand, and pulled me along through the dark trees, away from any discernable path I could see. I had no clue where he was taking me.

Let it never be said that Raph doesn't know how to have fun. Or at least… that he doesn't know how to treat a lady right. Ok, scratch that one too; I'm far from a lady. Let it never be said he doesn't know how to show me a good time.

Nine o'clock found us sitting in the crook of a very large tree twenty feet from the ground. The little hollow area was large enough for the two of us to sit comfortably without having to squeeze up against each other. Not that that would have been such a bad thing. But the space that it gave us allowed me to relax after my death defying thrill ride through the streets of New York. If I'd have paid attention in science class, or biology class… or herbology or whatever the hell class it is that tell you about trees, I might have been able to tell you what kind of tree I was sitting in. But since it was dark, and I didn't really care, all I can say was that it was big, and leafy. Raph had jumped up first, and then leaned down to pull me up and help me climb the branches until we'd reached this nice little crook. His familiarity with the tree told me he'd been here before, but I didn't ask how many times, or with how many girls. I really didn't want to know that right now.

It was an excellent vantage point. We could look down on all the people wandering the park, but they'd have a hell of a time trying to spot us. Besides, almost everybody's attention was focused on the stage in the distance. The rock band playing would probably have been too loud had we been any closer, but Raph had the perfect spot that let us enjoy the music without it being overly obnoxious. We could talk and easily be heard, or we could just sit and listen to the locals pretend at being rock stars; which is what we did for awhile. The music was good. Not fantastic, but at least it didn't suck. They had a wide variety of cover songs that they managed to get through without mangling too bad.

The music and the atmosphere was relaxing, and I tried to remember when the last time I'd had a good time like this was. Many years had passed since I let myself enjoy someone else's company that was for sure. Taking a pause from watching the people dancing down by the stage, I looked over to Raph. He was leaning against the main trunk of the tree, one leg perched on a branch, the other lazily hanging out in the air. And he was almost nonchalantly twirling a sai in one hand, glints of light bouncing off the sharp blade every once in a while. His other hand was resting close to my thigh, but not touching.

I leaned back as well and watched him for a few moments in the darkness; if he knew I was looking at him he didn't let it show.

"Do you always bring weapons along on your dates?"

The corner of his mouth raised just slightly and I watched as he balanced the tip of the blade on one finger for a while, and then flicked it into the air with an imperceptible wrist movement. He caught it neatly by the handle and replaced it in his belt, smooth as silk. Show off.

"Never go anywhere without 'em."

I gave a little indistinguishable murmur since I really had no response to that. Besides, it was impressive.

"Can I…" My voice trailed off. I wasn't sure if it was polite to ask if I could touch his weapons.

He shrugged and pulled the sai out again, flipped it around, and stretched it out to me, handle first. As I took the cold steel in my hands, I couldn't help but feel a bit in awe of the weapon. Holding it gently but firmly, I inspected the sai in the moonlight. It was beautiful. As I said before, I've got a thing for pretty shiny weapons but usually I'm not allowed this close to one though; for my own personal safety, of course. The metal just begged to be stroked though, and I ran my finger along it slowly, feeling the smooth surface. I could sense Raphael's eyes watching me, and I wondered what I looked like to him. Probably like a child seeing a first snowfall, in awe of the magic and wonder of what she was seeing. Or perhaps like a lover, caressing the skin of her partner. There was a history to this weapon and I shivered as my finger reached the point. Men had died on this weapon, I was sure of it. The aura seemed to flow off it into my mind and I could practically see the blood being spilled, but it didn't bother me. I didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable, and later I'd probably question that fact. But for now all I saw was the sai.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I slowly handed it back to him, but reluctantly. He took it nodding his head just a little as if he knew what I was thinking and placed it back in his belt. I shivered. The night was growing colder and I wanted to be warm. What I really wanted to do was snuggle up against Raph, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, for many reasons. One being, this was Raph, and he didn't seem like the snuggling type. Two, I don't snuggle. I've taken lovers before, but not snuggling type lovers. I prefer the wham-bam-thankee-ma'am approach to sex. Attachments and commitments are just too much to bother with, so I was terribly upset at myself for this new development. Sex was fine. I'd decided I could handle sex with Raphael. Wanting to snuggle was a separate matter entirely.

So I just leaned back against the tree again and watched the happy couples passing on the path near the foot of the tree. They looked so happy, so young and in love. The band on the stage had dropped the hard rock and were starting into a slow romantic ballad. I grimaced. One couple had stopped a few yards from us and were slow dancing to the tune, his hand placed lovingly at the small of her back, and her head leaning against his shoulder in a timeless gesture of affection.

I watched them for a moment then turned to Raph. "I swear to god, if you ask me to dance, this date is over."

He raised an eye ridge at me. "Do I look like I dance?"

"I'm just warning you." I pointed down to the euphoric couple. "People like that make me sick."

"Happy dancin' people?"

"No. Well… yes." He waited for me to continue, so I did. "People who think that love and romance is all there is to live for. I mean look at them. I bet they haven't even had sex yet. Want to know how I can tell?"

"You're gonna tell me anyway." But he had an amused smile on his face, so I knew he wasn't going to mind.

"Damn right I am. This song is slow, but it's not that slow. It's a slightly upbeat song that's basically talking about sex. And his hand is on her back. Her hands are around his middle. Their bodies aren't as close as they could be, and they just have this air of innocence. Well… at least she does. Now, if they'd had sex already, they would be dancing much closer; his hands would be on her ass, and she wouldn't have that dreamy look on her face. It would be more… expectant. Like she knows that she's gonna get laid later. I can just imagine what's going through their heads right now."

I was on a roll, and Raph wasn't about to stop me. "See, she's thinking how lucky she is that she's found a guy who's willing to wait. And he's thinking that if he tells her he's willing to wait, then it will make her want him even more and they'll end up sleeping together sooner rather than later. Love is a joke. They think that being in love is this magical wonderful world that makes their problems go away, and all you need is love, and love heals all wounds, and all that bullshit that songs like this imply. What love is, is just an excuse. For people like that," I pointed to the couple again, "who are too afraid to make it on their own." I paused and stared down as the couple started to move away from the path. In spite of all that I'd said, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy as the guy leaned over and gave his girl a soft kiss on the cheek and squeezed her hand. I'd been that girl once… although never that innocent. But I'd been loved like that, and I'd thrown it away. In the past six years it had never hit home quite as much as it did sitting here in this tree with Raphael.

The band played on and I collapsed back against the tree, my little tirade at an end.

"Sounds like someone got burned." Raph was looking intently at me and I didn't respond right away. He'd hit a bit too close to the mark, and I didn't want him asking any questions. Not that he would, Raphael didn't seem the type to pry.

"I choose to be alone. Things are much simpler that way."

"Yah… but are you happy?"

"Of course I'm happy." The response was automatic and empty, and I cringed even as I said it because I knew he'd see right through the lie.

"Right."

The last song had ended and more people were starting to walk along the path on their way home. I had nothing more to say so I sat watching them pass by, trying my hardest not to think about the turtle sitting next to me. When at last the crowds died down and the park was fairly empty and once again dark, almost a half of an hour had gone by since we'd last said anything. I was freezing. Even with my jacket on, the night was cool as summer was slowly fading into fall, though I knew it wasn't just the weather that was chilling me tonight.

"I think… you should take me home now." I lowered myself down out of the tree not looking back, climbing down a couple branches, and then dropping awkwardly to the soft grass. Raphael landed beside me with hardly a sound, and we made our way back to the bike in silence.

The ride home was practically dull compared to the reckless journey earlier in the night. It was nearly midnight and traffic had slowed considerably, and even though we broke all the city speed limits, it just seemed to have lost the spark from earlier. Pulling into the alley below my apartment I slid off the bike, on my own this time, and pulled the leather jacket tighter around myself. I still had my keys, so I figured I'd just let myself up the stairs; there was no need to climb the fire escape. In my opinion at least.

Raphael got off the bike as well, and nodded to the iron ladder. "I'll walk you up."

"That's not necessary. I have keys." I pulled them from my pocked and jingled them lightly. "I'll let myself in."

"Then I'll already be up there when you open the door."

"Raph, please…"

"I'm comin' in."

"Goddam-" My protests were cut off by the sudden pressure of his lips on mine. He was so quick I'd never even seen him move and I whimpered softly and tried to push him away, but his hand on the back of my head held me firmly to him, again. It was soft, sweet. It was just like before, and my mind screamed for him to stop. I didn't kiss like this. This was an innocent kiss, a virgin kiss. A first date kiss that just barely hinted at what the second date kiss might be like. Only this time he wasn't letting go. He wouldn't let go until I gave in, and that's exactly what I didn't want to do. …And it's exactly what I did.

I was tired of fighting it, and instead I relaxed into his arms, letting one of my hands slide up around his neck, the other grasping at the edge of his plastron, pulling myself against him instead of away. The kiss deepened and I felt the light pressure of his tongue on my lips, and I marveled at how gentle he was being. With a soft sigh I gave in to his demands, and found myself kissing him like I hadn't done with anyone for the past six years. There was something more here, and it frightened me. I didn't want it and at the same time knew I didn't want to live without it.

When we finally pulled apart, my head was swimming in a sea of confusion, and he was gazing at me with such intensity that I thought I might melt.

"I'll walk you up." He said again, his voice rougher than normal. All I could do was nod.

With his help, I managed to climb the fire escape again without falling or injury. When we reached the window, he opened it and slipped inside then reached out to help me. The instant the window was shut he had me up against the wall, kissing me again, this time more insistent, more wanting.

A small beep from the kitchen counter seemed to drag my mind out of it's haziness and I realized that there was a message on my answering machine. I ignored it. There was nothing more important than what was going on right now. Raphael's mouth was working wonders on mine and I clung to him again, whimpering and making other small cries and sounds of longing. His hands were under my shirt, at my waist again where they seemed to be spending most of their time lately. Against the wall, I had no way to pull back from him, even if I'd wanted… and I didn't. It would have taken a miracle to drag me away from him now.

The beep came again, and not more than a second later, the phone rang. It startled me and Raph pulled his head back enough just to whisper, "Let it ring." His mouth moved to my throat and I gasped as he nipped at the sensitive skin there. The phone rang again… and again… and my voice picked up with a somewhat less perverted recording than earlier in the day.

His teeth had moved on to my earlobe and I trembled under his touch even as I heard my own falsely cheerful voice asking the caller to leave a message. Another beep, and then a voice.

"Austin? Dammit Austin, if you're there pick up."

My blood ran cold, and my whole body tensed in shock. I knew who it was from the moment he'd said my name. If there was ever a turn-off more effective than a phone call from Jeremy, then I didn't know what it was. Raph sensed the change and pulled back abruptly, looking at me with confused annoyance. I don't know what he saw in my eyes. Fear maybe? Guilt?

"Aus, please. I need to speak with you, it's important." There was a desperate tone to his voice that I knew wasn't just normal concern for my well being. I hadn't heard him like this in a long time. There was a sigh and a long pause. "I'm not playing games, Austin. You need to call me. You know the number." There was a click, and he hung up.

Silence followed. Raph was staring at me intently, and I numbly pushed him away. He wouldn't move at first, but soon gave way when I pushed harder, almost violently. Practically running to the phone I picked it up and turned the handset on.

"Who the hell was that?" Raphael was angry. Angry, horny, and probably frustrated beyond belief. I didn't blame him in the slightest, but I did ignore him.

Dialing quickly, I hit a wrong number on the keypad, hung up, and then tried again. Jeremy answered on the first ring.

"It's me."

"Oh thank god. Thank god, Aus. I thought you'd disappeared."

"I've only been gone a few hours." Looking down at the machine I saw that six messages had been left. Good god, are they all from Jer?

"I know, but when I couldn't reach you, I thought the worst…" I felt a hand on my waist and tried to push it off, but Raph wouldn't be deterred. He didn't make any other movements, but just stood there.

"This isn't a good time, Jeremy."

"Dammit, Aus, this is serious. First Lucas, then David…"

"What happened to Lucas and David?" I narrowed my eyes. Jeremy didn't answer right away, and I wanted to curse at him.

"They're gone. We… I don't know where. Lucas disappeared almost two months ago. He got in a fight with Trin and left to blow off steam… and he never came back. We thought it might just be Lucas… y'know… being Lucas. But then David…"

"I talked to David two weeks ago. He came in the Café."

"Well then, you're the last one to talk to him… I didn't want to call you until I knew for sure something was wrong... I had Harold look into things… someone trashed his place a week ago, and he hasn't been seen since."

I swallowed back a lump in my throat. The fear was steadily growing, and I didn't like where Jer was taking this conversation. "Maybe he's just… on vacation. Someone probably broke in and stole his stuff."

"They didn't steal anything. They trashed the place, Aus. When Harold finally found all this out today… god, I've been trying to reach you ever since. I thought they'd gotten you too."

"Who, Jeremy? What's going on?"

"I think… I think Adair is tracking us down again. Or someone connected with him."

"That's… that's not possible." The phone had started shaking in my hand at the mention of Adair's name and I wanted to run and lock myself in the bathroom, and never come out.

"I want you to come home, Austin. Get on the next flight out here, and don't tell anyone where you've gone."

"I can't do that. I have a job…"

"Dammit Aus, this is serious. I can't protect you when you're on the other side of the country."

"I don't need your protection. You're overreacting." It sounded weak even to my ears, but I didn't want to think about what would happen if Jeremy was right. "I'll go check on David's place tomorrow. I'm sure Harold's wrong."

"For god's sake, don't do that! The last place you should go is his house; they might still be watching it. Fuck, Austin! Use your head for once! They found David and he wasn't even living under his real name. You are. Get your ass out here. Now."

"Don't tell me what to do. I'm staying here."

"Dammit, Austin."

"After I contact Susan, they won't be able to touch me. Even Adair wouldn't mess with the step-daughter of a U.S. Senator."

"Don't be too sure about that."

"I'm hanging up now, Jer. Don't call back."

"Au-"

I clicked off the phone and set it down on the counter still trembling. This was not good. This was not good at all. If Jeremy was right… but no. No, he wasn't right. I refused to believe it. Lucas was just having one of his fits and hadn't come home yet. David was probably… somewhere safe. He'd be home soon. And Jer was overreacting, again. I let out a deep breath and hung my head.

"What the hell was that about?" I jumped at the voice. In my conversation with Jeremy I'd completely forgotten Raphael was in the room, let alone standing directing behind me. Whirling around, I'm sure he could sense how frightened I'd become on the phone. His hand still touched me and I stepped away, not wanting to feel anything right now.

"This isn't a good time, Raph. You should go."

He grabbed my wrist and wouldn't let me get away. "I'm not leavin' until you tell me what the fuck is goin' on."

"It's much too long of a story." My eyes found a piece of lint on the floor and I focused on it, not daring to look up and see the look in Raph's eyes.

"I've got all night."

"I don't… please, I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Adair. He's the psycho that locked you up, isn't he?"

My head jerked up and I stared at him, my mouth hanging open slightly. "How…"

"Donnie's voice carries. I know a lot more about you than you think."

My jaw snapped shut and I wondered, not for the first time today, how the hell things had gotten so out of hand so quickly. Three nights ago, my life had been relatively normal. Now… my life was fast unraveling and I could barely keep up.

The pressure on my wrist lessened and Raph pulled me gently to the couch, forcing me to sit down. I didn't have the will to fight him anymore. I shrugged out of my jacket and dropped it on the floor by my feet, then settled back into the couch, curling up as tight into the corner as I could. Raph sat down next to me, careful to give me a little bit of space, but close enough to touch if he wanted to.

"It's a long story…" I repeated, and he followed suit.

"I've got all night."

I exhaled deeply and stared at a small stain on the coffee table. It was a long time before I was able to even come up with the right words.

"It started… when I was four…"

After the fic Author's Notes: All information regarding the little reverse fic challenge of mine has been moved to the Misadventures LiveJournal. Go there to check it out (you'll have to scroll down a bit). The deadline to send me a request is June 15th.

ARRRGGGGG! ….. This was the chapter from hell. It's almost twice as long as all the other chapters, but I really couldn't find a good place to split it up. And the ending… I didn't really have that planned out. It was going to leave off at a separate point with Raph not even being in the apartment… but this just seemed more right. So now I've got to change the outline for the next chapter, which will have me changing the outline for the rest of the story…. And good god. I must be insane to have thought this story was a good idea. If the chapters keep getting longer, they will be fewer and farther between, just to give you all warning.

Notes to my Reviewers:

Reluctant Dragon: -Melodist makes a note to add in some fat prostitutes next chapter- Hehehehe…

Anyway, as for the Institute… you didn't really think there was only two lower levels, did you? Why build two, when you can build three or four? Just kidding -g- Actually, most of the kids did get out all right. All the upper levels were evacuated just fine, seeing as how they weren't really prisoners, just regular patients. There were only two bodies found on the lower levels…besides those of the guards that Lucas and his compatriots killed. (I don't consider the guards to be any great loss though). One was Harold's sister (The lizard-girl mentioned in a previous chapter), though she was dead long before the fire. The other was, unfortunately one of the Level A escapees that was killed by a gunshot while trying to help free the Level B's.

So, hope you enjoyed the Raphness in this chapter. :) There should be another one up in a week or so.

Sassyblondexoxo: -sighs- All the best sci-fi shows get cancelled. Take Firefly, for example. That show just kicked so much ass. I'm just happy that they're making a movie. You can bet I'll be there on opening night for that one. –shamelessly promotes the movie Serenity- Anyone who hasn't seen Firefly, GO WATCH IT NOW (on dvd) …You'll thank me, really you will.

Reinbeauchaser: Again, thanks for the heads up. I really appreciate it.

Austin's father… well… he's going to show up sooner or later. Though he's not a canon TMNT character, that much I'll tell. There will be something special about him that will greatly impact Austin's life though. This stuff won't be touched upon until the sequel though.

I have noticed that Austin is… well… she's more like my online personality, rather than my RL personality. Ever notice how when you get online, sometimes your whole demeanor and attitude changes? I'd say that there's a lot of Melodist in Austin. And there's a lot of me in Melodist. But there isn't as much me in Austin. If that makes sense.

Isis-Lament: Leo is concerned about his brother, but also for his family's safety as a whole. He and Raph may not get along well, but he certainly doesn't want to see Raph hurt in any way. And, methinks he's also a little concerned that Austin might not be able to handle Raph, and will end up getting hurt as well. Leo's just an all around good kind of guy. He carries the weight of the world when he really doesn't need to, bless his heart.

As to your question, the TMNT universe I'm working from is a mix. It's mostly the new cartoon, but with a few changes. Shredder is human, for example, and Hun doesn't exist. I haven't quite decided what to do with April yet. I really like her as a news reporter in the movies, but hate her in the old cartoon. I LOVE the new April though. So she's probably going to end up being the brainy scientist April. :)

Ah, and as for the name 'Melodist'. This is old, old, old. I've had this online name since… well… I think it's been at least 8 years. It started out because I was in the X-Men fandom long ago. And I created a Mary Sue called Melodist. She was classic MS. When she sang, she could pretty much do anything: flight, telekinesis, morphing, fireballs, all kinds of shit. …ThankGOD that story never made it online. It was my first fanfic ever, and the one I'm most ashamed of. If I remember correctly, she won the heart of Wolverine. Yes, my love of bad boys goes back even to my adolescent days. But personally, I do love to sing which is why the name stuck. I may not sing well, but I sing proudly, and I sing often! …mostly in the shower, in the car, and at work.

The REAL Cheese Monkey: Oh yes. Yes he is. And he just becomes more and more sexy as the chapters go by.

EntropyMage: Yes, I am very evil. And you know what? I don't regret it one bit. :) Not a single bit! Mwahahahahaha! And you'll notice that Devon wasn't even mentioned in this chapter. He's keeping his distance for the time being, but will return by the end of the story.

Mickis: Ask, and ye shall receive! Updates for all! …well, ok, one update. And now that you're done reading it (assuming you didn't skip down here first), I'm sorry I don't have another one ready for you. …Unless you're reading this in a few weeks from now and I've already posted another chapter… then I guess… uh… I'm glad I have more for you! …I think I just confused myself. Which isn't hard to do, considering how tired I am from working on this chapter. …. Ok. That's all I have to say. ….thanks for the review:)

Buslady Of SoCal: -grins- I hope that this chapter sent you drooling as well. I know it did me while I was writing it. I just can't help but think the greatest experience in the world would be a bike ride with Raph. Mmmmmm….