Thankyou so much for the wonderful feedback! This chapter begins the real body of my fan-fiction, and hopefully it will leave you hungry for more! Enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the OC, although I do own the Music soundtracks and 7 posters of Benjamin McKenzie – which is almost the same!

Marissa looked at herself in the mirror, breathing deeply. Today hadn't been the finest day. Marissa's days were always different; sometimes she felt perfectly fine and the sun could be seen glowing through her face. Other days she would feel horrible; her cheeks would flush, her energy would expire and a constant wetness would redden her eyes.

There was never really a motivation for her sadness - most of the time she couldn't even help it. Her feelings had minds of their own these days and Marissa hated not knowing if she would be crying all day or not.

To anyone, especially Ryan, Marissa – dressed in a divine black strapless dress and her soft, waving hair lightly half up – would have been the most beautiful, elegant girl in the room. But to her, she looked tired, rundown and unattractive. She fought back tears as she tried to liven herself up. So dearly she wished that her illness would just disappear. She was so very tired of fighting.

Marissa scowled at herself. She was more than determined to have a good time tonight. She and Ryan hadn't seen that much of each other lately. Must have been the busyness with college exams… but there was something about Ryan that hadn't really been right lately. He had been kind of…anxious around her. She couldn't imagine why though. But whatever it was, she was totally focussed on having a fantastic night with him!

And at this thought Marissa heart managed a soft smile.

Ryan paced around the pool house. Around and around he went, until his nervousness was soon disturbed by unrelenting dizziness. He massaged his right knuckles with his left hand, licked his lips and cracked his neck, but still his cantering heart would not slow down.

Ryan checked his bedroom clock which read 6:45. They should probably get going. It had been somewhat of an interesting day for Ryan. After the embarrassments of the morning, Ryan felt inclined to express himself to Sandy. After all Sandy, was more than just a guardian to Ryan; he was a father, and a father needed to know these things. Ryan reflected on the words Sandy had given him that afternoon:

"I'm proud 'a'ya, kid! But I tell ya what, I saw it comin' from the day you met her that night on the driveway," Sandy laughed as he smacked him affectionately on the back.

"I just can't believe it!" Kirsten added through her happy tears, "And after everything you two have survived… Come here!" and she stepped forward and drew him into a choking hug.

Ryan appreciated their love immensely, "But, I don't how I'm going to …"

"Son," Sandy said, reading him loud and clear, "Leave nothing to schedule. They day I asked Kirsten to marry me was the day I got my tonsils out. I'd come out of the anaesthetic, was slightly delusional and said it! Then and there!" Sandy and Kirsten eyed each other and giggled.

"You serious?" Ryan laughed, "You always struck me as the roses and candle-light type."

"So did I," Kirsten said. She shook her head lovingly at Sandy, "But I'm still here now, aren't I?"

"Our point is, Ryan, the words will come at the right time."

"Ryan, ready to go?" Seth poked his head through the pool house door. He was dressed particularly smartly tonight. I wonder why? Ryan thought to himself.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," he replied. He reached a hand up and patted the inside pocket of his jacket where he felt the squarish lump of a jewellery box. This was it.

Seth and Ryan pulled up in the Cooper mansion driveway. Seth in the passenger seat went to open his door.

"Coming, dude?" he asked.

Ryan was so nervous! He needed just a moment before he took the plunge. "Oh, no, man, you go ahead. I'll be up in a second."

For one of the few times in Seth's life, he turned completely un-Cohenish and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You'll be alright." Ryan smiled weakly and Seth exited the vehicle.

Now alone in the car with the mellow sound of Joseph Arthur through the speakers, Ryan sat, contemplating his thoughts. He reached into his pocket and took out the box. Tenderly, he opened it to reveal the ring, and he picked it out. Rolling it in his fingers, a swarm of thoughts overcame him. This ring symbolised so much. It was a symbol of their past, their future. A symbol of every fight they had ever had, and the ones to come. It was a symbol of every romantic moment they'd spent together. A symbol of the hardships that they had faced together: Oliver, Theresa, Trey. As bad as these times had been, they had helped shape their love.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Marissa approaching. Fear pierced through him. There was no time to replace the ring before she came. Ryan panicked. What was he going to do! At a last-second resort he tossed the bear ring carelessly into the glove box. It would be ok for just a minute. Quickly he shut the lid.

Casually, as if nothing had happened, Ryan opened the door just as Marissa reached him and stepped out of the car.

"Ryan!" Marissa smiled.

"Hey!" he answered and pecked her on the lips, "How have you been feeling today?"

"Pretty good actually," Marissa lied. Still, she managed one of her infectious grins. She nodded her head towards the car, "What was keeping you?"

"Oh! There was a really good song on the radio that I wanted to finish."

"Mmhmm." Yep, there was definitely something going on with Ryan lately, Marissa thought. The two walked up the driveway together and joined the party, leaving Marissa's ring inside the glovebox – which Ryan hadn't closed properly…

Marissa may have said she was alright, but as the night wore on it was blatantly obvious to Ryan she wasn't. At every moment alone, Marissa would hide away in a corner and wipe away a tear. She had excused herself twice to go to the bathroom. Ryan knew she had gone to cry. The more Marissa deteriorated, the less Ryan wanted to ask the Question. He just couldn't find a right time.

Marissa's depression not only affected her, but Ryan too. It was sometimes so hard to get her to open up, and he could never know when she would be crying or laughing. He knew it was probably a selfish thing to think, but sometimes Ryan just couldn't understand why Marissa couldn't just… well, stop the illness. He felt so horrible for thinking it though.

He approached her, "Hey, are you ok?"

Marissa looked at him, utterly distressed and ashamed of herself. More tears welled in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she choked, "I can't stop it!"

Ryan kissed her cheek, "It's alright. Do want to go for out for a drive? We could pop down to the beach. Get some of it out of your system?"

Marissa smiled honestly, "Yes, that would be fantastic."

As Ryan drove the car, his mind swelled with more thoughts. Would the beach be a good place? They would be alone, with the sounds of the ocean in their ears, the sand between their toes. Yes, it would be the perfect place. But then he thought, is it fair to do this to Marissa, in her state? Would such a situation make her happy or put her into shock? He didn't know. He couldn't decide. And again, he felt a surge of anger go through his heart. That same selfishness that he had just a few minutes ago.

"I don't get it sometimes," he said sadly.

"Get what?" Marissa asked, confused.

"Well… you," Ryan said bluntly, "I mean, this. Depression. I don't understand it."

Marissa sighed sorrowfully, "No, neither do I. I mean there's only so much the medication does and…"

Ryan cut in, almost harshly, which he didn't mean, but his feelings were strong, "No, I mean, I don't get how you can't just stop… you know… being like this."

Marissa stared at him in disbelief, "You don't think if I could make it go away I could?" she snapped. Her cheeks began to feel hot.

"I just don't understand it. You can't blame me for feeling like this. Everyday you're a different person."

"And everyday, I try! Everyday I'm fighting it! Everyday I feel guilty and sad and angry that I can't be happy! I can't believe this! It's like your blaming me!"

"I'm not blaming you! I just hate it how I can never know if you'll be crying or not. It kills me everyday."

"Why are you doing this! YOU don't know what it's like to be me! I have to live with myself everyday, knowing that I will probably not sleep at night!"

"And how do you think I feel! I'm always the one left picking up the pieces."

Both of them were now furious at each other. Marissa was crying hysterically, and Ryan was gripping the steering wheel tightly as he yelled. As their argument intensified, Ryan began to lose focus on the road.

Marissa was distraught. They hadn't been in a fight like this for a year. Tears blurred her eyes. She turned to lean against the window.

Then she saw, and her body went numb.

"RYAN!"

She screamed.

Ryan turned his head. His heart stopped when he saw the truck. The headlights were blinding. Its horn blared ferociously. Ryan slammed down on the breaks. The tyres screamed.

But it was too late.

The truck smashed into the side of their car. Pain struck every angle of her bodies. The car rolled of the road, glass smashing and splintering into their skins. Marissa screamed. Make it stop, make it stop! But still, the car rolled. It was endlessness. The road was below them as the top of the car scraped along the grounds. Then finally it came to grinding, scratching halt.

Silence.