Discovering Memories

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: It's almost been two years since the rescue, and everything seems so different to Seth Cohen. Everything is great, except for Aerin and the fact that he can't remember what happened before. How far is he willing to go to get both of them back?

A/n: This is short, and I may actually update it now that I've gotten past the harder parts of writing.

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"Regret"

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The next morning, I found myself on the early flight back to L.A. with mom and dad and Donnie. Charlie and Claire had decided on staying a little longer.

The good thing was that I wasn't as uncomfortable on the plane as I was before. No. I was slowly getting back into the mindset that the plane crashing was a one in a million chance, and that planes normally don't just fall out of the sky.

After I had convinced myself of that, I was pretty good. Donnie sat on my laugh after we got to a good cruising altitude. He seemed to like flying, even though he did seem to have a pretty good disliking of Australia.

Not that I cared. It wasn't like I was going to go back there again. The only reason for me to go back there was because I finally figured out where Aerin was. But I had seriously screwed up with that whole situation. I could have handled it better. I could have been nicer. Maybe Aerin would actually still be talking to me.

But we both knew that neither of us could really be together. So we just cut each other out of our lives. It kinda sucked in a way. To know that we were once so in love with each other, now the Pacific Ocean separated us physically and neither of us wanted anything to do with each other anymore.

I sighed quietly. Donnie was sleeping, I didn't wanna wake him. Donnie. That was another confusing point. I had taken him out there because his grandfather had died, even though he didn't know the man. I had never expected him to reject Aerin like he did.

Mom let Aerin hold him quite a few times, but every time it was the same. He was fine for a while, then all of a sudden he would start crying very loudly and screaming for me. I couldn't really understand why. Aerin was his mother. Aerin was the one that was always there for him when I was on the island.

But she had left him too. It was all very confusing, and making my head spin, so I stopped thinking about it. I tried to stop thinking about Aerin, but she seemed to be the one thing stuck in my mind, and I couldn't get it out.

At least I wasn't seeing the plane crash over and over again in my head. That would have sucked.

Yeah, that would have sucked a lot.

My eyes looked down at Donnie. He was me. There was no question about it. The only thing Donnie got from Aerin was her beautiful blue eyes. Everything else was me. Down to a tee. It was scary in some ways. I didn't want to have to think about it, but it was always there, screaming at me.

Yelling at me for being a moron.

Yes, that was what I was. A moron.

I was beginning to regret even going to Australia.

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Seven hours into the flight, I was beginning to get a bad feeling deep down inside of me that I couldn't explain. By now mom and dad had fallen asleep as well, and I was the only one awake. I didn't want to sleep.

Last two times I slept on a plane it crashed, or I had a horrible memory relapse of the crash. I didn't want that to happen. Not at all.

That was when I noticed it. A small piece of paper in the pocket on the overalls that Eliza had given Donnie. I blinked a few times, trying to figure out a way to get it out without waking the sleeping boy up. The way he was, anything I would do would wake him up.

But curiosity got the better of me and I quick reached down with two fingers and pulled it out. Donnie moved slightly, but stayed asleep.

Good.

I slowly unfolded the paper and looked at in. Aerin's beautiful cursive flowed out across the paper, only faltering in some areas.

I forced myself to read it.

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Seth.

I know that you probably hate me. I can feel the anger just when I look at you. But I really don't think you realize how hard it was on everyone you left behind to get over the fact that you were gone. I was only one of the people affected by it, but I was hit the hardest.

I was stuck in a place I knew nothing about, surrounded by everything and everyone that ever meant anything to you, except for you. You were gone Seth, and that was hard to come to grips with. Then Donnie came and everything began falling apart.

No one else saw what was going on but me. They had lost hope. They had buried you. But I didn't believe them. I knew you were alive, but the chances of that were slim to none and it was driving me nuts.

I had to go someplace where I could convince myself that you were gone, but I never truly believed that. Then news came of the survivors found, and Claire was there. You should have seen how happy I was. But then everyone left and I was stuck there alone. You weren't there. No one else came out.

Your parents thought the same thing. You hadn't survived.

So I erased you. I should have talked to Claire. She would have told me that you were alive. But the first time I heard it was when I came home and mum told me. I was happier than you could believe. I hated myself for leaving Donnie there and trying to give up hope like that, but I knew I couldn't see you because you were going to be so angry at me.

But I know that you're not all that angry or you wouldn't have kissed me like that last night. But I need to get out of the car. Mercedes is here. Hopefully Kirsten put this in Donnie's overalls like I asked.

If you're reading this, then she obviously she did. She's amazing Seth, you're so lucky you have her as a mother. I swear!

But anyways. We probably won't see each other again, and that sucks. Who knows, maybe we will bump into each other sometime again. Whatever fate has in store for us I guess.

But it was nice seeing you again.

Love,

Aerin…

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Just reading it brought tears to my eyes, and I didn't know why. Just thinking about Aerin and how I had overreacted last night. It made me feel like a piece of shit.

No, I was a piece of shit.

I was worse than a piece of shit.

Slowly, I folded the letter up and put in my pocket.

This was going to be a long flight.

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A/n: Aerin WILL be back!

DeuCe628 - Haha. Originally the last two chapters were supposed to be one and I wrote them at the same time. It was quite odd.

Swede85 - No, Seth is not gonna hook up with Summer, she's married to Ryan. That would be mean!

The Pirate Illusionist - It was sad, wasn't it?

IY-ROX - Have fun… this'll probably be updated like… once… xD

Harper's Pixie - I'm sorry! Yes, more dramaish… I hate the end of this story… haha, I haven't even written it yet.

emogeek1 - Yes, well I didn't come up with her, so… and I hate Marissa too… wait, she's not in the story too much, nevermind. Seth and Anna? Heck no… Seth and Shannon. Shannon is soooo reserved for Sawyer! And Ryan and Summer will come back… HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Volvic - Aerin isn't gone…