Two chapters left! If you are a Ryan and Marissa fan, you will love this chapter! (Hopefuly!)

Disclaimer: Still don't own it. And nothing in this fan-fic is aimed to offend anyone.

Ryan spent the next four days recuperating in hospital, regaining the breath in his lungs and feeling strength re-enter his muscles. But despite his physical healing, his emotional torment had but deepened. The comprehension that it had vanished was so great. He couldn't accept that it was really gone. His conscience was bathed in guilt, and he couldn't help but reflect on all the times when he had let Marissa down. There were too many times; when he left her for Theresa, gone off with Lindsay, accused her of cheating on him with Trey, turned her away after he had died… and now this.

All the tears Marissa had spilled over the past four years was because of him. He'd hoped that proposing to her would have finally wiped them away. Now he wouldn't have that honour. Besides, he concluded, he didn't even deserve it. The sinking feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach indescribable. The pain was worse than the scraping sensation he had once felt in his chest.

His troubles were not at all helped with Marissa's visits. Now out of hospital and the bruises mending around her face, she had at first devoted all her time to being with him and keeping him company. But their conversations (or lack of, rather) had wedged an infinite awkwardness between them. Neither was willing to be the first to break their silences, and they never got much further than casual "how are you's". Both of them could see in the other's eyes that something was being bottled up, but this just made their meetings worse. Marissa hadn't even visited that day yet. But, Ryan pondered sadly, it's probably for the best.

He groaned. He was so sick of hospitals, and beds, and injections and plastic food. Everyday droned by twice as slowly as the last and he was beginning to wonder when he was ever going to see the Cohen's handsome cream walls again. The thought of staying in any longer was more nauseating than the faint throbbing in his ribcage. He sighed. It'd be really nice if he had a visit from…

The handle lowered and clicked open, as someone made their way inside. Ryan's heart leaped. He didn't know if he could handle another uncomfortable Marissa Session right now. The adrenaline rushed to his head, but it quickly dispatched when Seth exposed himself. Ryan was suddenly immediately surprised with himself when he actually felt remorse that it wasn't her.

Seth chirruped. Ryan noticed he had a particularly Cohen-ish look on his face, "Hey Ry. How art thou this day?"

"Hey," Ryan replied in monotone.

Seth looked at his miserable friend, "Woah, Dude, you look as if you could need some fresh air."

Ryan laughed sarcastically, "Thanks man! Appreciated!"

Seth leaned in, "Well, as it happens, it appears you'll be getting that fresh air sooner rather than later."

Ryan's spirits instantly lifted.

"The doctor and my dad were just talking, and they agree that you're ready to come out this afternoon."

Seth watched as utter relief flooded Ryan's face. But Seth had something else in store.

"Yeah, yeah it's great," Seth smiled wryly, "But,"

Ryan eyed Seth suspiciously. "But, what?"

"But, you're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on."

"What do you mean 'what's going on?' There's very little going on."

"My point exactly, Ryan," Seth sprang.

Ryan silently groaned. He had an inkling of what was coming.

Seth took a seat on the chair like a physiatrist. He drummed his fingers together superiorly and then leant his chin on his thumbs with a studious look on his face. "Now Ryan," he began, "as you know, I consider our relationship more than friendship, and more like brothership – is that even a word? Oh well! And as the second half of that brotherly bond, Ryan, I have become an expert in working out when all is not so well."

The two exchanged looks before Seth continued, "Now I know that it has something to do with Marissa and, ooh, let me think, a certain marriage proposal to Marissa that Marissa has no idea about?" Seth said quickly, stringing the words together. Then he gave Ryan a beckoning look, waiting for his inevitable response.

This time Ryan's groan was let out. He had tried not to tell Seth about the ring, especially Seth, because… well he's not exactly one for keeping secrets or giving advise. Still, Ryan contemplated; it would hopefully relieve some of the tension that he felt in his veins. He exhaled loudly. "Okay," he began.

"I'm all ears," Seth added.

"I lost the ring," he said it so bluntly, Seth took a stagger back.

"You, uh, you what now?"

"I lost the ring."

"Yeah, I heard you the first time, uh, how the hell did you manage that?"

Ryan sighed sorrowfully, "I was such an ass. I lost it in the car." He then went on to explain the situation.

"Dude, that's painful. How much did it cost?"

Ryan looked at Seth and frowned. He had obviously missed the point, "It doesn't matter how much it cost. That thing was…" Ryan paused and got lost in a sorry realisation, "… it was … a symbol." He said it quietly, almost breathlessly.

They sat in silence for a while, both thinking deeply. Then Seth raised a cheeky eyebrow, "Yeah… so how much did it cost?"

"Seth! You're not helping!"

"What! Can't a guy ask?" Seth said almost too innocently.

Ryan glared at him, but then lowered his head, "$4000," he coughed.

"You could have bought a couple of wife-beaters with that," Seth whistled.

Ryan couldn't help but smile briefly. There was something about Seth's manner that humoured him even in the worst of times, "Yeah. But like I said, it's not about the money. That thing was supposed to represent everything that we had survived. Losing it is like… losing everything we've built." Ryan bit his lip.

Seth eyed Ryan. It was unlike him to be the bearer of wise words, but in this particular instance, Seth knew exactly what to say. He leant in and almost whispered, a serious expression across his face, "Ryan, you don't need a piece of jewellery to prove your past."

X

That afternoon, Ryan lay comfortably in his own double bed, surrounded by his own four walls, overlooking the Pacific Ocean with the sweet scent of the sand in the air. Despite his emotions, it was a wonderful feeling to finally be home. Dull pain still lingered in his body, but just feeling the soft, familiar mattress under him was slowly taking that away.

Unusually, Seth's words had stuck with him that whole day. He had not been able to get them out of his head. No, he didn't necessarily need the ring, but it didn't ease his guilt. He then began thinking; if it was that easy to lose something of such significance… that was how easy it was to lose Marissa as well. And he almost had. I mean, if it wasn't for him, they wouldn't even be in this mess. He would have already proposed to her by now and she would be off planning her perfect wedding, annoying him with song suggestions, and flower arrangements and… He cursed at himself and rubbed his temples. The thoughts were so insistent! As much as he urged himself not to think so rashly, he just couldn't help it. He was such an idiot!

At that, there came a click at the door, finally distracting Ryan from his reverie. He tilted his head and was caught momentarily offside when Marissa's slender figure stepped gingerly into the room.

Marissa stood there nervously. She had been such an idiot all week. She couldn't even talk to him. She hated to think what he thought of her. When you can't even have a normal conversation with your boyfriend, you have serious issues. She remained their tentatively wrapping the straps of her bag around her hand in a way to escape her nerves. But still, something inside her was telling her there was something else… like… that Ryan was keeping something from her. That suspicion had drawn her here today, standing in front of him in the pool house that she knew like her own room.

They studied each other with passionate gazes written over their faces. They continued the stare as their secret torments swelled in their heads

"Ryan… we've gotta talk about this."

"I know," he nodded in understanding.

Ryan looked at her, taking in her endless beauty. He was nearly breathless, and momentarily forgot his woes simply by taking in her elegant frame. Marissa began to make her way over to him. He extended his hand and took Marissa's. He raised it to his lips and softly brushed them against her flawless skin. The love she felt now was almost enough to drown her guilt as she absorbed the feelings that stirred in her blood. She stood there in front of him and her heart thumped as she felt Ryan's eyes study her equally.

"Do you want to go for a walk? Get outta the house?" he asked quietly, "and we can really talk… for real this time."

Marissa drummed her fingers along the material of her bag, considering, "Yes," she answered. "That would be wonderful."

X

They strolled smoothly along the wooden walkway watching the graceful sun begin its decent into the ocean. A light cool breeze danced in the air, creating a chill on Marissa's arms. She rubbed them close. Ryan saw her movements and innately stripped off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. It was a gesture that they'd both grown accustomed to. Marissa's unusual reaction to the warm Californian weather never inspired her to bring a sweater of her own. But Ryan had a distinct feeling she deliberately did that. They exchanged soft chuckles as she looked away shyly and a light blush grew on her cheeks.

"I love it when you do that," Marissa said, drawing his jacket into her body and taking in his familiar fragrance.

"Yeah," he smiled, "I do it a lot too!"

"Oh? Like at cotillion? When I was upset?"

"And then after the charity yard sale."

"Yeah," Marissa said distantly as she reflected on those moments in her life.

"My personal favourite was when you threw me in the pool," Ryan cocked his head to one side and gave her a loving smile, "and apparently you were freezing."

Her eyes widened and she playfully bumped her hip against his. "Hey! I was!"

"Right! So you had no idea that I would wrap one of my towels around you?"

She pursed her lips into a cheeky smile, "Well… that was a bonus."

They looked at each other sweetly, as they absorbed the fond memories.

"That was our first date wasn't it?" Ryan remembered.

"Yes… but not our first official date!" she winked.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget?"

She sniggered, "That was…"

"…the best date ever," Ryan finished her sentence, and again they shared a deep moment.

"A lot happened after that didn't it?" Ryan continued, now with a glaze of sadness.

"Yeah… it did. Oliver…"

"Theresa…"

"Alex…"

Marissa paused nervously, her smiles diminished, "…Trey."

Ryan met her expression and received a painful stab through his chest, "… and then there was Trey."

Neither said a word, let alone made eye contact for an extended period.

"That was a horrible few months, wasn't it?" Ryan spoke quietly. Marissa could but nod.

"It was."

Once again, the barrier was thickening between them. They both inwardly groaned. They'd been going so well. Now they were back to square one. But Ryan was determined not to dwell on the subject and said with a slight quiver in his voice, "But we're still here aren't we? After all that."

Marissa looked at him with tears in her eyes. She was just so lucky to have him. The months following Trey's death had almost destroyed their relationship, but it seemed to have only strengthened since. Knowing this brought her back to the car accident. She had so nearly lost him forever, and it was because of her that he had nearly died.

Finally, after all this time, the confessions were ready to be revealed. She fought back the tears and choked, "I'm so sorry about the accident."

Ryan was caught completely dumbstruck. He stared at Marissa trying to make sense of what she had just said, "What are you talking about?"

She was now properly crying, "I mean, I made you so mad and I made you take your eyes off the road…" her voice struggled against the emotion to speak the words.

"No! All this happened because of me! Not you!" there was a lump building in his throat, "I was… I was so selfish about your illness. I shouldn't have said those horrible things." He pulled her into his chest. His lingering injury ached slightly at her weight, but it didn't matter. She cried into his shoulder and clung her arms around him. He stroked her feathery hair and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.

"I just kept thinking that… if I lost you…" she fought through her tears. His gentle touch was healing to her sadness.

"Me too," he whispered.

The sun was leaking behind the horizon, bleeding scarlet rays across the land. Ryan and Marissa stood motionless in each other's hold, slowly allowing the guilt and pain wash away.

"I love you," Ryan said, so only she could hear. Marissa lifted her head from his neck and looked into his beautiful eyes. He pulled her in closely and they were inches from a kiss when Marissa's cell phone began to buzz, indicating she had a text message.

She drew away embarrassed, "Sorry," and started to rummage through her bag.

"Oh, where is the damn thing?" she mumbled. She searched deeper into her bag looking for the silver instrument.

"Is that the bag you had the other night?" Ryan asked, trying to keep the conversation flowing.

"Uh, yeah, it is. I love it," Marissa answered, still searching, "I found it and… oh my God!"

Ryan jumped, "What? What is it?"

Marissa stared into her bag, with an expression on her face Ryan had never seen her pull before. A mix of shock, curiosity, bafflement and speechlessness was rolled into one as she continued to gawk.

"What the hell is this?" she dug her hand in to pick something up. When her hand re-emerged she held between her thumb and her index finger a stunning sapphire ring, surrounded by small diamonds with a gold band.

Ryan's circulation cut off as he witnessed the miracle that had unfolded. He gazed flabbergasted at Marissa's engagement ring, the ring he thought he'd lost forever. But it wasn't lost. It had been with her this whole time. Somehow, he didn't know what kind of odds were against it, but somehow the ring had landed in Marissa's bag when it fell out of the glove box. Marissa looked at Ryan's frozen expression with extended puzzlement in her eyes.

"What?"

Ryan knew neither what to say, nor how to say it.

"I wonder whose it is?" she said, twirling the ring in her fingers. She was captivated by its glowing beauty.

Ryan swallowed, his emotions were inexpressible. It was time. "It's your's."

"Huh?"

"It's your's," he repeated.

Marissa's expression grew ever more confused, "But… I… I don't understand. I don't remember buying this!"

Ryan breathed away impending nerves, "That's because I did."

Marissa's heart began to race, "Ryan?"

At that Ryan took the ring from Marissa took it in his left hand. Then, much to Marissa's shock and astonishment he took her hand in his right and knelt down on one knee.

"Oh my God!" she thought she was going to faint.

Ryan's mind was racing. This was by far the most surreal thing he'd ever done in his life. He didn't know exactly what he was going to say, but nothing was going to stop him now. He looked up at her. "Marissa, from the moment I met you on the Cohen's driveway, I felt something for you. We've been through and survived so much together.

Tears were falling from Marissa's eyes, and she trembled lightly, as she tried to consider what was about to happen.

Ryan continued, "I've never felt this way about anyone else. I love you so much, and I promise I will always love you no matter what." He gulped, suppressing a waver in his voice, "Marissa, will you please marry me?" At that, he slipped the ring onto her delicate finger. It fitted perfectly.

Ryan stood up and looked into Marissa's gorgeous blue eyes. Now, he had no nerves, no fears, no pain. It had felt so right, and so wonderful.

Marissa was speechless. Never in her wildest dreams could she have known that he was going to do that. She turned her head to the sun, almost completely fallen, with just a few violet rays remaining. She then raised her head to the sky where she caught sight of the first glittering star of the night. At last she turned her eyes back to Ryan. She felt as if they were floating through the clouds.

"Yes," she stifled, letting more tears run down her cheeks. "Yes, Ryan, I will marry you." She gave him one of her infectious smiles and laughed.

And at that, Ryan drew Marissa into him once again and caught her lips on his and they shared the most perfect, romantic kiss ever.