Chapter Twelve: The Big Blow-Out

So November passed and things gradually went back to normal. Lily and James were on speaking terms again, and the Marauders welcomed their unofficial leader back into the group. The only thing that did not change was James going out with Cheri.

No one understood why he put up with her. They were completely wrong for each other—she was entirely too clingy and laughed just a bit too much at everything he said and did—and he liked spending time with his friends—all of them, must to Cheri's distaste. (All of them meaning Lily, of course.)

The Marauders knew exactly why Cheri hated Lily—any girl who ever went out with James hated Lily. Lily was the one who had held James' attention for the past two and a half years… while they could barely hold onto it for two and a half weeks…

When James noticed Lily in fifth year, he had stopped dating completely. He focused on getting this one girl. Oh, there were a few girls here and there when James thought he had convinced himself he didn't like her anymore—but then he saw her laugh, or he saw her smile or something small like that and another relationship went down the drain.

Cheri Tingstead was one of those girls, a poor victim at the end of fifth year, shortly after the Squid Incident. She led James and everyone else to believe that it was a mutual decision, but Cheri was actually clever in thinking that she knew it was only a matter of time before the relationship expired… and no one broke it off with Cheri Tingstead.

So it was early December when Remus, particularly frustrated, cornered Sirius and Peter.

"We need to do something," Remus said.

"About…?"

"The Fruit," Remus answered, disgusted.

The Fruit was Cheri, of course. Since her name could be pronounced like the fruit cherry, they thought it appropriate. That and they doubted James would ever catch on if they ever heard them talking—ahem, trashing—her.

"Ah, what about her?" Sirius said with obvious distaste. Although in the beginning of Prong's infatuation with the redhead (back in fifth year), he disliked Lily for treating his best friend so harshly, Sirius finally realized that they did go quite well together, and she really was the only one good enough for ol' Prongs.

"We need to break them up," Remus replied. "And get Lily and James together."

"Kill two birds with one stone, eh?" Peter asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Preferably," Remus answered, "but I think I'll settle for breaking The Fruit and Prongs up."

"Hmmm," Sirius said, scratching his chin. "I'd like this done preferably before Holidays, but I'll take what I can get." He clapped his hands together. "Let's get planning gentlemen."

Little did they know, Lily was making other plans.

It started in the library, where most relationships start.

She was tutoring Will in Charms—who was actually quite good when it came to want movements and such, but was horrible at pronunciation.

Lily smiled inwardly. Just like James.

But then she frowned. You see, the night of crying in her bedroom led her to believe this: she liked James Potter. As in, more than a friend. As in… romantically.

It shocked her to no end, but there it was. She liked him. She really, really liked him. She liked his hair, his eyes, his smile, the way he had never ending loyalty to his friends, the way he had grace on a broom, the way he stood up for her… bloody hell, even that thing he did with his hair was endearing to her now.

… And he was going out with someone else. And, although he put up with her, he probably hated her now that she had basically called his girlfriend a bitch. Oh sure he said sorry, but that was probably because he didn't like everyone being upset with him anymore. Fuck did fate hate her.

So now she took it day by day. Unlike James, she opted not to say her feelings aloud. She convinced herself it was nothing but a silly crush and that she'd get over it in time. (When in reality we all know it was bigger than a "silly crush".)

"Lily?"

Will had been trying to get her attention for the past five minutes evidently.

Lily blushed. "I'm terribly sorry Will… must be having an off day. What… what were you saying?"

Will flushed a little too. "I was um… I was wondering perhaps… if you would… go out with me?"

Lily blinked. She hadn't expected that.

She opened her mouth to say 'no' but then closed it. Why the hell wouldn't she go out with Will Davies? He was nice, sweet boy. So what if she liked James? He obviously didn't like her anymore, and what better way to get over him than by going out with Will?

It may not be exactly fair to Will, Lily thought, but if she felt things were going too far and she still didn't feel anything towards him other than friendship, she'd break it off…

And besides, Lily reasoned, what's one date?

She smiled. "I'd love to."

Besides another study date being made, Lily and Will made another: they were to have their first official date at the next Hogsmeade trip. Lily told him she'd have to leave him two hours before they'd have to leave Hogsmeade for her Christmas shopping but Will replied easily that that was okay since he wasn't quite finished with his either.

"I have one unexpected present I still have to buy," he said charmingly, winking at her. She smiled.

Back in her dorm room, Lily lied on her bed. Will would be the first boyfriend she'd had since… Mark. Oh, Merlin, how could she forget about Mark?

Lily never dated partially because she thought it would be betrayal to Mark in some way, but when she had talked to her sister Violet over the summer, she assured Lily that Mark would want her to be happy, and not think like that.

"Besides," Violet had said in that soft voice of hers, "once I'm gone… you must promise me to remember the good times we've had, not just the bad… And you must move on. You may grieve, of course, but don't let that keep you down for the rest of your life."

Lily, with tears springing up to her eyes, replied in a hoarse voice, "I promise… but you won't leave me yet… we'll get through this…"

Violet smiled at her sadly. "I'm not giving up Lily… but… I think that the only way to kill this… this thing… is to kill me along with it."

"No…" Lily whispered, heartbroken for the second time in two years. "No…"

Violet's funeral was less than a month later.

Oh, how she wished Violet was there now! Lily and Violet always had a good relationship, one that Petunia, Lily suspected, often envied.

She felt tears burning the backs of her eyes. But she refused to shed them. No… she had cried too much already.

I just… need a good book, that's all! Lily thought. Yes… a book always calms me down. Books were her sanctuary, taking her to places that helped her escape from the realities of the world.

She got a fantasy book she hadn't gotten a chance to read lately, and headed down to the common room. She saw James sitting there.

"Hey," she said, sitting down.

"Hey," he replied tonelessly, just staring into the flames.

"Everything all right there?" She asked, frowning.

James nodded. "Just a bit… stressed. Grades and such."

"Ah," Lily nodded awkwardly, wondering what the real reason for his stony silence was.

Not knowing what to say next, Lily merely sat down in a squishy chair and read.

But after a good half-hour, Lily looked up James, and then a nearby grandfather clock, and frowned. "Shouldn't you be on a date with Cheri?" The obnoxious girl had talked nonstop about it all week, and quite loudly whenever Lily was in the area.

James shrugged. "Cancelled it."

"Oh," Lily said. Then, "So how is Cheri anyway?"

"Fine I suppose." Another shrug.

"You suppose? Don't you know?" Lily asked, a little amusedly.

"We haven't talked in a while," he said.

Lily frowned. "But… you two are going out."

"So?"

"So… I dunno. I just thought you two would be…"

"What? As close as you and Davies?"

Her frown grew bigger at his tone. "What's gotten your knickers in a twist?"

"Nothing," James said a bit forcefully.

Lily bit her lip before making a decision. "I don't think it's 'nothing'," she said hesitantly. "Look, if you ever want to talk…"

"I don't." He said harshly.

"What's your problem?" Lily demanded, not being able to take it any longer. "What, is it Cheri? Honestly James, what in bloody hell do you see in that wench! She's bitchy and backstabbing and completely shallow! She likes you only for the popularity perks it brings; why can't you see that? I'm sorry, but it seems to me that she's the one making you miserable lately… and I hate to see you upset! Stop causing yourself this pain by staying with her!"

James snapped. "My problem?" He bellowed. "My problem! My problem here is you, Lily. And no, it is not Cheri. I'm sorry she's not as wonderful as Perfect Will Davies! But she certainly is not bitchy or backstabbing or shallow! You don't even know her! And you're only making me more upset; you know what? I think it'd be best if we called this truce off. It's more trouble than it's worth!"

So she wasn't worth it, was she?

Lily took a deep breath, willing the tears not to fall. "I think… you're right." She went to her room feeling very empty.

James watched her go, wondering what in hell had he just done?

Way to go, Potter. You just drove away the girl of your dreams... who will never be yours.

Back in her dorm room, Lily laid down on her bed. She didn't cry, she didn't scream or yell; she did nothing. She merely stared up at her ceiling, listening to the familiar sounds of her heart breaking. Again. Third time's the charm. Three cracks you're broken. Lily was broken, and she didn't know if she could ever return be repaired.

Author's Note: Poor Lily… Poor James. I would just like to say, before you review (if you could please), that I hoped that I portrayed that the fight was ultimately both of their faults. It can be argued that it was mostly James's, but I thought the last one was all him. So I have to say that Lily shares some of the blame as well.

In most LJ stories I hate how Lily's always portrayed as a bitch, always to blame for nearly all of the fights due to her refusal to let go of the past. I like to think that she isn't as immature (not James immature, but you know what I mean,) as other authors say she is. This story I wanted some fights to be because of James, but, so as I would not seem sexist, I wanted a huge blow-out that would be both of their faults.

Maybe I'm overanalyzing too much, but there you go.

Reviewer Responses:

Jo: I'm glad you commented on my grammar. Stories that have horrible grammar and spelling, but great plot, makes me want to cringe sometimes. It has so much potential, just needs a beta or something. And I think, that while James is "sexy" (which he so is) I made him so that when he was 15 he didn't have as much self-confidence as Sirius did. And, if you want to get into canon, you can say that his ego grew—tremendously, throughout fifth year…. If you want to get technical that is. Anyway, I love your reviews (people who review with proper grammar and such always get brownie points in my book!) and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! Thanks!

And thank you to: The ORIGINAL Meathead, soccerchic1989, bigsmileygirl-3, Black Rose, scullymulder, Siriusly Sirius Lily Black, Kaylie, and meganegreer21! Love you all!