The Legend of Zelda: the Magic Block of Cheese

Link wanders around Hyrule and finds a mysteriously yellow object on the ground

Link: What the hell is that?

Zelda: DO NOT QUESTION THE AUTHORITY OF THE MAGIC BLOCK OF CHEESE!

Link: CHEESE? I thought it was a glowy thingymajigger…

Zelda: ugh…anyways….the magic block of cheese requires a special task from you.

Link: what does this edible object want from me?

Zelda: The MAGIC CHEESE BLOCK wishes that you go and slay all of the mice in the land…

Link: MICE?1? THE GREAT KING OF EVIL RETURNS TO HYRULE AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS KILLING MICE?

Zelda: Who cares? The great king of evil is a wimp anyways…

Gannondorf is attacked by chickens and dies

Zelda: see what I mean? You must slay all the mice!

Cheese: yes….for I will not survive if there are mice…

Link: Zelda, your taste in…objects to rescue is quite….questionable….

Zelda: OH YEAH? WANT ME TO MAKE MY TASTE IN MEN GO QUESTIONABLE?

Link: no thanks..

Zelda runs off looking for Talon (from ocarina of time)

Link: Now…Zelda is just attempting suicide with that!

Cheese: Link….I want you so badly…

Link: hmmm…Zelda goes off for Talon and a block of cheese wants me…hmm….

Cheese: WE WILL HAVE GREAT TIMES TOGETHER!

Link: let me think about it..umm…..i have to go think…OVER THERE!

Link runs to some other place

Zelda: OHHH TALON….OHHHH TALON….

Link: WHATS GOING ON?

Zelda: I am censoreding Talon…he's more of a man than you will EVER be!

Link: …….

Narrator: will link put up with these kinds of insults or go home crying to his mommy? Find out next time on THE MAGIC BLOCK OF CHEESE!

end of chapter one