Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Song
To the melody of "The Philosopher's Song", by Monty Python
Albus
Dumbledore was a frightfull bore who was very rarely stable,
Severus
Snape was a drunken ape who could drink you under the table
Madame
Hooch prefers them huge
buys drinks from every quid
And
McGonagall was a drunken brall who was just as schlossed as Hagrid...
There nothing Flitzwick couldn't teach you about the levitating
of the wrist...
Voldemort himself was permanently pissed...