Mirrored Delusions 2/?
Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Cute Boy God/Joan (mostly undertones until the end)
Summary: After being diagnosed with Lyme Disease, Joan looses her faith as well as her perceived role in the world. Thinking she hallucinated her missions from God, she turns away from those she loves. Can God himself convince her to start living again? Or will she continue to ignore him as a mere figment of her imagination?
A.N.: Catching Insanity is finished. I may write a sequel at some point in the future, so keep checking back. Hope you enjoy my new Joan/CBG adventure.
Refusing to Listen
Joan woke up the next morning with a sore neck and a fork poking her in the arm. Overall the day promised to be terrible if the first two minutes were anything to go by. She dumped the remained of her omelet into the trash and began washing the dishes that were in the sink as well as her own plate. Looking at the clock she realized it was still fairly early in the morning and the others probably wouldn't be up for an hour or two. So after drying her hands and putting the dishes away she grabbed her sneakers, pulled on a light jacket and left the house.
The breeze blew right through her since the sun wasn't up yet, and she tightened her arms around herself as she set off up the street. The sky was still dark although the sun was making a valiant effort to rise, and no one was on the streets yet. Joan welcomed the quiet. It fit her mood and allowed her to think without the stares of her family to worry about.
Joan didn't want to cut out anyone from her life, but she didn't know what was real anymore. Even the most important thing that happened last year was merely a figment of her imagination. She began to realize that her thinking the God would talk to her was not only foolish but conceited as well. Why would he speak to her of all people, when there were priests, scientists, artists. Hell, she was nothing special.
The only thing that continued to confuse her were her missions from 'God.' Were they her subconscious or something? If that was the case how come they seemed to help people after they were completed? Without them she never would have met Adam, Grace, or Kasper. She wouldn't have been in AP Chemistry, which admittedly challenged her, but she had passed with a solid B-plus average, something she never would have thought herself capable of.
So how could Joan coincide the outcomes with the source? The answer was she couldn't, not alone as she was. That was the thing she hated most about this. Ever since God abandoned her, or rather since she was diagnosed and treated, she felt so alone she wanted to scream aloud at the top of her lungs. Hell she was willing to try it anyway, but didn't want to see her parents pitying and worried looks anymore either. Joan walked around in thought until it got light out and cars began to fill the streets somewhat.
"Joan." A man called from behind her. When she turned around she saw no one, so she kept walking.
The third time this happened she ran into the closest building looking for sanctuary. It just so happened to be the Arcadia Public Library. Joan stood just inside the door for a few long moments, until she suddenly got an idea, and made her was to the card catalogue on the computer in the lobby. She felt a bit out of place to be here on her own time, but ignored the anticipation that strummed through her. It took a few minutes and false starts for her to find the information she was looking for and soon she was looking through the stacks single-mindedly. By the time she was ready to leave she had a total of ten books in her arms, all about God, a few about Saints, and one about faith. The librarian gave her an odd look but checked the books anyway. As she held the books precariously while trying to open the library door the librarian called out after her quietly.
"Hope you find what you're looking for, Joan."
As Joan turned back to glare ar the lady she found that she wasn't even looking at her anymore. Joan's glare turned to confusion, but she resolutely turned away and left the library without a backward glance.
Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Cute Boy God/Joan (mostly undertones until the end)
Summary: After being diagnosed with Lyme Disease, Joan looses her faith as well as her perceived role in the world. Thinking she hallucinated her missions from God, she turns away from those she loves. Can God himself convince her to start living again? Or will she continue to ignore him as a mere figment of her imagination?
A.N.: Catching Insanity is finished. I may write a sequel at some point in the future, so keep checking back. Hope you enjoy my new Joan/CBG adventure.
Refusing to Listen
Joan woke up the next morning with a sore neck and a fork poking her in the arm. Overall the day promised to be terrible if the first two minutes were anything to go by. She dumped the remained of her omelet into the trash and began washing the dishes that were in the sink as well as her own plate. Looking at the clock she realized it was still fairly early in the morning and the others probably wouldn't be up for an hour or two. So after drying her hands and putting the dishes away she grabbed her sneakers, pulled on a light jacket and left the house.
The breeze blew right through her since the sun wasn't up yet, and she tightened her arms around herself as she set off up the street. The sky was still dark although the sun was making a valiant effort to rise, and no one was on the streets yet. Joan welcomed the quiet. It fit her mood and allowed her to think without the stares of her family to worry about.
Joan didn't want to cut out anyone from her life, but she didn't know what was real anymore. Even the most important thing that happened last year was merely a figment of her imagination. She began to realize that her thinking the God would talk to her was not only foolish but conceited as well. Why would he speak to her of all people, when there were priests, scientists, artists. Hell, she was nothing special.
The only thing that continued to confuse her were her missions from 'God.' Were they her subconscious or something? If that was the case how come they seemed to help people after they were completed? Without them she never would have met Adam, Grace, or Kasper. She wouldn't have been in AP Chemistry, which admittedly challenged her, but she had passed with a solid B-plus average, something she never would have thought herself capable of.
So how could Joan coincide the outcomes with the source? The answer was she couldn't, not alone as she was. That was the thing she hated most about this. Ever since God abandoned her, or rather since she was diagnosed and treated, she felt so alone she wanted to scream aloud at the top of her lungs. Hell she was willing to try it anyway, but didn't want to see her parents pitying and worried looks anymore either. Joan walked around in thought until it got light out and cars began to fill the streets somewhat.
"Joan." A man called from behind her. When she turned around she saw no one, so she kept walking.
The third time this happened she ran into the closest building looking for sanctuary. It just so happened to be the Arcadia Public Library. Joan stood just inside the door for a few long moments, until she suddenly got an idea, and made her was to the card catalogue on the computer in the lobby. She felt a bit out of place to be here on her own time, but ignored the anticipation that strummed through her. It took a few minutes and false starts for her to find the information she was looking for and soon she was looking through the stacks single-mindedly. By the time she was ready to leave she had a total of ten books in her arms, all about God, a few about Saints, and one about faith. The librarian gave her an odd look but checked the books anyway. As she held the books precariously while trying to open the library door the librarian called out after her quietly.
"Hope you find what you're looking for, Joan."
As Joan turned back to glare ar the lady she found that she wasn't even looking at her anymore. Joan's glare turned to confusion, but she resolutely turned away and left the library without a backward glance.