Mirrored Delusions 4/?
Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Cute Boy God/Joan (mostly undertones until the end)
Summary: After being diagnosed with Lyme Disease, Joan looses her faith as well as her perceived role in the world. Thinking she hallucinated her missions from God, she turns away from those she loves. Can God himself convince her to start living again? Or will she continue to ignore him as a mere figment of her imagination?
A.N.: I couldn't remember the name of the priest that Helen goes to speak to often. Hence he is now named Father Michaels. If anyone remembers his actual name please share.
Counsel of a Father
Over the next month or so, Joan spent most of her time walking the streets of Arcadia when she wasn't immersed in reading. She had been to the library repeatedly a few times a week, so much so the even Luke, who spent copious amounts of time there himself, began to get concerned. When Joan wasn't walking aimlessly, she would read upon all aspects of God and faith. There was no repeat after the first day when she checked out books from the library and soon she pushed the whole disturbing episode from her mind.
Grace visited often, but would always be quiet when Luke was in the room. Summer continued to crawl by in an exceedingly slow pace, and Joan still hadn't heard from Adam. As far as she was concerned if Adam had cared as much as he said he did the very least he could have done was call her over the intervening weeks.
Two weeks before the start of school Joan's daily schedule changed when her mother began talking about renewing her faith in the church. The reactions varied from the outright disapproval of Joan's father, to the indifference of her siblings. Joan kept her thoughts to herself, much like she had done since the beginning of summer, and her family accepted that with ill grace as usual.
Who knows how long this would have continued had not Joan's mother seen "Questioning Your Faith" left on the coffee table in the living room. Since it was obvious none of the men in the family left it there, Helen decided to try to pull Joan from her depression while hopefully answering her questions as well. If all else failed maybe Father Michaels could counsel her. That decided Helen merely needed to convince Will that it would help their daughter.
So it was that that Saturday Joan found herself in Saint Augustine Church sitting in a pew next to her mother, listening to Father Michaels deliver a sermon on helping those less fortunate. Joan fought her parents tooth and nail against going, but unfortunately her mother just wouldn't budge.
While Joan wasn't so anti-God as she'd been when she was first diagnosed with Lyme Disease, she was still by no means comfortable in a church. For the last month Joan had been doing her best to forget God's existence, or more accurately she was trying to reconcile the hopeful piece of her expecting to see Him and the cynic who kept insisting that she was insane.
All of her reading merely confused her. The more she read the more she believe that He was out there watching over them all, but she still couldn't believe that she had actually been speaking to Him. If she did believe it then that would mean that he had abandoned her when she needed him and although their relationship had it's fair share of snark, Joan had grown to depend on Him without even realizing it consciously.
Joan suppressed a shiver when a stream of sunlight fell through the stain-glass window, casting colors on her and the people sitting close by. It was only when her mother rested a hand on her shoulder that she realized the sermon was over and the parishioners were getting up to leave.
"Come on Joan. I want you to meet Father Michaels." Helen herded her child up the aisle toward the front of the church. "You may have seen him, he was at the Art Show last year."
They closed the distance and Helen shook the Father's outstretched hand before introducing Joan.
"Father, this is my daughter Joan. Joan Father Michaels."
"Pleased to meat you Joan. It is always good to see new faces in the pews."
"Mom dragged me here." Joan answered sullenly, ignoring the flickering candles where God had given her a vision of the 'Big Picture' earlier in the year.
"Joan!" Helen admonished in embarrassment. "Be nice. I thought you two could talk."
Before Joan could tell her mother that she didn't want to talk to the priest her mother had already turned and was making her way up the aisle and out the doors.
"Just great." Joan mumbled under her breath. "First therapists, now a priest. What's next, the pope?"
"Shall we sit?" Father Michaels asked, ignoring the softly spoken comment, gesturing to the nearest pew. "Your mother's been very concerned about you."
"There's no need. I'm perfect, just perfect." Joan glared, before continuing sarcastically. "Don't I look perfect to you?"
Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Cute Boy God/Joan (mostly undertones until the end)
Summary: After being diagnosed with Lyme Disease, Joan looses her faith as well as her perceived role in the world. Thinking she hallucinated her missions from God, she turns away from those she loves. Can God himself convince her to start living again? Or will she continue to ignore him as a mere figment of her imagination?
A.N.: I couldn't remember the name of the priest that Helen goes to speak to often. Hence he is now named Father Michaels. If anyone remembers his actual name please share.
Counsel of a Father
Over the next month or so, Joan spent most of her time walking the streets of Arcadia when she wasn't immersed in reading. She had been to the library repeatedly a few times a week, so much so the even Luke, who spent copious amounts of time there himself, began to get concerned. When Joan wasn't walking aimlessly, she would read upon all aspects of God and faith. There was no repeat after the first day when she checked out books from the library and soon she pushed the whole disturbing episode from her mind.
Grace visited often, but would always be quiet when Luke was in the room. Summer continued to crawl by in an exceedingly slow pace, and Joan still hadn't heard from Adam. As far as she was concerned if Adam had cared as much as he said he did the very least he could have done was call her over the intervening weeks.
Two weeks before the start of school Joan's daily schedule changed when her mother began talking about renewing her faith in the church. The reactions varied from the outright disapproval of Joan's father, to the indifference of her siblings. Joan kept her thoughts to herself, much like she had done since the beginning of summer, and her family accepted that with ill grace as usual.
Who knows how long this would have continued had not Joan's mother seen "Questioning Your Faith" left on the coffee table in the living room. Since it was obvious none of the men in the family left it there, Helen decided to try to pull Joan from her depression while hopefully answering her questions as well. If all else failed maybe Father Michaels could counsel her. That decided Helen merely needed to convince Will that it would help their daughter.
So it was that that Saturday Joan found herself in Saint Augustine Church sitting in a pew next to her mother, listening to Father Michaels deliver a sermon on helping those less fortunate. Joan fought her parents tooth and nail against going, but unfortunately her mother just wouldn't budge.
While Joan wasn't so anti-God as she'd been when she was first diagnosed with Lyme Disease, she was still by no means comfortable in a church. For the last month Joan had been doing her best to forget God's existence, or more accurately she was trying to reconcile the hopeful piece of her expecting to see Him and the cynic who kept insisting that she was insane.
All of her reading merely confused her. The more she read the more she believe that He was out there watching over them all, but she still couldn't believe that she had actually been speaking to Him. If she did believe it then that would mean that he had abandoned her when she needed him and although their relationship had it's fair share of snark, Joan had grown to depend on Him without even realizing it consciously.
Joan suppressed a shiver when a stream of sunlight fell through the stain-glass window, casting colors on her and the people sitting close by. It was only when her mother rested a hand on her shoulder that she realized the sermon was over and the parishioners were getting up to leave.
"Come on Joan. I want you to meet Father Michaels." Helen herded her child up the aisle toward the front of the church. "You may have seen him, he was at the Art Show last year."
They closed the distance and Helen shook the Father's outstretched hand before introducing Joan.
"Father, this is my daughter Joan. Joan Father Michaels."
"Pleased to meat you Joan. It is always good to see new faces in the pews."
"Mom dragged me here." Joan answered sullenly, ignoring the flickering candles where God had given her a vision of the 'Big Picture' earlier in the year.
"Joan!" Helen admonished in embarrassment. "Be nice. I thought you two could talk."
Before Joan could tell her mother that she didn't want to talk to the priest her mother had already turned and was making her way up the aisle and out the doors.
"Just great." Joan mumbled under her breath. "First therapists, now a priest. What's next, the pope?"
"Shall we sit?" Father Michaels asked, ignoring the softly spoken comment, gesturing to the nearest pew. "Your mother's been very concerned about you."
"There's no need. I'm perfect, just perfect." Joan glared, before continuing sarcastically. "Don't I look perfect to you?"