Chapter 11

I talked to Soda about dropping out, and he hated the whole idea. I mean really, really hated it. I've never seen him so mad. But I remained on my mission. Throughout the yelling I just thought to myself we need the money...he's never gonna find out...Soda isn't gonna be able to pay for it himself...So the next day, I went looking for a part-time job. I would start out part-time, and after a while I would work full-time.

I found a job at the local resteraunt, plus a really cute girl named Krissy worked there. I felt really proud of myself, and for once I felt like I had more of a role in our so-called "family". On the first day Krissy introduced me around. For now I wash dishes, but the manager said if I do a good job on that, then he will promote me to waiter. I went home after I filled out some papers. I love weekends.

Midway on the bus, I realized...Darry was comming home today! I almost jumped in my seat. I had missed Darry so much, maybe we could even return to our state of being a "semi-family". I practically ran from the bus stop to our house. And that's when my "maid genes" kicked into gear. I cleaned the whole house that it practically sparkled. When Soda came home he was really amazed that I could do all of that in so little time.

Steve and Two-Bit came along with us to the hospital. This is really going to be great, I thought, the whole gang, just like it was before. But then reality hit me in the head. Darry wouldn't be the same old Darry he was 2 monthes ago. He might not even be able to walk. We're going to have to take real good care of him if he's gonna live. I could have killed myself if I said that outloud. It's not IF...Darry has to live. It can never be IF.

That eerie feeling came again when we entered the hospital. The nurse sitting at the desk pointed us down the hall and to the right. We saw Darry sitting on his bed, watching a movie, and eating a cup of jello.

"Hey Darry! How are ya feeling?" Soda asked, happily.

"Hey guys. I'm feeling much better. How have you guys been?"

"We've been doin good. Pony's just started to go back to school." Two-Bit said.

"That's good. Hey Pony, your bein awfully quiet. Somethin bothering you?"

I just nodded my head no. I really wanted to see Darry, but I didn't know i'd be this shy of him. Steve pushed in between me and Soda and sat on Darry's bed.

"So..they treatin you all right in here, Dar?" Steve asked.

"Yeah...I mean, I guess I just miss home. Especially Soda's cooking." Darry said, cocking his left eyebrow.

"Yup..everyone just loves my cookin'!" Soda replied eagerly.

The nurse finally came in and gave Darry some papers to sign and they let us take him home. He couldn't walk. We had to take him home in a wheelchair. He's not gonna be able to do most things he used to be able to do. Nothing's gonna be the same ever again.

Journal Entry #1

So I guess this is my first time writing here. I don't really know what to say. We got Darry from the hospital today. He looked better then he looked before. He can't walk anymore, so I guess Soda is gonna have to take some more sick-days to help him out. Nothing seems normal. I wish things would go back to the way they used to be. I'm reading this book and it has a really moving poem, and since I have nothing better to do, i'll write it down in here:

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year that Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

Its really long, but I like it. It's a suicide note. The main character (a boy) loves his best friend (who is a girl). But the girl is with some other guy. So I think thats what the poem is all about. Wanting something you can't have.

Ponyboy Curtis

I looked over my first journal entry. It seemed strange. But everything was strange now-a-days. And the second I got home, I went into my room, and just cried.