A/N: I'm going to ask you now to please not be mad at me. I know I haven't updated for ages, but that's only because I've been unable to sit at a computer. The reason: I have glandular fever. Incase you're wondering, it's absolutely horrible. If you care to read about the horribleness which is glandular fever, or want a real good reason as to why I've not updated, read my moaning section below. If not, proceed to the paragraph under it.

Moaning:

This is my forth full week off of school, not to mention two weeks of poor attendance and one week of sick holiday. I've been to hospital three times (once in A and E), had 3 blood tests (the third time they took six tubes of blood. Six!), had a chest x-ray, I have an inflames liver and an inflamed something else, septic tonsils, and a throat which looks like it has two golf balls sticking out of it, as well as head pains, fatigue (I was sleeping for 18 hours a day!), severe sore throats (I've been living on throat sweets), and disorientation (which is actually fun!). And I've been taking a bazillion pills. And I nearly had a biopsy. And I had doctors poke me. And I can't snog about boys for about forever as it's passed by saliva! breathes

So anyway, on the upside I've got at least another two weeks off school, as I'm contagious. Plenty of time for writing! I'm ready and eager to go! Sorry if this chapter drags, but I've been jamming things in, and I wrote it with one thing in mind like six weeks ago, and I picked it up with a completely different view today. It happens.

So don't review if you're mad at me. I won't mind. As long as you review the chapter after :P If anyone thinks I'm stopping this story, you're wrong. I've only got 12 chapters to go, like I'm going to stop now!

Always, Angel

Chapter 38- Of Princesses and heroes

'Knock knock.' Harry said tryingly, as he creaked open Ginny's bedroom door.

Her room was baby blue, and her furniture white and childlike. Her bed was large and had a princess curtain, and at this moment, a young girl curled up inside it.

'What do you want?' Ginny huffed unforgiving from beneath the cloth.

'You.' Harry said simply, running his hand along the drapes.

'What?'

Ginny jumped out from her hiding place, her hair a mess and her face on fire.

'I want to talk to you.' Harry said slowly, examining her state. She looked a cross between a mad Molly Weasley and a saber toothed tiger. Two very similar things, neither of which should be taken lightly.

'So you want to talk.' Ginny said, crossing her arms. 'Talk.'

'Look, I don't know why you're mad at me, but I want to apologize.' Harry explained, concentrating hard on her angry brown orbs.

'Well that's very noble of you, Harry.' Ginny huffed, placing her hands on her hips. 'But if you don't even know what you're saying sorry for, then what's the point?'

'The point is that whatever I said or did, I didn't mean it.' Harry said sincerely. 'And if it's about the train journey, well I don't even know what to say. I wanted to talk to you, but I couldn't find the right words.'

'The right words?' Ginny stressed tiredly, running a hand through her hair. 'Try I'm sorry Ginny, but I don't like you.'

'Sorry?' Harry asked, and Ginny shook her head.

'All you had to do was tell me.' She said sadly.

'What?'

'That it was a mistake.'

'What was?'

'That kiss.' Ginny ushered like the wind. 'All you had to do was have the decency to tell me. That's all I ask for. Instead you've been ignoring me, and I hardly think it's fair, Harry.'

'But I…' Harry panicked, searching madly for an explanation. None came.

'Look, it's not the end of the world.' Ginny hushed, strolling absent mindedly towards her dresser. 'I just need some time to cool off. I've been brewing on this for days, wondering what you were thinking...'

'I'm sorry.' Harry said, as he watched Ginny take a stuffed unicorn off her drawers and hold it close to her chest. 'I just didn't realize. I've had other things on my mind…'

'Well, that's fair enough.' Ginny said stiffly, glaring at the floor. 'I mean, it doesn't matter. I-I don't like you anyway, I was just confused. And it was only a little spur-of-the-moment kiss. It didn't mean anything.'

Harry thought he'd never heard so many things he didn't like in one breath. It was worse then the time Snape had told him they were making burning potions, which if done wrong would scold the drinkers insides, and that he'd be testing Neville's.

Ginny bit her lip somewhat uncomfortably, following the mellow hues of the carpet with her eyes. Harry swung his arms at his sides, trying to find something to say, yet nothing sprung to mind. A hero might have confessed that he loved her anyway, yet Harry didn't feel like that hero right now. He just felt like himself.

'So that's it.' Harry stated. It wasn't a question.

Ginny nodded her head silently.

Harry felt like the world had fallen apart and, as a punishment, had forgotten to take him with it.

'I'll see you then.' He finally whispered, taking a solitary lean against the door frame and a peek over his shoulder, before leaving.

The next few days were wasted for Harry. He felt like doing nothing but wandering around and being by himself. He resided mostly in his house library, flicking through volumes and picking out novels. Very few were to Harry's taste. He wasn't in the mood for tales of enchantment, magic and love. A book of death and suffering might have more suited his disposition.

Erin's mood had seen better days too; Harry had never seen her so down. Of course, her sudden changed of heart was due to Lily and James's absence. Erin had spent most of her time slamming pots and pans around in the kitchen, quite alone. Harry had to admit, smashing things around seemed like a pretty good idea to him too. It would relieve the pent up frustration Harry had himself of not seeing his parents, and maybe even aid a little of the heart ache Ginny had given him.

It was early Christmas Eve when a little sprinkle of hope (and snow) finally managed to brighten the young Potter's hearts.

'It's snowing again!' Erin cheered, running into Harry's room in her night dress,

and slipping over the rug.

'And Christmas Eve.' Harry smiled.

'Whatever!' Erin chimed, spinning in her slippers like a ballerina. 'Want to go outside?'

'No, you go.' Harry chuckled, fixing the tired crick in his neck.

'Oh come on, Harry.' Erin pouted.

'I don't think so.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'NO!'

'Ok!' Erin grinned, getting her boots out from nowhere and jamming them on. 'Suit yourself. I'm going to put on a fresh set of brownies when I get downstairs, do you want some?'

'All you've done is make brownies since you came home.' Harry fussed, hitching up his striped pajamas and climbing out of bed.

'That's not true. I've made scones, and shortbread, and cookies and cakes, too!' Erin insisted, reaching her brothers door. 'And besides, they're better fresh.'

Despite turning his nose up at the thought of more baked sweets, Harry found himself descending the stairs much earlier then he'd planned due to the delicious smell of chocolate. Harry allowed his nose to lead him to the kitchen, and was surprised when he didn't find Erin there.

'Erin!' Harry yelled, opening the oven door. 'I think your brownies are done.'

He took the steaming tray out of the heat, and left the cakes to cool on the side, before noticing that the back door was open.

'Erin?' Harry called again, crossing the kitchen cautiously, before slipping out into the garden.

Harry took a single step onto the patio, before stopping dead in his tracks. He couldn't believe his eyes. How was it possible? The garden was a picture of summer. Flowers bloomed at every bed, bells grew gracefully up the fences, and Harry had never seen grass greener; yet in the center of the garden fell a winter wonderland. A frosty water feature of a stag seemed to have iced over, and a pouring of powder snow was circling it. It was like there were two seasons in the garden.

'Harry!' Erin yelled, leaping out from behind the stag and making Harry jump out of his skin. 'So you've decided to join me?'

'I just came outside to tell you your brownies are done.' Harry said shiftily, and Erin smirked. 'So, why on earth do we have summer on the outside of our garden, and winter on the inside?'

'It's not really summer on the outside.' Erin chuckled, crossing over into the sunshine and throwing off her scarf. 'Just good weather. Dad did the charm years ago so that out flowers wouldn't die in the winter.'

'Oh.' Harry nodded, looking curiously across the green. 'And does it really matter if the flowers die?'

'Of course it does. Then we'd have to start our gardening all over!' Erin smiled, discarding her coat too.

'But couldn't you just charm all the flowers back again?' Harry asked, looking suspiciously at a family of tulips.

'And what fun would that be?' Erin asked, tossing her hat up a tree.

'Sorry.' Harry sighed, straightening up. 'I'm afraid I've never really seen the point of gardening. Uncle Vernon used to make me plant and weed his garden every summer, and all it ever did was die in the winter. I suppose this is a good idea, but I still don't see the fun in it.'

'If only my real brother could see you now.' Erin grinned, picking up a spade. 'He'd be mortified. He loves gardening.'

'Really?' Harry asked, disbelievingly.

'Yeah, he's been looking after the same batch of daisies for about 5 years.' Erin explained, leading her brother to the spot.

'Why?'

'Because he found out they were Ginny's favorite flower.' Erin said, bending down to the bed. A few dozen large daisies swayed happily in the breeze. 'He gave her some for Valentines Day a few years ago, and she loved them despite her complaints, but I never told him.'

'What do you grow out here?' Harry asked, moving away from his project.

'Oh I grow loads of things.' Erin grinned dreamily, moving across the garden. 'Different flowers, fruit and vegetables, from sunflowers to strawberries. I even used to have a banana tree, but that was difficult to keep. The gnomes kept trying to climb it, and it ended up loosing all it's leaves.'

'Do Mum and Dad do any gardening?' Harry asked, looking at a growth of clean red roses.

'Dad grew those.' Erin said, following Harry's eyes. 'He grew them for Mum. They're Mum's favorites.'

'What's Dad's favorite flower?' Harry asked curiously.

'Why, lilies of course!' Erin laughed, as if it was as plain as day. 'Mum likes her roses though. She almost named me Rose when I was born, as it's tradition for the women in her family to name their daughters after their favorite flowers. Mum went against it in the end though, as she didn't think I looked like a Rose.'

'Do you think you'll follow the tradition?' Harry asked, as he picked a blossom from the dirt.

'No.' Erin said, shoveling the mud.

'Why?' Harry asked. 'What are your favorite flowers?'

Erin smirked mischievously, before replying offhandedly: 'Rhododendrons.'

After a few hours of unexpected gardening, Harry felt happier then he had in days. The sun had come out, and he was suddenly able to look at the good side of things. Erin's newly returned optimism seemed to be rubbing off on him.

The Potter children clattered brightly inside the mansion in perfect time for an early lunch. Erin brought out a loaf of fresh bread, as well as a choices of cheeses, hams and jams, and Harry could honestly say he was spoilt for choice. The lunch at Hogwarts was always rather predictable, and Harry was given bread and butter at the Dursley's.

'I didn't know you could get gooseberry jam.' Harry stated, reading the sticky label on the homemade filling.

'Course you can.' Erin said, picking out the cutlery, serviettes and cloudy lemonade.

Harry picked up friendly looking lump of cheese and hacked a chunk off, before placing the portion in his mouth.

'You really do live in a perfect world, don't you?' Harry smiled, tapping a daisy coaster. 'It's like we're playing happy families. Every single thing is perfect, isn't it? Erin?'

'Sorry Harry? I wasn't listening.' Erin confessed, taking some baked goods out of the bread bin. 'I've just found my scones from yesterday. We could have them with jam and cream if you like.'

'Just perfect.' Harry smiled, watching the window's frilly white curtains sway in the breeze. 'Why is everything so wonderful here, yet I can't seem to enjoy it?'

'Maybe part of you doesn't want to enjoy it.' Erin suggested, pouring the drinks into sparkling glasses. 'You don't want to get used to it because you know you'll have to leave it.'

'That would make sense.' Harry mumbled, watching a beam of sunlight dance inside. 'But I think there's something else too.'

'Well if there's anything you need to talk about, you know where I am.' Erin smiled half heartedly, as Harry picked up his plate and left.

Once he was upstairs, in a much simple environment, Harry returned to something he knew he could enjoy: the library.

He wandered inside, feeling his spirit rise again, before he placed his cream scone by the reading area, and set about his mission.

Harry felt a skip in his step as he wandered down the isles, possibilities jumping out at his every look. Books he'd found unreadable before now seemed like a new adventure waiting to be discovered, yet he didn't chose any of them. Harry was looking for something special.

'What to read…' Harry chimed out loud, scanning every novel. 'What to read…'

He followed the marble flooring around and around, and must have passed the red reading couches about ten times, before he finally gave in to exhaustion (it was a rather large library).

Harry followed the book shelves round again, searching for an exit and thinking for a moment he'd gotten lost, before a book caught his eye. It was a perfectly ordinary volume called 'growing and shrinking charms,' yet for some reason it had been jammed roughly between two other books, surely getting damaged. Harry paced over into the dark corner of the room, and after a few minutes of tugging, extracted the book from its place.

Harry examined the hardback, wondering why it had been squashed, (all the rest of the books sat leisurely) before finding the problem. In the center of the volume sat another, much smaller book. It was blue, and looked old yet well cared for.

Harry put his finding in his pocket, and replaced the problem artifact quite easily. He chased back through the maze hastily now, the uncertainty causing excitement, and took a seat in a squashy red chair before taking out the book.

He turned over the first page carefully, and was taken back by what he saw in curly gold writing: 'Lily Evans.'

He turned the next page with a lick of the thumb, and took a curious read of what he assumed to be a diary entry.

'I leave for Hogwarts tomorrow. It's funny, I've been looking forward to it since I received my letter, but now my stomach has a funny feeling in it and I'm not so sure I should go. It's not that I'm afraid to leave home, I can honestly say that I wont miss Petunia, It's more like I'm afraid of coming home after. I'll be gone for a very long time, our first holiday is at Christmas, and I don't know if it will be the same when I return…'

'Harry!' The bright voice of Erin called, and he slammed the journal shut. 'It's almost half five. Mum and Dad will be home any minute!'

He hadn't known he'd been reading for so long. With a flick through the pages, Harry could see where the hours had gone. He'd read almost half of Lily's memoirs. He hadn't meant to, it was just intriguing.

Some people might have called it prying, yet Harry didn't feel like he was indulging in anything private. Lily's entries were basic, and general; they held no secrets or sins. Her diary was almost used as an organizer. It showed what she'd been upto, and what was on her mind, in a paragraph every evening.

'Are you alright?' Erin asked, as Harry slipped the book underneath the wooden desk. 'You've been up here a pretty long time.'

'I'm fine.' Harry said perhaps a little too airily.

'Are you sure?' Erin questioned, approaching the table. 'Because if it was something I said…I didn't mean to bum you out.'

'You didn't.' Harry chuckled under his breath. 'I'm fine. Just needed some me time.'

'Well I'm glad you've had it.' Erin grinned widely, plonking herself on the counter. 'Because you'll need to have some time for everybody else later. We're going to the Weasley's for a dinner party, if you'd forgotten.'

'Merlin.' Harry cursed. 'I actually had.'

'How predictable.' Erin sighed.

'But I can't go.' Harry stressed, standing up with the diary in his lap, causing it to fall smack onto the floor. 'What about Ginny? I can't face her after she turned me down.'

'But she didn't turn you down as you didn't ask her.' Erin repeated for the hundredth time. 'Maybe tonight is what you need. A chance to talk it through.'

'You've already told me this.' Harry rambled. 'You told me that when I asked you before.'

'Well then talk to her.' Erin harassed, sliding off the desk and onto her feet.

'But I tried that and it completely backfired.' Harry whined, leaning towards Erin for support. 'If you'd just tell me what she's thinking…'

'I think that's for you to figure out, Harry.' Erin insisted, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. 'Not that I know for sure. I haven't asked her. I only know what's obvious.'

'Well tell me what's obvious, please.' Harry begged, staring into two hazel brown eyes. 'I can't stand the way I left things. She just started talking about the kiss and how I didn't like her. I can't even figure out why she'd think that. I haven't said anything.'

'Well, maybe it's what you didn't say that caused her to assume.' Erin ushered, and Harry stood dead still. 'What you don't say and do can often hurt more then what you do, Harry. It's not difficult to see. You took her to the ball, you kissed her, and then you barely spoke to her the next few days. She probably figured that you didn't like her. She tried to be mature about it and talk it over on the train, but you dismissed her.'

'But that's not how it was.' Harry argued softly. 'That's not what I meant.'

'Well she doesn't know that.' Erin explained, shrugging her shoulders. 'It sounds to me like she's been trying her best not to get hurt. If she says she doesn't like you first, then you can't turn her down.'

Harry placed a tried hand on his beating head, trying to analyze the new perspective he'd been handed. His face must have looked one of puzzlement, and Erin soon elaborated:

'Look Harry, you're the prince.' She mused. 'You charged in, a knight in shining armor, and you won the princesses heart. You kissed her, and she finally thought she'd found a happy ending, when you sped away on your stallion.'

'But I was still there.' Harry whispered.

'In person, but in mind you were miles away.' Erin said seriously, getting off the table for a final time. 'If I were you, I'd sort things out soon. Your princess had been stuck in her castle for a long time, waiting to be rescued. I'm not sure how much longer she'll be willing to wait.'

Harry let Erin's words sink in, as she ambled out of the dim library with echoed steps.

'It's ok, I think I know what I'm going to do.' Harry said nobly, as he retrieved a blue diary off of the ground. 'I think it's time I get back on my horse.'