If you're looking for a less-linear plotline, go read Crash Bandicoot Nazza Style. :P

[CHAPTER 6: OCEAN SPEEDWAY]

'That was fun,' said Nazza.

'Except for the part where I picked up a poo,' said Spyro.

'And the part where you threw the poo at me,' said Nazza.

'And the part where I was kidnapped,' said Spyro.

'And the part where -'

'Stop arguing!' said Elora, who had sneakily snuck up on the two.

'Elora!' said Spyro.

'Hey Nazza,' said Elora. 'Spyro, I need you to help me out.'

'Hang on,' said Spyro, 'where'd Sparx go?'

'I haven't seen him in a while,' said Nazza.

'That's what I need help with,' said Elora. 'Sparx has been kidnapped!'

Nazza cracked up laughing. 'No, really, what do you need help with?'

'I was telling the truth.'

Spyro cracked up laughing. 'Come on Elora, tell us what the problem is.'

'Uh, Spyro, she *is* telling the truth,' said Nazza.

'Oh.'

'I think they might have Sparx captive in the speedway,' said Elora.

'Which speedway?' asked Spyro.

'The Ocean Speedway, of course,' Elora replied.

'Then, by default, we should go there, right?' said Spyro.

'Wha?'

'Never mind.'

Nazza and Spyro walked around till they found the speedway portal. 'This is it,' said Spyro.

'Yeah,' said Nazza. 'How many keys are in the speedway?'

Spyro pulled out the magical journal and flipped through the pages. 'Five.'

The two walked through the portal, and arrived on the speedway grandstand. 'Hello Spyro,' said one of the seahorses at the stand.

'Would you happen to know where any keys are?' Spyro asked.

'Yeah,' said the seahorse. 'There are quite a few tasks that need to be taken care of here.'

'What are they?'

'Not telling.'

'Come on,' said Spyro, 'don't be childish.'

'I'm not childish!'

'You are too!'

'Am not!' The seahorse stuck his tongue out. 'Anyway, you need to find other people to do the tasks for the keys. I don't have no keys.'

'Sure you don't...' said Nazza.

'Oh, and who's this, Mister...Big Shot...wolf...guy?'

'His name's Nazza,' said Spyro.

'Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.'

'He is.'

'Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.'

'You know what? You're an idiot.'

'Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.'

'Let's go find someone else who's smarter,' said Spyro. 'We'll be back to kill you later.'

'Oh, and on the way home could you get some bread please?'

'Uh......suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.'

Spyro flew off, and then realised that Nazza couldn't fly. He tried ignoring him, but the barking echoed throughout the whole...uh...place.

'Damn dog, can't I do something on my own for once?' He turned around and landed. 'How am I going to do this when you can't fly?'

'I can hold onto your belly!'

Spyro sighed. Nazza grabbed onto Spyro's belly, and they flew off.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They landed on one of those buildings coming out of the ocean. There weren't many, so they decided to land on this one.

'Hey look,' said Spyro, 'there's a note.' He picked it up and handed it to Nazza.

'You want me to read it?'

'Yeah.'

'You lazy little bugger. Or...can't you read?' Nazza joked.

'No......' said Spyro. It echoed throughout the speedway.

'Very funny,' said Nazza. 'Okay. The note says if we want to see Sparx alive again, we have to go kidnap one of those funny sea-horse things. If we want to see him alive and keep him alive, we have to kidnap two. If we want to see him alive, keep him alive and get some keys, we have to do five things and kidnap the two sea-horse things.'

'Riiiiiight,' said Spyro.

'What should we do first?'

'Well, what are the five things?' Spyro asked.

'Kidnap a seahorse-thing, kidnap another sea-horse thing, take them to the secret base, fight a bear that somehow got in and defeat Sparx's guards.'

'That makes sense,' said Spyro.

'No it doesn't! Why do you say stupid things?'

'I wasn't being stupid, I just said it makes sense.'

'Oh, I thought you said something else.'

The two conspired on how to kidnap the seahorses.

'We'll need some rope,' said Spyro. 'And some Pepsi.'

'Pepsi? Why would we need Pepsi?'

'Kidnappings make you thirsty. Believe me, I've done it before.' He closed his eyes and remembered.

Nazza stared at Spyro as he began making weird noises. 'Uh, Spyro, you okay?'

'Yeah. Just remembering something that happened between me and Elora.'

'I don't think I want to know.'

==IN SPYRO'S BRAIN==

-A Long Time Ago-

'I know what we could do!' said Elora.

'What?' asked Spyro.

'We could make weird noises!'

==MEANWHILE==

'Where are we going to get some rope?'

Spyro pulled some rope from his invisible backpack. 'Tada!'

'Now,' said Nazza, 'I've figured out a way to do it. You tie up the seahorse, while I stand and watch.'

'I have a better idea,' said Spyro. 'You can distract the seahorse, and then I tie it up and take it away.'

'Aww, but I liked my plan better!'

'Shut up.'

'Yes sir.'

The two flew over to a lone seahorse, which was standing alone, looking all lonely. 'Why...hello?' said Nazza.

'What do you want?' said the miserable seahorse miserably.

'Why...yes?'

'You make no sense!'

'I'm a dog, that's my job!'

'Right,' said the seahorse. 'Maybe you should just go away before I kill you.'

'You can't kill me!' said Nazza. 'I'm SUPAHFLY!'

The seahorse began walking...or should I say moving its fin...backwards, when Nazza stuck his foot out. The seahorse fell, and Spyro leapt onto him, tying him up.

'What did I ever do to you!' said the seahorse as they dragged him off to a place they had found. They could keep him there and he couldn't escape.

No, they didn't take him to school, they took him to a secret hideout.

'Now for number two!' said Spyro.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

'Hello, seahorse,' said Nazza.

'I'm not a seahorse, I'm a jellyfish. The seahorses are over there.' It pointed Nazza in the right direction.

'Thanks.' Nazza motioned for Spyro, who was about to lassoo the jellyfish, and they flew over to where the seahorses were.

'You can drop me down now,' he said as they hovered up in the air.

'Oh, right.' Spyro dropped him, and he landed with a thud on the ground.

'Ouch.' He dusted himself off and walked over to a seahorse. 'Hello.'

'What do you want? I'm in a bad mood!'

'You think *I'm* in a *good* mood?' said Nazza angrily.

'Well...yeah.'

'Wow, how'd you guess?'

The seahorse shook his head, and under his breath said 'Idiot.'

Spyro pushed the seahorse, knocking him over. They tied him up so he couldn't move, and Nazza laughed. 'Idiot.'

Spyro, Nazza and the seahorse flew back to their hidden hideout. 'Now we need to find the secret base,' said Spyro. He turned to see Nazza eating a mousse.

'Not now, I'm hungry.' He took a spoonful of the mousse.

'Uh, that's the stuff you put in your hair.'

Nazza looked at the mousse, then at his spoon, then back to the mousse, then shrugged and kept on eating.

'I know where the secret base is,' said one of the seahorses, who was tied up to a chair and was wearing a bag filled with water over its head so it wouldn't drown.

'Really?' said Spyro.

'No, I was just lying.'

'Damn you Modest Mel,' said the other seahorse.

'My name's Honest Hal,' said the lying seahorse. '*You're* Modest Mel.'

'Aww, shucks.'

Spyro and Nazza thought about this for quite a while, and came to a conclusion.

'We're not going to find this secret base any time soon.'

'Oh well.' Nazza shrugged and went back to sucking gel out of a little tube.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Spyro had flown around for a long time, but he couldn't find any secret bases.

'I can't find any secret bases,' said Spyro to Nazza as he landed in the secret hideout. 'And I've been looking for nearly a day!'

'Two hours,' Nazza corrected.

'My point is, I've been looking my butt off while you've been sitting here doing nothing!'

'I haven't been sitting here doing nothing,' said Nazza. 'I've been sitting here eating hair products.'

'Well could you at least think about where the secret base might be?'

'It might be in here,' Nazza replied.

'He's been eating too much mousse,' said Honest Hal.

'Hang on!' said Spyro. 'He might be right!'

'Maybe there's a switch on the walls or something,' said Nazza.

'Yeah, that might work,' said Spyro. 'Like if you touch a certain part of the wall, it'll reveal the hidden base.'

The seahorses fell over.

And hit the part of the wall that reveals the hidden base.

Spyro watched as the back wall (the one opposite the open space where they got in and out of their secret hideout) slowly rose to reveal a dark corridor. 'Come here, doggy.'

'Not now, I haven't finished with the hairspray yet.'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Spyro and Nazza walked down the dark corridor, dragging a seahorse each. 'How come we didn't think of this before?' Nazza asked.

'Coz you're stupid,' said Spyro.

'Hey! I'm not stupid!' said Nazza.

'Are too!'

'Am not!'

'Are too!'

'Who...uh...what have I done lately...' Nazza tried to remember something that he had done with Spyro that had benefited them both. 'Getting a high score on Snake II is good, isn't it?'

'How high was the score?' asked Spyro.

'Seven-hundred and seventeen!' said Nazza, smiling rather evilly for a dog.

'Bah, I can get higher than that,' said Spyro.

'What's your high score?' Nazza asked.

'Five thousand!' said Spyro proudly. He produced his mobile phone and waved it about. Nazza snatched it out of his hand, and opened Snake II.

'Ha!' said Nazza. 'Your high score is fifty!'

'It's not my fault I can't play it at high speeds!' said Spyro defensively. 'Besides, these paws aren't designed for playing Snake.'

'My paws are exactly the same as your paws,' stated Nazza.

'Yeah, but...your paws...your paws...your paws are radioactive!'

'Are not!'

'Am too!'

'Are not!'

'Am too!'

'Uh, shouldn't we get going?' said Honest Hal.

'I'm too busy playing Snake,' said Nazza.

==FIVE MINUTES LATER==

'Nazza, can we go now?'

'GOD DAMMIT!' shouted Nazza. 'Thanks a lot, Spyro! I had 576 points and you ruined it!'

'Hey, you've played it on my phone!' said Spyro. 'Finally, a high score that I can pass off as my own, without having to prove my lack of skill!'

==TEN MINUTES LATER==

'Nazza, I really think it's time we left now.'

'Okay.' Nazza reached out to hand the phone back to Spyro, when suddenly one of the seahorses kicked it.

Spyro watched as the phone flipped around in slow-mo, hit the wall and smashed into several pieces, which then set on fire. 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

'Oh well,' said Nazza. 'Let's go now.'

==FIVE MORE MINUTES LATER==

'Come on, Spyro. We need to rescue Sparx. Don't you want to see Sparx again?'

Spyro stacked all the burnt pieces up, wiping a tear or seven from his eye. 'May it rest in peace.' He wrote "Spyro's Shrine" in the dirt, then stood up. 'Now it's personal.'

'Dude, it was personal when they kidnapped your friend Sparx. Besides, it wasn't the enemy that broke your phone. It was the fishes.'

'Did I say the fishes was *friends*?' said Spyro.

'No...but...look, let's just get this over and done with.'

'Okay.'

They continued down the path until they reached a long, wide hall. There was a marble path to a large throne, with green lava around and underneath. There were several other paths leading off into other rooms.

On this big throne was a large monkey.

'Welcome to my kingdom,' boomed the large monkey.

'Uh, hello,' said Spyro. 'We've come to deliver the seahorses.'

'Ah, yes,' boomed the large monkey. It stood up, stomped over to Nazza and Spyro, and picked them up. He stomped back over to his throne, chucked the seahorses in the air, opened his mouth and swallowed them whole.

'Uh, now can we have a key or two?'

=============================1 Key(s) Found==============================

==============================2 Keys Found===============================

'Whoa!' said Spyro. 'I'm freaking out here, two in a row!'

Suddenly the two were teleported to a strange room. It resembled a cave; that was because it was a cave. There was a lone cage in the middle, which held Sparx captive.

'Sparx!' shouted Spyro. 'How great to see you!'

Sparx buzzed happily.

'Fine then, don't be happy to see me,' said Spyro. 'But who's the one in the cage?'

Suddenly guards appeared out of nowhere. 'Uh-oh,' said Nazza. 'Time for split-screen.'

'Split-screen?'

'Yes.'

=SPLIT SCREEN=

-NAZZA-

Five guards appeared out of nowhere. Nazza jumped into the air, flew towards one, and kicked it. He bounced off that guard and kicked another guard. He bounced off that guard and spun around, kicking the other five guards.

-SPYRO-

Spyro watched as Nazza kicked the guards.

=END SPLIT SCREEN=

'Well, that was...interesting,' said Spyro.

'Hang on!' said Nazza. 'There's still more guards to come!'

=SPLIT SCREEN=

-NAZZA-

Five more guards appeared out of nowhere. Nazza kung-fu fought one, destroyed it, swung his fist upward and hit another one in the face, jumped, spun around in slow-mo while the rest of the world froze, and kicked another guard. He landed, and fell asleep.

-SPYRO-

Spyro watched Nazza kung-fu fighting (HOO!) and turned around to see two guards advancing on him. He shot out flames, which froze in midair like everything else. While Nazza spun around in slow-mo, the scene spun around in slow-mo, showing Spyro's flame. It unfroze, and the flames roasted the guard. He charged at the other guard, killed it, then found Nazza had fallen asleep.

=END SPLIT SCREEN=

'That was too easy,' said Spyro. 'Nazza, wake up.'

'Not now,' Nazza mumbled. 'I haven't finished killing Mario yet.'

'Sometimes I wonder what that dog dreams about...'

==NAZZA'S BRAIN==

'Haha!'

Nazza ran around with a flamethrower. 'Come here, Mario!'

'MAMA MIA!' shouted Mario. His funny vacuum from Mario Sunshine was no match for Nazza's flamethrower.

Suddenly God appeared in the clouds. 'Nazza, wake up.'

'Not now, I haven't finished killing Mario yet.'

Nazza shot at Mario and roasted him. 'I'm done.'

Suddenly Nazza woke up. 'Where are we?' he wondered.

'In the room that Sparx is being held captive,' said Spyro.

Nazza stood up. 'Oh yeah.' He ran up to Sparx's cage, opened it and Sparx buzzed happily. 'What did he say, Spyro?'

'He says you can shove it up your butt.'

'Okay.' Nazza grabbed the cage, but was stopped when he heard something. 'Remember the bear I told you about?'

'Yeah.'

'It's in here.'

Suddenly God's face appeared. 'I forgot to give you this.'

==============================3 Keys Found===============================

'Thanks, God!' said Spyro.

Suddenly a grizzly bear entered the room, kicking down a bit of cave - which was actually just cardboard.

'ROAR!' said the bear.

'Uh-oh,' said Nazza.

'Split screen, split screen!' said Spyro like a little kid.

'Not now,' said Nazza. 'This time it's business.'

'Which means...?'

'It's business.'

'...Riiiiiight...'

Sparx flew over to the bear, sneezed, and suddenly the bear began melting. It melted into a little puddle.

'Well whaddayaknow, Sparx's sneeze is acidic.'

Sparx, Nazza and Spyro walked out the cardboard hole the bear had made and into that big hale with the giant monkey.

'Thanks for killing the bear,' boomed the monkey. 'For that you get a key.'

==============================4 Keys Found===============================

'Now, you must die.'

Suddenly ravaged wolves ran out, and growled. Nazza and Spyro turned and ran...

===Spyro and Nazza's Journal===

[PAGE 9]

=Ocean Speedway=

Gems: 0/0

Keys: 4/5

(1) Let Monkey Eat Honest Hal

(2) Let Monkey Eat Modest Mel

(3) Split-Screen of Doom

(4) Bear Meltdown

(5) ------

=======================================================================

Next Chapter: Why ruin it for you by saying that Nazza and Spyro get ripped to shreds by wolves. I mean, you'd have to be really stupid to reveal the plot of the next...oh f(Mario).

:P

As for that MST, it can be found on this really cool site: www.sitefights.com/community/fantasy/turquoisephoenix

More split-screen mayhem in the next episode of Dragonball Spyro-Nazza-Style!