DISCLAIMER: Nazza the Blue Wolf is a trademark of the author Nazza/Usage of Nazza the Blue Wolf without express permission is prohibited - Doomfeather is copyrighted to the author TurquoisePhoenix/Usage of Doomfeather without express permission is prohibited, so that means I'm probably prohibited - Hopefully not because it's just a cameo - This piece of fiction is copyrighted the author Nazza - This piece of fiction is not endorsed by Spyro, Universal Studios, Sony Computer Entertainment Europe or Sony - The opinions expressed in this piece of fiction are the opinions of the author and as such should not be taken seriously

Note: Half of this chapter was written at least three months after the first half, so some of the facts might not add up and I may have missed something.

=Spyro Nazza Style=

======by Nazza=====

[CHAPTER 11: CRUSH'S DUNGEON]

Spyro, Nazza, Elora and Hunter gathered together just outside Aquaria Towers. 'You know what sucks?' said Hunter.

'Hunter, this isn't the time,' said Elora. 'We're trying to discuss something.'

'When you get a wedgie that won't seem to come off.'

'Hunter! That's gross!' cried Spyro.

'Yeah, I hate it when that happens,' Nazza replied. 'Only happened once, but it was painful. Damn Mario-supporters, next time I see them I'm gonna -'

'Nazza! Hunter!' said Elora. 'Stop talking for a second!'

The two looked at their shoes with sad faces. As in they had the sad faces, not the shoes.

'You know what'd be cool?' said Hunter. 'If there were shoes that had sad faces -'

Elora growled angrily. 'Hunter, what did I just say?'

'Sorry sir.' Another growl. 'Err, I mean ma'am.'

'Now,' said Elora, 'Spyro, why'd you call us here for a discussion?'

'To discuss,' replied Spyro.

'No, I mean what are we here to discuss?'

'Oh. Well, so far Nazza and I have gotten all the gems and keys for Summer Forest. And while with Nazza, I came down with amnesia.'

'I wonder why,' mumbled Nazza.

'He was talking about you,' Hunter replied.

'I know.'

'Where's Crush's Dungeon again?' Spyro finished.

'I'll take you there,' said Elora. 'But why do you want to go there? It's in a wreck from last time and Crush might not be there.'

'Trust me, he'll be there,' said Spyro.

'Okay then, I trust you. Hunter, you stay here and guard Summer Forest. Nazza, come with us.'

Spyro and Elora walked off, not realising Nazza hadn't heard. He just stayed there, chasing his tail for five minutes.

'Uh, Nazza, they've left without you,' said Hunter.

'Oh well. You live what you learn.'



'Hey,' said Spyro, as the two arrived at the big wooden door blocking off the hole to Crush's Dungeon, 'where's Nazza?'

'Ah, who cares about him. He's probably sitting with Hunter having a drooling contest.'

'Don't you mean dribbling? And I never knew they played basketball.'

'I'm not talking about basketball,' said Elora.



'Say,' said Nazza, after five minutes of silence between the two, 'What do you do during the day?'

'Me?' Hunter replied.

'No,' said Nazza sarcastically. 'I'm talking to the magical snail who's sitting in my ear.'

'Wow, can I talk to the snail?'

'Snail? Where?'



'Wow, that was a refreshing discussion about basketball,' said Elora. 'Now, where were we?'

'You were going to tell me how to open this door to get to Crush.'

'Oh yeah,' said Elora. 'Just wondering, before I open it, why do you think Crush'll be there?'

'I know he'll be there. Ripto is so predictable.'



Ripto snickered. 'When Spyro comes down here he won't realise Crush is here to kill him! I'll bet he never thought of that!'



'You know what's cool?' said Nazza.

'What's cool?' asked Hunter.

'Staying up all night,' said Nazza. 'But then I fall asleep at ten AM.'

'Cool!' said Hunter. 'And you know what's cooler than being cool? Ice cold! At least, that's what I heard on this show I was watching once. I think it must've been a musical.'

'Your point being?'

'If staying up all night is cool, then staying up all day must be ice cold!'

'Erm, Hunter? People do it every day. It's a lot easier than staying up all night. Not many people do that every day!'

'No, they don't. They do it every night.'



'Well, wish me luck,' said Spyro.

'Break a leg!' Elora replied. Spyro then jumped down the hole that led to the dungeon. 'Trusting him, he probably will. Hey! Wait, Spyro! You forgot your parachute!'



'And in your waiting hands I will lend, and roll out of my skin...'

'Say Nazza, what are you singing?' said Hunter over Nazza's (bad) singing voice.

'...ready to begin,' Nazza finished, although Hunter had interrupted the line of the song before it (and not that the author had forgotten that line and used some excuse). 'Audioslave. It's been stuck in my head for days.'

'You know what we should do?' said Hunter. 'We should go kick some sheep.'

'Sounds like a plan,' Nazza agreed.



Spyro managed to use those pathetic wings of his to glide down safely to the room below where Crush was waiting in an arena, with Ripto watching from the sidelines. There was a moat of lava dividing the arena from the one-man crowd, but if Spyro wanted he could've used the bridge to get across.

'Haha!' cried Ripto, waving his sceptre wildly. 'I bet you didn't expect to find us down here!'

'Calm down, you're gonna poke someone's eye out with that,' Spyro said. 'Why do I need to fight Crush again?'

'Crush had so much fun last time, he wanted a rematch!' shouted Ripto.

'He had fun being crushed by bits of the unstable roof?' Spyro retorted.

'Ah, err, um, shut up you! If you defeat Crush again I'll let you use the portal to the Autumn Plains.'

'Ah, you're forgetting something short-stuff,' Spyro informed. 'The Autumn Plains and Winter Tundra portals are working fine. In fact, I had a vacation in the Winter Tundra the week before you decided to take over Avalar again.'

'Ah, err, um, I'll be back in a tick.' Spyro watched Ripto waddle out of the arena. His voice echoed from above, 'Don't move!'



'Here's a nice sheep paddock.'

Hunter and Nazza hid behind some bushes. 'What exactly are we going to do?' asked Nazza.

'Kick the sheep,' Hunter replied. 'Duh.'

'No, I mean if they charge at us, what do we do then?'

'Run,' Hunter replied. 'Duh.'

'What if we can't run fast enough?'

'Get trampled on and eaten,' Hunter replied. 'Duh.'

'I thought goats were the ones who ate stuff...'

Hunter did a quick count of the sheep in his mind. Unfortunately, they kept moving, so he kept miscounting, which meant he had to start over again.

'You know, I don't get sheep. I mean, why do they have all that fur? Are they hiding weapons of mass destruction, or - Hunter! Wake up!'



'I would be a good guy, but you don't get paid much.'

'You get paid when you're a bad guy?' Spyro queried.

'Oh yeah, Boss always gives me fresh meat, and any sparkly objects he happens to find.'

'Sounds like you got a good deal,' Spyro said.

'Yeah,' said Crush. 'I really enjoy -' At that moment the two heard a DING! Ripto left the elevator and resumed his position at the seat. 'Me crush you good!'

'Ah, see? Crush is enthusiastic about his rematch,' said Ripto. 'You should be too, Spyro.'

'You should be enthusiastic as well, Ripto,' quipped Spyro, 'coz your growth hormones are being delivered.'

'Why you - damn - freakin' - little bas-'

'No, seriously,' said Spyro, 'your growth hormones are being delivered. They should be in your letterbox right...about...now.'

Ripto's and Crush's eyes both widened in amazement. 'How...how did you know that?' Ripto stated in awe.

'I didn't, I was just foolin' with you,' Spyro replied.

Ripto let out a roar. 'Crush! Fight him to the death!'

Crush nodded, indicating he understood. Ripto nodded, indicating he knew Crush's indication. Spyro nodded, just because he felt like it. This bought him some valuable time, which he used to clean his horns and make sure they were at their shiny best.



'Ready?' said Hunter.

'Ready,' said Nazza.

The two jumped out from behind the bushes and ran for the nearest sheep. 'Hehe, this is fun!' shouted Nazza.

'Yeah, it's one of my favourite hobbies!' said Hunter as he came up alongside one of the sheep and gave it a good kick in the gut. He then did a U-turn and kicked it again. Soon Hunter was so wrapped up in the game he forgot all about his troubles. It was as if he had just smoked some pot (not that he would know), and his high seemed to be lasting forever.

When he finally came down from that high he felt suddenly depressed, and questioned life and its worth. Then he saw what Nazza was doing with the sheep and cried out in disgust. 'Jeez! Put it away!'



Crush and Spyro sized each other up, stepping in circles around the arena like cowboys in those cowboy movies do. 'Go ahead,' muttered Spyro, 'make my day.'

'No, there's no hay in here,' Ripto replied. 'Just dirt and molten lava.'

Spyro took no notice of his misinterpretation, and Crush simply stood there confused.

'Draw!' cried Ripto.

'I don't have a pencil!' cried Spyro. He turned to face Ripto, just as a laser beam flew past him.

'Aha!' cried Ripto with glee. 'You see, there may be rules against torturing an Avalarian citizen, but there aren't rules against having a quickdraw, old Western style!'

'I get it now!' said Spyro. 'Because you're so short, all the blood goes to your head and makes you think you're good when you're not!'

Ripto gave Spyro the finger. 'Very funny, you're a regular comedian.' He then stared at Crush and made a head-movement at Spyro.

'What's wrong?' said Spyro. 'Got water in your ear?'

Ripto ignored him and continued staring at Crush and making head-movements. Crush, however, was staring down the barrel of his laser gun, curious as to how it worked.

'You know cracking your neck isn't good for you. Neither is cracking your knuckles.'

Ripto sighed, and then yelled 'Crush! Kill him, NOW!'

A laser beam shot past Spyro's nose, only just singeing it. 'Ooh, now it's personal.' Spyro broke out into a run, with Crush firing and always only just missing the dragon's tail. While running around in circles, Spyro decided he needed to come up with a plan. But at the moment all he was doing was making Crush dizzy.

'Hang on a minute, I have an idea...' said Spyro to himself. '...I'll roast Crush's butt!'



Nazza and Hunter lay down on the grass, staring up at the clouds. 'These clouds look crazy,' said Hunter.

'Uh, that would be because they're not clouds.'

'Well they sure as hell aren't fighter planes!'

One of the fighter planes up in the sky fired, and suddenly enemy planes were falling everywhere. 'They must be the bad guys, because despite the plane only having shot ten bullets there are fifty falling enemy planes,' Nazza observed.

'I know how to fix that,' said Hunter. Out of nowhere he pulled out a huge rocket launcher, known as The Redeemer. Each missile was three feet long and nine inches thick, and luckily, Hunter happened to be carrying one around with him. He pulled the trigger, and the missile flew up into the air and exploded, destroying every plane in sight. The recoil from The Redeemer (Hunter was lying down when he fired it, obviously) sent the cheetah two yards into the ground. 'Ow, my back.'

'Is there a chiropractor in the house?' cried Nazza.

Luckily there was, and they were able to rebuild Hunter's spine. 'Where'd you get a weapon like that anyway?' Nazza asked, as the two lay on the grass watching the clouds.

'I bought it of some guy called Lan, or Xan, or something,' Hunter replied. 'Hey look, it's a vulture!'

'So it is,' Nazza replied. Suddenly, SPLAT!

'Aaaaargh!' cried Hunter in disgust. 'The vulture pooped on me!'

Meanwhile, Doomfeather sniggered to himself. 'I hope Hunter likes my present...'



After spinning around for a good fifteen minutes, Spyro decided that he would go with his plan. He also decided that if he ever played Pin the Tail on the Donkey with Crush he would have to cheat, as the...whatever he is wasn't dizzy yet.

'Now or never,' Spyro said to himself as he charged directly at Crush. Crush wasn't expecting this, so naturally he aimed the gun at Ripto. This bought Spyro enough time to circle the oaf and aim his blow (no pun intended) carefully. A sneeze later, and Crush was screaming like a little girl.

'No, not the patended Ass Blow!' cried Ripto. 'Crush nearly had you, you stupid dragon, and he would've had his way if it weren't for you meddling kids!'

Spyro rolled his eyes and watched as the two exited the arena. 'You've won this time, but you won't survive our next meeting, Batman!' And Ripto was gone.

'That was too easy,' said Spyro to himself. 'Note to self: always attack the butt.' He looked around, then realised something. 'How am I going to get out of here?'



As Hunter and Nazza lay down staring at the sky, they noticed some birds that were flying in a weird way. They almost seemed to be spelling out a phrase:

"Happy B'Day TP"

'Happy New Year? What the hell?'

'What are you on about, Hunter? It clearly says "Have a break have a Kitkat".'



Spyro was about to end his misery and jump into the lava when suddenly a UFO appeared in the sky above him. Also, suddenly all light disappeared (except for the UFO's), and the X-Files music began playing.

Before Spyro could question what was happening, a beam appeared, shining at Spyro. Suddenly he felt himself being lifted, and no matter how hard he tried, the beam would not let go. 'Lousy beam.'

He hoped with all his heart it wasn't the same group of aliens that had tried to probe him last time. He didn't realise he had his eyes shut until he opened them. Instead of seeing the inside of a spaceship, or someone telling him that he was stoned, he found himself in the room with Elora.

'What happened?' Elora asked.

'Well, I defeated Crush,' Spyro said. 'And then I got abducted by aliens...'

'I'm sure,' said Elora. 'Well, you defeated one of Ripto's lackeys, and that's all that counts.'



The four met up outside the differently-shaped portal that led to Autumn Plains. 'Did you kill the bad guy?' Hunter asked enthusiastically.

'Yeah,' said Spyro, rolling his eyes.

'Hey, I saw that!'

Luckily for Spyro, it was Nazza making faces that Hunter saw.

'What did you guys get up to?' Elora asked.

Hunter was about to make a dirty comment, but he decided not to. 'We kicked a few things, saw something that was strangely like bad ASCII art, destroyed a few planes. Nothing out of the ordinary.'

'Say, Hunter,' said Spyro, 'will you join me on my quest for the keys to unlock Ripto's Castle?'

'Maybe,' said Hunter. 'But not now. I have a Redeemer to play with.' And off the cheetah went.

'How about you, Elora?' Spyro asked.

'Oh, don't be silly. You know I'm supposed to be the one who gets kidnapped. You and Nazza are the adventurers.'

'In bed you're the adventurer,' Spyro retorted.

==IN SPYRO'S BRAIN==

'Look at Elora sleeping,' said Spyro.

'Yeah,' said Hunter. 'She's so...'

'Hot?'

'Sleepy.'

==IN THE REAL WORLD==

So it was that the two adventurers set off on another adventure. Well, first they had something to eat. But then they set off on another adventure.

'Come on Nazza, it's just like any other portal,' Spyro said, trying to convince the dog to jump into it.

'It's not one of those disintegrator things?'

'Nope.'

'Okay then.' Nazza took a step towards the portal, but suddenly!...

TO BE CONTINUED

As you may have noticed, this chapter celebrates 100 years of toilet paper! Where would we be without it? :P

In the Next Chapter: I don't know, something's probably gonna happen. Who knows, maybe next time it might be something interesting.