Kingdom of Heaven

Chapter Five

Note: I only write about Kingdom of Heaven for amusement purposes. The movie is under copyright of Twentieth Century Fox, Scott Free Productions, directed by Ridley Scott, written by William Monahan. Please note that the quotes are from the movie!

"Balian, where are you?"

My wife's voice is afraid. Very, very afraid, although I do not know why. Inside our home, there is darkness but for a small, flickering candle flame. I pick up the burning candle to light my way toward Anne. She needs me.

"I'm coming, sweetheart."

"I can't see you…"

Her voice is getting closer. I follow the echo of her voice as my guide as to her whereabouts. She is very near.

At last, the candlelight unveils the darkness, illuminating the outline of Anne's visage. "I was afraid I would never find you," she whispers, her scorn turning into a sweet smile.

"It's alright, my love. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be beside you."

I wrap my arms around her in an embrace, but I have nothing to hold, for as soon as I hug her, she is gone. Her body substance has vanished away into nothing. "Anne!" I scream her name, but she doesn't answer. Her smile is frozen in time. My own voice is muted. In front of my eyes, she is transforming. Her ghastly face turns to stone. She has transformed from human to angel. My angel. My life.

"I am here. I am real. I will be with you forever. I promise. Say you love me. Say that you'll protect me. I need you."

"Yes. I promise." I do not know if her voice is real or not, but I answer it.

Anne is then thrust into the cold, hard ground. She is dead. Gone. I hold her hand tight, but a stronger force is pulling her apart from me.

"I promise…"

With one last word, she lays down to rest. There is a blinding flash of light, then darkness once more.

I awoke from the nightmare. I awoke screaming Anne's name. On my forehead I could feel beads of cold sweat. It had felt so real, not a dream. I had for once believed that Anne had sprung back to life. What had the dream meant? Was she in heaven? Or was she trying to say something to me in hell?

Say you love me. Say that you'll protect me. I need you.

Her voice rang clear. She was asking me to help her. To help her erase her sins, perhaps, so that she may be accepted in the Lord's Kingdom. I had promised her in my dream that I would release her soul.

"Get up, Balian. A day starts early for a knight. How's your hand?"

"It is getting better, Father."

"That's good to hear. You will need your hands today." Godfrey then dropped a long, silver sword at my side. It landed with a pleasant clank. I picked it up.

"Come, let us see what you are made of."

Godfrey banged his sword against mine. I was quick to dodge it. My years as a blacksmith had me trained for swordplay. Godfrey struck again, I dodging it yet again.

"You fight well," he commented. In split seconds, he pushed his sword against mine.

"The blade isn't the only part of the sword."

This was no ordinary knight.

My ears picked up the trail of horses. Two men trotted to our camp. He looked like a local villager. A chill ran down my spine.

"We have come to take Balian of Ibelin. He has committed a murder."

I stood up, willing to accept my penalty. "Father…I have told you before."

Godfrey's serious expression returned. He was deep in thought.

"I suppose you do. But mind you, he is going to Jerusalem with me. I understand he has committed a deadly sin… but he is my son, and I beg you to pardon him."

"Father, they have the right to take me." I spoke tentatively. It might be the last time I would ever be talking to him again.

"Papa…" Godfrey looked so solemn, lost, broken, but nevertheless he stayed strong. He never lost his stance.

"Hush. No more will be spoken about this. Gentlemen, I have made my choice. He stays here with me, understood?"

"But, good man, whether he is your son or not, he's a murderer. Do you think that that stain of taking another man's life- the priest's- will ever wash out of him? Hm?"

"He has a chance." He then withdrew his sword from his belt, ready as ever for combat. I merely had a moment to breathe before battle began.

The men responded with a salvo of arrows, piercing the air like angry wasps. I did my best to defend my life. I managed to kill a few. Our men fought bravely, but I saw a few of them fall in battle.

I struck a man in the stomach. I swerved my head around. My father stumbled, revealing an arrow piercing his rib.

It happened so fast- it was all a blur.

"Father!" I screamed. The battle was soon over. The raiders rode away in silence. One of their swords touched my head.

Standing up, I followed Hospitaler into the tent.

"Is he going to be alright?" It was my first question that evening. Hospitaler looked grim.

"We will see about that, Balian. It's a more serious wound than I thought."

I watched in horror as Hospitaler removed the arrow from my father's body. His face was drenched in sweat, and he whimpered in pain.

Soon, the arrow was out. "Please…give me some more wine." He sounded so weak, no longer the strong Godfrey from before.

"He might live. There is still a chance that he may live." Hospitaler patted me on the shoulder.

"Thank you," I replied.

Despite the excruciating pain, Father forced a weak smile.

"I'm glad to have you here with me, my son."

I nodded. "Balian, there is a chance I might not heal fast enough to go to Jerusalem with you."

"Then I will go myself."

"Yes, you must go to Jerusalem yourself. Why? You are the new Baron of Ibelin now. I have served the King of Jerusalem. I owned the land of Ibelin. It is yours now. You must be there in my place to protect the people." He spoke softly.

"Do not speak so much, Father. You must rest."

"I am fine, Balian. Do not worry about me. Take care of yourself." Godfrey insisted. "Do you know what lies in the end of Crusade?"

It was a random question; I hadn't expected him to talk about it. His face lit up at the talk of it.

"There is a new, better world that rests in the future. There, you are not what you were born, but what you have it in yourself to be. There will be a kingdom of conscience- peace instead of war, love instead of hate. That, Balian, is what is called the Kingdom of Heaven." He paused for breath.

"Such a world is forgotten, Father." I answered stiffly.

"I know you have lost your faith recently. I am deeply sorry. What else can I say; no one can feel your pain. They can only imagine it. But you mustn't let your sorrow consume you, hide you from the world. You must learn to break free…Balian, this is a very important mission. Do not disappoint me." He paused. "Come, help me up. I must give you something for your journey."

"No, father, you are too ill to do anything…"

"I have been through worse situations, boy, now do as I ask of you."

I then supported my father's weight. He climbed out of bed with some effort. Leaning over at the table, he lifted a sword. "Kneel," he ordered.

I obeyed, for I knew I was being knighted.

"Earlier on, I asked Hospitaler to bring this in for me. This is the sword that I pass onto you. It is a fine sword, and it'll be your friend during wartime, or if a situation may arise that you may need to use it. It is the token of your knighthood. Cherish it."

"This is a solemn oath. You are to obey it fully, without any question. Understand? Be without fear, in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth, always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath." He then knelt down and slapped me hard across the face. It stung for two seconds, and the pain was gone.

"That is so you remember it. Rise, a knight!" I took the sword with too hands and stood up. "Protect the people of Jerusalem. Always remember that that is your number one priority."

I blew out the burning candle by his bedside table. The world was dark again. I saw no flame of hope, no future, just a grim, bleak present. I thought of what my wife had said to me when she came to me in the dream. To promise her that I would protect her. She was talking to me from hell…a message to save her.

How could I? I wanted so much to go help her, free her soul… would going to Jerusalem and fighting for God's land really send her to heaven?

There were no answers; only silence in the darkness.