--Spyro Nazza Style-
-------by Nazza------
-CHAPTER 12: AUTUMN PLAINS-
Nazza took a step towards the portal, but suddenly!...
'I know a way to see whether or not this is a disintegrator thing!' said Nazza.
Spyro sighed. 'It's a normal portal!'
Nazza walked over to a rock pile, picked up one, walked back to the portal/disintegrator thing and threw it in. 'See! It disintegrated that rock!'
'No it didn't,' Spyro replied.
'Well where is it then?' Nazza crossed his arms and sneezed in triumph.
'It's on the other side of the portal, dummy,' Spyro stated.
'Prove it.'
'Okay then.' Spyro jumped into the portal.
'Oh no! He killed himself! He would rather die than admit he was wrong.'
Two seconds later Spyro reappeared, spitting the rock out of his mouth. 'There's your proof.'
'Aargh! Spyro's ghost has come back to haunt me!'
'You idiot.'
The two eventually arrived in Autumn Plains, right in front of the pool. 'Ooh! Can we go for a swim?' asked Nazza.
'How about you go for a swim, and I'll go look for the keys.'
'Okay!'
Nazza jumped into the pool and began doggy-paddling, while Spyro ran off into the distance.
'Hey wait! I don't know how to swim!'
Spyro decided to head over to the giant castle. He figured that since the majority of portals were there the majority of keys and gems would be there.
'Now how did I climb up this wall before?' Spyro wondered. Then he remembered the ancient art of walljitsu that was taught to him by Moneybags, and began climbing.
'This is a lot higher than I remember it,' he exclaimed as he finally reached the top. Then he realised he'd climbed all the way to the top of the castle, and was standing fifteen feet above the hall he was supposed to be at.
After he'd glided back down to where he should be, he began walking through the halls. 'Ah, this brings back memories.'
--SPYRO'S MEMORIES--
Spyro walked through the hall of the giant castle. 'One day I'm going to walk through here and get a feeling of deja vu.'
--NOT SPYRO'S MEMORIES--
'Hey wait, I've never been here before.'
Nazza had been wandering, and had come across a marble structure. It had a ramp swirling around it, so naturally he walked up the ramp. At the top of the pegola he found a portal that wasn't working, and guess who was standing next to it.
No, it wasn't Adam Sandler.
It was Moneybags.
'Moneybags!' Nazza gasped.
'That's me,' said Moneybags.
'Let me guess, I have to pay you before you'll make this portal work?'
'How'd you know?' Moneybags replied.
Nazza rolled his eyes.
'Well, where's the cash?' Moneybags asked, his hand making the moolah sign.
'So sorry,' he said sarcastically, 'but I can't pay you.'
'WHY NOT! Don't tell me you've spent it all on gambling!'
'No,' Nazza said, 'the reason I can't pay you is because...'
Moneybags listened intently with a frightened look on his face.
'Spyro's the one with all the cash, and as you can see he's not here.'
'Oh no! He's passed away!'
'You idiot.' Nazza jumped back down to the ground, and sat around trying to think of a way to get the portal open.
Spyro came to the halfway mark of the hall and stopped to look out the windows. Then he remembered it was just boring sky, and turned around.
'Hey, what's the deal with that crack in the wall?' Spyro approached the wall and tapped at the crack. A tiny bit of wall was dislodged and fell to the ground. 'I bet I could break this wall. Nevermind the risk that it's holding up the entire castle and that breaking it could make the whole thing collapse.' Spyro backed up as far as he could go without falling to his death out a window, then charged full-bore at the wall.
He backed up, and noticed it hadn't fallen. 'Damn,' he said. 'Maybe I didn't charge hard enough.' He backed up and was getting ready to charge again when the crack suddenly started getting bigger. 'Here we go!' said Spyro as the crack turned into several cracks, and eventually the wall was just bits of rubble yet to fall.
'Now all I have to do is wait for it to fall apart.'
Nazza encircled the pegola, looking for anything that could be interfering with the portal. He found nothing.
'Maybe he's using a frequency jammer,' Nazza decided, and went wandering around looking for a place where said frequency jammer might be hidden.
He continued wandering for several hours, not knowing the logistics behind the portal nor anything of use. 'Oh well, I give up,' said Nazza, and he jumped head first into the pool...
'It's not falling apart!' Spyro growled exasperatedly. He shot out a flame in annoyance, and was about to charge at the wall one last time when it finally collapsed.
'Hey, there's something shiny in the rubble.' Spyro reached in, and pulled out...
-----------------------------1 Candy Wrapper(s) Found-----------------------------
'Sweet.'
Moneybags sighed. 'I wish I hadn't spent all my money on gambling. I guess I do have an addiction. Wait, no I don't.'
Spyro picked up the key he'd found in the rubble, put the candy wrapper in his pocket, and stepped over what was left of the wall. 'Wow, a new hall. I wonder how old this is...'
At the end of the hall was a very strong updraft. It was so strong that it shot Spyro up onto the roof of the castle. 'Hey, wasn't I here before? Feels like deja vu.' He then realised he wasn't alone.
'Welcome back, Mr Anderson,' said a voice. 'We missed you.'
Spyro turned around to find himself face to face with...
No, not Adam Sandler.
He found himself face to face with Hugo Weaving!
Spyro gasped. 'How did you know my last name?'
'I know everything. Me, me, me. Me too.'
Spyro ignored his schizophrenic tendencies. 'Why are you here?'
'I am here because I have a purpose. Without purpose there is no life. I -'
'I didn't want your life story,' said Spyro. 'Obviously you're here because your "purpose" is to do something to help me get a key.'
'Key?' said Hugo. 'You need to visit the keymaker.'
'Okay, this is just getting boring.' Spyro charged at Hugo, who didn't know what was happening until it was too late. He was bumped off the top of the castle, and fell to his grisly death.
'Hey look, he left behind a key.'
Spyro looked out over the edge of the castle, and saw the wall that separated land from the strange mist of death. 'Hey, I bet no one's ever walked on that wall,' he said, so he glided down and landed on the wall.
'Now, for no reason, I'm going to charge along the wall.' And charge he did. He charged until he reached the other side of the wall, which ended when it met the castle. Unfortunately he didn't notice that the part of the wall he was about to run into was also cracked and about to break.
By the time he'd hit the wall and shattered it he'd noticed it. And he also noticed the sparkly thing in the small room beyond the wall. He ran in, grabbed it, and then ran out just before the side of the castle collapsed.
Spyro leapt down and watched as the top half of the castle broke off and fell into the mist. 'Well, can't say I've seen that every day.' He turned around, and gasped in shock. He saw...
No, not Adam Sandler.
He saw Nazza. Floating. Upside down. In the pool.
'Oh no! He's dead! He's dead and it's all my fault! Or partly my fault! Or not my fault!'
Nazza looked up and said, 'What? You finally killed Moneybags?'
'You're alive!' Spyro cried, jumping into the pool and hugging Nazza. Unfortunately this caused Nazza to start inhaling water as he was dragged under.
'Spyro - stop - you're - killing - me -'
'Why were you upside down in the pool anyway?' asked Spyro, who had stopped manslaughtering him.
'I was practising my backstroke,' Nazza explained. 'Have you found any keys?'
'Yep, all three.'
'Spyro, there's four.'
'Oh.'
Several minutes later Spyro found Nazza at the foot of the pegola looking up. 'I found the last of the gems - what are you looking at?'
'See for yourself,' said Nazza. Spyro looked up, and saw...
No, not Steve Buscemi. (You thought I was gonna say Adam Sandler, didn't you?)
He saw Moneybags. Dead. With bits of marble sticking out of his crushed skull.
'Oh no! He's dead! He's dead and it's all my fau...yes! Moneybags is finally dead!'
'Hmm, how are we going to move the debris out of the way?' Nazza asked. 'After all, it's not every day the roof of a pegola falls down and kills someone.'
'Yeah, it's not every day this sort of thing happens,' said Spyro. 'Which is why we should celebrate, while it's still daylight!' He pulled a bottle of champagne out of nowhere and popped the little cork at the top of the bottle.
'No, we should get rid of all this rubble first,' said Nazza.
'Why?'
'There's a portal in there somewhere.'
'Who cares?'
'And with Moneybags dead, we could take all his money...'
Five minutes later the rubble had cleared and they were $2 richer.
'This is weird,' said Nazza, who stood at the top of what was now a marble pillar of sorts. 'There's a powerpoint here.' He found a cord lying nearby, so he plugged it into the powerpoint. 'Hey! So that's why the portal wasn't on properly! And to think that cheat Moneybags was gonna make us pay so he could flick a switch.'
So Spyro and Nazza partied on through the night, joined by Sparx and on occasion by Hunter and Elora. Hunter and Elora had no idea of the "tragedy" that had just occurred, so they partied harder than ever.
---Spyro and Nazza's Journal---
PAGE 11
-Autumn Plains-
Gems: 400/400
Keys: 4/4
(1) Another Brick in the Wall (Part I)
(2) Another Brick in the Wall (Part II)
(3) Another Brick in the Wall (Part III)
(4) 400 Gems
--THE NEXT MORNING--
Spyro woke up with a very heavy hangover, and gasped as he saw...
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You won't be expecting what happens next. I know I'm not.
NB: Sorry about the horizontal rules. I have no idea in hell why doesn't allow the equals sign, those little arrows or the asterisks. So blame that guy who runs for the shoddy formatting.
Did You Know? Yeah I know it's officially called Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage, but the copy I have is called Spyro 2: Gateway to Glimmer. So nyah.