Note: I do not own Love Hina or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

WARNING: These bits of fan fiction are completely strewn with random and mindless humor. Read at your own risk.

GYRAX Presents…

Love Hina: BakaFictions to Go

Chapter 5: Ki-Tsu-Ne-Oh!

Kitsune sits in her room, holding what looked like a deck of cards. She puts a demonic kind of evil grin on her face, and runs out of her room, shouting, "Let's rock them bee-yotches!"

"Don't worry, Naru." Keitaro said. "I already had them disciplined for using you as a guinea pig for their Human Action Figure Project."

"Well, I hope for your own good that it doesn't happen again."

"I've already taken a few extra steps…"

"HEY, KEITAROOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The scream had the landlord shooting up through the roof, and beyond the Troposphere. Kitsune popped out and assessed the damage. "Damn! I sent him sky high!"

"Kitsune!" Naru said angrily. "What the hell was that for!"

"The sake of humor." The sly fox replied.

The three-time ronin crashes back to Earth. After a few seconds, he gets up and throws a demonic look at Kitsune in front of Him. "WHAT THE FUNKIN WHACKO WAS THAT FOR!"

"The sake of humor." The sly fox replied. "By the way, I have a new card battle game I think you should try out. Wanna try?"

"Nope. I already have issues with all that Magic: The Gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Kaijudo bullcrap as it is." Keitaro replied.

"Oh, but this one's different." Kitsune added casually. "This one is… Ki-Tsu-Ne-Oh!" She holds a deck of cards above her head and says, "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" You see lightning all over the background.

Keitaro just gives her a blank look. "How could that be innovative if the title alone spells 'doom through litigation'?"

Kitsune responds by piercing Keitaro's eyes with her own. "If you tell Kazuki Takahashi OR Konami about this, I swear I'll make you eat your own f—king glasses!"

"All right! I won't tell anyone! I don't WANT to eat my own f—king glasses."

"Good. LET'S PLAY!"

"Um… what's going on here?" Naru asked.

Later, Kitsune and Keitaro had their own set of cards, ready for them lay down on the dining room table.

"Ready, Keitaro?"

"Well, sort of."

Mitsune "Kitsune" Konno: 2000 HP

Keitaro Urashima: 2000 HP

"Your move first, Keitaro." Kitsune said.

The landlord pulled a card from his deck and put it face-up on the table. He couldn't believe it. "Budweiser? This is an alcohol-themed card battle game?"

"Nice card. Too bad I have a countermeasure." Kitsune puts a card on the table that had a picture of a Miller Lite bottle on it.

"Miller Lite?" Keitaro responded.

"Yep. It's less calories and less carbs."

Keitaro puts another card on the table. "Bud Light?"

"Less carbs but not as much taste as Miller."

"Budweiser Select?"

"A pathetic attempt on Anheuser-Busch's part to overthrow Miller Lite. Statistics and a commercial show."

"Ok, that's total bullcrap!"

"I think I'll attack, now. Ginjo-Shu, a type of Sake."

"Crap." Keitaro said. "What else do I have, here?" He looks at his next card with disbelief. "Tsingdao! What the hell!"

Mitsune "Kitsune" Konno: 1375 HP

Keitaro Urashima: 640 HP

This is Kitsune's game, after all.

"Okay…" Keitaro said, putting another card at the table. "Red Bordeaux 2001 Lacoste-Borie?"

"All right, I'll attack, now." The sly fox said, putting another card on the table. "Sweet! I got a White Bordeaux 1976 Chateau d'Yquem! You're done for, Keitaro!"

Mitsune "Kitsune" Konno: 875 HP

Keitaro Urashima: 50 HP

"You have one more turn before it's over. What now, Keitaro?" Kitsune said with a grin.

"Ah, hell." Keitaro pulls out a card, and now he starts to grin.

"Whatcha looking so cocky for?" Kitsune said in slight confusion.

Keitaro slams his last card on the table. "ELECTROMAGNET CARD! This turns my Red Bordeaux 2001 Lacoste-Borie into a Red Bordeaux 1959 Margaux, which pwns your White Bordeaux 1976 Chateau d'Yquem, BEE-YOTCH!"

"OH, MY GOD! WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU!" Kitsune screamed as she pointed towards Keitaro.

The landlord looks behind him and sees nothing, and when he turns his head forward again, he finds out that Kitsune was gone. He fell for a cheap-ass tactic. All he did, though, was speak to himself. "Well, I would probably do something stupid like that if I lost my own game."

In front of the Hinata Sou, Kanako and Mutsumi were waging war against an army of evil Green Berets, or Girl Scouts if you like to call them that.

Kanako grew increasingly irritated. "Is this the only part in this stupid fic I'm ever going to get!"

Mutsumi was cheerful as usual. "Something tells me that our time will come soon."

Kanako took those few words and thought for a second. Then something clicked in her head. "Oh, no! No no no no no no NO NO NO NO!"

End Chapter 5

Nothing like random humor to cheer someone up, eh?

(You got to admit, that was a clever way to address Kitsune's drinking problem.)

Hand down those reviews and I'll lay down Chapter 6

A.D.D. and A.D.H.D.: There's a difference!